by Brag!: The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing It
Getting Carried Away with PowerPoint
These days Microsoft PowerPoint is all the rage for preparing and presenting information to groups of people. As its popularity has risen, many people have come to believe that whenever they are in front of a group, they need to whip out their PowerPoint. If they stopped and really reflected on the true needs of their audience, they might find that is not always the case.
Recently the president of a large advertising firm, a longtime friend of mine, described his preparations for a prelaunch sales and marketing meeting with the publishing house that was soon to be releasing his first book. He kept emphasizing the importance of getting his PowerPoint presentation “just right” for the twenty people from various departments who would be in the meeting. As we talked about his plans, he casually mentioned that his agent, a mutual friend, was against his using PowerPoint because she thought it was more important for him to establish a personal relationship with the members of the publishing team than to present a bunch of factual information. The agent wanted him to bring only himself, as he had at their initial proposal meetings with editors when, as she put it, he wowed them with his personality, demeanor, and expertise. She thought that our friend would be better served at the upcoming meeting by informally discussing the sales and marketing strategy and by building a rapport with the key players who were going to be so essential to the book’s success.
In the end, even with my objections added to his agent’s, Mr. President took his twenty-five-slide PowerPoint presentation to the meeting. Later he hinted to me that maybe we were right after all. When I asked the agent what happened, she said, “I couldn’t believe that he pulled out that PowerPoint presentation. When he was on the fifth slide, I looked out and saw a sea of glazed stares. Sensing the downward direction of the meeting, I said, You know, I don’t think we need to see all of this right now; let’s just talk. What does the publicity department have in mind?’ Everyone proceeded to join in the discussion. In the end, they all connected the way they should have in the first place.”
The way we talk, listen, and respond to others will strongly influence how they respond to us. We all want to feel that we are being personally acknowledged. When we believe that someone is truly addressing our feelings and intentions, we respect him and feel more open to what he has to say. Talk and listen with your whole body: your eyes, your ears, your head, and your heart.
Brag Nag #8: LEVERAGE THE POWER OF HUMOR, STORIES, AND ANECDOTES
What is the single most memorable, impressive, and credible way to reveal yourself and your accomplishments in an unassuming and magically invisible manner? Tell a story about yourself in a colorful, lighthearted, or humorous way. Everybody loves a story, and we all have lots of them. When used as a bragging tool, a story can engage people and allow you to subtly sing your own praises in a way that comes off as authentic but disarming. Using real-life anecdotes to show how you’ve solved problems, how you got interested in your field, what makes you just right for the job, or simply describe what you do for a living is a more powerful and compelling way of expressing yourself than stating the facts will ever be. Unlike those reasoned facts, a story well told will set you apart from the competition.
Recently I was helping the managing director of a large investment firm craft a pitch on the importance of teamwork—in which she had to demonstrate her leadership capabilities—for delivery to a postmerger group of sixty employees in her newly formed division. She opened by saying:
I’ve come from Wall Street, where the mentality is “every man for himself,” to a firm that is quite different in the sense that teamwork is directly linked to compensation. In fact, your bonuses are completely tied to the collective efforts and successes of this team. I actually know a lot more about teamwork than you might suspect. Long before I started my career, I grew up in a family with seven children. I was number five. I learned very quickly that there can be multiple views on even the simplest of topics, from whose turn it was to do the dishes or mow the lawn to where to go on our next vacation—believe me, with seven kids packed in a car on a cross-country journey, it was important that everyone was happy with the decision! Essentially, for things to run smoothly we all had to march to the same beat. So I am here today to offer my views on what I think our goals and objectives should be, and most important, to get input from each and every one of you over the course of the next two weeks.
Personal stories and anecdotes, injected with a bit of humor when appropriate, are your most powerful tools in learning how to brag without backlash. When they illustrate a relevant or important point, they can help you avoid coming off like you’re talking about yourself just for the sake of talking about yourself, the hallmark of irritating braggers. They allow you to bond with those who are listening to you and communicate more effectively while subtly underscoring your history and strong points. Okay, so enough nagging. Start bragging!
CHAPTER 10
A Confession and Twelve Tooting Tips
I’d like to leave you with a confession and twelve tooting tips for mastering the art of bragging. First the confession.
Early on in my coaching career I was in Santa Fe to give a workshop on executive presence to a group of female physicians. These women were incredibly bright and accomplished, with multiple degrees and specialties I couldn’t even pronounce. When I arrived at the check-in table, I was handed a badge that said “Peggy Klaus, Communication Expert.” I was horrified. How could I possibly walk around and so brazenly pronounce myself expert? I ran back to my hotel room and worked feverishly at rubbing the word off the badge, only succeeding in erasing the T. When I stood up that morning in front of the group of distinguished women, I decided to begin the workshop by telling this story.
After being introduced, I shook my head and started to laugh, saying:
The most incredible thing just happened to me that I think all of you can relate to. This morning I came down to the registration desk, where they handed me a badge that said “Peggy Klaus, Communication Expert.” I grabbed the badge and ran upstairs to my room, where I started to hyperventilate while dialing my husband at work. “Oh my God, Randy,” I blurted out to him when he picked up the phone. I sounded so upset that he thought I had been in an accident and was calling from a hospital. “They gave me this badge at the conference that says ‘Peggy Klaus, Communication Expert.’ “ There was dead silence before he asked, “And your point is?” I responded by saying that I couldn’t possibly wear a badge proclaiming me as the expert, it’s so obnoxious; it’s so self-aggrandizing. Randy replied, “But you are the communication expert! That’s why they’ve asked you to the conference.” “Well, maybe,” I said, adding, “but I can’t have it say so on my badge.”
“So what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “I have to be on stage in ten minutes. What would you do?”
“I would put on the badge, walk around proudly, and introduce myself to everyone by saying, ‘Hi I’m Randy Keyworth, Communication Expert.’”
“You’re no help!” I told him and hung up.
So what did I do? I picked up my butter knife off the room-service tray from breakfast and tried to rub out the word expert from my badge. But I only had five minutes before I needed to be downstairs and all I could get off was the letter T. So now I stand before you as Peggy Klaus, Communication Exper. And even though each of us in this room is an expert, we never think we are good enough. We suffer from the Impostor Complex. Even though I have successfully coached hundreds of clients, even though I’ve worked extensively with doctors on their teaching skills and bedside manner, even though I am published, even though I am totally educated and qualified, I still fear being caught not knowing everything a real expert in my field would know.
Before I could continue, the entire room was on its feet, applauding and cheering me on. When the room calmed, several women stood up and started to talk about their own similar experiences in the field of medical science. With m
y little confession I had relaxed this group of women doctors and formed a deep bond by relating to them personally. I had revealed my own vulnerability as a person and had shown the courage to expose my human-ness. As you can see from the above, my presentation was 95 percent story and 5 percent tooting. But the subtle manner in which I conveyed my expert qualifications—in the context of an amusing, self-deprecating story—was infinitely more powerful and memorable than the path that ineffective and irritating tooters often take.
I have journeyed from a reluctant self-promoter to an artful one. Yet even today, I can still hear my father cautioning me to never toot my own horn. So whether you are far along in your career or just starting out, don’t let your own bragging myths silence you. Self-promotion is undeniably a must-have skill in today’s workplace. And as with anything else, the more you practice, the more adept you will become at selling yourself.
As you embark on your campaign, always remember that bragging is an art. Put a horn in the hands of someone who doesn’t know how to toot and what do you hear? A cacophony that makes people turn away. Put it in the hands of someone who knows how to play, and it’s music to the ears. When you learn to play your horn well, people will listen. And so it is with the art of bragging.
Twelve Tooting Tips for Bragging
1. Be your best, authentic self.
2. Think about to whom you are tooting.
3. Say it with meaningful and entertaining stories.
4. Keep it short and simple.
5. Talk with me, not at me.
6. Be able to back up what you say.
7. Know when to toot.
8. Turn small talk into big talk.
9. Keep bragologues and brag bites current and fresh.
10. Be ready at a moment’s notice.
11. Have a sense of humor.
12. Use it all: your eyes, ears, head, and heart.
We would love to hear about
your bragging successes and bragging bombs.
Please visit our website at
www.bragbetter.com for details on submitting your stories.
FOR YOUR NEXT EVENT…THINK BRAG!
• Professional Development
• Sales Training
• Orientations
• Annual Meetings
• And more…
BRAG! training content is broad-based, building skills for both professional development (promoting yourself and your agenda) and business development (promoting your company and its products). Programs range from a two-hour BRAG! Party (a cocktail-style networking event) to a two-day workshop. All BRAG! trainings are interactive and full of experiential exercises. They include opportunities for giving and receiving feedback, creating an elevator-pitch bragologue, and learning the skills needed to become a more dynamic communicator in all situations.
BRAG! Parties: Highly interactive, cocktail-style affairs, where people can network personally and professionally, and fearlessly practice tooting their own horns without blowing it. Klaus reveals key self-promotion techniques interspersed with fun, experiential exercises like speed bragging, where people change partners every few minutes.
BRAG! Workshops: An entertaining and informative way of reminding professionals about the critical importance of self-promotion in today’s dog-eat-dog world, while giving them an opportunity to test Klaus’s techniques for better bragging. Workshops extend the focus from promoting yourself to promoting your company’s products and services. They can be scheduled for two hours to two days.
BRAG! Keynotes: Klaus offers BRAG! Keynote presentations that incorporate the interactive nature of her workshops and parties into a format appropriate for larger groups.
For more information or to share your
bragging successes or bragging bombs,
visit our website at
www.bragbetter.com, e-mail us at
[email protected] or call
Klaus & Associates at 510-464-5921.
ALSO AVAILABLE FROM WARNER BOOKS
HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS WITHOUT WORKING SO DAMN HARD
by Robert J. Kriegel
“Kriegel is on to something here…. Many terrific suggestions…. Read this book.”
—Anne Fisher, Fortune.com
HOW TO SELL YOURSELF
by Joe Girard with Robert Casemore “Joe Girard is something special.”
—Newsweek
NICE GIRLS DON’T GET THE CORNER OFFICE
101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers
by Lois P Frankel, Ph.D.
“Terrific stuff! Any woman intent on getting ahead in the corporate world should read this book.”
—Anne Fisher, “Ask Annie” columnist,
Fortune magazine
“Persuasive…a valuable primer…a master of artful bragging.”
—PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
BRAG!
Is Not a “Four Letter” Word
In today’s cutthroat business world, where job security is virtually nonexistent, bragging is a necessity—not a choice! Remaining quiet about your successes only leads to being underappreciated and overlooked. Now Peggy Klaus, a world-renowned business coach who helps thousands of top professionals every year, teaches you how to toot your own horn in a way that’s sincere, feels comfortable, and is appealing to those you’re trying to impress. Filled with self-promotion solutions for both your professional and personal life, BRAG! shows you how to spotlight and artfully communicate your most important asset—you! Discover:
• The outdated but still popular bragging myths that can hold you back
• Subtle ways to share your talents without sounding smug or rehearsed
• Self-promotion tips for use at a moment’s notice in and out of the office
• Specific, dynamic advice to help you shine in performance reviews and job interviews
• How to harness the power of both voice mail and e-mail to effectively “techno-brag.”
“A must-read for everyone who deserves credit but is too humble to ask for it.”
—BOBBI SlLTEN, PRESIDENT, DOCKERS® BRAND, U.S., LEVI STRAUSS & Co.
