Connie scarcely blinked an eyelid as she eased herself away from the embrace. ‘A dab of milk and two saccharine for me. Couldn’t get a sniff of a cup all the way here.’
Sally Ann obeyed, avoiding Meg’s amused glance. ‘Go in and see Father, he’s in the parlour since his stroke.’
‘Is he not up and about yet? Do him no good to sit about feeling sorry for himself.’
Meg shook her head. ‘He’s got some movement back, but it’s limited.’
Connie sniffed her disapproval. ‘Self-pity is the killer, not the stroke. Never indulge in it myself. Get on and do what you have to do in life, that’s my motto. See you make a proper job of it. We’ll have to get him going.’
‘Connie, you are probably exactly the tonic he needs,’ said Meg, laughing. ‘We’ll leave him in your capable hands.’
She actually smiled. ‘You do that.’
‘How’s Peter?’ Meg asked later as they all sat down to a meal.
‘Pork, eh?’ Connie’s eyes blazed with interest as the plate was set before her. ‘Haven’t tasted meat for months.’
Not since last Christmas probably, thought Meg.
Connie jabbed in her fork and carried a sizeable chuck straight to her mouth. Moments later she thought to answer the question. ‘Didn’t I tell you? He was killed in action in ’42. I felt sure I must have mentioned it. I could manage another potato, if you’ve got one going spare.’
So a husband was disposed of, between the meat and the veg.
Kath arranged to visit Charlie’s station a few weeks after their first meeting and was given the full conducted tour. Not that she really needed one. Same long low Nissen huts, same coke stove belching out evil fumes.
‘Nothing changes,’ she laughed as they stood in a long queue for the privilege of eating an unidentifiable stew and two slices of dry bread in the Airmen’s Mess.
As if to set the seal on those words Kath walked right into the solid presence of an officer and tipped the awful mess of it right down his uniform.
‘Oh, I am so sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was going.’
‘Katherine Ellis, as I live and breathe.’
She stared dumbfounded, her throat closing so tight she could hardly squeeze the words out. ‘Wade, what are you doing here?’
‘I could ask the same of you.’ He glanced behind her at Charlie and sketched a salute to them both in response to Charlie’s smartly clicked heels. ‘Only I can probably guess. How are you these days?’ Kath was frantically trying to clean the mess with a cloth she had grabbed from the table.
She’d forgotten how blue his eyes were. Could he hear her heart beating? He must, it almost drowned their conversation. She kept her head down, her eyes fixed upon her task. ‘I’m fine. Thanks. And you? But this jacket is ruined, I’m afraid.’
‘That’s okay, it’ll clean. If I go and change it, you won’t run away again, will you?’
‘Er, we are in rather a hurry, I think. Charlie is showing me over...’ Wanting to say so much, and daring to say nothing.
‘Sure. That’s okay. Well, good to see you again. Carry on, airman.’
After he had gone, Charlie brought her another plate of stew although Kath had quite lost her appetite. How cool he had sounded, how matter-of-fact. Giving no indication about how he felt. Kath couldn’t even tell whether he was pleased to see her or not. Drat those pips on his shoulder.
Charlie was, of course, agog. ‘You know old Wadeson?’
‘I used to drive him places, that’s all.’ To a quiet patch of woodland where he could kiss me, she might have said, but didn’t.
`He’s well liked around here. Decent sort of bloke. Don’t you think?’
‘Hm.’
‘His wife is lovely too.’
Something inside Kath crumpled and died. ‘Wife?’
‘She came here once, on a visit. Didn’t stay long though. She was a real smart lady.’
‘I see.’ No, she didn’t. She didn’t see at all. Wade had made no mention of a wife. The rotten cheat! Red hot fury gushed through her veins. What else should she have expected? Men didn’t change, did they? The world was full of Jacks. ‘Are you going to show me where you are going to be working?’ she asked, with brittle brightness.
‘Sure thing.’ Charlie pushed aside his empty plate and led her outside, along the cinder path to the airfield. ‘You’ve gone quite white, sure you’re up to it? You should have eaten the stew, it wasn’t that bad.’
‘Don’t worry about me. I’m up to whatever life can throw at me, Charlie. Lead the way.’
She might have guessed that he would be at her car, waiting for her. Charlie saw him first, leaning against the vehicle, arms folded, as if he’d wait all day if necessary. Charlie stopped.
‘I’ll say goodbye here, shall I? Don’t want to get another sock in the jaw, or another spell in the glasshouse. He’s out of my league.’ Charlie’s eyes told her he thought Wing Commander Wadeson out of her league as well, but he was too polite to say so. Kath wondered why she had the knack of latching on to other women’s men. She needn’t let it happen. Not again. The next guy she went out with, would be all her own. She wanted exclusive rights. Katherine Ellis was done with sharing.
Reaching up she put her cheek against Charlie’s and kissed him. ‘Take care.’
‘You too.’
‘Let me see you again before they post you off to some other Godforsaken place.’
‘Yeah. That would be fun.’
‘And do me a favour, will you? When you write to Meg, don’t tell her that you saw me.’
‘For God’s sake . . .’
Kath put a hand to his lips. ‘I’ll try to explain some time, just a little. And I promise I will contact her myself, when the time is right. I do need to, for lots of reasons. But these very special reasons mean it must be me who does it, not you or anyone else. Promise?’
Charlie looked far from happy. ‘I suppose I’ll have to. Can’t I even say that you’re alive and well? Meg deserves a bit of good news. Your parents too. What about them?’
Kath blinked away a sudden rush of tears. After a long silence she nodded. ‘All right, you can say that you’ve seen me, that I’m in the WAAF. But don’t say where. No details, not even a hint. I’ll take it from there when I’ve worked some stuff out in my mind. When I’m ready. All right?’
‘I don’t know what’s going on and maybe it’s none of my business but so long as you play fair with Meg, that’s all right by me.’
‘I owe Meg a lot. No one knows that better than me. But our relationship is somewhat confused at present.’
Charlie glanced across at the Jeep. ‘I think your commander is getting a bit impatient.’
Kath smiled and wrinkled her nose with a hint of the old mischief. ‘Do him good to cool his heels for a bit.’ She tugged her jacket into place and straightened her tie. ‘Wife indeed.’ And turning smartly on her heel, she strolled towards her vehicle, hearing Charlie’s soft chuckle as she went.
So, Wing Commander, this is a surprise.’
Kath stood before him, attempting nonchalance while her heartbeat pounded in her ears. She knew she looked good. A neat trim figure in her blue uniform. Hair smartly brushed up beneath her cap, tie knotted in the correct fashion, the buttons on her tunic palely glowing from many hours of polishing.
‘’ Katherine. Life seems to have treated you well.’ His eyes moved to the two stripes halfway down her arm.
‘Yes,’ she said coolly. ‘Hard work brings its own rewards they say.’ Meg would love me for that, she thought, smiling at the thought. ‘Seems to have made you happy.’
Why did he look so uncomfortable? Probably embarrassed by the recollection of their little flirtation, hardly worthy of the title affair. Kath sat on the driver’s seat and swung her legs inside, the skirt ricking up slightly as she did so. To her great astonishment Wade groaned.
‘That was what did for me in the first place,’ he said.
‘What?’
‘The sight of those lovely long legs swinging in and out of that staff car. Oh boy, Katherine, you’re even more beautiful than I remember.’
Unable to help herself, Kath burst out laughing. Wade leaned on the windscreen and grinned at her.
‘Did you forget me?’ he asked.
‘As a matter of fact, I didn’t.’ She glanced at him from beneath her lashes. ‘Why did you never tell me you were married?’
‘Who’s been talking?’
Kath started the engine.
‘Okay, I won’t ask. My marriage with Donna was over long since. I should have told you, only I’d every intention of getting a divorce.’
‘But she came over here to see you, to try to win you back?’
Wade gave a sceptical smile. ‘She’s a wily gal. Didn’t like the thought of losing all that lovely real estate we own. She came to do a deal personally, where her lawyers had failed.’
‘Presumably she succeeded?’
‘Sure. I gave her most of what she wanted. After she’d come all that way, how could I refuse? I’d fallen for and lost you by that time and was pretty mixed up. What did property matter? I thought.’
‘You’re still married to her?’
‘Only temporarily. The divorce is going through any time now.’
Kath met his gaze coolly. ‘It seems to be a slow business.’
‘You can say that again.’
‘She may think of other delaying tactics.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘That could be her aim, couldn’t it? If she keeps the discussions going long enough, the war will be over and you’ll be home.’ Kath hated the sour note in her own voice but somehow she couldn’t seem to help herself. Jack had promised to finish with Meg, but he hadn’t, had he? ‘Maybe then she can change your mind.’
‘She means nothing to me. It’s you I want. You know that, honey.’ Kath’s lips moved into a smile but it didn’t reach her eyes. ‘Now where have I heard that before? Goodbye, Wade. It was nice knowing you.’
She drove off, leaving him standing alone on the parade ground.
Meg was clearing out Joe’s old room when the letter from Charlie came. She’d tucked it into her overall pocket at breakfast, thankful just to see his handwriting, proving he was well. She meant to bottom this room properly and give it a thorough cleaning. Then she’d read the letter over her morning tea. Soon it would be Hogg Day again, then the lambing, and she wouldn’t have a minute.
‘What are you doing?’ Sally Ann asked as she discovered Meg, broom in hand, rolling up the bedroom carpet.
Meg giggled. ‘Not like me is it? To be so domestic. Partly therapeutic. I need to establish in my mind that I’m staying here, that Ashlea is again my home. For the time being anyway.’
Sally Ann offered a sympathetic smile. ‘I can understand it must be difficult for you. Make your mark then. Put some of your own things in here if it makes you feel better.’
‘It seems wrong. This house is yours now. Yours and your children’s. I’m the outsider, the interloper, and I’ve no wish to take it from you. I want you to know that.’
‘I do. But you know very well that I couldn’t manage Ashlea without you. What would I do with a farm?’
Meg gave a wry smile. ‘At least you like cows, which was more than Effie did, and she managed.’
Dear Effie.
‘So I thought if I stopped living in that cramped little loft bedroom, I might feel as if I belonged.’
‘And Tam can share it with you. Good idea.’
Meg flushed. ‘Is it so obvious?’
Sally Ann hugged her close. ‘You love him. Why don’t you marry him? You can’t go on feeling guilty about Jack. He might never come home.’
‘Don’t ask, Sal. It’s too complicated. I’ve got so used to waiting I don’t think I’m capable of making a decision any more. When the war is over, we’ll sort it all out. For now I would just like Tam with me, and to hell with what Father says.’
Sally Ann shrugged. ‘He thinks you’re immoral anyway. Come and read your letter. Tea’s brewed.’
Meg read it in stunned silence, her whole body tightening into rigid tension. It was not at all what she had been expecting.
Sally Ann, seeing her reaction, paled visibly. ‘What is it? What’s happened? Not Charlie. Oh no, please, not Charlie.’ She pulled Daniel on to her lap as if for protection.
‘No, no. Don’t panic,’ Meg hastily reassured her. ‘This isn’t bad news.’ At least she hoped not. ‘This is news about Kath.’
‘Kath?’
‘Yes. She’s all right. In fact, she’s more than all right.’ Meg started to relax. There was nothing in the letter about Lissa. Not a word to ask how she was even. Perversely, that irritated her for all it brought relief. ‘She’s a corporal in the WAAF, would you believe? Charlie says he met her in East Anglia and she’s fine and well, though he’s not sure exactly where she’s stationed.’
Sally Ann clapped her hands in delight and Daniel joined in, gurgling with pleasure, thinking it a new game. Lissa and Nicky came rushing into the kitchen to see what all the commotion was about and Lissa, catching sight of the letter, reached out to grab it.
‘Me look,’ she demanded, and flushing with confusion as if guilty of some crime, as if the child could actually read her life story in it, Meg folded it quickly and tucked it into her pocket. ‘No, darling. It’s a letter for me, not you.’
‘Would you credit it?’ Sally Ann was saying. ‘After all this time. Why has she never contacted us?’
Meg shook her head, lifting the protesting Lissa on to her knee to hide her own flushed face. ‘Who can say?’ She had told Sally Ann nothing about Lissa’s parentage and did not feel now was the right moment. It had been a secret shared only with Tam and Effie. And Jeffrey Ellis had guessed, of course. Meg felt numb inside, any pleasure she might have felt at her friend’s well-being overshadowed by old doubts and new fears.
‘With that girl I could believe anything,’ Sally Ann said. ‘But a Waaf? That doesn’t sound like Kath’s sort of thing at all.’
‘No it doesn’t. Not the Kath I knew. But I suppose everyone comes to terms with reality and responsibilities some time in life, even Katherine Ellis, particularly when there’s a war on.’
‘Oh, but it is good news,’ Sally Ann repeated. ‘You must hurry round to see Jeffrey and Rosemary Ellis. They’ll want to know right away. I’ll finish the room for you.’
‘Yes,’ said Meg slowly. ‘I suppose I’d better.’
‘You don’t sound too excited about it?’ Sally Ann asked , a frown marring her own delight.
Meg swallowed. ‘Oh I am. I’m pleased that she’s safe and well. Just a bit startled that’s all, hearing about her out of the blue.’
‘Maybe she’ll write herself now.’
‘I dare say she will.’ And ask for Lissa? Oh, dear Lord, please don’t let her do that.
Chapter Thirteen
1944
‘Have I got a daddy?’ Lissa’s great pansy eyes gazed up trustingly into Meg’s.
Meg shook out the tea cloth she was holding and hung it carefully on the line to dry, while she gave herself time to think.
‘Of course you have a daddy. Everybody has a daddy, sweetheart.’
‘Where is my daddy then?’
Today was Lissa’s fourth birthday and she had already amply demonstrated she was an individual with a mind of her own. And judging by the firm set of her small, pointed chin, she did not intend to be fobbed off with platitudes on this occasion either.
Lissa’s birthdays were growing easier. There had been a time when Meg hadn’t wanted to remember that day when she had gone to find Kath in Liverpool and found a web of deceit instead. Betrayal, where she had looked for friendship and love.
In time she had come to accept this. But since the arrival of Charlie’s letter she had hardly known a moment’s peace. Inside she felt cold with fear. It was impossible now to wish that she’d never let he
rself come to love Lissa. She was a child after all, needing love, and Meg hadn’t been able to help herself in the end. Only it made the thought of losing her all the more painful. How would she bear it?
‘Well,’ she began. ‘The thing is, it’s the war, do you see?’ She hunkered down to the child’s level and gathered her in her arms. Lissa smelled sweet, of soap from her morning bath and fresh spring air.
‘During a war, men must go away to fight. They do this because they feel it is the right way to protect their loved ones. And so your daddy has gone to fight for his King and country, along with all the other daddies.’
‘To fight for me?’
Meg swallowed. ‘Yes, darling. And for you.’
‘Will he come back?’
There seemed little point in lying. Everyone had to be grown up in wartime, even children. ‘We hope that he will, one day. But we haven’t heard from him in a long while. If he doesn’t, it won’t be his fault, or yours. Not all the men who go away to fight manage to get back home. Something might stop them - another soldier from another army, another country, or an accident at sea.’
Was it right to be so blunt with her? Meg didn’t know. But Lissa was bright and intelligent and it seemed wrong to let her go on in ignorance. As if there would be a fairytale ending.
‘Will my mummy come home too when the war is finished?’
‘She might. You remember how I explained, Lissa, that we aren’t too sure where your mummy is right now?’
‘Is she looking for me?’
‘No. She knows you are safe with me. That’s what she wanted. For me to look after you until...’ Meg swallowed and blinked very hard. ‘Until she is able to do it herself.’
Lissa considered this very gravely. ‘You’re not my mummy, are you?’
‘No,’ Meg answered quietly, gathering her close. ‘But I feel as if I am. I’m your second mummy. Not every little girl has two. See how lucky you are.’
‘What does my daddy look like?’
This was easy. ‘He looks just like you, sweetheart. The same heart-shaped face, the same curly black hair, the same naughty eyes.’
Lissa giggled, and, apparently satisfied with Meg’s answers, moved on to other things, as children do. ‘Can I go and play with Hetty this afternoon? She promised I could help her make dough babies.’
Storm Clouds Over Broombank Page 18
