by Taylor Hart
Sterling took a small bite, chewed, and unable to stop himself, grinned at her. “It is delicious.”
Leveling him with a glare, she took another bite. “Stop.”
He felt like he was cast as the unpopular kid harassing the prom queen. “What?”
“You look like Harold.” She laughed. “Like you want to eat me.”
“Do not!” He pointed the fork in the air at her. “I cannot believe you compared me to Harold.”
“Do, too!” She insisted.
“Whatever.” He took another bite and smiled, happy she was teasing him. “I’m sooo not like Harold.”
She didn’t speak for a moment, then asked. “But you want to be, right? A director. The top director. You want him to mentor you?”
Her tone kind of blindsided him. “How come you make that sound bad?”
Sayla surprised him by looking interested. “It’s not bad. Tell me more about directing.”
Sterling lifted a napkin to his mouth, trying to decide where to start. It made him happy to talk about it since he never talked to anyone about it except Caleb, who didn’t really listen because Caleb wanted to keep pushing him to get more out of his acting career. He squinted at her, wondering if she would understand. Hoping she would. “In your photography, you find a moment to capture. You’re good, by the way.”
A blush appeared on her pale cheeks. “Thank you.”
“Directing is a lot like that. Except you have to take those micro moments and connect them to the macro storyline. You know The Ancient Art of War?”
“Your latest movie, just out.”
He nodded, happy she knew. “I was a warrior, and it took me through time and showed various fighting eras and how it changed. The hero had this Terminator kind of thing where he had to change to the future by training warriors in every epoch.”
She seemed interested, so he continued.
“But when I watched the film—and I’m only saying this to you because if I said this publicly I’d be black listed—I felt like it didn’t work. It didn’t bring to light the character’s struggle. The war he had with himself. Every time he went through time he left friends and family and a woman he loved. It wasn’t as simple as just returning to them later. He didn’t know if he’d get back, if the timeline would be the same, that type of thing. The love story was beautiful in the script. But on screen, it lacked. The director didn’t have the right angle on it. It was frustrating because the A story and B story could have made the movie dynamite. But I had no control over it.”
“The reviews are good.”
“Oh, you’ve been looking at the reviews.”
She cocked an eyebrow. “I’m into ancient time-traveling warriors.”
He laughed. “Right, Miss Anne of Green Gables.”
She laughed, too.
“Anyway, I want to bring stories to life. To make them shine and really showcase what characters can do and what stories can be. I loved stories growing up. Ten Thousand Leagues Under the Sea, Race Through Space, Dr Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. Those stories changed me. I want to be part of that for people. Changing them. I don’t just want to be the plug and play guy. Smash it up. Save the girl.”
Sayla leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms. “Who knew you were so deep?”
Another tiny invisible cable connected them.
He crossed his arms and lifted his eyebrows back. “I’m deep?”
Laughing, she threw her napkin at him. “Don’t look so happy.”
He shrugged and grinned. “You can’t tell me what to do, Miss Jones.”
“Oh, we’re back to last names?”
“I don’t know what we are to tell you the truth.”
Disengaging from him, she looked out toward his stables. “How many horses do you have?”
He wouldn’t let her off the hook, but he would be easy about it. “Two. Ever ridden?”
“No.” She kept surveying the land. “How many parties do you have here?”
He shrugged. “I’ve actually never hosted a party. I never had a reason. Plus, my friend Cooper has that convention center on his property all pretty and neat. If there’s ever something major, it’s usually there. Hunter and Summer even had their wedding reception there.”
Fastening her eyes back to him, she asked. “Is that where your wedding reception will be?”
The intensity of the question coming from her hit the center of his chest. But he knew better than to answer that question. Instead he asked, “Can I come to Rome with you?”
Frowning, she looked away.
He pushed. “As friends. Two rooms.”
“Are you serious?” She met his eyes.
He spread his hands. “I don’t have a movie gig until September. That’s a month and a half with nothing, and the stuff with Harold won’t start until October.”
She still frowned. “Why would you want to do that?”
“Because I love Rome, and I’ve never gone with anybody. I mean, not with anybody other than movie cast people.” He felt like a giant loser begging a girl not to be his date, but just to hang out as friends. Pitiful, but he didn’t care. “Please.”
Leaning back into her chair, she sighed and looked puzzled. “Really?”
“Yes.”
“No.” Her face turned sad, and she got a faraway look in her eye. “I’m sorry.”
Immediately, he knew why. “Because you and Rob always wanted to go on this trip together.”
Blinking rapidly, she nodded. “Yes.”
Man, this woman was as determined as a race horse. She’d saved and scrimped and even went on a fake date to make it happen. Part of him admired her laser-like focus. “Okay.”
Could she ever get over Rob? He sighed, thinking maybe friendship would be all that he ever got, but that uncertainty in her eyes made him wonder.
“Honestly, he sounds like an amazing guy.”
Something sparked in her eyes, and the side of her lip turned up. “I think you actually might be sincere.”
He nodded. “I am.”
Blinking again, she leaned back in the chair, still holding the necklace and looking out over the property. “He was.”
For some reason, Sterling felt something change inside of him. He wasn’t jealous of Rob anymore. He wasn’t trying to push him out of the way and her into a relationship. That was allowing their relationship to change. It felt slow but he was okay with that. Different than he’d ever felt about any woman before. There was no ulterior motive. It was the first time he’d ever truly felt like he wanted to do the best thing for someone else.
Whether that was to be her friend or something more, her needs would come first.
Chapter 19
“Sayla, I think everything looks good.” Dr. Shwartz lightly touched the outside incisions.
Sayla lay on the doctor’s table, feeling vulnerable. She had to smile to herself at how much of a fight Sterling had put up about wanting to come into the doctor’s room with her.
Moments ago, when she’d peeked out, she’d found him sitting in the lobby wearing a baseball cap and full-on beard. He obviously wasn’t reading the Woman’s Home magazine in his hands. She saw him tapping his leg and trying to be patient.
It made her smile, and it touched her. Maybe she wasn’t ready for more than friendship, but it sure felt good to have a friend.
Once again, she could see he wasn’t the polished movie star he first appeared to be. Underneath the façades he wore was just a guy. Maybe a dang good-looking guy.
Sayla sat up.
The doctor typed something into his laptop. “I’m releasing you. You are cleared for travel.”
Immensely pleased, Sayla smiled. “Thank you.”
“The tests came back that everything is benign, so you don’t need to worry.”
“Will I be able to have children?” The words came out shakier than she had anticipated.
His eyebrows lifted, and he turned to face her. The doctor was in his mid-fifties and seemed like a kind
soul. With his crooked mustache and glasses that fell awkwardly to match, Sayla felt comfortable with him.
He scooted his rolling chair toward her and put a hand on hers. “Sayla, the best I can tell you is … maybe. The human body does miraculous things. Just because one ovary is out of commission doesn’t mean the other one can’t make up for it.” He tugged his hand back. “You just focus on healing for now, and we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, okay?”
Nodding, she hated the fact her mind flashed to Sterling and when he’d spoken about having a family. Sons. Playing in the pool, whooping Hunter’s kids’ butts. She pushed that aside. It didn’t matter.
She gave the doctor a smile. “Thank you for everything.”
He stood and walked to the door. “I want to see you back in another month.”
A couple of minutes later, she came out of the office and saw the picture of exactly what she knew she would see—Sterling pretending to read a magazine.
The minute he saw her, he was up and throwing the magazine on the table, concern in his eyes, but he waited for her to reach him.
“I’m fine.”
Relief washed over his face, and he gingerly pulled her into a hug, keeping her against his chest for a few seconds.
His relief spread to her. She tried to focus on how grateful she was everything was okay and not think about how this seriously lessened her chance of ever having a baby.
Another reason not to be in a relationship with Sterling. A big reason to keep her distance.
Pulling back from her, he kept her hand. “Let’s go.”
Even though everything inside of her wanted to let go of his hand, she couldn’t. The strength of it. The solidness of having him here with her. Selfishly, she wanted that.
She led him to the billing counter and waited for the receptionist. What a relief to have the money in her account.
Money she’d been given for going out with Sterling. Money she knew Rob would say was a miracle. Did she still believe in miracles?
A receptionist came and sat down at the desk.
“I need to pay my bill,” said Sayla.
Sterling was beside her, but she didn’t care.
The clerk asked her name and brought up her bill. “Okay, looks like it’s sixteen, thousand, eight-hundred, and fifty-five dollars. I have you down as a self-pay?”
The pit of her gut felt like it’d been sucker punched. “What?”
“Your insurance isn’t paying, right? Are you looking to set up a payment plan?”
“No, I mean, are you sure about that amount? I was expecting a little over half that.” Sayla carefully lowered herself into the chair.
“Let me see.” The receptionist tapped one of her long nails on the desk as she clicked through Sayla’s account. “Okay, it looks like there were some complications with the surgery, and the doctor had to bring in the other surgeon for assistance. You can settle up with the other surgeon separately if you want. Or I can take care of the whole thing for you.”
Confusion and anger surged into her. There would be no trip if she paid it all. “I … I can’t pay the whole thing.”
“That’s no problem. We have various options for payment plans.”
Sayla’s mind whirled with the new information.
Sterling touched her hand and reached for his wallet. He spoke to the clerk. “I got it.”
But that only served to anger her and pushed her to action. “No, he doesn’t.” Swiftly she wrote a check for the full amount, letting go of her dream in an instant.
“Sayla.” Sterling’s voice was a low growl as he watched her write the check.
All she could do was shake her head. Angrily, she ripped the check out and handed it to the clerk.
Then she turned and headed for the door.
Quickly, he matched her steps. “Why didn’t you let me cover it?”
Annoyed, she moved to his Porsche, she wasn’t mad at him, but she was bubbling with anger. “Stop it.”
He unlocked the doors, and before he could reach her side, she flung her door open and climbed in.
His expression was one of confusion. He went around to the driver’s side.
“Start it, please. I want to get home.”
“Sayla.”
“I’m not one of the many women on your arm because I need something. I don’t need you to pay for stuff.”
Reluctantly, he turned the engine and began driving her toward the lake.
Without Sayla’s permission, a tear slipped down her cheek as she looked out the window. She’d practically been there until everything turned around in a minute. Now she would have to work at least six more months to get the money she needed.
Annoyed, she slammed her hand down on the door, and more tears burned down her cheeks. She knew she was acting ridiculous, but she didn’t care. Though she did hate herself for treating him like a monster.
As soon as they pulled up to her cabin, Sayla climbed out, leaving the door of the stupid car open and running toward the cabin.
Completely embarrassed and ashamed for not expressing more gratitude, she ran up the cabin steps, turning back at her door. Every day together, it occurred to her even more how different she and Sterling were. The fact that he didn’t blink at that amount of money was insane.
He stood at the bottom of the stairs, and she was surprised to see tears in his eyes. “Sayla.”
Pointing her finger at him, she shook her head. Anger at something she couldn’t even put a finger on emanated from every pore. “You don’t understand. You will never understand. I’m not like you. I can’t just whip out a card and put sixteen thousand dollars on it. I—”
His eyes hardened. “I’m not expecting you to be like me,” he interrupted.
She threw up her hands. “You don’t get it. This just shows how different we are. How different we grew up.” The car was beeping loudly, reminding him to take his keys out. “That car. It cost what, five times as much as the life savings I just blew? And it’s just your Jackson car. One of your Jackson cars. How can you not see this?”
She bent for the key under the new frog Sterling had given her and shoved it into the lock. As usual, it didn’t open easily. Sobs began to pour out of her. Not just because of the money.
No, the money was just a tiny part of it.
Not the trip either, but about how everything in her life was wrong after Rob died.
This was just one more in a long string of examples.
Sterling was there, taking the door handle and jimmying it just the right way with the key. The door gave way, and he pushed it open.
Then it was just them, staring into each other’s eyes.
Her soul was bare. “It wasn’t fair when he died. He left me. Alone again. I can’t do it. I’ve tried. I’ve tried, and I just feel … lost.” Covering her face, her body shook. “I’m a complete screw-up. I was before Rob, and I am again. I can barely take care of myself.”
Sterling’s arms enfolded her, pulling her to his chest and making her cry harder. Feeling more and more like a complete idiot, hating that she was breaking down, hating she was letting him comfort her.
“I don’t understand how you could even want to be near me.”
Keeping his arms around her, he said, “My attorneys are researching how to start a philanthropic organization that funds the families of the babies who are having surgery. This will make it possible for the families to come over and be with them.”
“What?” She jerked back from him.
“That’s because of you.”
She was completely stunned.
“Because of your example. Of your compassion. Because someone like you came into my life. You made me better. That’s on you.”
Unable to explain why, she relaxed into him.
They stood that way for a few minutes, and all she could feel were the small circles he was rubbing on her shoulder.
Time slowed, paused. The moment became something else. Something intimate. She felt his
strength. Not just his hard arms and chest, but an emotional support she’d never found anywhere else except with Rob. The one person she allowed to step in and lend her strength had left her. It terrified her to be in a similar position.
“It’s okay, Sayla.” He kissed the top of her head. “You have been through so much. You don’t have to do it alone.”
Looking up, she saw the tears on his face. “You showed me that there were still real people in the world. Real and tough and determined and willing to do the hard things.” He let out a light laugh, gently wiping tears from her eyes. “Do you know how amazing it is for you to take care of babies from other countries with heart conditions? You love them and send them back healthy to their parents.” He wiped his eyes. “And you’re not even sure you can have children.”
Tears flowed down her cheeks. “Doesn’t that make you not want me?”
Shaking his head, he gave her a fierce look. “Now you listen to me, I want you. And all these things you see between us … you need to let go of. You look at my money and see that it is something between us. But crap, woman, my money is nothing more than a tool. A tool I can use for good or stupid stuff. You’ve inspired me to use it for good stuff. So if I want to pay a medical bill for you, it doesn’t mean I’m so far different than you. It means I want to help you. So you need to get that through your head.”
“Stop. Please.”
But he didn’t stop. “I think the biggest thing between us is your inability to forgive yourself for the accident. Sayla, you’ve got to do that. You’ve got to.”
“Don’t talk to me about this.” Her voice was tight, controlled, but on the brink of letting go.
“Sayla, we’ve got to talk about all this. You didn’t kill your husband. It was an accident. So you’ve got to let it go.” He shouted.
“But I wanted him dead that night!” She shouted back.
He stared at her, completely silent.
“Go!” She ordered. Tears ran down her face, and all the old feelings of guilt assaulted her. Turning for the door, she felt a breakdown coming. “And don’t come back!”
Chapter 20
