“I might be single, but I’m trying really hard to give myself some time. I don’t want to be the girl who jumps from one boyfriend to another. I’m sorry I let things go too far the other night. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“You were hurting and you needed me. I shouldn’t have taken advantage of that,” Aidan said.
Allie snorted in amusement. “I promise, I was perfectly aware of what I was doing and at the time, it seemed like a really good idea.”
“Eh, you've wanted me since Agra.” He flashed his arrogant smile.
“We agreed to never talk about Agra.” Just the thought of that night had her face flushed scarlet. She’d made such a fool of herself.
Allie’s phone rattled on her nightstand and Aidan reached for it.
“Why is my brother calling you so late?” He scowled at her caller ID.
Allie rolled her eyes—it seemed the boy drama would never escape her.
“Hey, Dare,” she answered, cringing when her voice came out all breathy and teenagery.
“Hey, good, you’re still up. I have tickets to that concert in the flats this weekend.”
“Fink?” She grinned. “I’m so jealous!”
“You’re coming with me, killer. For your birthday.”
“Uh … like a date?” She really liked Darius, but she wasn’t about to stir up boy drama between the brothers.
“Hell, no. Allie, you’re like four.”
“Exactly.”
“Don’t worry, this is definitely a non-date between friends. You can tell little brother he can stop fuming now; I'm not going to steal you away from him.”
“Sure, man. You know she thinks you’re a creepy old dude, right?” Aidan said.
“I do not.” Allie gave Aidan a shove.
“Night, killer.”
“Night.”
It’s not a date, Aidan. She put her phone back on the bedside table. The tension he felt had shot right through her the moment she answered the phone. “Your brother is my friend and that is it. I cannot wrap my mortal brain around the idea that he's technically our age. It’s not exactly creepy, but it's definitely creepy-adjacent, so we’re friends who like the same music—end of story. Now can we please go to sleep?” She was excited about her non-date with Darius, but she knew Aidan expected her to be with him if she was going to be with anyone.
“Did I utter one word in protest?” He pulled her back against his chest and curled around her.
“No, but I know you don't like it. I love hanging out with Darius. We’re really good friends. I won’t insult you and say there isn’t some kind of weird flirty attraction there—but I would never act on it. I'm not going to be another Naomi, making her way through the McBrien boys, careless of their feelings.”
“I know, Lex. But to be totally honest, I don’t like the way you two look at each other. With Darius you’re more like your old self. Like the weight of everything you’ve been dealing with isn’t so heavy when he’s around.”
“I swear it’s not like that,” Allie insisted. It wasn’t remotely like that. They were just friends, but it was true she did feel more like herself with him.
“It took me a while to realize Vince was the guy you needed. And now he’s gone and … I don’t know, maybe I’m afraid Darius is the guy you need now.”
“That’s just it, Aidan.” She rolled over so she could see him, taking his face in her hands so she could make sure he really got it this time. She tried not to tremble when his arms snaked around her waist. “I don’t want to need any guy. I don’t want to be the girl who can’t figure her own shit out so she uses her boyfriend as a crutch to lift herself up.” She pressed her forehead against his. “I especially don’t want to be that girl with you. Maybe I’m afraid to be with you because I feel like I’m just going to weigh you down.”
“That’s bullshit. The way you see me—it’s not remotely accurate.”
“Right back atcha,” she whispered, her lips dangerously close to his as they breathed the same air, staring at each other. Her heart beat against his chest and she really wanted to throw all her fears aside and just kiss him.
“Nephew, if I have to throw you out of here one more time, it will be head first off this tower.” Liam stood on Allie’s balcony glaring at them both.
“Liam, I swear this isn't like Agra,” Aidan said. Since that night, Liam had developed a habit of checking up on Allie and routinely kicked Aidan out of her room.
“You're half naked in my sister’s bed and I’m pretty sure I’ve interrupted at just the right moment … again. I’d stop talking while you’re ahead.” He shot an icy glare at Aidan.
“Liam, I promise this isn’t—”
“Zip it, little one. Aidan, I’m certain you have a bed of your own to get to.”
“Fine. Between my brothers and uncles, I’m never going to get any sleep tonight anyway. Sorry about the night terrors, Lex. Just remember I’ll be suffering right along with you.” Aidan had clearly had enough; he was gone before she could protest.
“Night terrors?” Liam scowled.
“Yes, you big oaf! He sleeps here for a very good reason that has nothing to do with sex!” She threw her pillow at him.
“Trust me, that's all that's on his mind.”
“Liam, when I dream, it’s usually terrifying, whether I understand what I’m seeing or not. When I sleep with Aidan it’s like our telepathic minds merge when we're in the same sleep cycle. I don't know if it's an extension of his healing gift or what, but this is the only way we can actually sleep. When I see, it’s not restful sleep—for either of us. If it weren't for his help, I'm not sure I'd still be sane.”
“Of course he wants to help you, Allie. He gets to sleep with you.”
“It's not like that. It's not that simple.”
“He is seventeen years old, little one. It is that simple.” He folded his long arms across his chest.
“It doesn't even matter. It’s sleep with Aidan or no sleep at all.”
“I see.” His scowl grew deeper. “That is not a permanent solution.”
“We know. But it works. What else can we do?”
“Discuss this with your mentors like you both know you should. There must be a way for you to manage your dreams on your own.”
“It’s complicated, Liam. And it’s late. And apparently I have some dreaming to do.”
Her hands shook as she retrieved her pillow. She’d had dozens of disturbing dreams since they began months ago. They were always about fire and churning black smoke. A dark night filled with screams under a terrifying blood red moon. But she never understood what it meant. Her only reprieve was Aidan.
“You really are scared to go to sleep, aren’t you?” Liam’s anger subsided, now that it seemed he finally grasped the severity of the situation. “You’re shaking like a leaf.”
“Dreaming’s not fun. But I’m exhausted.” Allie settled back into her bed and pulled the covers up to her chin.
“I can stay here with you and wake you if it gets to be too much,” Liam offered.
“Sure. That’d be nice.” She rolled over and prepared for the onslaught. She didn’t have the heart to tell him he'd never be able to wake her.
Let him observe, Aidan said. Maybe he can help. He's right; this has never been a permanent solution.
Will you be okay? Allie hated her dreams, but she hated making him watch even more.
It's okay, Lex. Don’t worry about me.
“Relax, little one. Take deep breaths and close your eyes.” Liam’s voice was soft and soothing. He drifted into an old Norse song. His tenor voice sent waves of intoxicating peace through her and within moments she fell into a deep sleep.
~~~
Blackness engulfed Allie like the oppressive void she fought during her Awakening. Her breath grew labored as the familiar panic overwhelmed her. She drifted. But not aimlessly as if she had no body. She could sense the world around her. The rough wood of the small boat beneath her was little m
ore than a raft. The gentle rocking of the listless waves was much too peaceful for this ominous setting. The chill of the heavy mist spoke of something more sinister. The scrape of the marsh grass against her shoulders made her shiver.
Shapes began to emerge from the fog, and Allie realized she was adrift along the marshy bogs of Lake Erie, far away from the city. The world around her was an unnatural green, like the eerie light before a storm. The murky water was thick with the grass and muck that hid whatever creatures lurked in the bog below. The marshes stretched all around her in every direction. She couldn't even see the shoreline in the darkness.
Allie trembled in anticipation. Something churned in the water.
I have to get back to shore. She searched the small boat for an oar, anything she could use to paddle out of the bog and back home where the water was clear and nothing could harm her.
The boat was empty and the only way she could maneuver out of the swamp was to pull herself through the wet grass growing in thick patches along the surface of the water. She'd gone only a few feet when the lake erupted around her. Slithering bodies churned as far as she could see.
Snakes! She couldn't stand the sight of snakes and they were everywhere. Huge and black with shiny scales and empty, red eyes.
Pay attention to the important elements and discard everything else. The rest is just noise. This was the mantra she’d repeated to herself over and over since the cave dreams started months ago. It was just noise, but she had to decipher what her gift was trying to tell her amidst all the chaos.
Allie screamed as the huge snakes swarmed the boat, writhing around each other and sending her into the frigid water. All sense faded from her mind as she panicked. She felt their bites—their venomous fangs; the slither of their bodies as they pulled her under.
There are no poisonous snakes in Lake Erie. This is just a dream. But the water filling her lungs was real. The pain of the long fangs sinking into her flesh was real. The burn of the venom in her veins was like acid and the feel of their cold, scaly bodies constricting around her as they dragged her to the bottom of the lake was much too real.
~~~
CHAPTER
THIRTEEN
Allie woke gasping for air, fighting with the blankets and sheets wrapped around her.
“Calm down, little one. I am here.” Liam's voice pulled her out of her nightmare.
Her heart raced and her vision blurred so everything she saw still had the stormy green tinge of her dream. She shook her head to clear her mind and thought she was going to be sick. She could still feel the snakes twisting around her.
“It's okay. Just breathe.” Liam's fingers combed through her damp hair. He sat on the bed beside her, propped against the headboard. Her head rested on his lap and his arm draped protectively around her.
Snakes. Anything but snakes, Aidan whispered.
Cheers to that. Allie took another shaky breath. You okay?
I'm fine, baby.
Try to get some sleep.
“I see now why you prefer not to face your dreams,” Liam said. “You did not sufficiently prepare me for that.”
“You think?” She sat up, rubbing her eyes until everything returned to its normal color. “I'm guessing you couldn't wake me, then?” She reached for the bottled water beside her bed, feeling like something the dog threw up.
“I didn't try. And that was not an easy thing to do. Letting you scream with no sound, thrashing around like someone was trying to murder you. Damn near killed me just watching. But I won't coddle you the way Aidan does.”
“He doesn't coddle me.”
“I know he can't help but want to comfort you after seeing that, especially given his front-row seat in your mind.” Liam tapped her forehead. “But you're letting a man take care of you, sweetheart. And no sister of mine is going to let a man protect her when she has the strength to protect herself. You have to learn to live with your dreams and function on your own so when he can't be here for you, you won't fall apart. I don't want to see you tethered to him like this, unable to last a week without Aidan by your side. Not that he isn't worthy or that he doesn't care for you.”
“Oh my God. You're right. I never thought about it like that. Ugh!” The temptation to avoid her dreams was strong, but after she’d just told Aidan she didn’t want to be that girl, especially with him, Liam held up the mirror and showed her that was exactly what she was.
“There's nothing wrong with seeking a peaceful night with him every now and then, as much as I hate to admit it. I just don't want you to need it. You’re stagnant right now. You are not learning what your gift is trying to teach you. What you’re doing … it’s just putting a Band-Aid on an open wound. I think you’ve spent so much time trying to avoid your dreams, that they're just piling up, like spam email in a junk folder. Then when you do dream, they are terrifying because they’re trying to get your attention. I’m hoping if we give your dreams the focus they need, they will no longer be quite so frightening and we may actually be able to figure out what they mean.”
“We?” Allie glanced up at him.
“Of course. I’m going to help you with this, little one.”
“Any ideas how I could possibly handle this on my own?” A surge of hope filled her. This was something she had never felt comfortable talking about with Gregg or Emma, but with her brother, it didn’t feel awkward at all.
“For starters, you are going to put your big-girl pants on and face your dreams. It may take a few more nights of observation, but I’m going to help you sort this out. Now, tell me what you saw, before you forget.”
“I won't be forgetting that anytime soon. It was snakes. Every-freaking-where.” She shivered.
“Well, that makes a lot more sense,” he muttered. “Has Aidan ever told you how active you are when you dream?”
“Not really. He sees most of what I see so I think he's been focused on that. What did I do?”
“Well, you punched me.” He rubbed his jaw and she could see a hint of a proud smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
“Sorry.”
“You move your hands a lot. It took me a while to figure out what you were trying to do.” Liam reached for the sketchbook on the bedside table. “This is probably one of the most amazing things I've ever seen, and I've seen a lot.”
He opened the book to a page filled with sketches of the same symbol. Several pages were filled with the drawings at different levels of completion. She didn't remember drawing them.
“I did this in my sleep?” She took the sketchbook from him and studied it carefully.
“It seemed like you were trying to write something so I gave you the sketchbook and a pencil. You immediately sat up and for the next few hours you drew these. You never spoke. You never opened your eyes. You continued to scream and thrash, but you never made an audible sound.”
“What do you think it means?” Allie ran her hand across the page of writhing snakes. Some were a figure eight, and some were circles, but they all clutched their tails in their mouths.
“It's an ancient symbol.”
“I feel like I’ve seen this before,” Allie said.
“These are two iterations of the ouroboros,” Liam said. “Historically, the figure eight—or infinity—is exactly what it appears to be: a serpent devouring its own tail. It symbolizes the cycle of nature and the universe: creation from destruction, life from death. The snake eats its own tail to sustain its life in an eternal cycle of renewal. We are the only exception to that cycle. We can live forever, but we are still bound to nature because we are human. We may not die easily, but we still experience cycles of destruction and renewal just like all things of nature. This symbol began with us. It is one of the oldest symbols in the world—it is the crest of the Indriell Queens.”
“What does that have to do with me?” She stood and paced to her closet for a sweater. She was cold, but more than anything she wanted to avoid any talk of Indriell.
“Everything.”
“Recently, yes. Gregg told me.”
“It wasn't his secret to tell.” Allie was furious. She should have been the one to tell her brother in her own time.
“Perhaps. But you are young and you need me. I am the only Immortal family you have and I needed to know. I also knew your parents. Your mother was an incredible woman, but I knew your father best. He mentored me a very long time ago. In a weird way, he was like a father to me too.”
Allie closed her eyes. It took everything she had not to tell him her parents were alive. Damn you, Navid. This secret is killing me. She knew he wouldn’t respond but it felt good saying it, knowing he would hear her. I don't like secrets and lies. My whole life has been nothing but both and I'm sick of it!
“So this symbol? What does it mean for me? Why am I drawing it in my sleep?”
“This is your family crest.” He pointed to the large figure-eight symbol she’d drawn in intricate detail. “It represented the longevity of your line. During the days leading up to the Great War, many perversions of this symbol arose. Including the circular version. Its meaning has changed throughout the centuries. Some think the perfect ‘O’ ouroboros was a symbol of the Enlightened who brought about the war. Some see it as the ‘undoing’ of the Indriell line. Perhaps you are dreaming of it because you know who you are now and your gift is trying to show you how to learn more. Where to start.”
“I don't want to learn more.” Allie sat back on the bed beside him. “At least not yet. I haven't wrapped my brain around the idea that I'm a natural born, much less that my parents were so important.”
“You take all the time you need, little one. And when you're ready to talk about it, I'm always here. Gregg will be home soon, but he's a bossy son of a bitch.”
Allie laughed and felt the tension in her body slowly relax. “I love you, Liam.” She rested her head against his shoulder. “I'm glad you're my big brother.”
“Me too, little one. Go to sleep; we have a few more hours before school.” He pulled the covers up over her.
Emerge: The Judgment: (Book 2) Page 9
