“Well then. Reckon we can accommodate you. Just for the night.”
I nodded my thanks.
“Tam, Zip, get him down to the bunker. Shoo.”
The two boys moved at once, pushing me out into the hall while the older adults gathered together. They slammed the door behind us, throwing the hall into blackness.
“Hold up. I forgot my torch,” Tam said. “Can you make it without killing yourself, fish?”
“Yeah. And the tag’s Shade,” I said. I’d have to ask Kor why I kept getting called a fish.
“Shade. Nice.”
“Where’s that mean old man got to?” Zip asked. “The one who kicked us out when we found your stuff?”
I wanted to lie and tell him that I’d kicked Kor out, because I thought it might amuse him, but I just shrugged and said, “He left. For a bit.”
I let my fingers brush the walls as we walked, hoping it would keep me from tripping; I felt dizzier than ever, and I’d started to wonder if it wasn’t just lack of food. The muzziness, the headache, the tightness in my gut…it all felt wrong. I swallowed and kept moving. One step at a time.
We reached the stairwell, and a few pale streams of light from an outside streetlamp crept through the dingy windows, just enough for me to see the steps beneath my feet. At the bottom of the stairs Tam found a torch, and thus armed he and Zip led me deep into the building and finally down into the underground.
There were no beds there. No barracks, no mess hall, nothing like the Hole. People of all ages lined the wide corridor, sitting right on the cement floor wrapped in manky blankets and old coats. Some sat and chatted in small groups around low-burning oil lamps. Others sprawled out, unabashedly trying to sleep. No fires warmed the chill, damp air, though I caught sight of the occasional tin barrel that might have served to hold a blaze.
The corridor went on and on, and the bodies went on and on. I’d always known the city had its problems, but I’d never imagined I would see so many poor living like this. The stench was enough to make me lightheaded. People coughed and sneezed, and I could just imagine how horrified Dr. Besdin would be to witness it. The place could be a breeding ground of disease, and no one seemed to care enough to prevent it.
“God,” I whispered, stopping where the corridor branched. “You people live here?”
Tam frowned at me through his matted blonde hair. “And you’re that proud?” he asked, just barely turning his nose up.
“Thought your boss said you don’t take in strays. Are all these folks useful members of your crew?”
Zip snickered. “Nope, that’s just what Coolie says to warn folks off. I mean, we’re crammed in here. He dan’ want extras.”
“Hm,” I said, scanning the crowd. “Not sure if you noticed, but you’ve got a whole empty building sitting on top of you. Why not move some of these folks upstairs?”
“Cause the coppers would find out and smoke us all out.”
“Why should they care? The buildings aren’t being used.”
Tam snorted. “You talk like they’re reasonable. They’re not. They just hate us, is all. Think we’re ganna burn down the city if they let us live halfway like human beings. They dan’ get that we’re more likely to do that if we’re stuck down here.”
I frowned, trying not to bristle at the insult to the police. It made no sense to me, but then, I’d never even known how many people lived on the fringes of society. Maybe that’s what the officials wanted. Let the poor live underground, and society could pretend they didn’t exist. They were the inconvenient blight on the city, the evidence that their laws hadn’t worked.
Tam pushed farther down the narrow side corridor until we reached a blank stretch of wall. Zip flopped down first, shivering as he tried to pull his hands inside his sleeves. Tam slid down the wall to sit next to him, but even though he wore a leather coat with hardly a patch on it, he didn’t take it off to lend the younger boy. I remembered what Zip had told me—most people here, as long as they were warm, didn’t care if everyone else were freezing.
I shuddered. That was not how I wanted to live my life.
“What’re you here for, Shade?” Tam asked, rapping his fingers on his knees. “You look like you come from somewhere…not here.”
“Istia,” I said, and looked away, hoping to end the conversation.
It didn’t work.
“Istia!” Tam echoed.
“Where’s that?” Zip asked.
“It’s an island. Up north.” I felt Tam’s scrutinizing gaze fix on me. “What’re you doing here? You here for the rebellion?”
I bit my tongue on asking, What rebellion?
Instead I kept my face turned aside, watching the corridor another ten seconds, then turned and met Tam’s eyes without a word or a nod.
Zip asked it. “What rebellion?”
But Tam kept staring at me, eyes narrowed up a bit. “If you are, you’re in the wrong place. Rivano’s the man you want to see.”
“He said he was looking—” Zip’s voice trailed off and he peeked at me, curious.
“Looking for Rivano?” Tam finished. “Are you?”
I pulled up one knee and leaned my arm on it, staring straight at him.
“Don’t make assumptions about me,” I said, lowering my voice. “We’ve only just met.”
“What rebellion?” Zip asked again, punching Tam in the arm.
I hid a smile, because I kept thinking what good friends Zip and Bugs might be, if they lived in the same world.
Tam snorted. “They’re ganna bring hell down on all of us, whether we want it or no.”
“Is that why you won’t go to the Hole?” I asked. “Is that why you’ve got all these cold, hungry people hiding down here? You don’t want to be mixed up in Rivano’s plot?”
“Obviously,” Tam said. “If you beat up the Meats, why aren’t you over there now? Wasn’t that your ticket in?”
I leaned my head back against the cold concrete wall. “Assumptions. What makes you think you know anything about me or why I’m here?”
“Correct me, then.”
“No,” I said, smiling thinly.
Tam swore and wrapped his arms around his knees, burying his head. “Have it your way. Make yourself comfortable.”
I hugged my arms around my stomach, more from the pain in my gut than the cold. “Zip?”
Zip paused in the middle of lying down, drawing a long snuffle through his freckled nose. “Yup?”
“Do you know who the Bricks are?”
“Oh, hell no,” Tam said, lifting his head. “Zip, not a word.”
“What?” I cried. “It’s just a question!”
“Yeah, and if you’re asking, then maybe you shouldn’t know.”
“Sorry, Shade,” Zip said, shrugging. He threw himself onto the cold floor and curled his arms around his head. “Sleep well!”
I ground my teeth and thudded my head against the wall. A half an hour or so trickled by, but still I couldn’t make myself sleep. All around me people snored, coughed, fidgeted. Between the constant noise and the hellish cold, I couldn’t decide if I wanted to scream or light the whole place on fire. And the nausea kept gnawing at me until I wished I would be sick just so the pain would stop.
Finally I got to my feet and picked my way down to the end of the corridor. It was empty here—the three of us had made the end of the line of bodies—and only one gas lamp battled the darkness. It made an eerie pulse of light, flickering, fading, flickering, lighting up nothing but a chained door and a stairwell to the upper floors.
I rubbed my hands on my arms, wincing as I aggravated my collection of bruises. My thoughts roved a thousand places at once. Rebellion. Istia. Rivano. The Bricks. The city’s police, silently driving the poorest of my people underground.
My people.
What a farce. I’d thought more about this city and these people as mine today than I had for seventeen years.
With one hand tight on my stomach, I turned to go back to Tam and Zi
p, and flinched back in surprise. A girl a little younger than me stood just behind me like a conjured specter, watching me through the hugest brown eyes I’d ever seen. The deep purple circles rimming them made them even more startling—that, and the sickly pallor of her face. I hadn’t even heard her come up behind me.
“What do you want?” I asked, the question rasping out harsher than I meant.
I was shivering now, like a mongrel dog. I couldn’t help it.
She shrugged, her rough brown blanket slipping on her shoulders. “Heard you ask the boys about the Bricks,” she said, her voice lilting, dreamlike.
She poked one hand from beneath the blanket to move her long black hair away from her eyes. I stared at her arm. I’d never seen anyone so skeletally thin in my life. The sight of it made my stomach churn, and I swallowed and swallowed again to fight back the sickness.
“Do you know who they are?”
“Maybe.” She smiled wanly. “You got some sweets?”
“I don’t know what you want.”
“You’re funny.” She reached out, fingers shaking, to touch my swollen lip. I pulled back instinctively, and she frowned up at me. “So sad. It must hurt. Sweets help. Help you forget. Dan’ you have any sweets?”
“No,” I said. “I’ve got nothing.”
“Me either.” She shook her head. “Nothing, nothing.”
“You can’t tell me anything about the Bricks?”
“No sweets. Can’t remember.”
Stars, the girl was trying to bribe me. And by the glassy look in her eyes, I had a feeling I finally understood what the sweet shop dealt in. I clenched my jaw and moved to pass her, gently pushing her aside. Without any warning her arms snaked out, grabbing me around the waist. She had more strength in those frail arms than I could have imagined. They gripped me tighter and tighter until my bruised ribs screamed in pain.
“Get your hands off me,” I hissed, taking hold of one of them and trying to pry away her fingers.
“Dan’ leave me in the cold…dan’ leave me…”
I stared down at her, bewildered and speechless. A boy would’ve got what was coming to him, but I didn’t think the girl even knew what she was doing. And yet her arms were crushing me, refusing to let me go.
“They dan’ care,” she whispered. “None of them. They dan’ care about me…dan’ try to keep me warm. And I’m so cold…”
I gripped her by the shoulders and said, very slowly, “Let go of me, and tell me what you need.”
Someone laid a hand on my shoulder. I glanced back to find Tam standing behind me, face grave. But he just met my gaze without a word, then turned to the girl clinging desperately to me.
“Liza,” he said, his voice soft and calm, like he was talking to a child or a frightened dog. “Look. Sugar.”
He held out his hand, flashing a small brown paper packet. The girl loosened her grip on me, just enough so she could see it.
“Come on, Liza. Let him gan.”
“Is it for me?”
“If you let him gan.”
Liza peered up at me, narrowing her eyes for a long moment. Then she reached up and took my face in her hands, and before I could pull away, she brushed a kiss across my bruised eye.
“So sad,” she said again, and turned her haunted eyes to Tam. “For me, Tam?”
He shook the packet until she’d fixated on it, then he pressed it into her hand. A thin, wavering smile fluttered across her lips and she backed away, holding the thing to her chest as if we would try to steal it away. When neither of us moved, she bolted up the steps and disappeared into the shadows.
“What’d you do?” I hissed. “That stuff…”
“It’s killing her, I know,” Tam said, sighing. “But she won’t let us break her off of it. She gets in these fits when she’s gone too long without it, and she’s like a child. You can’t reason with her. She latches on to something or,” he nodded at me, “someone, and she won’t leave off till she’s satisfied. She’ll do anything for that stuff. Anything.” He shook his head and turned away, shoulders slumped. “Well. We’re all dying of something down here.”
I stared at him. My stomach churned, and I barely made it into the stairwell before I lost it.
Chapter 8 — Hayli
“Hayli, focus.”
I shook my head and frowned at Derrin. He leaned on the plain desk across from me, staring at me so hard I thought I’d catch fire, like a wee ant under a magnifying glass. When I just stared back, my knees pulled up and my arms tying them together, he sighed and stood straight.
“I can’t help you improve if you don’t give me anything to work with,” he said. “What’s wrong today?”
He’d been trying to teach me how to sneak and hide and disappear ever since Kantian had beat up Jig instead of me, but I just couldn’t seem to function. I felt like my broken pocket watch. I had all the clockwork gears and the numbers and the hands, but the wheels just wouldn’t turn. It’d been even worse the last couple days, because no matter where I hunted for Shade, I never found him, and that had got me mother-henning about him in the most annoying way.
I realized a bit guiltily that I couldn’t even recall what Derrin had been talking about. As long as he didn’t ask—
“Do you even remember the last thing I said?”
Curses.
“Sorry, Derrin.” I fiddled with the knife he’d placed on the table. It was a tiny thing, no longer or wider than my bitty finger. “I just kept thinking…”
He sighed and locked his elbows, bowing his head. “If this is about Shade—”
“No! It’s not, actually, or not exactly. It’s that…I Shifted again the other night. I couldn’t help it. I was in bed, and then I got itchy like that time we had the fleas…itching, itching…and all I wanted was to get out and fly. And I did.” I hesitated. I couldn’t look at him. “I think…I think I can remember something. I think I saw Shade.”
He didn’t move a bit while I talked, but soon as I’d done he asked, curious and quiet, “What about him?”
“He was sitting on a step somewhere in the rain. That’s all I remember.”
“Hm,” he said, and pushed away from the table.
For a few seconds he stood turned aside, worrying his lower lip with his thumb as he glanced around the little room. It was a blank, dreary place, with white walls long turned grey, no windows, and a cracked ceiling that threatened to fall and squash us at any moment. One lone lantern sat on the desk between us, throwing us both in stark black and gold. Besides the desk and my chair, all the other furniture had got cleared out long ago, so I felt a bit like I was in the slam instead of a training room.
“Well,” he said. “I’m supposed to be helping you, so, try something for me. Shift.”
“Wait, now?”
“Yes. We’re in a closed space here. I want you to practice using your gift.”
“Practice?” I echoed, dumbly.
“Shift, and focus on coming back here and sitting on the desk. Then I’m going to say something very simple. I want to see if you can remember it, and then tell me what it was when you Shift back.”
I swallowed hard. Far as I’d ever been able to tell, Shifting was liking putting on a glamour. Nothing embarrassing happened to me, like turning bare as a baby or sprouting a beak from my face, but still, it never got any easier, being asked to Shift on command. And it usually didn’t turn out well, either.
“A’right,” I said. “But…turn about, will you?”
He arched a brow, but he turned and folded his arms. “Whenever you’re ready.”
I took a deep breath and wriggled my fingers. Concentrated. My heart pattered, reckless, blood driving like fire through every bit of me. And the world constricted, and my body caved in around me…
I’m trapped. Walls cage me in. Walls, walls everywhere…and no windows… There is no way out. A young man stares at me, tall and dark, his eyes wide. He will capture me. He will kill me.
I beat against the wa
lls, but they do not yield. I drive toward the ceiling, but cannot break through. My body stings. The world swirls around me. Again I throw myself at the walls, at the door. The boy follows me. I can hear him shouting. Hands reaching, reaching…I try to fly away, but my wings are weary. I can fight no more…
Hands close in around me, sweep me from the floor. The boy holds me close to his chest. I try to struggle free, but he pins my wings. I can feel the pulse of blood in his fingers. The warmth of his hands. Gentle hands. He does not try to break me. He watches me, frowning, as if he is sad. Why is he sad? I am proud, I am free. I was free.
I shout the injustice, but he does not let me go.
A noise like thunder rumbles from his chest, booming in my ears.
“Hayli.”
I lie still. I listen.
“Hayli.”
Hayli…that sound, so foreign before, is suddenly familiar to me. What could this boy say that would mean anything to me? He is a human. Only a human.
And I…
I am a human.
I am Hayli.
And yet…
I collapsed on the floor, shaking all over. Derrin retreated a step and crouched down in front of me, anxious and goggle-eyed like I’d never seen him before.
“Oh stars,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry. Are you hurt?”
I blinked at him, trying to figure out why he’d asked, until I remembered all sudden-like the feel of crashing into the wall, into the ceiling, into the floor. Swallowing, I stretched out my arms. Pain attacked me all over the knobbly joints, till my stomach churned and the room washed red. All I wanted was to crawl onto my cot and sleep for a week.
“I’m fine,” I lied, hugging my arms around me. “Just hang on a tick and let me get sorted.”
“I didn’t know… That could have killed you!”
He shot up to his feet and took a few long steps across the room, raking his hands through his dark hair. Somehow I remembered…I remembered his wild worry. I remembered the regret and grief in his eyes. I remembered him holding me—the crow—against his chest, shielding me from myself. That got a bit of a blush prickling up my neck, and I fidgeted when he turned suddenly to look at me.
The Madness Project (The Madness Method) Page 21
