by Aria Grace
A nurse grabs my arm. “Are you the father?”
“Yes.”
“Please come with me. We need some information.” She pulls me inside the hospital and to a customer service desk where a young man hands me a clipboard with papers attached.
“Can I get you to complete these for me?”
I nod almost as if in a trance and take the papers from him. “You can have a seat over there. Just let me know when you’re finished.” He points toward a large waiting are where several people are already grouped around. Some look as though they are in pain while others are crying, obviously distraught by whatever situation they or a family member, or heck even friend for that matter are going through.
I take a seat and try to focus on the papers in front of me. Taking the pen in my hand, I try to fill in the empty lines. It’s not until I see the dried blood that covers my hands that the emotional toll on my body and soul floods over me and I begin to weep. Weep at the thought of losing my mate. Weep at the prospect of raising our beautiful baby alone. Weep at the loss of a life I’ve come to love.
Unsure of what to do, I think of the one thing that can help. I pull out my phone and text Matt, letting him know what’s happened at that we are at the ER. Not a minute passes before he responds. On my way.
Thank god for him, because I don’t know if I can do this without someone at my side. I’m supposed to be the big, strong alpha that takes care of my own, but without Andy at my side, I’m nothing. I’m at a loss as to how to function without knowing he’s going to be okay.
When Matt arrives, he pulls me into a hug. “I’m so sorry that this is happening. Do you know anything yet?”
I shake my head, tears streaming down my face. “I can’t even fill out this,” I say, showing him the clipboard full of papers.
“We can get it done. Don’t worry.” Matt takes the stack from me and helps me work through the information I know. When we finish, he takes the information to the man at the desk. He comes back shortly and sits next to me.
“The guy at the desk said he doesn’t know anything, but the doctors will come out when they have some information.”
“Thank you.” I know my voice sounds weak, but Matt simply nods.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
Time ticks by slowly as we wait to hear something…anything. But nothing comes. My heart is in my throat, constricting it tighter each second that passes without hearing what’s going on with my mate and my baby.
I’m not sure how much time has actually passed when I hear my name. “Mr. Taylor.”
Jumping up from my seat, I step over to the woman who has called my name. “I’m Jude Taylor.”
“Mr. Taylor, I’m Gwen Stevens, the prenatal doctor who was helping with your son.”
“Is he okay?” Tears threaten to spill again as I await the outcome of our child.
“He’s stable right now, but I hate to say we have a long road ahead of us. He’s about twenty-four weeks right now, which is extremely premature. We have him in an incubator and will maintain a close eye on his vitals. The next several weeks will be vital.”
“Thank you.” Joy overwhelms me that he didn’t die…that what I tried to do didn’t cause further injury.
“You’re welcome. But prepare yourself. We aren’t out of the woods yet.”
Matt places an arm around my shoulder and gives it a squeeze. “Any word on Andy?” he asks.
“I’ll find someone on his detail to come and give you an update.”
“Thank you, doctor,” Matt says. He guides me back to our chairs and we sit.
Another hour passes before my name is called again. This time, from a gentleman. I look up and raise a hand. “That’s me.” I try to stand, but the man waves a hand.
“No, please. Stay seated.”
This can’t be good.
“I’m Dr. Marks, one of the surgeons assisting on Andy’s case. I’m sorry you’ve had to wait out here for so long without any news.”
My stomach sinks again as I prepare for the worst.
“Andy suffered from preeclampsia. We also found bruising on his back and side, which we believe occurred during his fall.”
“Is the preeclampsia what’s taking so long to fix?”
“Unfortunately, when Andy fell, he ruptured his spleen. We had to go in and do emergency surgery. He had lost a lot of blood. You’re lucky you called for help when you did.”
“But he’ll be alright?” Matt is able to ask the questions that I can’t seem to formulate with the barrage of information coming at me. “When can Jude see him?”
“He should be just fine. We’ve replenished his blood supply and the other surgeons are closing him now. He’ll need an hour or so of recovery before we move him to a room.”
“Thank you,” I say. Matt moves with me back to the chairs we’ve occupied for the past several hours as the doctor walks away. A few minutes later, a voice calls out to us again.
“Mr. Taylor?” A young female nurse stands in front of the waiting area. Matt and I stand, walking toward her. “Hi. I’m Shayna. How would you like to see your son?”
My eyes must light up because she smiles and motions for us to follow her. We walk through what seems to be a thousand hallways, turning corners here and there and taking an elevator to the fifth floor before finally landing in front of a large doorway. Shayna swipes her badge across a panel next to the door and a large click sounds as the door swings open.
We follow her into another waiting area where she turns toward us. “If you’ll each put on a gown over your clothes and gloves, I’ll take you to the neonatal unit.” She points toward packs of sterile gloves and gowns in the corner of the room.
Matt and I react quickly, each putting on the required garments. Then, we follow Shayna through another set of double doors and into a dimly lit room full of enclosed baby beds. She steps over to one with the name Taylor on a small index card in the corner. Fresh tears come to my eyes as I look beyond the plastic enclosure at the tiny baby sleeping. He’s so tiny that I can see his ribs stretching his skin as he breaths.
But he’s ours. Mine and Andy’s. Our baby to love.
19
Andy
Trying to open my eyes proves difficult, especially when the light hits my pupils. I squeeze them shut tightly and emit a small cough.
“Andy?” I know that voice…don’t I? I try again to open my eyes, letting them adjust to the light above me.
“Bright…” I say. Soon after, the light dims and the voice I heard earlier speaks again. “Andy, baby? Can you hear me.”
The voice finally registers as I croak out his name. “Jude?”
“I’m here. Let me get you some water.”
A few seconds later, something is prodding at my lips, so I open them and let the straw in that Jude is guiding to my mouth. I take a light sip of the cool liquid before moving away from it, letting Jude know I’ve had enough. I cough again, which really hurts for some reason.
“Jude… Where am I?” My mind is fuzzy as I try to remember where I was before I woke up. Despite the headache pulsing across my forehead, my body feels sore and aches. Did I contract the flu and not realize it?
“You’re at St. Vincent’s, sweetheart. You had some problems, but the doctors have you fixed.”
Immediately, my hands reach for my stomach. “Oh god. Where’s my baby?” Moisture begins to pool and then drip down my face.
“Baby, it’s okay. Calm down.”
A panic sets in as I ask again. “Jude, where’s our baby? Oh god. What happened?”
“The baby is fine, or at least, he will be.”
Jude’s words have a calming effect on me. “Him?”
“Yes, sweetheart. It’s a boy. A beautiful, baby boy.”
“We have…a boy?” I’m barely able to speak the words as Jude clasps my hand in his and holds it alongside me.
“Yes. You gave birth to our baby. A beautiful boy.”
“Where is he?” I start
to sit up from my prone position, but Jude’s hands press gently against my chest.
“You’ll see him soon. Right now, you need to get better yourself. I need you well so you can help me take care of him.”
“I don’t understand.” I grab for my head, wishing the dull throb would go away.
“Baby.” Jude’s voice is soft, as though he’s trying to handle me with as much care as possible. “Do you remember anything from last night?”
The spinning in my head only amplifies the confusion I’m feeling. “I… I.”
“It’s okay. Don’t stress about it. That isn’t important anyway.”
The bed is uncomfortable, so I shift and try to relax a bit more. A knock on the door draws both of our attention as a man dressed in scrubs walks in holding a tray. “Dinner time.”
As if a wave crested on the shore, a flood of memories sweeps back over me. “Dinner. I was making you dinner.”
“That’s right.” Jude’s face lights up. “That’s good. It means the concussion you have isn’t severe.”
“What happened?” This time I look straight at Jude, pleading with him to tell me why I’m in this hospital bed and how my six-month-old baby came into this world. I listen as he tells me the story of what he knows. All I can do is lay in silence, practically in disbelief that we almost lost the baby. When Jude finally finishes, I see the exhaustion in his features.
“Baby,” I say, splaying my hand out for him to take. I still feel weak and can’t seem to lift my arm very far. “Thank you for saving us.”
“I didn’t do it for you or the baby…”
I gasp at his words. What is he saying? Am I hallucinating from the meds? That must be it, because the Jude I’ve grown to love would of course have done it for me and our baby.
With a smile and a wink in my direction, he finishes. “I did it for me. And I’m not ashamed that I did it to be completely selfish. But I’m not through with you or our baby yet. I want more time. Time to fall more deeply in love with you. Time to watch our son grow up into a strong man.” He stops and chortles. “Time to see us become grandfathers.” Then he becomes serious again.
“I didn’t do it for either of you, because I had to do it for me. It’s the only way I can survive, knowing I have you and our son by my side. Without the two of you, I’m nothing.”
A tear carves its way down the skin of my cheek as I look at the man who has stolen my heart. “I love you, Jude.”
“Not as much as I love you, my love.” He squeezes my hand again as my eyes fight to stay open. “Don’t fight it.” His soft words give me the okay to drift back into a light slumber. “Let your body heal.” Those are the last words I hear before finally giving into the darkness that is pulling me into my dreams.
“Are you ready?” Jude opens the door to the house and leads me outside. It’s early in the morning, but neither of us could sleep well the night before.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I reply, walking to the car as he unlocks it with the key fob he’s holding. After two and a half months of daily trips to the hospital, we finally get to bring our little Jeremy home from the hospital today. I won’t lie and say that the first few weeks weren’t tremulous. I was a nervous wreck any time one of the doctors said anything that didn’t sound encouraging.
But as the weeks went by, Jeremy became stronger. He even fattened up some after putting on a few pounds. Once the first month passed, the hospital staff seemed more optimistic about his chances, which made me feel much better. Now, we are getting to bring him home.
We arrive at the hospital and are greeted by name by the neonatal nurses. They motion us through to the area of the unit where Jeremy has been kept. Shayna is holding him next to his incubator. She smiles brightly as we approach. Holding out my arms, she places Jeremy into them. His tiny hand balls into a fist and makes its way around his face before sticking his thumb into his mouth and sucking.
“We haven’t even gotten him home and already have to break a bad habit.” Jude’s comment draws another huge grin from Shayna as she points a finger at him.
“I think the best part of that sentence is that he’s going home.” She winks before grabbing a diaper bag off the floor. “Here, this is from us.”
Damnit, just when I thought I couldn’t cry enough. “Thank you. You didn’t need to do that.”
Jude takes the bag and echoes my statement. “Really, you shouldn’t have.”
“We wanted too. It’s from all the nurses. Jeremy has been such a great baby. We’re going to miss him around here.” Shayna is almost in tears as she beams at us and rubs Jeremy’s forehead lightly with her fingertips.
“Yeah, make sure to bring him back around.” Another one of the nurses calls out from the other end of the unit.
“We will,” I assure them. “I don’t know how to thank you for all that you’ve done.” I look to all the nurses standing around the room.
“Thank us by making sure he’s taken care of,” Shayna says. “And make sure to get him to all of his checkups. That’s important for any baby, but especially for a preemie.”
“You have my word,” Jude says, moving in next to me and wrapping an arm around his family. “They will both be cared for very well.”
Shayna nods, knowing he’s telling the truth. We say our goodbyes again and head home with our baby boy. Finally, we feel like a complete family.
I carry the baby into the nursery once we get home. Matt and Jude worked so hard to make my Winnie the Pooh nursery come to life. Jude even went out and purchased to copies of the same books so that he could cut the pages and line them up as a border around the room. You can literally start at one end and read the whole book around the room.
Setting in the rocker with Jeremy, I begin to sway back and forth, holding my his tiny, blanket-wrapped frame in my arms. When I look up, Jude is leaning against the doorway, staring at the two of us.
“You know how happy you’ve made me?”
“He hasn’t started crying yet,” I tease.
“It doesn’t matter. His cry means he’s alive, and that’s the best sound I could ever hear right now.”
I chuckle again, knowing that although we haven’t hit a two o’clock feeding cry yet, Jude has every intention on being right there with me to help care for our son. He comes over and places a kiss on my cheek and then one on Jeremy’s forehead.
“How about I get some breakfast going?”
“Your famous breakfast?” I ask, remembering his crispy bacon and omelets.
“Anything for you.”
It’s not long before the smell of cooking eggs and delicious bacon waft into the baby’s room. I keep rocking, staring down at the sweet, innocent face of my sleeping child. “You’ll never know how lucky you are to have a dad like Jude,” I say in a soft whisper. “But I know one day you’ll be old enough to understand how lucky we both are.”
Jeremy shifts in my arms, stretching out his little hand and yawning before opening his eyes. Staring into those baby blues, I know everything is right in my world.
20
Jude
I walk out of the bathroom still toweling off the beads of moisture that remain from my shower. Andy is already laying in the bed, fully clothed.
“You okay?” I ask, playfully popping the towel in his direction.
“Yeah,” he replies groggily. “Just tired. God, having a baby is exhausting.”
I drop my towel onto the floor and kneel onto the bed. “You’re doing a great job with him, sweetheart. I couldn’t ask for a better husband to take care of our son.” I nuzzle next to him on the bed, but he tries to push me away.
“Don’t. I’m gross.”
“You’re not gross.” My statement is matter-of-fact, because it’s true.
“I’m still fat, and I’m sure I have baby spit-up on me somewhere in more than one place.”
I nuzzle his neck again, this time planting a kiss below his earlobe, which I know is his sweet spot. “You’ve never looked better
to me than you do right now.”
“Ugh, I’m disgusting. You obviously need your eyes checked.”
I grab his chin with my fingertips and guide his eyes to meet mine. “Andrew, you are even more beautiful now than you have ever been. You are the father of my son, and the rock in my life. There isn’t a day that goes by that you are not the gorgeous man I fell in love with, because,” I pause and place a finger on his chest, pointing toward his heart, “I fell in love with this. The way I feel about you… The way you excite me, that’s all just a bonus.”
His eyes changed from scrupulous to sensitive as his voice comes out in a raspy whisper. “You mean that?”
“With every fiber of my being.” I capture his lips in mine, letting our mouths meld in a passionate kiss. My tongue juts out and searches his lips, which he quickly parts, inviting me to explore within. When I’ve completed tasting and licking his mouth, I move my tongue down his chin and to his shirt, which I slowly begin to unbutton. Each one that releases exposes more skin, which my mouth is happy to explore.
I pull his shirt off enough to allow his swollen chest to fill my vision. One of his nipples has a small bead of milk that’s formed that I quickly lap up and then suck on his tit. A few drops of milk fill my mouth, causing me to moan in delight. My hard cock is pushing against the jeans Andy is wearing, which means they need to go. Now. I give up the luscious milk my mate is producing reluctantly and make my way down to his navel.
I kiss and lick at his stomach as my hands expertly unbutton his jeans, undo the zipper, and slide them and his underwear down to his ankles. I lean back, pulling them off his body completely, looking at the amazing man laying before me. His cock is hard, so I make quick work of planting myself between his legs and sucking the tip into my mouth.
Andy squirms as I plunge deep onto his pole, letting his cock fill my mouth and tickle the back of my throat. I drag my hands up either side of his legs and find his opening, which is already dripping wet and ready for me. Inserting a finger slowly into his hole causes Andy to moan and squirm beneath my touch. Making him feel pleasure is the best thing for me and gets me hard.
