I turned on my heel and followed.
“I wish you’d tell them to turn that documentary off. Do they have to watch it in our home?”
“You tell them.” He sprinkled chopped basil into a small bowl, then reached for olive oil. “You come home to your husband making you dinner, I would think you’d let some things go. Most women would be ecstatic.”
“You don’t care that they’re watching my ex-boyfriend?”
“That guy is an idiot. And a cheat. I have no respect for him. He’s so off my radar they may as well be watching a cartoon. Besides, they asked, and I thought it would be good for them to see it. I want them to know how some men are.” He walked over and kissed me on the lips. “You need to calm down, Mrs. Howard.”
“Why are they even here?”
He raised a brow. “Because they’re family.”
I muttered an apology.
“Speaking of, I told Carmen she could come by. She was at her mother’s, so Dahlia is coming, too.”
I made a face. “You’re kidding, right?”
“Wow, you are in a mood. Carmen hasn’t been seeing much of her mother. Since my folks couldn’t make it, I thought it would be nice. Hey, it’s going to be an excellent dinner—if I don’t screw up this sauce!” He went to the stove and gave the bubbling sauce a stir, then went for the wineglass on the table. “Oh, and guess what. There’s also been a turn of events. Carmen finally broke up with what’s-his-name.”
“She did?”
“Don’t look so sad. Carmen is going places. That dude?” He rolled his eyes while taking a sip of wine. “Let’s just say their breakup is long overdue.”
I felt my heart sink a little. I was sorry to hear about Jake, and surprised. I really liked him; plus, he was good for Carmen. He loved her. I didn’t care what Samuel said.
I grimaced when I heard Avery’s voice from the living room: “Art takes you out of your head, man. That’s what it’s for. It’s to pull you out of the ordinariness of life.” I covered my ears and yelled, “Could you two at least turn it down in there?”
Samuel took down a wineglass and poured from the open bottle. “Here,” he said, handing me the glass. “Why don’t you take this, climb into the tub, and by the time you’re dressed, your dinner will be waiting for you. Shouldn’t be more than forty minutes.” He found his glass and tinged it against mine before drinking. “Go relax. You’re tense. You’re always in a mood when you’re tense.”
• • •
“Isn’t it gorgeous?” Dahlia held out her wrist so she could show off her bracelet, a gift from her new boyfriend, Ted Stein. Ted, she was all too happy to tell us, was a dentist in the dental office where she worked as a receptionist. He was old for Dahlia’s taste, close to her own age, that is; but from the way she kept calling him Dr. Stein, it was easy to tell that his being a dentist made up for his advanced age and balding head.
“I could hardly contain myself. Every time I reached for the phone today, there it was, shining back at me.” She kissed Ted. “You’re so good to me.”
Carmen said, “Are you going to have to pay him for it?”
Dahlia narrowed her eyes but then remembered to laugh. “Of course not! It’s a gift!”
Ted put his arm around her while lapping up her cleavage with his eyes. “Something lovely for my lovely.”
I tried not to puke.
Esther complimented her. “I love the stone.”
“Thank you! It is beautiful, isn’t it?”
Carmen moaned from the end of the table.
Ruth, oblivious to the undercurrents, and possibly buzzed on red wine, stared into the ceiling and murmured, “Avery Brooks is like a man dipped in caramel. He’s a jewel.”
Esther studied her sister as if she no longer recognized her. Samuel chuckled lightly.
“He is gorgeous, isn’t he?” Dahlia said. “There’s that one scene where he’s painting without his shirt on?” She sucked her breath; then, remembering Ted, she reached under the table and presumably squeezed his knee. “Abbey was in a documentary. She dated a famous artist.”
“Oh, really?” Ted said. “That’s interesting.”
Now I moaned.
“It was up for an Academy Award!” Ruth added.
I dug into my chicken, hoping to squelch the subject. “It was years ago. A lifetime ago.”
Ruth asked, “Do you ever see him?”
“No. Never. Last I heard he was living in Amsterdam. Honey, this chicken is amazing.”
“Thank you, babe. I found the recipe for the chicken and the risotto online. I’m starting to enjoy cooking; saves money and it’s healthier than eating out.”
“It is,” I said, hoping my diversion would stick.
It didn’t.
“Did you know he was forging paintings?” Ruth asked.
“Of course not.”
“She knew,” Esther said. “How could she not have known? They were so in love and together all the time. She had to have known.”
“I didn’t know, Esther.”
“You did.”
“I didn’t. Why would I lie?”
I didn’t bother explaining that it was impossible to know Avery’s every move, nor did I watch him make every single painting. I was as dumbfounded as everyone else when he confessed. He was basically self-taught, and the pressure to create more and more work had caught up with him. I assumed Esther was being ornery, anyway. What did she know?
Carmen came to my defense. “Hey, she didn’t know. She wouldn’t lie about something like that.”
Ted snapped his fingers. “I remember that guy! I saw him on 60 Minutes. He was a hotshot. I saw him in the Times, too. I didn’t read the article, but if I remember correctly, he’s making a comeback.” He nodded slowly, happy to have remembered.
Samuel regarded the look on my face and rested his hand on mine. “Let’s give my wife a break, everyone. It was a long time ago. And now we’re here. And to Abbey’s credit, she made it through and is happily married. At least I hope she is.”
He leaned over and we kissed. “I am,” I said. “Thank you.”
Dahlia stared at us over her wineglass. “Samuel, I have to thank you for all that you’ve done with my daughter.”
“I’m not a pet, Mom.”
“I know that, Car. I just mean, all the weight you’ve lost and your internship. You’re really coming around.”
Carmen rolled her eyes.
“Well,” said Samuel. “I’m pretty lucky that I have a wonderful niece, and two wonderful sisters, and a wonderful wife.” He raised his wineglass.
I caught myself staring at him. The documentary and my visit with Aiko and Dad had left me in a mood. I watched him. He was as content and happy as he could be. I am married to that man, I thought, and he is the complete opposite of Avery. Something about the notion unnerved me.
• • •
I thought I’d check in with Carmen about Jake after everyone left and she was walking to her car. When I asked what had happened and if they’d had a fight, she responded with: “I don’t want to talk about it. We weren’t going to make it,” she added. “Besides that, I deserve better. I’m working hard and I’m going places. I need a boyfriend who’ll support me in staying focused.”
“Seems Samuel finally convinced you to break up. You sound just like him.”
“I don’t get you. You should be happy I’m not getting serious with anyone.”
“Yeah, you guys are young, but you were good together. You reminded me of Bendrix and me.”
She leaned against the car. “Samuel says you guys are doing better. I’m glad.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The couples counselor and everything. He says it’s going well.”
“Oh, he did, did he? What’s he doing telling you about our pe
rsonal business?”
“Don’t be mad, Abbey. He didn’t go into detail or anything. I just hope you stay together.”
I felt a throbbing pressure between my eyes as I ran through the various ways I was going to curse out my husband.
“Don’t be mad. Please. And don’t tell him I said anything.”
“Carmen, what goes on between Samuel and me should stay between the two of us.”
She glanced down at her phone. A smile started at the corner of her lips but disappeared. She held up her phone and showed me what looked like a mathematical equation. “See. It’s from Jake. We’re still friends.”
“What does it mean?”
“Who knows? He just keeps sending these math formulas.” She looked at his message again and put her phone away.
After saying good-bye to Carmen, I went back into the house and directly into the kitchen. Samuel was filling plastic containers with leftovers for Esther and Ruth.
I went straight up to him. “If you ever need to talk about our marriage? Talk to me, not my sister.”
He stared blankly at me, then gave me the look of a parent when he’s completely fed up with his child. Now what? He narrowed his eyes: You’re going to call me out in front of my sisters? But I was too far gone to care about him or his manliness.
He set down the container he was holding. “What are you talking about, Abbey?”
“I’m talking about Carmen. Apparently you’ve been talking to her about our marriage. Like she needs to know.”
Esther and Ruth stood with their arms folded and their heads moving back and forth between us.
“Hey, you talk to people all the time. Bendrix, I’m sure, knows everything and then some.”
“That’s different. He’s my closest friend and a grown man. Carmen is barely twenty-two. You have no business telling her anything.”
Samuel seemed to remember his sisters watching us and grabbed my arm. “Let’s talk in private. Esther, Ruth, go ahead and finish up. I’ll be right back.”
I stared down at his hand gripping into my arm and looked slowly up at him. I snatched my arm away and stormed toward the bedroom.
He closed the door and pointed at me. “We were having a nice night, and now you have to ruin it. Embarrassing me in front of my sisters. I fucking cooked for you. What’s your problem?”
“Just don’t talk about me with my sister.”
He took a step closer, still pointing. “This is something we are going to discuss with Pamela. You are sabotaging everything, Abbey. And don’t ever embarrass me in front of my sisters or my family again.”
“Fine. Just don’t talk to Carmen about our marriage.”
I sighed and went to the door. When I reached for the doorknob, I heard four distinct footsteps running down the hall. I hated my in-laws. I wasn’t all that keen on my husband at the moment either.
• • •
Jake and Bendrix sat in the back booth. Bendrix didn’t have to go into work until nine and had stopped by for coffee. I’d helped at the counter off and on until Noel arrived and then joined them. Jake wore a hoodie pulled low over his head. He’d already had two slices of pie and was working on his third. Bendrix sat across from him, comforting the poor lad by reading the paper and drinking an espresso.
I sat scooched in next to Bendrix and touched Jake’s hand. “It’s going to be okay, Jake. Tell him, Bendrix.”
Bendrix took a sip of espresso and continued to read the paper. “Yeah, it happens.”
Jake took a disinterested bite of pie and dug his hand into his pocket. He held an envelope in the air and gave it a little shake.
“What’s that?”
When he shook it again, Bendrix looked up from his tablet and snatched it.
He began to read: “‘Dear Jake Thomas Allen, we are pleased to inform you that you have been reinstated to the Mathematics Department at University of California, Berkeley.’”
“Jake, this is great!” I exclaimed.
“Congratulations,” said Bendrix.
I went around to Jake’s side of the booth and gave him a hug.
He hung his head over his cup.
“Jake! Why are you so sad? This is great news.”
“She doesn’t care. I texted her. I called. I know we broke up and everything, but I thought she’d at least talk to me.”
“I’m sure she’ll get back to you, Jake.” I took the letter from Bendrix and reread it. “You really are smart,” I said.
“Tried to tell you.”
“What was up with all the—” I waved my arms like a rapper with no rhythm.
“That was a phase. I’m like Michael Jackson: I never had a childhood.”
“Did she know you’d applied?”
“Naaaah. I wanted to surprise her. I wanted to know she liked me for my body and not my brains.” He grinned. “Ahhhhh.”
I caught Bendrix’s eye and we smiled at each other.
Jake pulled back his hoodie. “People, I have to tell you, it’s too late for me and Car. She’s been brainwashed against me. Someone doesn’t think I’m good enough, and so it’s bye-bye, Jake. I’m not going back to school for her, I’m not saying that, but I won’t lie either. This hurts. You guys remember what it’s like to be in love, don’t you?”
Bendrix cocked an eyebrow.
“Who do you think is brainwashing her?” I asked.
Jake stared back at me, deadpan.
“Samuel means well, you know,” I said. “Regardless, if Carmen loves you, she’ll come around.”
“I agree,” Bendrix said. “If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen.”
“I doubt it,” Jake said. “What hurts, though . . . The thing about it is . . . she was my bestie. So I miss her as my girl, but I what I really miss is my best friend.” He raised his fingers toward the ceiling. “Phineas Newborn, Roy Haynes, Paul Chambers. Album: We Three. Song: ‘Sneakin’ Around.’”
“Very good, Jake,” I said. “I’m impressed.”
“I’m OCD. Once I’m hooked on something, I’m hooked. Like your sister. Ahhhhh! But seriously, folks, listening to jazz helps me study. I think it has something to do with the rhythms. It helps me see all the equations and formulas. It relaxes my brain, so I don’t go insane and don’t become a pain . . . Ahhhhh!” He finished the remaining pie in four bites and gave a drum roll with his fingers. “Well, I’m outta here. You make good pie, Abbey.”
“Thanks, Jake.” He tossed his messenger bag over his shoulder and pulled his wallet from his back pocket. “It’s on me, Jake—don’t worry about it. Congratulations.”
“Thanks, Abbey. See you around, Doc.” And he left with an “Ahhhhh.”
Bendrix went back to reading.
“He was right about Samuel brainwashing Carmen,” I said. “Samuel never liked Jake, and if he’d kept his mouth closed, Jake and Carmen might still be together.”
“Try not to worry, Abbey. He’ll be fine. I’ve learned from Anthony, if it’s meant to be, it’ll be.”
I gazed at him with a sinking feeling. Jake was right; it was one thing to lose a girlfriend or romantic partner, but another thing entirely to lose your best friend. The thought came that I had lost Avery and survived, and I could lose Samuel, but if I lost Bendrix?
Without looking up, he said, “Stop staring at me like you’re falling in love. I’m taken.”
“I’m glad you’re my bestie, Bendrix.”
He studied me for a beat, comebacks and quips darting through that sharp brain of his. But he only returned his gaze to his tablet. “Me, too, grasshopper.”
19
Cool, Cool Daddy
After our argument about Carmen, Samuel and I both retreated for a while. Samuel began staying at the office for longer stretches and working on weekends. I’m sure he was relieved to have a merger to work on—a legitim
ate excuse to stay out of the house. Due to our schedules and general lack of motivation, our meetings with Pamela became more haphazard. But I will say this: We kept trying to make our baby. We’d go for weeks without having sex. When I was ovulating, though, we’d make love like athletes, focusing all our concentration on the yellow ribbon at the finish line. Afterward, I’d position myself so that my head was upside down and my torso in the air. I willed Samuel’s sperm—just one of you squirmy bastards. All we need is one!—to swim through the vast darkness of my uterus and find its way to my moon-sized ovum and penetrate. Penetrate, damn it. We agreed again that if we didn’t get pregnant within the next three months, we’d start IVF and the adoption process. We even shook on it. We needed a third to save us. We needed a baby to love so much that we’d remember we’d been in love once, too. In the meantime, we went about our lives as though waiting for the marriage fairy to float into our home, wave her magic wand, and make things better between us.
Sometime in early February, a few days after Dad and Aiko left for Germany, Bendrix held a party in honor of Anthony’s thirty-seventh birthday. Anthony loved sixties soul music and asked that everyone dress as a singer from the time period. Karaoke, he warned, would be involved.
Bendrix dressed as a member of the Temptations and wore a suit with a sequined collar and an Afro wig. Anthony came as Ray Charles, sporting sunglasses and a harness that held a harmonica near his mouth, along with a cardboard piano strapped to his midsection. I went as Diana Ross, which gave me the excuse to wear a sequined gown and high bouffant wig, along with a pair of long Audrey Hepburn gloves that went up to the elbow. Samuel had passed on joining us. He’d been in the office all day and wanted to relax with takeout and TV. Fine.
Anthony was like my dad when it came to the number of people he knew, and every inch of Bendrix’s house was filled with guests, some from as far as the distant lands of Davis and Sacramento.
It was a fun night. We danced and sang and pigged out on catered Cuban food. Aunt Nag bragged that she had a beautiful singing voice but sang “Respect” off-key and searching in vain for the beat. I made it to the karaoke machine myself after several hours of dancing. To be honest, I hadn’t had so much fun since I’d spent time with Jason back in May, almost eight months ago. I sang “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough.” I am not being humble when I say I cannot sing, but I did my best, helped by Anthony, who backed me as a Supreme. Bendrix absolutely refused to go anywhere near the karaoke machine, no matter how much we begged. As he so drolly put it: “Last I checked, hell had not frozen over.”
A Pinch of Ooh La La Page 24
