by K. S. Martin
“You should eat Summer. I heard your belly growling.”
“Then make yourself useful and make me a sandwich.” He turned and opened the fridge. I like it when he’s agreeable. I went to the bedroom and grabbed new panties and a sleep shirt. He planned to sleep with me. We haven’t done that since we were little. It didn’t ever feel weird to me. Dad had a problem with it. When Jackson hit puberty, Dad wouldn’t allow him to sleep over anymore. We still slept curled up with each other out at the pond on lazy afternoons, but it’s been a long time since that happened too. I let the hot water pound against my shoulders easing the sore muscles. This was a long day and I was ready to collapse. I dried myself and got dressed. I braided my wet hair then went to the kitchen. Jackson was sitting in a chair. God he’s so gorgeous. How did the skinny kid with the gapped teeth grow into this? Who am I kidding? I liked him when he was skinny and gap toothed too. It’s not so much the way Jackson looks even though he is beautiful with his dark hair, wide shoulders, and ready smile. It’s him, his soul, the way he cares about me and for me. It’s the way he says my name. The way he rubs my back when he hugs me and it’s the way he is always willing to stick up for me. Jackson is my knight in shining armor, even if he acts that way because I’m like a little sister that he needs to protect. It is still hard to believe that he’s here. It’s hard to believe how small the kitchen looks with him in it. His eyes flashed at me. “Thanks.” I sat down across from him and demolished his creation. Jackson is a better cook than I am. He bothers to put salt and pepper on the sandwich. I never do. I sip my glass of milk.
“Do you like it here?” He asks. His voice is even and careful, like he’s dealing with a timid animal.
“Yeah, so far, I guess. I’ve only been here for a minute.” I wipe my milk mustache with the back of my hand.
“It feels like a year.” A funny little smile tips the corner of his mouth up. He gathers the dishes and puts them in the sink. “Summer?” My eyes meet his. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were leaving? That you felt so strongly about things?” He crosses his arms across his chest leans his hip against the counter. His biceps have gotten larger. Jackson gets better looking every day. “It’s why you’ve been acting weird isn’t it because you knew for awhile, you planned this out.” I nodded.
“I knew you were promised to Autumn and my dad didn’t want me spending any more time with you so I had nothing to lose. It was too hard to say goodbye Jackson. If I told you, you would’ve tried to stop me from leaving.”
“Damn right. You should’ve stayed and …” My head was shaking. We both knew that you didn’t defy or question the old man. Dad would give me to a stranger and that would be the end of me.
“You see? I couldn’t. I couldn’t stay there any longer.” I was tired and getting whiney.
“She’s mated now so I don’t have to…” Jackson started.
“It doesn’t change my situation though.” I released a deep breath. I pushed my chair back and went to the bedroom. He followed me and stripped down to his boxer briefs. I sneaked a peek. Damn. Way better now than when we were twelve. I climbed in on my usual side and he sat on the other side to take his watch off. I closed my eyes. “Goodnight Jackson.”
“Good night Summer.” He was in my ear now and my core clenched. Oh for crying out loud. I need to find a mate so I can stop this. I can feel his breath on my neck. This bed is smaller than I thought. I am not going to sleep tonight with him this close. He shifts and rolls even closer to me. I turn on my side giving him my back. I’ll pretend he isn’t there, I decide. Jackson’s arm snakes around my middle and he pulls me into the curve of his body. Crap. I hope I don’t have that dream if I do fall asleep. How embarrassing would that be? “Sleep.”
“What?” I turn my head to see his amber eyes watching me.
“I can hear your mind racing. Sleep. Relax and sleep.” He says close to my ear. I turn my face away and close my eyes. I drift. It’s the fastest I’ve ever fallen asleep.
Chapter 4
I wake to the smell of bacon frying and coffee brewing. My mouth waters instantly. I swing my legs out from under the covers and get up. I brush my teeth and get dressed. When I glance at the clock, I want to kill him. It is six o’clock in the morning. He’s nuts if he thinks that I am getting up this early. I take my jeans off and get back in bed. “I thought that you were up. I heard water running.” Jackson is in the doorway to the bedroom.
“It’s six in the morning. I get up at nine, I have three hours.” I mumble. Jackson pulls the quilt back and lifts me out of bed setting me on my feet.
“Breakfast is ready now. If you want to go back to sleep after then be my guest.” He tugs me toward the kitchen and puts me in a cold chair. I jump up squealing and go to find my pants. I mumble about stupid people who don’t know how to stay in bed until a decent time and I hear him chuckle. He’s laughing at me. He can hear me and he’s laughing at me. My temper kicks in partly from lack of sleep and partly from annoyance. I want to hit him. I march into the kitchen, try to smack him but he catches my hand and sits me down. His eyes are flashing amber and I sit. When a wolf’s eyes flash, it can mean so many things. Desire, anger, loss, any extreme emotion qualifies. His were definitely flashing with anger. I dropped my head. Since when did I submit to Jackson? Oh yeah since the day I figured out that we are both alphas. We have always been equals except the day that Kelly left. I really need to figure all of this out some time when I have a free moment. “What time do I meet the alpha?” Jackson said around a mouthful of eggs. I heard someone knock at my back door and went to it. I prayed that it wasn’t my father. That he had not followed Jackson. I went to the door and scented a strange wolf. I opened it and stepped back.
“You must be Summer.” He smiled broadly and put his hand out for me to take. I heard Jackson growl behind me. “And you must be Jackson.” He put out his hand to Jackson. “I’m Larry, current beta in the East View pack.” Crap, he just told Jackson where we were. There went his plausible deniability. “I was anxious to meet you both actually. We have searched and searched for an alpha. We’ve come up with nothing that suits us so far and here you both are. Are you mated?” Jackson sat down and gestured to a chair for Larry.
“Not yet.” Jackson answered. I’d misunderstood that one, I thought he meant to each other but now I realize he just meant in general. “Eat. Don’t be shy.” My brows furrowed. That was my damned breakfast. Jackson was digging into his breakfast and ignoring me. I look into the pan and discover that there’s more. I grab another plate and fill it up. Now that I’m awake, I am hungry. I pour coffee listening to their conversation. He has twenty members, mostly male, a lot of them elderly. The pack in this town has been dying off for some time now. There are very few females so the males leave to find mates and most of the males that are left are all older. I wonder why they don’t mate humans. It happens. Larry is a widow. His wife was a victim of cancer. Werewolves can regenerate quickly, heal quickly but if the cancer is aggressive, even the strongest wolves submit to that. I eat standing up while the big strong men ignore me. When I finish I start washing the dishes. It’s only fair that since he cooked, I will clean. I open the fridge and see that he’s been to the store. What time did he get up? Walking it roundtrip would take a half an hour, ten minutes in the store, he showered, that’s fifteen minutes, and he cooked breakfast. He’s been up since like four I estimate. Wow. We went to bed around midnight. Does he not need any sleep at all? I need at least six hours and that’s all that he gave me. I go to take their dishes and Jackson puts an arm around my waist. “Like I said we aren’t mated yet but it’s inevitable. If it’s a requirement that your pack has for their alpha to be mated, I will take care of it immediately.” My eyes go round. What the hell did he just say? That we would be mated? And it was inevitable? What was he saying? I should’ve been paying more attention to the conversation and less to what time Jackson got up. I pick up the dishes and carry them to the sink to wash. “Summer and I have been
together for twenty years. We are a great team, we know what the other is thinking most of the time, and you won’t find better leaders.” He can’t be serious. Is he feeding this wolf a line to get the position? I rinse and dry the last of the dirty dishes then put them away.
“I want you both to come out and meet the pack. There is a house for you to move into immediately once the pack has voted. I’m sure that it will be unanimous. I’m no leader and we are all anxious to get alphas into place. The first thing that we will ask is that you get new young members here especially mated pairs and females. We want the pack repopulated quickly.” Jackson nodded and shook Larry’s hand then saw him out. They were on the back porch for a few minutes. I was in the bedroom when he returned.
“That went well.” He said and I nodded. “We are going to get this Summer.”
“What did you mean that we would mate if it was required?” He grinned wolfishly.
“That you and I would mate if their pack insisted.” I chewed on my bottom lip.
“That’s as bad as what my dad was going to do.” Jackson is shaking his head. “It is so. I want to fall in love with my mate.”
“You already love your mate.” He pointed at himself. “I’ve always been yours Summer. You know that.” I’m shaking my head. “I know that you think about it, I can smell you thinking about it.” My cheeks flush crimson.
“Sure I think about it, about sex. Who doesn’t ? But that doesn’t mean I’m thinking about it with you.” I tell him without looking at him. He’ll see the lie on my face. He’s been a walking lie detector lately. I think it’s his alpha genes kicking into overdrive.
“Uh huh.” Jackson crosses his arms over his chest. “So last night while you slept, while you were calling my name and humping me, you were thinking of another Jackson? Not me? And when you climaxed and told me that you loved me, it wasn’t me that you were thinking of?” Damn it. I knew that was going to happen. Those damn dreams were a curse no matter how much I enjoy them sometimes. “You felt so good against me, moaning, and writhing. I wanted to bury myself inside of you Summer.” Gooseflesh chased over my skin and heat crept up my neck flaming my cheeks. He’s on his knees at my feet with his hands on my thighs now. I can feel the heat of them through my jeans. His irises are deep steady amber, that’s desire. I hadn’t seen it before, but I knew it now. I wondered if my eyes were similar. “I came here because I missed you. I came here because as soon as you went missing, I felt like I had a hole in my heart. I realized the second you were gone how much you meant to me. I knew before that I loved you but when you weren’t there anymore, I realized that I love you.” I gave him a confused glance. “That I wanted to mate with you and that I can’t live without you.”
“I’m calling bullshit. You have never felt that way about me. I can see why you want this job Jackson but you don’t have to mate me to get it.” I get up and go to the window seat. I pull my knees to my chest and stare outside.
“You think that I don’t want you?” He’s angry. I shake my head. “You think that I’m faking this because I want an alpha position?” I nod but I can’t look at him because he will see the tears in my eyes. Sure, we could mate and probably be happy for the rest of our lives but it would always bother me. It would bother me to find out if he wanted the job or me. Before today, Jackson has never had a romantic notion toward me. He has never told me that I’m pretty or that he likes me in that way. I want him to feel that way but I know that he doesn’t. “Summer I’ve wanted you for as long as I can remember but it wasn’t like that. We were friends and I didn’t want to destroy that relationship by rushing you into something that you weren’t ready to have. Lately though, I’ve realized that you want me too.”
“It was just a dream Jackson, it didn’t mean anything.” I say quietly.
“Don’t lie to me.” He snarls. “Don’t lie.” Jackson pulls me from the window seat and throws me over his shoulder. We are going to the bedroom. He’s going to rape me. I have not consented to this. I bite my lip with worry. I can’t fight him off because he is too strong. If he wants to claim me as his mate there is nothing that I can do about it. I’ll never find the mate that I was supposed to have if he does this.
“Jackson, please?” I beg quietly. He puts me down on the edge of the bed and drops to his knees in front of me.
“You want me Summer, don’t lie, be honest. Do you want me? Do you want me to make love to you? Was it only a dream or was it your mind engaging in a fantasy that you don’t think you can really have? I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me the truth about how you feel. If you can tell me that, we are only friends, fine. However, if you want me, say so. Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear or what you think you believe is true.” Jackson’s eyes were focused and intent on mine. Shit. When he does that penetrating alpha stare, I am compelled to do whatever he wants. I want to please him. I want him so much but even more so, I want him to want me.
“I have that dream all the time. There are more of them, different versions. They started a year ago.” I say quietly looking away.
“Answer my questions.” He commanded me and turned my face back to his with his fingertips.
“Yes Jackson I want you but I know that you don’t want me like that.” The tears begin to well in my eyes again. “I don’t want to mate and have a tepid relationship. I want passion and desire. I want mind numbing. I don’t want us to be best friends for the rest of my life, well I do, but I want more.” My chin quivered and my throat was closing up. My heart has started to pound and he’s going to sense these roiling emotions if I don’t get them under control.
“You think that I don’t want you?” My head shook slowly. “Or you don’t believe that I could want you because you aren’t little and blonde like your sisters.” My head shook again. “You couldn’t be more wrong sweetheart.” I made a face and he grinned. “I’ve waited so long to call you that. God I’ve waited so long for everything. Do you remember when your dad said that I couldn’t stay over anymore?” I nodded. “He told you that it was because we were going into puberty and that it wasn’t proper anymore. That wasn’t why. It was because he caught me looking up your nightgown. We were sleeping in the den in sleeping bags.” He smiled whimsically. “You had kicked yours off and scooted over next to me. I was looking under your nightgown at your boobs. Do you remember? They had just started growing. He walked in and scared the shit out of me. Your dad said that I would not be able to stay over anymore that we were too old and that I was a little pervert.” Jackson laughed. “It could’ve been worse. He was actually cool about it. I mean he could’ve torn me to pieces and it would’ve been justified.” I smiled. “I want to see them again. I mean I’ve waited a really long time for it.” I pull my shirt up and let him look. Big deal. We’ve been swimming a million times and he saw them a couple of weeks ago. “That’s not what I meant Summer.” He shakes his head. “My point is that we were twelve and I was interested in you then, desired you then. I want you Summer. I have always wanted you. I know that way back then you weren’t into it but I hoped that we would find our way to each other. Then you left.” His head dropped to my lap and my fingers wove into his thick hair. “I don’t want to mate you just so I can be the alpha of this pack. I want to mate you. If you decide that we want to go home and wait until I can challenge your dad then that’s what we will do.”
“Jackson.” I say softly. He leans up and kisses me quickly. I gasp surprised. His mouth is softer than I expected. I didn’t expect this. Not any of it. A few minutes ago, I thought that he was going to rape me and claim me. It wouldn’t be unheard of in my world in fact it happened often. I thought of Kelly. He leans up again getting to his feet. His hands are on either side of my hips and his lips are crushing mine. It’s beyond nice. It’s better than the dreams I’ve had. His teeth nip at my bottom lip and his tongue finds a way into my mouth. It’s exploring my tongue, my teeth and the roof of my mouth. I moan. I can’t stop it. Jackson pushes me back then drags me
up the bed until my head is on the pillow. His knee is separating my thighs and my core is weeping, clenching. God I want him. I want to trust him, to trust that he wants me too, that it’s not a ruse for an alpha position. My body needs him, needs satisfaction, and needs love. His nimble fingers are pulling my shirt off and before I realize what he’s up to, he’s pulling my jeans off. I’m in only my underwear and he is still in his clothes. I want his clothes off him. I want to feel his skin. I tug at the hem of his tee shirt and Jackson reaches down between us and rips it off, his jeans follow. He is still kissing me. “Have you done this before?” I ask. My voice is all breathy and not one that I recognize. I know he has gone on dates usually at the request of his mother to take someone’s daughter or niece out. “Jackson?” He looks up at me now, his eyes glazed and I know that look is desire. He really wants me, or he really wants sex. Don’t think about it, I tell myself. “Have you done this before?” He gives me a half smile and nods. “But you’ve wanted me for years?” I start to pull away.
“Stop it Summer. Don’t pick a fight with me because you’re scared. You always do that.” I don’t do that. Do I?
“I’m not scared.” I roll my eyes. Okay maybe I am a little. “Who?” I ask. “I have a right to know.” Jackson has slept with other girls. Jealously streaks through me and I want to rip their throats out.
“Okay.” He sighs and rolls off me but stays close. “The first one was Melanie.” I make a face. “Hey, I know you don’t like it but you have no idea how many hormones are in a male’s bloodstream during puberty. I would’ve used a hole in the drywall. Don’t ever repeat that either.” I laugh. “We did it a half a dozen times before she went after Tim.” My mouth dropped open. “It was before Autumn looked at him so close that.” He pushed my mouth shut with his fingertip and grinned. “The second was Laney but we only did it once, she preferred oral.” I scrunched my face up. Laney, that little bitch! She’d been with nearly every male in a thirty-mile radius. She will turn her tail up to anyone. “The third was a girl I met when we went to Florida. It was one time in a bathroom stall. I didn’t get her name.” He looked ashamed at that admission. “Since we’re having this talk, who have you been with?” My brows knitted and I worried my lip. “Come on, I told you.” I felt the flush creep over my cheeks. “No one?” I shook my head and he looked pleased, more than pleased. “Good.” He pulled me to him and kissed me again. My hands flattened against his chest, my fingertips explored the planes of muscle and ridges of rib. His skin was soft and hot. Jackson took my hand and kissed my palm then put it on his erection. “Feel how much I want you.” He left a trail of nips and kisses along my jaw and down my neck. His erection was long and thick but I stroked it from base to the tip that was peeking out of the top of his boxers. I looked down at it. The tip glistened. I wanted to taste him. I bent and he rolled to his back knowing what I wanted. His fingers wove into my braid and guided my head to it. I licked it tentatively. Jackson groaned and pulled the boxers down with his free hand. Crisp dark hair surrounded his length that I felt with my fingers. I stroked down with my tongue. This was the other dream, me doing this to him. I did what I did in the dream and let my lips suck him deeply into my mouth. “Fuck.” He hissed and dragged me up his body. “I don’t want to come yet.” Jackson unclasped my bra and rolled me onto my back. His mouth worshipped my breasts. Nipping at them, licking them, sucking them then he was kissing his way down my belly. I quivered and trembled, aching for him. I heard someone knocking on my door that went to the store. That had to be Shirley.
