In seconds, he had the door shoved open and was rolling them out onto the patio as the sounds of the smoke alarm blaring followed them. His wheelchair barely finished rolling to a stop when she found herself shifted on his lap so that she was straddling him and
“You’re hurt,” Chase said, jaw clenched as he ran his trembling hands over her, searching for injuries.
“I’m fine, Chase,” she said, struggling to catch her breath now that he’d released her, but he wasn’t listening.
He kept searching, shoving her shirt out of his way, running his trembling hands over her arms, her neck, her chest, stomach, and legs and when he didn’t find anything, he searched again.
“I’m fine,” she promised him, cupping his face in her hands.
“No, you’re not!” he snapped, shaking his head stubbornly as he continued searching for injuries that weren’t there.
“Chase, look at me,” Sloane said, leaning forward so that he was looking at her. “I’m fine.”
“You’re hurt,” Chase bit out as he continued to check her.
“I’m not hurt, Chase,” she promised him only to wince when she heard the sounds of the security company speaking over the security panel, asking if everything was okay.
Sighing, she said, “I need to go answer that before they send the fire department,” as she moved to climb off his lap and
“No, it’s not safe!” he yelled, pulling her back onto his lap so that he could wrap his trembling arms around her.
“Chase, I”
“I can’t lose you, too,” he said as he buried his face against her shoulder. “I can’t lose you. I can’t lose you,” Chase mumbled over and over again, shaking his head as he held on tightly to her.
“You’re not going to lose me,” Sloane promised him as she wrapped her arms around him, wishing that she knew how to make this right for him.
*-*-*-*
He couldn’t believe he’d lost it like that.
He couldn’t…
He couldn’t…
“FUCK!” Chase roared as he grabbed hold of the patio chair next to him and sent it flying.
“I was going to ask how you were holding up, but I guess that works too,” Grey said as he joined him.
“Go away,” Chase bit out, in no fucking mood to deal with any more bullshit tonight.
“I’m afraid that I can’t do that,” Grey murmured as he picked up the patio chair and brought it closer.
“I’m not fucking kidding right now,” Chase said, struggling against the urge to put his fist through a fucking wall as he struggled to get the image of Sloane looking at him with pity out of his fucking head.
“I know you’re not,” Grey said, placing the chair next to Chase and sat down.
“Then, why are you here?” Chase snapped.
“Because Sloane’s terrified,” Grey said, making his stomach drop.
“I didn’t mean to hurt her,” Chase said hollowly, wondering what the hell was wrong with him.
One minute, he was enjoying the way it felt to have Sloane in his arms and the next…
“What the fuck is wrong with me?” Chase snapped, clenching his hands into fists.
“Nothing’s wrong with you,” Grey said, shaking his head lazily.
“Are you fucking kidding me? I fucking hurt her!”
“No, you didn’t,” Grey said softly.
“What the fuck do you know about it?” Chase snapped, feeling sick to his stomach.
It was just a fucking smoke alarm and he’d lost it.
God, he
“One of my mother’s favorite ways to punish me when I was little was to lock me in the closet after she beat me and leave me there for days at a time,” Grey announced, making him frown. “By the time social services finally stepped in, I couldn’t handle small spaces anymore. I’d lose it every fucking time I thought about going into a closet.”
“What did you do?” Chase asked, willing to do anything to stop this from happening again.
“For a while, I avoided small spaces, thinking that it would help, but it actually made it worse. I couldn’t even handle looking at a closet door or having anyone next to me. It got to the point where I had to give myself a fucking pep talk in order to get into the lunch line at school, but after a while, I couldn’t even do that. I got so sick of it that I started forcing myself to go into my closet. A few seconds at first, but eventually, I was able to sleep in my closet at night. I kept doing it until my terror grew into boredom. The memories are still there, but they’ve lost their hold on me,” Grey said as he sat back in his chair.
The thought of hearing those alarms going off had Chase’s stomach turning, but…
“This stays between us,” Chase said even as he glared down at his clenched hands.
“Of course,” Grey murmured.
Nodding, Chase released a shaky breath and…
“I lied to them,” he admitted.
“What did you tell them?” Grey asked, probably already guessed who he was talking about.
“I told them that everything was going to be okay and that I was going to get them out of there,” he said with a humorless chuckle. “I couldn’t fucking move and I told them that I was going to keep them safe.”
“You gave them comfort, Chase.”
“I couldn’t even fucking give them that!” he snapped, releasing a shuddering breath. “Everything fucking hurt. I couldn’t focus on what they were saying, but I knew that they were screaming for their mother. The building was still crashing down around us when they stopped breathing. I couldn’t do anything more than lay there, wondering when I was going to fucking join them.”
“But you didn’t,” Grey murmured.
“No, I didn’t.”
“What did you think about while you were laying there?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Chase said, shaking his head, refusing to go there.
“Fair enough,” Grey said before adding, “Then why don’t we figure out a way to make this better?”
“I already know what makes this better,” Chase said, sighing heavily as he sat back against his wheelchair and watched as Sloane walked into her room.
“And what’s that?” Grey asked as Chase forced himself to look away.
“Something that I can’t have.”
Chapter 35
She was in over her head, Sloane realized as she watched Chase stare at her patio door, but even knowing that didn’t stop her from sighing in relief when he opened her door and quietly made his way inside.
When he stopped by her side of the bed, she moved to sit up only to stop when he shook his head with a softly murmured, “No,” as he reached over and turned on the lamp by her bed. Worrying her bottom lip, Sloane watched as Chase reached for the sheet covering her and slowly pulled it down. When she went to stop him, he simply ignored her and finished pulling the sheet down until the pale pink marks beneath her breasts were visible.
For a moment, he simply sat there, staring at the marks until all she wanted to do was to pull the sheet back up and tell him that everything was fine, but the look on his face had her laying there, worrying her bottom lip as she waited for him to say something. He reached over and gently ran his fingertips over the pale pink mark that his arm had left behind as his jaw clenched tightly.
He traced the light mark several more times as he leaned over and pressed his lips against her skin. When he was done, Chase sat back up as he quietly said, “Roll over onto your stomach.”
Without a word, Sloane rolled over onto her stomach and laid her head on her folded arms as she watched him. His gaze moved over her back, looking for any marks and when he didn’t find any, he reached into her nightstand and grabbed the small tube of lotion that she used to help his muscles relax. He tossed it on the bed next to her before setting the locks on his wheelchair and leaned over to move the foot pedals out of the way before he sat back up.
He locked eyes with her as he reached back and pulled his sh
irt off, tossing it aside before he grabbed hold of his armrests and pushed himself up until he was standing next to her bed. As she laid there, she watched as he reached over and grabbed hold of the headboard with one hand to steady himself as he reached down and pulled his belt loose. She watched as he unsnapped his pants and pulled the zipper down before releasing the headboard so that he could push his shorts off along with his boxers.
Once he was done, he carefully climbed onto the bed next to her and picked up the lotion. He squeezed some lotion into his hand and
“I’m sorry, Pookie. It will never happen again,” Chase said as he tossed the tube back on the bed.
When she opened her mouth to tell him that there was nothing to apologize for, he cut her off with a quietly murmured, “Don’t,” as he placed his hands on her back and stole a soft groan from her as he moved his hands over her.
God, that felt good, Sloane thought, closing her eyes on a moan as he slowly moved his hands over her shoulders. It had been so long since she’d had a massage that she’d forgotten just how good they felt. Then again, she thought on another moan as Chase moved his hands down her back, she couldn’t remember it ever feeling this good before.
“Is this okay?” Chase asked as he slowly worked his hands down the small of her back.
“Perfect,” Sloane said, only to find herself moaning as he worked his hands down her body, pushing the sheet down as he went.
As she laid there, feeling more relaxed than she had in years, Chase took his time working his hands down her legs, gently massaging every muscle as he went. When he worked his hands back up her body, he followed the move by kissing a trail up her leg as his hands slid over her thighs, pushing her legs further apart as he went.
When he moved his hands over her bottom, pausing to gently squeeze it before moving his hands over her back, she rolled her bottom lip between her teeth to stop herself from moaning. He took his time, running his hands over her as she laid there, her hands grabbing hold of the pillow as every touch, caress, and gentle brush of his lips had her breath catching in her throat and her body aching for more.
She’d never met a man that could affect her like this before.
She didn’t know what it was about him, but every touch, look, kiss, and caress left her trembling and desperate for more. He knew every inch of her body, knew exactly what to do to make her lose control, and knew exactly what to do to have her coming back for more.
She wanted him, more with each passing day, and that was the problem because she couldn’t have him. She had a life to get back to and it didn’t include him. She was tempted to ask for an extension on her leave of absence, but that would make it harder to leave. The only thing making leaving bearable was knowing that she would see him every time that she came home to visit her family, which she was going to have to make sure that she did often because she wasn’t sure how long she would be able to go without his touch. This was a dangerous game that she was playing, but she couldn’t seem to make herself care, not when it felt this good.
When he helped roll her over onto her back, she opened her eyes so that she could watch him. His gaze met hers as his hands found her shoulders. Chase moved his hands down her arms in a teasing caress before running them back up her arms, over her shoulders, and down between her breasts as his gaze followed the move.
He slowly worked his hands down her body, watching as his fingertips trailed over her skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. She loved the way that he looked at her, the way that he couldn’t seem to get enough of her, and
“Mmmmm,” Sloane found herself moaning when his hands moved back up her body and settled over her breasts.
As he ran his hands over her breasts, teasing her nipples as they brushed against his palms, Sloane reached over and cupped his jaw, needing to touch him. Chase turned his head so that he could kiss her palm. Once he was done, he released her breasts so that he could place his hands on the bed on either side of her and carefully moved himself over her so that he was kneeling between her legs.
Chase leaned down and pressed a kiss against her throat before moving down, kissing a trail down to her stomach, pausing to kiss his way to each breast, making her lick her lips before he continued down, kissing his way to her stomach. He shifted lower so that the next time he kissed her, her back was arching off the bed and her fingers were threading through his hair as he tore a moan from her, leaving her desperate for more.
Her eyes slid closed as she felt his tongue slowly slide between her legs, moving over her clit and making her body come alive. He took his time licking her, teasing her clit with the tip of his tongue before tracing a path down and continued teasing her. Chase took his time, knowing what she liked.
Just when she didn’t think that she could take anymore, she felt his tongue slowly slide inside her, tearing a groan from her as she gave up running her fingers through his hair and grabbed hold of the sheet beneath her. For several minutes, Chase took his time, trying to give her what he thought she needed, but the problem was that wasn’t what she needed right now.
She needed him.
Sloane sat up, giving Chase no other choice but to do the same and when he did, she cupped his face in her hands as she laid back down, taking Chase with her. As soon as her head touched the pillow, he was settling between her legs as his mouth found hers. As she wrapped her arms around him, she couldn’t help but wonder how she was going to survive letting him go.
Chapter 36
Three Months Later…
“Five more minutes,” came the loudly mumbled announcement that had Chase dropping his cellphone back on the armrest and sitting back so that he could glare at the small woman wearing noise cancellation headphones while the sounds of a smoke alarm blaring throughout the house threatened to give him a fucking headache.
When Sloane noted the glare on his face, she playfully stuck her tongue out at him even as she pointedly wiggled her feet in his lap. Making sure to sound properly put-out, not that she could actually hear him, he began rubbing her feet, making sure that he brushed his fingertips over the sensitive skin just right and–
Made her gasp as she pulled her feet back with a mock glare, “You’re so mean,” Sloane said, smiling as she returned her attention back to the book in her hand.
Keeping his gaze on her, Chase reached over and paused the audio file that he’d forced himself to listen to every day, twice a day, for the past three months to numb the effect loud noises had on him. For the first month, it had been hell on earth, but now...
He was bored out of his fucking mind.
Within seconds, the house was once again blissfully silent and he could focus on the small woman that was driving him crazy. For a moment, he was content to sit there, watching her as she read. God, she was so fucking beautiful, Chase thought, taking in her short hair that he loved running his fingers through, the way that she worried her bottom lip between her teeth as she tried to bite back a smile, and…
He wished that he’d met her first.
He wished that she’d been the one that he’d spotted in that orange grove. He never would have been able to let her leave that orchard without stealing a kiss, Chase thought, unable to help but smile only to feel every last ounce of amusement leave him as he remembered the thoughts that had gone through his head as he’d laid under that rubble waiting to die.
He’d said his goodbyes.
He’d prayed that his men had managed to get out of the building in time. He’d thought about how much he was going to miss his sister, how much he loved her, how much he’d wished that he could be there to watch her children grow up. He’d worried about Amy, terrified that no one would be there to take care of her only…
Even as he laid there, knowing that he was about to die, he hadn’t thought about how much he’d loved her and that was probably the only reason why he hadn’t lost his mind at the prospect of never seeing her again.
If it had been Sloane…
God, he couldn’t
even fucking think about being trapped under that rubble and realizing that he would never see Sloane again. He would have lost his fucking mind. He never would have survived waking up in that hospital alone, finding out that she’d left him, but even as he sat there telling himself that Sloane would never do something like that to him, he knew that he would never allow it to happen for one simple reason.
He would never allow himself to fall in love with her.
Losing Amy had damn near destroyed him, he couldn’t imagine going through that with Sloane. No matter how much he wanted her, and god, did he want her, he couldn’t keep her. He couldn’t risk losing her and he knew that it was only a matter of time before something happened and he was forced to live without her.
She should have gone back to work a month ago, but neither one of them had brought it up yet and to be honest, he wasn’t ready to say goodbye yet. He wanted a little more time with her before it was time for her to leave. Even then, he knew that it would take some time before he would be able to finally let her go.
He just wanted a little more time with her. He planned on visiting her after she left, but he knew that sooner or later that wouldn’t be enough for her and she’d finally tell him goodbye. When that day came, he’d be more than ready to let her go. She deserved better than him, better than a man that could never love her.
He’d tell himself that she was happy and safe and that would have to be enough for him. But for now, he was going to enjoy what little time they had left.
“So,” came the softly sighed word as Sloane tossed her book aside so that she could climb onto his lap, “I was thinking.”
“Yeah?” Chase asked, leaning in to brush his lips against hers simply because he couldn’t help himself.
“About the gala for Shadow House this Friday,” Sloane said as she reached down and took his hands in hers, entwining their fingers together as she settled more comfortably on his lap.
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