But there’s one problem. I can’t imagine ever letting Ethan go, either.
Chapter 18
I spend the night at Zach’s. And the night after that.
Being at his place feels so right. I go home once to grab some things, but then I’m right back to his penthouse, sleeping in his bed, using his shower, eating in his kitchen. While I’m there, everything feels so right.
But at work, it’s a different story. Graham keeps shooting me questionable looks, and a few times I catch him whispering with other people while laughing and looking my way. Needless to say, it looks like rumors about me and the boss are circulating.
Great. As if coming into work after Ethan kicked me out of his office isn’t bad enough.
The word around the paper is that Ethan isn’t here, and now I feel certain that he’s shunning me. He probably wants nothing to do with me ever again.
Which is why I’m so surprised when I get a text message from him out of the blue.
Meet me at 6 tonight. Hotel Indigo.
My heart pounds as I read the message over and over. There’s no clue as to what he wants to talk about, so, like the last time we met, I plan on arriving prepared for anything.
At a few minutes till six, I arrive at the hotel, a spot where the lobby’s floor is so shiny it practically reflects my image. There’s one employee for every task, from opening the front door to opening the door to the bar.
In the dark-paneled bar, I find a seat on a plush, red couch in the corner. A server comes over, and I order a glass of wine. I know I probably won’t drink it, though. My pulse is racing, my nerves out of control.
“Noelle,” a familiar voice says.
I pop up out of my seat and whirl around. Ethan’s only a few feet away, wearing a black suit and a jaw of stubble. I have to clutch the back of the couch for stability.
“How are you?”
He steps forward, but stops an arm’s length away. His eyes roam across my face, but I can tell he’s hesitant to touch me.
“G-good,” I stammer. “How are you?”
“Well.” He curtly nods.
The server is back, setting a tumbler of some kind of liquor on the table in front of the couch before silently backing off.
“You must come here a lot,” I comment.
“I’m staying in a suite here for a few weeks while my new place is being renovated.”
“Ah.”
It feels like talking to a stranger. No—like talking to someone I knew a long time ago, someone I loved a long time ago, but who I haven’t seen in years.
But were we ever really that close? Or is Ethan just my boss—my boss that I made a mistake with?
My intuition tells me it’s more than that, but how am I to know? Maybe I’m just kidding myself here. Zach and I are together now. I should be happy. It should be time to let Ethan go.
But, looking at him, I know it’s not that simple. Just like with Zach, Ethan and I connect in a deep way. I could have the most perfect boyfriend at home—and I do—but I would never be able to wipe Ethan from my heart’s hard drive.
He clears his throat and looks away. “Let’s have a seat.”
We perch on opposite ends of the couch, the cushion between us feeling like a thousand miles.
Ethan clasps his hands and leans into his knees. “I guess you might have noticed I haven’t been at the paper.”
“Yes,” I respond with a thick tongue.
“I’ve been at my office across town.”
I nod, not sure what to say.
Ethan’s jaw tightens. “I care for you, Noelle.”
All the tension leaves my body in a second. “I care for you, too.”
He curtly nods. “I’m not trying to cut you down. I want you to succeed.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
His fingers are twisting around each other, a rare sign of anxiety. Funny. I would have guessed Ethan hardly ever got nervous.
“I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but there have been some rumors going around the office.”
My tension is back, taking shape in my stiff shoulders.
“That’s what I suspected.”
“Don’t worry. I located the source of them. There won’t be any more talk.”
By ‘source’, I can only assume he means Graham.
“Were they lies?” I ask.
That seems to baffle him. “Well, there were… Someone was saying that you and I were meeting up while at work.”
“That sounds about right to me.”
The corners of his mouth twitch, his hardened expression vanishing. “Right. But no one needs to know that.”
“No,” I giggle. “They don’t.”
Our laughs subside, leaving a cozy aftermath.
“Thank you for contacting me,” I tell him. “I was worried that you hated me.”
“No, Noelle,” he softly says. “I don’t.”
I nod, wholeheartedly believing him. “I want to show you something.”
His eyebrow raises in question, but I don’t say anything as I pull the two printed articles from my bag. Silently, I lay them both out on the cushion between us.
“This is the piece we talked about,” I explain, pointing to the article on Zach that I finished the other day. “And this…”
My hand hovers over the other pile. It’s longer, the finished product amounting to several pages.
“It’s something I wrote for myself,” I explain. “Not to be published, but just to use to make sense of things. I’d like you to read it.”
I bite down nervously on my bottom lip as Ethan picks up the second article and begins to read. For a minute, his gaze silently flicks across the page. I wait painfully, my hands pressed tight together.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see a familiar figure move. I don’t look that way, though, not wanting to draw attention to the bar.
Ethan runs his fingers across his mouth, reading aloud.
“Though they say time heals all wounds, the exact opposite is often the case. Sometimes the passage of years only serves to widen a divide, to increase the pain that one simple moment created. When too many sunrises to count have passed, what does the past become, other than a faint idea for us each to mold into our own liking? It is human nature, this tendency to rewrite history, to believe in alternate circumstances. It does not make any of us wrong. But it does make us lonely.”
I gulp. I’ve heard my writing read out loud before, but never when the piece was such a personal one.
Ethan falls back into silence as he finishes the article. With a grand finale that comes both too late and too soon, he puts the paper down.
“You received all this information from Harmony?”
I nod, hands still painfully locked together. “She’s sorry about what happened that night. She didn’t know that it led to the end of your friendship.”
Ethan looks down at his own clasped hands, lowering his face so far I can’t see his eyes. “I’ve been fucking up a lot lately.”
The words shake me. Ethan Ford Jr., cocky multi-billionaire, newspaper mogul, a personality of steel and grit…admitting he messed up?
But then I realize that I’m thinking of the persona of Ethan Ford Jr. The person I’m seeing in front of me doesn’t fit that facade at all. This man, the Ethan I’ve come to know, is just as complicated as the rest of us.
He looks at me. “I like it. We’ll publish it.”
My mouth falls open. “I… We… Huh?”
Ethan nods. “Yes. Next week.”
“But it’s so personal.”
“But real.” His eyes soften. “Don’t tell me you wrote this without hoping it would be published.”
“Honestly? I didn’t really think of that. I mean, you and Zach are both so private. I wrote it for us.”
“For us?”
My face grows warm.
“Yes. For the three of us. I wanted to understand what happened. And I wanted you two to make up. Maybe that’s some crazy f
antasy that I have, but that’s the truth. I couldn’t understand why you guys went so long without seeing each other. It just…it broke my heart, Ethan.”
My voice cracks and my eyes grow wet. I’m not ashamed for Ethan to see me cry. I’ve already shown part of my soul by writing the piece on him and Zach. At this point, full disclosure is what really matters.
Ethan surprises me by reaching across the couch and taking my hand.
“It broke me too when it happened. And now I get just how much I screwed up. If I had just talked to him…” He bitterly shakes his head. “I was too full of myself back then. I thought I was this young stud who knew everything.”
I squeeze his hand. “It’s okay.”
“We’ll publish it,” he says again. “But we have to talk to Zach first, get his okay.”
“It’s fine with me,” Zach says from right behind the couch.
Ethan pulls his hand from mine in surprise and stands up. A heavy moment passes as the two men just look at each other. My breathing is ragged, my mind having difficulty believing my eyes.
Here they are, after all these years: two ex-best friends, together at last. The two men I care for deeply, looking into each other’s eyes.
“I wanted to come,” Zach explains into the silence. “This wasn’t Noelle’s idea.”
Ethan glances at me, and I silently look back at him.
“I was waiting over at the bar.” Zach nods his head toward it.
“How much did you hear?” Ethan tensely asks.
“Just that last part, about publishing the article.”
Ethan gives a sharp nod. “Well, then.”
More silence.
“Sit down,” I gently tell Zach, picking up the papers and scooting my way to the center of the couch.
He sharply glances at Ethan.
“Sit down,” Ethan agrees.
I want to sing from happiness as they take their seats on either side of me.
“What do you know about this?” Ethan gestures at the papers I’ve set on the coffee table.
Zach adjusts his suit jacket. “I read the article. From my perspective, it’s an honest report.” Our eyes catch, and he gives me a little smile. I grin back.
Ethan is slowly nodding. “I made a mistake, Zach. I should have talked to you instead of shutting you out.”
“You thought I’d stolen your girlfriend.”
Ethan drops his head into his hands with a heavy sigh. “Maybe if it wasn’t graduation night, if it was the middle of the year… What I’m saying is, walking away from you that night was too simple. It wasn’t easy, though. It haunted me. But it was…”
“I understand,” Zach gently answers.
Ethan nods. “You look good.”
“So do you.”
My heart swells. “You guys, I seriously think I’m going to cry.”
Zach chuckles and squeezes my knee. I can feel Ethan clocking the touch.
“You’re the one who did this, Noelle,” Ethan says. “If you ever took no for an answer—”
“Life would be boring,” Zach interrupts.
Ethan’s eyes dance. “That it would be.”
“I should go,” I say, collecting my papers and putting them all into one neat pile. “You guys need to catch up.”
“No,” Ethan quickly answers. “Stay.”
His eyes are on mine, holding me down. Zach has removed his hand from my leg, but I can feel the energy he’s emitting. He wants me to remain as well.
“What’s the deal with you two?” Ethan asks suddenly.
It’s such a direct question, I don’t know how to respond. My mouth is hanging open, but nothing but air comes out. I look to Zach for help, but he only raises his eyebrows, signaling that I should be the one to answer.
“We, uh… We’ve been seeing each other,” I tell Ethan.
I expect a flash of anger, but he only nods thoughtfully. “All right. Does this mean that you and I are at an end?”
My heart feels like it’s bleeding. I glance back at Zach. We haven’t talked about Ethan since the conversation in Zach’s kitchen the other night, with the exception of me telling him about this meeting and him insisting that he come along.
“We haven’t discussed that,” Zach answers for me. “This is new, so there aren’t any exact stipulations yet.”
“I see,” Ethan says in a low voice.
“What do you want, Noelle?” Zach squeezes my hand.
Ethan’s watching me as well, interest etched all over his face. My head pounds, nerves taking me over. “I want…”
Do I dare say it?
“Am I supposed to be honest?” I ask.
Ethan and Zach glance at each other, and Ethan smirks. For a second, I see the rebirth of the friendship they gave up on so long ago.
“Yes,” Ethan says. “Be honest.”
I look back at Zach one more time for confirmation. He gives me an encouraging nod, and I realize that he truly is here for me.
I also realize that I want the same from Ethan.
“I want you both,” I say, my voice small.
My declaration hangs there for a while, and neither of the guys say anything.
“In what way?” Ethan finally asks.
I swallow down my fear. “The… The way that I’ve had you guys.”
Ethan’s pupils dilate. “And what way is that?” he demands.
I lock our gaze. “Together,” I whisper. “At the same time.”
His breathing picks up. He likes the idea.
Zach’s hand rubs my lower back, making excitement and need burst through me.
“You want a threesome?” Ethan specifies.
“Yes,” I answer.
Ethan’s eyebrows rise. “Zach?”
I slide my gaze over to Zach, uncertain of what I’m going to find there. My new boyfriend’s eyes latch onto mine, and he gives a nod.
Ethan grins. “My suite is on the top floor.”
Chapter 19
What…the…hell.
This is really happening. Ethan is pulling me by the hand across the lobby, Zach following close behind.
The elevator doors open and we step inside. The instant the doors close, shutting out the rest of the world, Ethan pulls me against him. Our lips lock, his tongue hungrily pressing against mine.
I can feel Zach only inches away, watching us. His gaze heats up my back, stoking the fire that’s building between my legs. The very idea of having one man I care for watch me kiss a second man I care for makes me feel like I’m melting.
We break off the kiss with a wet gasp, and Ethan turns me around, offering me to Zach.
Within an instant, I’m across the elevator and in Zach’s arms. His hands work their way under my shirt as his mouth claims me. I remember what he told me in the kitchen, about how he said I was his.
I’m his, and he’s sharing me.
The gratitude filling me in this moment could not be any stronger.
With the elevator opening again, both Zach and Ethan grasp my hands. We move down the hallway, taking our time as I squeeze their palms.
Ethan unlocks his suite, and we enter a gorgeous living room. The place is lavishly decorated in gold and white and has a massive window showcasing the city, but there’s not much time to take in the view. Ethan is taking me once more, holding the sides of my face as he kisses me deep.
“I’ve never done this before,” I gasp as we break the kiss.
Zach kisses the back of my neck. “I haven’t either.”
Ethan grins wickedly. “Guess I’m the expert here. Don’t worry.” He loosens his tie. “It comes a lot more naturally than you would expect.” He presses his hand against my waist. “Tonight is about you, Noelle.”
Zach comes to stand next to me, rubbing the back of my neck as he does so. “It is,” he agrees. “You brought us back together.”
“So we should thank you for it,” Ethan says.
I look between the two of them, not sure what to say. How do I express m
y appreciation for these two? My love? My desire?
“Just relax and enjoy it,” Zach whispers in my ear. A shiver goes down my back, and I close my eyes.
Zach gently lifts my face, lovingly kissing me as Ethan presses against my back. Gentle caresses cover my hips and waist. As Zach’s tongue slides across mine, Ethan pushes my skirt up and massages my thighs.
I wrap my arms around Zach’s neck, kissing him harder as I push my rear back against Ethan. It’s so much like the dream I had with the two of them in it, except this time it’s even better. I can pinch myself all I want to, and I’ll never wake up.
Ethan pulls my skirt down, freeing me from the fabric’s tight shackles. At the same time, Zach unbuttons my blouse. I feel my nipples growing tighter beneath my bra, aching with need.
With my outer layer gone, I’m left only wearing my bra, panties, pantyhose, and heels. Ethan gets down on his knees next to me, his hands still working my ass. I sigh in pleasure, nuzzling my face into Zach’s neck, and he kisses the top of my head.
“The couch,” Zach instructs.
Ethan stands, taking my hand and leading me to the center of the room. There, he sets me in the middle of the couch. Both men stand in front of me, their faces flushed and filled with desire. The bulges in their pants are growing, making my mouth water.
I can’t rush this, though. I’ve been wanting this night so badly, never believing it could really happen. Now that it’s here, I’m not going to waste a single minute.
“God, I want to rip those tights right off of her,” Ethan hisses.
“You’re not the only one,” Zach replies.
A low moan escapes my mouth. They could talk like this all night long, and I would be happy. As it is, though, Zach makes the next move, removing his jacket and shirt and dropping them on the floor.
Ethan follows, and I keep my eyes on them as they undress, afraid to miss anything. Within a minute, they have only their boxers on. Zach takes a seat on the couch next to me and turns my face to his.
Our tongues dance together, sometimes scraping against the very backs of our teeth and sometimes not even making it into each other’s mouths. He lays one arm behind my shoulders and runs the other hand across my chest. Through my padded bra, he kneads my breasts, working them around in that way he knows I like.
His Eternal Flame Page 56
