“You had better get inside before Cindy scolds you for being late for dinner,” I say with a forced smile and a nod toward the house. Mom is still wiping away tears but laughs at my comment as Dad wraps his arm around her and leads her toward the front door.
I’m left in the silence and darkness of the night as I grab our bags from the trunk of the car. The sharp sound of the trunk closing echoes out into the sky, marking the definitive end to this part of my journey.
This part of my journey. My journey isn’t over. It doesn’t have to end here. My parents taught me everything they know. They’ve lived as wanted fugitives these past twenty-one years and managed to survive their interactions with the outside world without being caught. I know exactly how to blend in, how to remain under the radar and avoid attention. If I’m careful, I can have a life outside these woods. The world has much to offer. I only need to embrace it.
Turning to the warm and inviting home in front of me, I resolve to enjoy this night with my reunited family, to bask a little in what we just accomplished, and to daydream about what comes next.
The next step is right there in front of me. All I need to do is take it.
8
I feel a bit like a stalker. I’m not going to lie.
After spending much of the next day with my parents and grandparents, the first in a long series of days to make up lost time from these past twenty-one years, I’ve opted to go for a drive, which really means I’m going to CJ’s Tavern. I have no idea what days or hours this woman works, but I’m hoping she’ll be there.
After pulling into the parking lot, I step out of the car with purpose to my steps. The last time I was here was for alcohol. This time I’m here for her.
The smell of cigarette smoke practically bellows out the door as I open it. It’s not difficult to find the source. Four gruff-looking men are seated near the door, each with a tall glass of beer in front of them and cigarettes hanging from their mouths as they laugh much louder than necessary about something.
I look past them in search of who I’m here for, the woman haunting my dreams whose name I didn’t even catch the last time I was here. My heart sinks a little when I don’t see her smiling face and lively movements around the tables, but I opt to take a seat in the same corner table I sat at before anyway.
While many of the tables remain empty, the seats at the bar are completely full, and there’s no question why. The bartender tonight is a young blond woman with a tight white T-shirt that doesn’t leave much to the imagination. When she leans over the bar, each customer is clearly getting more out of her service than the drink she has in her hand.
Yes, I’ve been attracted to beautiful women and should be just as attracted to this busty bartender right now as the men lined up to order drinks from her at the bar, but my mind is completely elsewhere, stuck on a certain lively brunette I don’t even know.
After a few minutes I begin to realize how stupid I am for being here, for stalking this poor woman in her workplace and being one of hundreds of other men who surely come to this tavern to drool over women they can never have. Despite this realization, I find myself still planted firmly in this seat with no intention of moving.
My persistence is rewarded when the door next to the bar opens and the brunette comes bustling out, her hands completely full with trays of food balanced delicately on her open palms above her. I watch with amazement as she glides between the tables to drop off each tray of food to its appropriate set of patrons seated at tables on the other side of the tavern. She still has that bounce to her step and that vivid smile on her face.
She glances in my direction with a sly grin before making her way toward my table. With each step she takes toward me, my heart beats just a little faster and I feel myself becoming more alive.
Without saying a word, she grasps my hand from the table and holds it between both of hers, inspecting it thoroughly and hesitating only briefly when her thumb runs over the lines of the small infinity tattoo on my wrist.
After setting my hand back down on the table, she eyes me up with a satisfied grin. “I was afraid you picked a fight with your car again.”
I can’t help the laugh that escapes me or the broad smile on my face. “We’ve been getting along better for the most part.”
“Good. Your car must have learned its place.” She glances away from me and almost nervously tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. “So what brings you back here? Haven’t seen you in a while.”
“You,” I reply simply, but when her eyes return to mine, their strange shyness is replaced by a look of annoyance like she’s heard this a thousand times before. I find myself scrambling to explain. “I mean, I saw you last night on the road. It was dark and you were walking alone.”
“I don’t live far from here,” she replies defensively as she grabs for her notepad and pen, clearly ready to move on to business. After scribbling something on the notepad she stops and slowly lifts her head back up toward me. “Wait. Were you in that car that swerved away from me last night?”
I bite my lip and nod reluctantly. “I wasn’t expecting anyone on the road. I’m sorry if I scared you.”
“That was really dangerous, you know. Another car could have been coming around the curve and hit you.” She shuffles her feet beneath her awkwardly. “I appreciate you not wanting to hit me, though.”
“Honestly you shouldn’t even be walking on that road at night. A drunk driver could hit you. Someone could attack you.”
She shrugs off my comments and straightens her stance. “It’s not that far to walk. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself, but thank you for your concern…” she pauses, looking at me expectantly for my name.
“Dante,” I fill in for her, extending my hand.
“Dante,” she repeats thoughtfully as she shakes my hand with a warm smile. “I’m Lily.”
I’m trying to keep an even face as our hands release, but inside my mind is reeling over how perfect her name is. It’s only appropriate that someone as stunning and lively as she is would have such a beautiful name.
Lily and I both turn at the sound of her name being yelled from the door next to the bar. I’ve clearly kept her at this table longer than she should have been.
With a rushed smile, Lily returns her attention to me and asks, “You want the same as last time? Sam Adams, was it?”
I nod, unable to hide the impressed look on my face. “Thanks, Lily.”
She tucks away the pad of paper and pen in her back pocket as she turns and quickly weaves through the tables to the bar. She gets my drink and quickly returns with it, leaning her arms on my table as she sets it down and whispers within inches of my face, “Don’t disappear on me this time.”
I don’t know whether I’m more shocked by what she’s said or the glimpse she’s inadvertently giving me to the cleavage showing in the crook of her V-neck shirt. I acknowledge her with a silent nod as she straightens up and leaves my table to go through the door next to the bar.
The rest of the tavern is only a blur to me as my mind remains focused on Lily even when she’s out of my sight. I mindlessly drink my beer as I watch her do her thing, taking drink orders and clearing empty plates from tables. The smile never leaves her face as she works, and it brightens just a little when she steals glances at me. I’m not sure what to think of how she’s interacted with me tonight other than I know from watching her work that she’s treating me differently than her other patrons. Something warm swells within my chest to receive that kind of attention from her when I’ve spent my entire life moving in the shadows and blending into the world around me.
Within seconds of my beer bottle being empty, Lily is at my table offering me another.
“I’m all set,” I politely decline.
The hint of disappointment plays on Lily’s face as she tears off my bill from the notepad and sets it on the table.
“What time do you get off work?” I ask impulsively.
“We close at nine o’c
lock.”
I glance at the clock encircled with blue neon lights that hangs above the bar. It’s a half-hour until close. “Let me drive you home tonight?” I offer. She looks at me with only partially feigned skepticism, but I explain myself anyway. “I don’t like the idea of you walking home alone this late.”
She opens her mouth to speak but seems to catch herself before the words actually make it out of her. “Deal, but I’m driving,” she counters. “What if you look all sweet and innocent but you’re actually some crazy person trying to steal me away?”
My face blanches a little at her comment. She’s completely right in what she’s saying, but she has no idea that she just touched on multiple uneasy subjects for me. I’m not innocent in the eyes of the law, living with my fugitive parents under a fake name, and the only reason I exist is because both of my parents were ultimately brought together after being taken away from their families by a psychopath.
“What if you’re just as crazy and want to steal me away?” I fight back with a teasing smile, doing whatever I can to recover and hide my discomfort.
She tries and fails to hold in a small fit of laughter. “You got me there. I guess you’ll just have to take the risk.”
Take the risk. That’s exactly what I’m already doing. My presence in this tavern bringing attention to myself with this woman is completely against every directive my parents have given me since I was old enough to understand my family’s situation. I think that’s what my life is lacking, though. I’ve never taken risks, never dared to step outside the neatly marked box my parents created for my life. I may never know true freedom, but I’ll be damned if I don’t at least get the opportunity to live a little.
“You can drive,” I decide. “I’ll take my chances.”
A pleased, victorious grin spreads across Lily’s face. “Great. I look forward to it.”
As she walks away, I can’t help the increasingly rapid beat of my heart against my ribcage. What have I agreed to do? I’ve hardly even spoken to other women before, let alone tried to court one of them. Is this whole song and dance my pitiful attempt at flirting with my waitress at a bar? She agreed to go with me, though. I guess my effort isn’t so pitiful if it actually works?
It’s only now that I realize I’m watching Lily move around the room with a different pair of eyes. I’m noticing the way the other men in the bar interact with her, from motioning for her to bend down closer to speak to her, no doubt to get a better view down her chest, to clearly checking out her ass as she walks away.
A strange feeling of jealous rage builds inside me with each interaction I see. To anyone else, even to Lily, these actions must seem completely benign and insignificant, but to me they trigger some kind of internal protective beast that wants to drag Lily away from these men and this tavern forever.
By the time nine o’clock rolls around and the place is emptying out, I’ve calmed down significantly from the chaos that was erupting inside me. Knowing that I’d be the last patron to leave the tavern and that I’d be leaving with Lily in my car gives me a strange sense of pride and accomplishment.
Lily emerges from the door next to the bar with a purse on her shoulder. “Ready for a ride?” she asks, though I swear I hear a hint of playfulness in her voice as she says it.
I don’t quite know how to respond to that, but I manage to nod and stand immediately to follow her out the front door.
It’s completely dark outside as we walk into the almost empty parking lot. The air is a bit crisp for a summer evening, but I find it refreshing. It doesn’t seem to bother Lily either in her short-sleeved shirt and jean shorts as I lead her toward my black sedan.
Lily stops in front of the vehicle and holds her hand out to me expectantly. “Keys, kind sir?”
I pull them from my pocket, noting how warm the metal is as I place them in Lily’s hand. My fingers inadvertently brush the soft skin of her wrist as I pull my hand away, and in that moment our eyes find each other through the relative darkness surrounding us.
Her expression makes it impossible for me to read what she’s thinking. I’d give anything to know whether our touch affected her as much as it affected me. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it as I take a seat in the passenger side of the car and watch Lily buckle into the driver’s seat. She settles in and starts up the car as if she’s driven it a million times before.
The dashboard lights up and the radio comes to life, the speakers blasting the local classic rock station louder than I would have liked. I scramble to turn down the music, but Lily’s hand covers mine and she stops me, her fingers slowly entwining with my fingers around the volume knob to leave the music on but not nearly as loud as it was. Our hands remain there as our gazes meet, and this time there is no room for interpretation in the expression on Lily’s face.
She’s going to kiss me.
Her hand leaves mine to cup my cheek as she moves her upper body forward and presses her lips to mine. She’s in complete control, her entire body moving with each kiss as she finds my lips over and over again with a subtle intensity likes she needs this more than air to breathe.
My heart races as she unbuckles her seatbelt and pushes herself over the center console to straddle me, her lips barely leaving mine in the process. I’ve never done anything like this before, but I don’t stop her. It’s an exhilarating feeling to let her do exactly as she pleases, to throw myself into this primal experience I’ve dreamed about for years.
As her hand leaves my face to trail down my neck and chest, I become acutely aware that my hardness is pressing up against her bare thigh, but strangely I’m not embarrassed by it. It only encourages me to become more involved in this completely spontaneous exchange between us as I grab Lily’s hips and slowly grind against her.
Our lips part briefly as the breath of a moan escapes Lily’s mouth, but that’s all the time it takes for the passionate moment between us to dissipate. She presses on my shoulders to push herself back, putting as much space between us as my car will allow. She’s practically panting, her cleavage pressing in and out of her shirt with each movement of her chest as she hovers over me.
“I have to stop,” she whispers, sounding more like she’s trying to speak to herself than me. Her eyes meet mine, and in the soft glow from the dashboard, I can see the apologetic look in them. “I’m sorry, Dante. I got a little carried away.”
I’m not sure how to respond. I’m not sorry it happened, though I’m not sure how far I would have let her go anyway given we just learned each other’s names less than two hours ago and I’ve never been intimate with a woman before.
Lily works herself off my lap and settles back into the driver’s seat, the pink in her cheeks from our exchange or from her embarrassment clearly present even in the dim lighting of the car. I want to reach out to her and relieve her worry, but I keep my hands to myself and give her my best comforting smile instead. “I think we were both getting carried away.”
“Maybe.” A look of relief crosses her face as she clears her throat and runs her fingers through her hair nervously. With a deep breath she puts the car in reverse and backs us out of the parking lot.
Luckily she wasn’t kidding about living close to the tavern. It takes only five minutes to drive there. Any longer and the awkward avoidance of conversation between us would have been unbearable. Lily pulls the car into a development of small two-story homes in a less wooded area not too far off the main road.
As she pulls into the driveway of one of the small white buildings, a spotlight above the single garage door automatically turns on. Lily wastes no time opening her door and hopping out of the car, so I do the same.
She walks around the front of the car to me, and I swear I see a flicker of debate cross her face as she meets my gaze. “Thanks for letting me drive,” she says, biting her lip momentarily before adding, “both times.”
My breath catches a bit as she says this, and my response comes out as more of a laugh. “Believe me, I enjoyed
the ride.”
The look of indecision makes a reappearance on her face as she grins and turns toward the front door. She only gets a few steps closer to it before she stops abruptly and turns back to me. “Coffee tomorrow?”
“Coffee?” I reply, dumbfounded at her suggestion.
She laughs at my response, seeming to relax a little. “Yes. You, me, and two cups of coffee coming together somewhere other than the tavern or your car.”
“Sure,” I accept before I realize what I’m saying. I’m not supposed to be interacting with people like this. Getting close to people is not conducive to my family’s lifestyle.
It’s only coffee, though. How harmful could a cup of coffee be?
“Great. Pick me up at ten o’clock?”
I nod, my mind racing at the implications of what I’ve just done.
I’ve made out with a woman for the first time.
I’ve scheduled my first date.
I’ve broken every rule my parents ever taught me.
But I’m living. I feel the effects of it pulsing through my veins. The residual exhilaration from tonight and my anxiety about tomorrow will make it impossible to sleep, but I welcome every second of it, because this is what I’ve been waiting for my entire life.
The bright look of anticipation on Lily’s face as she turns toward her front door only confirms that I’ve made the right decision. My face almost hurts from smiling as I watch her disappear across the threshold and close the door behind her.
9
By the time I pull into the driveway at home, it hits me how exceptionally late it is for me to be out. My parents will question where I’ve been, and my dread at facing this only deepens when I park in front of the house next to the old forest green SUV we bought off Craigslist for my grandparents to drive.
I reluctantly turn off the engine and step out of the car into the refreshing night air. With a deep breath, I make my way toward the front door, though each footstep feels heavier the closer I get to it.
Beyond Resistance (The Ransom Series) Page 5
