by Lucy Gordon
‘I couldn’t put off the moment when we were together. I’ve been so afraid you’d miss that plane too.’
And he had been, she could see. Behind the steel visor he showed the world was a face that could show doubt and suffering so readily that he kept it hidden.
Except to her.
‘I was afraid as well,’ she said. ‘I didn’t really think I’d find you here. But you are, and now everything’s all right.’
‘Yes,’ he said, ‘everything’s all right. And it always will be—as long as you’re with me.’
He put his arm around her and drew her to the exit while a man in a chauffeur’s uniform carried her bags. Once in the car he pulled her fiercely against him, refusing to let her go until they reached the hotel.
There he waited patiently while she checked in, then came up in the elevator with her. Now everything about him seemed quiet and controlled, yet the air seemed to vibrate with intensity.
Suddenly he turned and she almost gasped at the burning look in his eyes. Then it was gone. The doors opened, he was leading her to her room, opening the door, dismissing the porter.
As soon as they were alone he sat her down in a chair and pulled back the covers on the bed. Now she was only vaguely aware of his actions. Time lag and the long, extended journey were catching up with her, forcing her to sleep, despite efforts to stay awake. Here she was, alone in a bedroom with Leonid. His fingers were fumbling at her buttons. This had happened before, within a few minutes of their first meeting. Then he’d removed only a little clothing, but now he was going deeper and the next move was inevitable. He would take her to bed and they would make love.
One by one her clothes vanished until she wore only a slip and panties. With tender hands he drew the slip over her head, then picked her up and laid her in the bed.
Half awake, she waited for the feel of his hands caressing her flesh in many places, but he only drew the covers up to her chin, dropped a kiss on her forehead and sat on the edge of the bed, watching her with possessive eyes.
‘Leonid,’ she said woozily.
‘Hush now. Time to sleep.’
She wanted to argue but the clouds were engulfing her brain, drawing her irresistibly into another place.
He leaned close enough to whisper in her ear.
‘Can you hear me? No, I’m sure you can’t. Or maybe you’re just too clever to tell me. I know how clever you can be. I should be more wary, shouldn’t I? But I don’t want to be wary of you. I want to be close to you. I want to hold you against my heart, and be held against yours.
‘Can you understand why I couldn’t make love to you? It’s because I want to so much. Far too much to seize this moment when you’re not really yourself. If I took advantage of you now it would mean nothing. Certainly nothing to you, and how could it mean anything to me, knowing that you were oblivious?
‘If—when—we make love, it must be something we share, and remember together, not me grasping what I can get and you unable to remember anything. But I can be patient, for I know our time will come. I don’t know when or how it will come, but I see two figures standing on the road ahead. They are gazing joyfully at each other because they have reached the place where they belong. Who are they? Why, they are us, of course.’
He brushed his lips against her mouth.
‘Goodnight,’ he whispered. ‘Until tomorrow.’
He released her and retreated slowly, going through the door backwards, his eyes fixed on her until the last moment.
Perdita heard the soft noise of the door closing, and snuggled down in bed. She was smiling.
CHAPTER SIX
WHEN SHE AWOKE she lay trying to decide which of her thoughts were memories and which fantasies. One thing she knew. Leonid had removed her clothes until she was almost naked, but had stopped there. He could have done anything, knowing that she couldn’t prevent him. But he had resisted temptation.
Unless there had been no temptation. Had he found her so easy to resist?
She seemed to hear his voice speaking in her mind.
‘If—when—we make love, it must be something we share.’
Had he said those words? Had he meant them? Confused by longing, she lay reliving the precious moments. Or perhaps only imagining them? She would know soon. The answer would be in his eyes when they met today.
Turning her head on the pillow, she saw him sitting there.
‘Hello,’ he said.
‘Hello.’
She tried to understand what she saw in his eyes, but was baffled. They were tender but mysterious. She wanted to know more. She wanted to know everything.
‘Did I imagine what happened?’ she asked.
‘No. You were dead on your feet and you needed sleep desperately.’
‘Was that…all that happened?’
‘Yes,’ he said, understanding her at once. ‘When we take things further it’s got to be something we both want.’
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘Yes.’ She rubbed her eyes. ‘Oh dear, I don’t know where I am, what I’m doing or anything that’s happening. Have I slept long?’
‘Yes, it’s nearly midday.’
‘Are the rest of the family here?’
‘Not yet, but soon. Travis lives in Los Angeles so he won’t be staying in this hotel. Marcel will be here later today, so will Darius and Jackson.’
‘And your father?’
‘He’s coming. He wouldn’t miss it for anything. He used to look down on Travis as “only an actor”, but now he’s reaching the big time, Father is impressed.’
‘That must make Travis very happy.’
‘It means the world to him. Let me get you something to eat.’
While they waited for the food she went into the bathroom to shower. Her heart was singing.
As they settled down to eat he said, ‘I have to admit it. I’ve missed you so much it scared me. I told myself I had work to do.’
‘And I was spoiling your concentration, huh?’
‘Definitely. I tried to put you out of my mind but—you won’t leave.’
‘No, I’m an awkward character. I always was.’
‘Me too. Everybody says so.’
‘I’ll second that,’ she said lightly. ‘But I appreciate that to you I’m just a nuisance. I can go away if you prefer.’
He laid his hand over her wrist with a touch that was gentle yet unbreakable.
‘Don’t even think of it,’ he said. ‘I’m not letting you go.’
‘So I’m your prisoner?’
‘You’d better believe it.’
Their eyes met and she knew that despite his assertive words it was she who was the stronger. This stern man was not in control, although he would die before admitting it.
‘Then I won’t argue,’ she said lightly, touching his cheek.
He smiled and released her.
Again she had the mysterious sense of having landed in a universe where nothing was familiar. In one sense she had known this man for several weeks, but all but three days had been spent apart, communicating at a distance. So how well could she really know him?
And yet she felt she could see the depths of his heart.
‘How is your mother?’ she asked.
‘Well. Happy, thanks to you. The letter—well, I told you, didn’t I? It pleased her, just as you said it would. She was so happy that he seemed to remember that night. She didn’t remember telling me about it, so she thinks the memory comes from him.’
‘And you didn’t tell her the truth?’
‘No, I didn’t tell her. It would have been cruel. You were right about that. You were right about everything.’
He took her hand again, holding it gently between his own. His eyes, too, were gentle, sending her a silent message. He’d lived in her heart ever since their parting. Now she knew that she had lived in his heart, and his own efforts to banish her had been equally hopeless.
She had a sudden sense that Leonid was on the verge of saying something, like a man stand
ing on the edge of a cliff, trying to find the nerve to jump. But almost at once she sensed him stepping back, delaying the crucial moment.
‘How did you manage to miss the plane?’ he asked with a casual air.
‘Work demands descended on me without warning,’ she said. ‘A book I’m writing needed some extra material.’
‘You write books?’ He looked up quickly.
‘Sometimes,’ she said, choosing her words carefully. ‘Have you heard of Lily Folles?’
‘She’s a big film star, isn’t she?’
‘That’s right. She’s writing her autobiography. At least, officially she’s writing it. Actually I’m doing the writing bit. We talk, I set it down, she signs it.’
Under the table she was crossing her fingers. This was her chance to acquaint him with the respectable side of her work, and she was seizing every moment.
‘How did you get the job?’ he asked.
‘I heard that she was looking for someone, I applied. We got along well, and she hired me.’
‘Naturally impressed by your stunning talents as a writer.’
‘Actually I don’t think it was that at all.’ She dropped Her voice to a tone of conspiracy. ‘When we had lunch—’ she looked over her shoulders on each side before saying theatrically, ‘I laughed at her jokes.’
‘Oh well, that settled it!’
‘I’ve done several interviews for the book, but she wanted an extra one yesterday. I squeezed it in, and it just went on and on. I couldn’t make her stop, and by the time I got away it was too late for the plane.’
‘Well, you’re here,’ he said. ‘That’s what matters.’
She had a sense of triumph at having drawn him closer to the reality of her career. He knew now that she was a writer with show business connections, but in a more respectable way than her old self. And since that self was being sidelined she felt she was bringing things under control. Problem solved.
‘I expect you’re wondering how I got into your room this morning,’ Leonid said.
She was taken aback. It hadn’t occurred to her to wonder. It had seemed so natural.
‘The fact is I bribed the porter,’ he admitted. ‘My room is next door, but I wanted to be able to get in and out in case you needed me. I looked in several times, but I didn’t awaken you. You were sleeping like a baby.’
‘Well, I’m all the better for it,’ she said. ‘Refreshed and ready for anything.’
‘Anything?’ he asked, without looking at her.
‘Anything,’ she assured him.
Now he turned his gaze on her, and there was something in his eyes that she’d longed to see—warmth, brilliance, hope and, above all, intent. It was that intent most of all that made her heart beat faster as he reached for her.
‘Leonid! Leonid, are you there?’
The cry came from the corridor, repeated again and again by several voices.
‘Oh no!’ Leonid groaned. ‘If ever I was sorry to have brothers—Grr!’
From outside came the sound of pounding on a door.
‘That’s my room,’ he said. ‘I’d better stop them before they get us all thrown out.’ He went and opened the door, yelling, ‘All right! That’s enough!’
Perdita heard yells of delight. Following him out, she saw Darius, Jackson and Marcel. They remembered her from Paris and greeted her joyously.
‘We just got here,’ Darius said. ‘They said you were upstairs, so here we are.’
Harriet appeared, embracing Perdita and saying, ‘Let’s all go for a coffee.’
On the way down, Perdita said, ‘Any sign of Travis?’
‘No, I’ve been trying to call him,’ Jackson said. ‘I’m a bit concerned. He doesn’t answer the landline and his cellphone is switched off.’
But then his own phone rang. He answered it and they all saw his expression change to one of outrage.
‘You’re where? Why? Well, I’m sorry for Charlene, but—Travis, wait—hang on a minute!’
He addressed the others.
‘He’s gone mad. Charlene has to dash back to England to see her sick grandmother, and he’s taking her to the airport.’
‘Will he return here in time?’ Marcel demanded.
‘He will if he comes right back,’ Jackson said tensely. ‘Travis, listen to me, you can’t seriously mean to go to England—Travis—Travis—he’s hung up.’
‘But he’ll hurry back,’ Marcel said.
Perdita found her mind dancing back to Paris when she’d seen Travis and Charlene together, and had known by instinct that they were united by true love. She would have found it hard to say exactly how she knew, but the journalist part of her mind had watched them knowingly, observing things that others would never have noticed.
‘He’ll be back,’ Marcel repeated. ‘He’s not going to miss tonight.’
‘Yes, he will,’ Perdita said suddenly. ‘He’ll miss it for Charlene. You don’t think he’ll let her go alone, do you? He loves her too much for that.’
They all turned to stare at her.
‘Enough to miss the biggest night of his career?’ Jackson queried.
‘Enough even for that,’ Perdita said.
‘But he just said he was taking her to the airport,’ Jackson pointed out. ‘He didn’t say anything about going with her.’
‘Maybe he hasn’t told Charlene that he’s going to sacrifice himself for her,’ Perdita said. ‘Otherwise she might decide to sacrifice herself for him. Isn’t that what people do when they’re in love?’
‘But—the awards,’ Jackson said. ‘Tonight means the world to him.’
‘No,’ Perdita said. ‘Charlene means the world to him. You’ve only got to watch them together to see the truth.’
She strolled slowly away and went out to sit in the sun, knowing that Leonid would follow her.
‘You really mean that?’ he said, coming to sit beside her.
‘He won’t let her down, no matter what it costs him. I guess you think he’s crazy?’
‘No, I’d understand if that’s what he does. But I don’t think he will.’
‘We’ll just have to wait and see.’
‘Hey, you two!’
They looked up to see Darius hurrying out of the building.
‘Travis has called again, this time to say he won’t be here tonight,’ he gasped. ‘He’s just about to board the plane with Charlene.’ He turned to Perdita. ‘You were right all the time.’
‘Yes, she was,’ Leonid murmured.
‘I’ve told him I’ll explain to the others, including Father, when he arrives.’
‘I think he’s here now,’ Leonid said, and they looked up to see Amos storming towards them, followed by Marcel and Jackson.
‘Is this true?’ he shouted. ‘What Jackson’s just told me—that Travis won’t be here tonight?’
‘Charlene has to go to England,’ Leonid said. ‘And he has to go with her.’
‘Of course he doesn’t have to. It’s not his problem.’
‘He loves her,’ Perdita said simply. ‘If he lets her down, and loses her, that will be his problem, a big one that he’ll never recover from.’
‘Sentimental twaddle!’ Amos snapped. ‘No woman is that important.’
He’d been drinking or he wouldn’t have spoken so in front of his sons. To Perdita’s eyes, the looks the young men exchanged spoke volumes. They knew what kind of a man their father was, and they understood the need for them to be in alliance, if necessary, against him.
‘You don’t mean that,’ Darius said coldly.
Amos scowled but, before he could say anything, his own cellphone rang. It soon became clear that it was Travis, calling from the airport, where he was about to board the plane.
‘Have you gone mad?’ Amos shouted into the phone.
Faintly they could make out Travis’s voice at the other end, but his words only increased Amos’s temper.
‘You’ve insulted me. What kind of a fool do I look now, turning up to see you wi
n prizes and you can’t be bothered to be here? I’m telling you, no woman is worth it—’
There was a click. Amos stared at the phone, trying to believe what had happened.
‘He hung up on me! Can you believe that? He’s worked long and hard to get this far and now he’ll throw it away to please a girl.’
‘But he need not be throwing it away,’ Perdita said.
‘Of course he is,’ Amos snapped. ‘If he doesn’t turn up everyone will be insulted.’
‘Not when they know why,’ she persisted. ‘Present it to the audience in the right way and he’ll be a romantic hero, a man generous enough to put his love first and himself second. His standing will soar.’
‘You’re right,’ Jackson said. ‘Listen to her, everyone. She knows what she’s talking about.’
Perdita stole a glance at Leonid. He didn’t speak, but he nodded and smiled.
‘We’d better go and prepare for whatever the night will bring,’ Jackson said. ‘Disaster or triumph.’
Leonid came upstairs with her.
‘You’re not as surprised as the rest of us,’ he said. ‘How did you know? Are you psychic?’
‘Maybe. It was just something I sensed about them right from the start. Whenever he held her left hand he’d look down and stroke the ring finger as though he had marriage in mind. Apart from that, it was just there in the way they smiled at each other. If the love is real, you can’t hide it.’
‘You know, sometimes you’re actually a bit scary,’ he said. ‘The way you can look into people’s hearts and know what they’re thinking and feeling.’
‘Only some people,’ she told him. ‘Others are good at hiding it—if they want to be.’
He coloured slightly. ‘Sometimes you have to be.’
She nodded. ‘That’s true. Perhaps we should go and get ready now. It’ll soon be time for the awards.’
*
When the great moment came, it was as Perdita had predicted. The Master of Ceremonies announced that Travis couldn’t be with them and explained why, and the applause was deafening. It was even more enthusiastic when he actually won one of the four prizes for which he’d been nominated.
‘If only he could have been here to collect it,’ Jackson mourned at the family party afterwards. ‘How can he bear to lose that moment?’
