“You should be sleeping still. Are you in a lot of pain?”
“No one sleeps Christmas morning.” Daniel evaded the pain question. Chris reached over and turned on the bedside light too quickly for Daniel to school his features into anything other than his honest discomfort and exhaustion.
“Idiot,” Chris said as nicely as he could manage. Clambering off of the bed, he winced as bare feet hit the cold floor and then refilled the tumbler of water on the bedside table. He dumped two pills out of the bottle into his hand, and helping Daniel to sit up halfway, he waited until Daniel finally gave in and took the pills.
“They make me sleepy,” Daniel said grumpily.
“You need to sleep.”
“I don’t want to miss our Christmas.” Chris settled Daniel on his side and then spooned him gently from behind. It may well have only been a month since they had reconnected but he was in love and he was determined to have a lifetime with this man in his arms. It didn’t matter if this Christmas passed in a blur of pain relief and sleep.
What Chris said next were words from the heart, from his soul, from the man he was inside to the person he loved.
“There’s always next year.”
* * * *
When Daniel next woke, it was to the soft glow of a bedside lamp in an otherwise dark room. Hell, he was losing so many hours to this mess. Was it Christmas evening?
What had he missed?
“Hey, stranger.” Chris was sitting upright in the bed, his back propped up by pillows. In his hand was a paperback, some Stephen King story by the look of it.
“Hey,” Daniel managed. His throat was scratchy, freaking meds made his mouth dry. He wriggled a bit so he was sitting a little more upright and Chris dropped his book onto the side table and helped him. He then passed him a cup of water. Daniel didn’t think he had ever tasted anything so damn perfect.
“What time is it?” he asked.
“A little after six, Christmas night. It snowed again. Can I get you anything else?”
“Can we maybe go get some air?”
Chris raised his eyebrows in silent question but didn’t actually sound out the words that would probably have been along the lines of what the fuck?
Together they managed to get Daniel to the bathroom where he brushed his teeth, finally feeling slightly more normal. Semidressed in loose sweats and a baggy sweatshirt, he was then manhandled into the largest coat Chris possessed followed by scarves and hats. They paused for a moment at the top of the stairs.
“Can you get on the roof here?” Daniel asked. Chris nodded and through a door at the end of the small corridor they made their way up the steps and out the two doors to the roof. Daniel leaned heavily on Chris and they managed through sheer will to get to the wall that made its way around the top of this building. The cold was all-pervasive yet therapeutic, and Daniel grabbed Chris’s hand and then tipped his head back to look at the night sky.
The glow of the city made the stars less obvious but the city against the black of the night sky was stunning.
“Beautiful,” Daniel murmured. Chris made a small noise of agreement, and hand in hand they stood there for a short while. The city was never quiet even on Christmas Day but any noise was deadened by softly falling snow that swirled and danced around them. Peace. Daniel had never felt more at peace than he did at this moment and he wasn’t sure whether it was Chris, or the night, or Christmas, but he was so ready to make all of this with Chris permanent.
“When this is all over, will you consider moving in with me?”
He said this carefully. He expected Chris to think about it, but Chris turned to face him and kissed him deeply in answer. When he pulled back he had a wide grin on his face and he just said:
“Yes.”
Chapter 17
Monday, January 7th
The physical therapy today was the most intense it had ever been since it started, and when they arrived back at the coffee shop Chris had a snarling, grumpy Daniel on his hands.
“I just want to go back to work,” Daniel snapped as he tried to get comfortable at one of the round tables in the coffee shop.
“It’s only been a short while, Daniel.” Chris placed a coffee in front of his boyfriend and pasted the most supportive expression on his face that he could muster.
The PT was working well and it wouldn’t be long before Daniel could return to the precinct. Selfishly, the thought of Daniel back out there in harm’s way filled him with dread. The other part of him, the one that had fallen in love so damn hard it hurt, just wanted Daniel happy.
“I could go back in and fly a desk,” Daniel repeated for the millionth time since he was off heavy meds and on to PT and recuperation. “It’s what they’ll have me doing in a week anyway.”
God, he didn’t even want to start thinking of Daniel back at the station. Seven short days and Chris wouldn’t have Daniel to himself anymore. He refused to let his fear for what could happen to Daniel rule how he was feeling now and focused on the fact he had a part to play. He was doing his damndest to be the best boyfriend in the entire city of New York, and so far, the façade hadn’t cracked to expose the scared man beneath.
“Drink your coffee and stop whining, big man,” Ame said with a smile in her voice as she dropped triple chocolate muffins onto two plates. “Anyone else would be loving the enforced vacation.” Clearly Daniel was confused as to what emotion he should be showing at the arrival of muffins. The warring reactions of I hate being sick and I love chocolate so much were comical to see. Daniel settled on a narrow-eyed grumpy expression but it didn’t stop him from diving into muffin heaven.
“Did you hear from Maria yet?” Chris saw the need to change the conversation and decided on a fairly safe subject almost instantly.
“They said the C-section is planned for tomorrow now. Ten or thereabouts.”
“Ib e kay?” Daniel mumbled around an obscenely large mouthful of muffin and chocolate. He swallowed and then repeated the question. “Is she okay?”
“Doctors say she’s doing well, but her blood pressure is still not good even with the bed rest, and the baby needs to be here sooner rather than later.”
Chris listened with half an ear as he watched his lover’s gorgeous face break into a smile. Daniel loved babies—he was a baby magnet. Since Christmas, if he had made his way down from Chris’s bedroom to the shop and was in here drinking coffee, then he attracted women with babies. Ame had described it as ‘like flies around a cow’s ass’.
Maybe it was the whole wounded soldier thing Daniel had going for him—he had used a cane for a while to keep the weight off his injured leg. Maybe it was curling dark hair that touched his collar in soft waves or the most amazing changeable hazel eyes known
to man. Whatever it was, somehow, if a woman sat near him with a crying baby, then with a few hand gestures and funny faces, Daniel had the baby cooing and smiling and the moms not far from the same reaction.
Chris watched as he worked and it took an inordinate amount of self-control not to leap the counter and stand between hormonal new mothers with babes in arms and his strapping six five lover. In fact, in his more fanciful moments he considered making Daniel wear a T-shirt emblazoned with ‘property of Christian Matthews’. They hadn't talked about moving in together again; happy to stay in Chris's small room. But the time would come when Daniel wouldn’t take any more delays and would want Chris to move into Daniel's luxury apartment.
His cell vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out to check the screen. What he saw there was a real blast from the past. A name he never thought he would see again.
Sacred Heart School. The private school hadn’t entered into anything except written communication since the accusations of improper student/teacher interaction. He pressed the button to connect the call and then casually stood to wander away from the table. Still engrossed in baby talk, Ame and Daniel didn’t even comment at the movement.
“Christian Matthews,” he answered formally.
“Christian. How are you?” Chris frowned, attempting to place a name to the voice.
It sounded like the principal, but surely Edmund Voegleson wouldn’t be using the phone to talk to an ex-teacher from his school. “Edmund here, Edmund Voegleson.”
The person who had signed off on clearing Sacred Heart’s decks of an out gay teacher pointed out clearly who he was assumedly because Christian hadn’t replied.
“Hello,” Chris finally said. The principal coughed and muttered a few other words that Chris couldn’t make out.
“Situation is, Christian,” Edmund said abruptly as if it was the continuation to some huge conversation, “we want you to come back to Sacred Heart.”
“Back,” Chris said. There was no question in his voice, he was merely summarizing the sentence he had been given for want of something else to say.
“We have a vacancy in the English Department and I couldn’t think of a person more worthy of returning to the school than you.”
“A vacancy.” Chris tried so damn hard to keep disbelief out of his voice. What the hell was this? He felt someone at his back, the reassuring strength of Daniel gripping his arm. Leaning back on his lover, he waited to hear more.
“It wouldn’t be at your previous pay grade of course, and you would be starting at the bottom again, but I’m sure you will agree that Sacred Heart is certainly the place to be teaching.”
“I see—”
“Whitman Hamilton-Keyes has been promoted to department head. You are old…
friends… I understand.” Edmund put the emphasis on friend and bracketed it with momentary hesitation.
“Let me get this right,” Chris began pleasantly enough. He moved away from leaning against Daniel and into the hall at the bottom of the stairs, gripping hard to Daniel’s jacket and encouraging him to follow. Daniel closed the door to the shop
behind him and suddenly it was Daniel, Chris, and Edmund alone. “You are inviting me to return to a position in the English department at lower pay and reporting to the man who refused to take responsibility for what he had done and so got me fired in the first place?”
“Yes.” Edmund was full of satisfaction that dripped from the single word. “No.
Wait. Look, Matthews, it would certainly be beneficial to all concerned if you resumed your role here. Very advantageous.”
Reporting to the man who lied when asked about the emails, at a school that actively encouraged the demonization of a gay teacher and for less money than I’m worth? Chris knew he had to finish this conversation before he really lost control. “Sir, with all due respect, I will be declining your kind offer.”
“Oh.”
“I do, however, hope that should I need a reference, you will be in a position to provide one.”
“Of course—”
“Good day.”
Chris finished the call with a calm press of a button and then held the cell tightly to his chest. Daniel placed a single finger under Chris’s chin and encouraged him to lift his gaze.
“Are you okay? Chris?”
“I had to—” He couldn’t talk. This was Daniel standing there, the man he loved, the one person he felt entirely himself with, and he couldn’t string a sensible sentence together. “—to tell him no. I want… I don’t want that anymore. Working for Whit…
less money. I mean… what the fuck?”
“Okay. That’s fine.”
“I want to move in with you, and I need to do something with the skills I have.
Get back into teaching.” The epiphany hit Chris like a ton of bricks, and he staggered back until he hit the wall. As much as Daniel needed to be back as a cop then sure as the sun shone on a summer’s day Chris needed to teach. Tenderly Daniel placed a kiss on Chris’s lips and then cradled his face. The expression in his hazel eyes was filled with compassion and understanding, but he smirked and then full-out smiled.
“About time.”
Chapter 18
Monday, January 14th
Daniel’s first day back at his desk was the very same day as the first interview Chris had attended since Sacred Heart and the fourth day of living together in Daniel's apartment.
“You’ll do great,” Daniel said softly as he adjusted Chris’s tie and smiled down at him.
“What if Sacred Heart gave me a bad reference?”
“They promised they wouldn’t. You don’t need to give them the power to worry you like this. Say after me, ‘I’m a great teacher.’”
“I’m a good teacher,” Chris dutifully responded.
“Great teacher.” Daniel frowned as he corrected Chris’s words.
“A great teacher.” He said the words but he wasn’t entirely convinced that what he was saying was true. Daniel was looking at him with a familiar exasperated expression. Chris loved teaching. It was what shaped his life and it had been since Peggy McGuire needed help with history when they were in fifth grade. “And look at you,” he said to change the direction of the conversation, “all muffined up?”
Daniel smirked. When Ame had knocked on Daniel’s apartment door early this morning, she had in her hands two boxes of muffins. A large one for Daniel to take to work with the words “go catch bad guys” scrawled on the lid. And a smaller box holding a single muffin; this box had a simple message and was for Chris—”good luck”.
Daniel looked down at the muffins and then back at Chris through narrowed eyes.
“Don’t change the subject,” he said firmly.
Chris sighed and laid a hand flat on his lover’s chest. Daniel was wearing his uniform, all pressed and neat, and he even had his hair in some semblance of order after it had been tidied shorter and less shaggy, ready for work. Chris didn’t want to complain about it but he sure missed the softness of the longer length.
“I’m not changing it, just consciously avoiding thinking about how easy it would be to fuck this up.”
“Chris—”
“I’m scared, Daniel. What if I get the freaking job and they find out? Should I have put it on the application form?”
Daniel looked confused for a moment. “You mean that you left Sacred Heart?”
“No, that I’m gay.”
“Was that a question on the application form?” Daniel asked patiently.
Chris blinked. “No. Of course not.”
“There you go then. Not a consideration.” Daniel dismissed his fears with a snap of his fingers. Jeez, why couldn’t Daniel see how this situation may go? With a hard kiss and a quick hug Daniel left for day one back as a City cop and finally Chris stood alone in the middle of Daniel's kitchen clutching the small muffin box and wishing he could go back to bed. Being gay had been more than a consideration at his old school; he’d lost his job because of it. Well, being gay and sleeping with that asshole Whitman.
Fuck. This could go wrong so many ways today that he couldn’t even keep hold of all the threads.
* * * *
The principal of North Downs High School was a guy in his midforties with a serious expression and steel gray hair. He was interested in what Chris had to say and he answered questions thoughtfully about curriculum and assessment. Chris couldn’t
help but notice it appeared he had the weight of his school-based world on his shoulders.
“Look, Mr Matthews, I’m going to be honest with you. Funding is nonexistent, some of the kids don’t care, hell, some of the parents don’t care. The English rooms are in desperate need of a makeover and our pass rate on Lit is appallingly low.”
“Okay—”
“You taught at Sacred Heart: funding out of its ears, pushy parents, clever privately tutored kids, a pass rate of one hundred percent on standardized tests.” The principal was looking at his paperwork and it gave Chris time to gather his thoughts.
On paper he was so not a good fit here. Coming from some pansy-ass, full-service blueblood school to this one in a poor to middling suburb probably implied a step downwards.
“I didn’t… I wasn’t…
” He stopped talking as soon as he realized that the principal hadn’t actually asked him a question outright. He’d just stated the obvious from Chris’s application. There had been no censure in the statement.
“Your references are impeccable,” the principal added and Chris nodded helplessly. He searched his head for something to say and cursed the tension that gripped his throat. What would Daniel do in this situation?
“I’m a good teacher,” Chris blurted out. “I love English; I love teaching. I want to make a difference.” He groaned inwardly as the cliché pushed its way out of his mouth.
Who the hell said they wanted to make a difference in an interview? The principal merely looked at him with a soft, understanding smile.
“There is no reason on here for leaving your last job. No words I would expect from someone joining us midsemester like you are furthering you career or that you had a personality clash. There’s just an empty box and a one year space in teaching to work at a coffee shop called Amelia’s.”
Again, he didn’t ask a question, just poked Chris in the right direction.
“I wasn’t a good fit for the school,” Chris said. That was really all he needed to say. He cursed inwardly that he hadn’t put one of the many reasons he could now think of in the box.
“What was it? Too poor for the pushy parents?” The principal chuckled at that thought. “Too young?”
“Too gay.” There. He said it. The statement was out there now. Fuck. Daniel was going to kill him.
The principal nodded and made a mark on the application. He then replaced the pen in its pot, pushed the paperwork to one side, and steepled his fingers. He looked thoughtful.
“I want to say that North Downs is a fully inclusive faculty where every teacher is given one hundred percent support irrespective of gender or life choice. But I can’t.”
New York Christmas Page 10
