There is a brief contest between the brothers, as if they know something about me, something about what is brewing, but neither speaks. I get the impression that this has happened before, that I am not the first woman to stand between them in their epic feud. There is no revelation of whether this is true; they only glare at one another and Alec’s arms tighten as Caleb’s upper lip turns up in a smile.
“Shall we get to finding your professor?” He asks. The challenge is broken and my mind attempts to shake what just happened. There is no time to be thinking these things, to be caught up in whatever this is. I don’t have a plan for finding Henry, so I wait for instructions. None come and the silence weighs on me as powerfully as Henry’s disappearance.
Caleb begins. “Okay, so what do we already know? Other than that I don’t have him.”
I am shaking, although I don’t know what the trigger was. Alec pulls me back to my chair, comforting me, and helping me to settle down. He then finds his own; the conversation will take a while, now that we have exhausted our only lead.
“Scarlet came back to the dorm a mess. His office had been ransacked.”
“How could she tell?” Caleb asks and I can’t help but laugh. Henry’s office does have its own slovenly style.
“She said his things were missing. She also mentioned pages torn from books, entire shelves pushed to the floor, and a trail of blood. All of which I’m confident were not there this afternoon,” I add.
“But no note? No ransom?”
“Nothing,” I say. “I mean, Henry is a professor of mythology. Who on earth would want to hurt him? What could they possibly gain that they couldn’t learn from a book?”
“He’s been poking around lately,” Caleb says softly. “I needed to talk to him because he was circling close to people who may have insight into Alec and me and our hunt; there are forces who would not want Henry to find the information.”
“Forces? So Lilith?” I ask. There are only three of them, according to Alec - and if neither of them has Henry, I think it’s pretty clear who does. “I mean, she’s your mother, right? The woman who turned you? All that?”
“She’s smart,” Caleb says to Alec.
“Why is that surprising?” I ask. “Because I’m a girl?”
“Because my brother has confided in you an ancient secret that has never been shared with one of your kind - and you’re still here, speaking of Lilith. Therefore, you know what? I take it back. You’re abnormally stupid.”
“I pay attention in class. And I love your brother, curses and monsters notwithstanding. Don’t threaten me or try to frighten me away. I want to end this cycle as badly as you both.” They both just look at me, but someone has to be optimistic. Might as well be me. “Anyway, is there anyone other than our small group who is privy to the information? Could it be anyone else?”
“There are only three who are like us,” Alec explains. “But there are other...less than savory types out there. It’s not necessarily Lilith. Lately there have been-”
“But there are no other vampires?” I ask.
“Ugh, I hate that word,” Caleb complains. “According to your people, we dance about, drinking blood, wooing teenage girls, and throwing lavish parties.”
I simply stare at him, given that this is basically exactly what he and Alec have done in the past few weeks. Alec chuckles when he sees my expression but neither of us contradicts Caleb. He’s not laughing.
“Not vampires,” Caleb answers with a sneer. “Your word would be revenant, although as you do, you have corrupted the concept.”
“Revenants? Like ghosts?”
Caleb puts his face in his hands and starts to breathe deeply. I think at first he is hyperventilating, but it turns out he is trying to hold his temper. Alec smiles at me weakly and shrugs when Caleb looks at me, rage still simmering in his eyes, and lets out a long, slow breath. Apparently, my mythological creature understanding is not up to snuff.
“Not. The. Same. Thing.”
“Fine,” I say. “God, I didn’t know.”
Caleb and Alec both start to spasm. My eyes dart between them; I don’t understand what could be so agonizing that they are suddenly in pain. A quick glance around the cabin reveals nothing, so I wait until the mini seizures pass for Alec to whimper, “Don’t use that word.”
It takes me a second to realize he means God, which only confuses me more. “How come you can go in a church if you can’t hear the word?”
“A church is a human construction. There is nothing holy in it,” Caleb replies.
“A lot of people would beg to differ,” I argue.
“Let them. It’s still just stone and mortar.”
“But why? You can speak of demons, of Eden, of Heaven, but you can’t speak of-”
“No,” Alec says. “We chose to abandon His grace. In return, even the slightest mention can harm us. It was part of the curse.”
“But I said it in vain,” I point out. “Which, I suppose, makes me a terrible person.”
“If you had said it with conviction, it would have made us useless to you. At least for a time,” Caleb says. “So be thankful it was only in vain.”
“You know, that’s a really ridiculous weakness. Like Superman has his Kryptonite and all, but that shit is hard to find. It’s not hard to find someone who believes in-”
“Don’t say it,” they say simultaneously.
“I know. Jeez.” I pause. “I can say that?”
“This is getting us nowhere,” Caleb remarks.
“All right. Still, you guys should look into some kind of word protection. All someone has to do is stroll over to you and say one thing and you’re out of commission. Kind of weakens your chances significantly.”
“No one’s hunting us,” Alec says. “The only fight we have is with one another - and with Lilith. And none of us can say the word.”
“Except these revenants.”
“One, we don’t know if they’re after us or not. Two, they also cannot say the word, being equally shunned,” Caleb explains.
“Sure. Totally understood,” I say, but I’m on guard. So much for the magical vampires saving me from all evil. One dude walks into a room and says God and I am out of luck. If this is going to be a battle, I best start practicing my kung fu. “Anyway, the point is that Henry stumbled upon something and these revenants, who are not ghosts, are angry?”
“Maybe,” Alec replies.
“Maybe?”
“It’s a start,” he offers. “Although I don’t know what myth my brother...”
Caleb looks up. He’s been thinking, although I don’t know if it was even about Henry. “It may or may not be related. He was researching Lilith and the beginning, but the revenants didn’t begin to rise for nothing. They have to be connected somehow. I just can’t figure out-”
“It doesn’t matter,” Alec says. “We just need to find Henry. The rest changes nothing about what we must do.”
“Okay, so what now?” I interrupt. I don’t know much about revenants, vampires, Biblical mythology, or kidnappings in general, and I certainly have no idea what Alec and Caleb are talking about with connections. All I know is that Henry is missing and I need to find him. I wait for directions but neither of them seems to have a plan. Finally, I stand up and neaten my clothes. “Well, let’s find these revenants,” I declare.
Caleb laughs. “You aren’t finding anything. My brother or I can go. They won’t dare to hurt us.”
“Why not?”
It's Alec who replies. “The only one who can kill me is my brother; it is what has been fated.”
“What if someone were to kill Caleb?”
Caleb stands as well and takes his shirt off, showing off an obscenely sexy body. Come on, I think. Really? I try not to look, try not to be attracted to him, but it’s impossible. If Alec is beautiful, Caleb is even more so. I almost say aloud how unfair it is that he has such an amazing body until he turns, revealing scarred and burnt flesh along his back. The entirety
of his back makes it look like he was whipped; thick white scar lines branch across the length of him. However, it is what is in the center of his back that causes me to step forward. In the middle rests a symbol, connecting lines and a circle, all stemming from the scars along the edge. In the absolute center of the circle is a thick triangle, which is not scarred. The black ashy mark could be a tattoo if it was not so obviously the source of great pain. I reach out a hand to touch it, but Caleb steps back.
“No. No one can touch me here. The punishment is too great,” he says. For the first time, his voice reveals something I was not sure he possessed: sorrow and loneliness.
“The Mark of Cain,” I say, the darkness and misery of the myth finally settling on me. This is not a game and Alec and Caleb, as human and normal as they appear, are part of something that is dangerous and terrifying.
“It is my reminder, my curse,” he says and replaces his shirt. He sits back down and I am torn between going to him, holding him and offering him comfort, or running from the cabin and never looking back. Alec appears behind me and his arms reach around me, releasing the fear from me as they hold me close. I sense that he knows about my complicated feelings for his brother, but he says nothing.
“It’s getting late and we need to get moving. I’ll go; one of us should stay here to protect Nora,” Alec says.
“Why don’t you stay?” I ask. I want to argue that I don’t need protection but, after seeing Caleb’s back, I think perhaps I do. However, Caleb is not what I have in mind and my attraction to him is likely more of a risk than any curse. I don’t know how to express this to Alec, but I fear being alone with Caleb. It’s a delicious fear, an undeniable urgency; it is a threat to everything sacred.
“No. I need to go,” Alec says. “It’s what’s best.”
“I don’t understand,” I say.
“There are pieces that need to fall into place, questions that need answering. Besides, I have the cloak of night as well as your trust. If my brother took weeks to return, would you have faith he was still looking?” Alec asks.
“Well, no, but you won’t be gone weeks, will you?”
“I’ll be gone as long as it takes to find him - or until the cycle calls for completion.”
“How long is that?” I ask.
Caleb speaks. “I imagine we have until the next full moon before...”
Alec nods and turns to me. There is pain in his eyes, but also a determination to prove himself. I don’t need proof that he loves me. I just need him to come back safe. He takes me in his arms and kisses me, but under Caleb’s watch, it feels wrong somehow. I break from the kiss and gesture toward his brother.
“Don’t stop on my account,” Caleb says, although he is hiding his own suffering. I don’t know if it’s my kiss with Alec or the possibility of losing his brother, but something has rested on him and it is tearing him down. “I will watch your girlfriend, but she better not be difficult.”
“I have no doubt she will be,” Alec laughs. “And I have no doubt you will be happy to do it.”
“Alec, if this is to be-” Caleb starts, but his voice is choked off by sadness.
“She makes her own choices,” he replies. “I have come to terms with it. The forces at work... Well, we will see how it plays out this time around. I’m too tired to do it again.”
I don’t know what they’re talking about, but a look passes between them that tells me they’re still leaving much out. Frustrated and ignorant as always, I say nothing. There is nothing to say when no one wants to share your own destiny with you. Talk of curses, puzzles, cycles, and fate is empty; this is my life and yet my choices are being made by people who have all the secrets and hold all the cards. Torn between anger and the inherent desire I feel with both men, I give up. Alec is right; we will have to see how it plays out.
“I should leave immediately, before it starts to grow light,” Alec suggests.
“The revenant camps...” Caleb says, but doesn’t continue.
“There are camps?” I ask. “How many are there?”
“We don’t know, but they’ve been growing in size for a while now,” Caleb says. “Although our coming here seems to have slowed them.”
“It was the party,” Alec adds. “I haven’t heard of any new ones since the party.”
“That bothers me, brother. Their kind is not discriminating.”
Alec nods. “I know. If I find anything... Well, either way, I will be back before the moon changes or as soon as I have found Henry.”
Already I ache for him. This could take weeks, and when he returns... No. It won’t happen; by the time Alec comes back, I will know how to save him, I promise myself. Still, just as we started to become close, I am losing him. It feels almost planned, as if this is another test, another part of the story that is being written around the edges of my life.
“While you’re gone, Nora and I will begin tracking Lilith,” Caleb offers. “Although you do realize that her involvement, your relationship as it were, lessens our chances of success. Especially now that you have chosen...” He looks at me, as does Alec, and I burn under their observation. As soon as Alec leaves, I’m demanding answers. Caleb will tell me what I need to know.
“Perhaps,” Alec responds, “but I love her. What power does a curse have if it does not make one hope the impossible is somehow possible?”
“And yet, knowing what you know, knowing of the last time, you are leaving her-”
“She needs to make the choice,” he says. Alec’s eyes are blazing with anger and I want to ask what he means, but there is little darkness left in the night and he must leave. He walks me out of the cabin to say goodbye and kisses me deeply. No longer under the watchful eye of his brother, the passion returns to his lips and he starts for my sweatshirt. I want to give myself to him, to feel his body against mine, to feel him inside of me, but I know that it will only delay his leaving. It may also prevent him from finding Henry in time, so as much as my body aches for him, I pull away from the kiss and run my hand along his face. It terrifies me that this may be the last time I touch him like this, but in the name of the future, I stay steady.
“Why are you leaving? Why can’t Caleb go?”
He looks up to the sky and then his eyes come back to my face, the simmering intensity fighting to stay contained. “There is a story. The last time… I fell in love and it became personal. There isn’t time to tell you, but maybe my brother can fill you in on the details. It was his violence that changed things. Nora, I do what I must because it has shown to be the only way-”
“How? What if you just stop? Just let the cycle not happen?”
He holds my face in his hands. “Again, a story for another time. Suffice it to say that the penalty is great. And now, I need to know. I need to see what he does, who he is.”
“So you’re using me - as a test? Is that it?”
“I’m not using you. One of us must go. To be frank, I don’t trust him with my future. Sometimes I think he needs this cycle to have a purpose. It has to be me; at least I can promise I have a reason to return.” His lips press against mine again, but it’s a terrifying kiss; it feels so final.
“Be safe and come back for me,” I whisper.
He kisses me again quickly, his lips still a whisper on mine when he turns to leave. “I love you, Nora. What happens from here will not change that.”
And so, he disappears into the darkness, while I walk quietly back into the warmth of his brother’s cabin, having no idea what waits.
9.
Caleb’s protective duties are not very involved for the first few days and, in fact, he seems barely to register my existence. All of the sexual tension and, well, actual tension between us is gone; now, he is just a guy I see around sometimes. I prefer it and grow comfortable seeing him looming in the distance as I walk between buildings every so often. It’s almost funny; he looks like a stalker. Fortunately, no one else seems to notice and my life appears to have gotten back to normal. Minus, of co
urse, the missing professor, immortal boyfriend, and hunt for the mother of all monsters. I go to classes, worry about Henry while the TA bumbles through Henry’s lecture notes, and listen to Scarlet mourn her relationship (although she knows nothing about revenants, vampires, or even Alec). Therefore, it’s safe to say that I become somewhat complacent about the idea that I am in the middle of an unholy war. It almost feels like I stayed up too late reading and my sleepless night has mixed the story with the truth. I suppose then that it’s my fault when I come back to the dorm and find my room destroyed.
“What in the fuck?” Scarlet’s eloquence is beautiful music and I rush her in the doorway, crushing her in a hug. At least she’s safe. My things - not so much. However, they’re only things.
“You’re okay. I thought-”
She pushes me away and adjusts her dress. “Well, I’m fine. But Jesus, Nora, I do not feel like cleaning this.”
I wonder briefly if vampires have some magic ability to make things disappear. Scarlet’s right; this is going to be awful. All of my clothes are thrown around the room, my mattress is ripped and something drips from the tears, my books and notes are shredded, and the window is smashed. As much as I’d love to drop a match and pretend none of it happened, I assume Scarlet would disapprove. Great. I guess someone isn’t seeing her security deposit ever again.
“Guess we should start cleaning,” I say. I go first to the window and pick up the broken glass, stepping on a piece that had landed under my notes on Cain and Abel.
“Damn it,” I cry out, the glass having burst through the sole of my shoe and torn into the flesh on the underside of my foot. I pull off my shoe and blood seeps into my notes, making them useless; I suppose it doesn’t really matter. I figure, at this point, I either am acing this exam or will be dead before it takes place. Or my professor will be.
I collapse on Scarlet’s bed, since mine is more loose stuffing than bed now, and try to elevate my foot. The blood is rushing and I grab a tissue to staunch the flow. Although I know it is normal and not even a deep cut, seeing this much blood makes me woozy. Scarlet is just staring at me with suspicion when Caleb appears behind her. He doesn’t notice her as he hurries to my side; joining me on the bed, he starts to clean and treat my foot. Scarlet coughs, loudly, and I look up to see questions on her face. I shrug. I will explain later.
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