“All of you, out!” Trabin shouted when Griff had gone.
The remaining servants bowed, faces neutral as always, and filed out in silence. As the door settled shut behind them, Trabin turned, slowly, to face me. I swallowed and didn’t look away.
He asked, voice dangerously low, “What is this?”
“A riot,” I said, bland, not even wincing when his eyes flashed with rage.
“Obviously,” he snapped. “Is this you? Is that what this is? You led an anarchists’ rebellion in the south streets?”
“It was hardly a rebellion. Some workers were angry. I just used them for cover.”
“So this is you.”
I took a few steps forward and picked up the paper, and found that same photograph of Shade staring back at me over his shoulder, all stark contrast of sharp black and white, like an ink sketch in a grey-washed world. Even the white tattoo around his eye was barely visible.
“You told me to change my appearance and infiltrate the Clan,” I said.
Trabin snatched the paper from me and shook it in my face. “But not to make yourself look like Godar bloody Eyid!”
“What?” my mother asked, startling.
Trabin held up the paper so she could see the picture, and her face turned terribly pale.
“Tarik…” she murmured, but just met my gaze and nodded once, faintly.
“You had to get involved, didn’t you,” Trabin said to me, never even noticing. “You couldn’t possibly choose a slower, quieter way to infiltrate. You had to go and make a scene and get your face plastered on the front page of the paper, because that’s all you know how to do!”
His voice had pitched to a shout, but for the first time in my life, it didn’t drive me back, cowering, into my shell. I didn’t go any closer to him, either, but I stood a little straighter and stared him in the eye, wearing Shade’s cold smile, while everything inside me wondered if what he said was really true. Maybe that was all I knew how to do.
“What are you so angry about, sir?” I asked. “That I chose to look like Eyid, or that I acted outside the parameters of your intention?”
His mouth twitched, but he only asked, “Why? Why him?”
“It wasn’t intentional,” I said. “At least, not at first.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” he growled.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my mother watching, anxious, her hands white-knuckled on the fragile porcelain of her teacup. She knew, just as I did, that Trabin was unraveling fast. I stood on treacherous ground, yet I couldn’t back away. Somehow I thought, deep inside, I almost wanted to push him over the edge. Trabin never spoke what he really thought unless fury had completely blinded him.
“I mean that I didn’t know I’d made myself look like him until someone else pointed it out. And then I decided I liked the association. Eyid was a great leader. He took care of his people and treated everyone justly, even mages.” I grinned, acid. “Maybe because he was one himself. A powerful mage, the kind of mage I hope I can be. So I figured that wouldn’t be such a bad thing to tap into.”
“Mage,” he snorted. “Mage. He was nothing but a filthy, inhuman Jixy.”
My blood turned cold. “Inhuman?” I echoed, a bare whisper.
That did it. He’d slipped into that space of pride and fury that made him right and the world wrong, no matter who happened to be arguing with him. I’d seen it happen so many times before, with his Ministers, with ambassadors, with myself in my mischief. I didn’t expect him to answer rationally, but even so, when he spoke, he stunned me.
“That’s what they are. Beasts! Beasts that don’t deserve the life they pretend to live.”
All my breath hissed out at once. I took a step closer to him, forcing him to look at me.
“Is that what you think of me?” I asked. I nodded in my mother’s direction. “Is that what you think of her?”
He turned to meet her gaze, but the hardness in his eyes—hard, unflinching hatred—turned my heart to stone. In a rush the coldness of my blood churned into a fire, and I slammed my hands on the table. The noise made everyone jump, even me. Clenching my teeth on a furious breath I spun away, knotting my stinging hands, lips twitching, wanting to scream. The room faded away from me, bleeding into red.
He wouldn’t dare. He wouldn’t.
For one endless moment I stood at the window, struggling to calm my breathing, trying to check the rage that blinded me. When I thought I could speak without dragging myself into the gutter, I spun back and strode three steps toward him.
“You claim the authority to judge, by yourself, who is human, and who is not? Who has the right to live, and who should die?”
“I am the King,” he said, attacking each word. “What is just or unjust is so by my judgment. If I say something is wrong, then it is wrong. If I say it is right, then it is right. Those whom I say are human, are. And if I declare they are not, then they are not.”
“You really believe that?” I cried, forgetting to even pretend at deference. I’d spent too long on the streets already; Shade was bleeding through. “All that supreme authority nonsense the old philosophers argued about centuries ago? You made my tutors teach it to me because you actually believe it?”
“Who is there who would argue with me?”
I smiled. It felt like baring my teeth. “Me.”
“You wouldn’t. You’re not that bold.” He jabbed a finger at me. “You were always weak like that. Easily intimidated. A coward.”
“Perhaps you’re right,” I said. I couldn’t believe how calm I sounded, when all my blood boiled with shame and fury. “I was.” He just glared at me, so I lifted my chin and kept right on going. “So. You would accept that when I am King, I can decide that what you said was wrong is actually right, and it will suddenly become so? Just because that’s what I say?”
He stared at me for a moment, black mustache twitching, then all at once he dropped his head and chuckled. That sound chilled me more than if he had thrown his head back and laughed me to scorn.
“When you’re King?” He nodded at me. “You’re so certain of that?”
“Trabin,” my mother said, breaking her silence for the first time in so long. She didn’t speak loudly, but her voice cut across the room like a knife. “You wouldn’t.”
“Do you think I don’t know what is going on here?” Trabin roared, flinging the paper on the ground. His utter lack of dignity shamed me; I looked away. “Your son chooses to traipse about the streets wearing Eyid’s face, and you think that won’t convince me of the truth of what I’ve always suspected? Eyid! You dishonored me for Eyid?”
“Did you kill him?” she asked, sharp suddenly, eyes dark as shards of the sea. “Did you have him assassinated?”
“Are you saying you would disinherit me?” I interrupted, because somehow I thought I didn’t want to hear Trabin’s answer to that question. Not now. Not when I could barely leash the anger braying in my veins as it was.
“Elanar,” Trabin snapped. “Leave us.”
She froze. Her fingers twitched on her cup, nearly sending the tea sloshing onto the bright Meritian carpet.
“It’s all right,” I told her. “It’ll be fine.”
She shifted her gaze from me to Trabin, then slowly set down the cup and rose to her feet.
“He knows everything,” she told him, and left the salon quiet as a wraith.
For a few moments after she’d gone we stood in uneasy silence, Trabin with his hands planted on a tall sideboard, me turned to stone by the window. Outside the sun had already surrendered and a steady rain fell, mingled with a few faint snowflakes.
“I am so very close to declaring your mission a failure, boy. Do you understand what that would mean?”
“Yes,” I said.
He let out his breath and leaned onto the table. I could almost see the anger fizzling away from him, leaving nothing but a cold, hollow shell. For endless moments I stood, mute and motionless, waiting for him to speak again.
Finally he sighed and straightened up.
“It is your choice, you know, whether you will put her in danger or not. I’ve asked you to do one simple thing. Do it, and I will forget forever the truth in your blood, and in hers. I will formally invest you with your title and inheritance, and she will be secure until her death.”
I swallowed. “You asked me to find the truth. What if the truth is that they’re innocent? That Rivano means no harm to you or any of us?”
“I imagine if you come to that conclusion, that could only mean that your loyalties had been compromised.”
I let out all my breath in a hiss. “So you don’t want the truth at all, do you? You just want justification.”
He took a step closer to me, eyes burning into me. “Let me make one thing very clear to you. If you continue down this path you are on, boy, I will disinherit you, and I will reveal the truth of her treason to the Assembly, and they will decide her fate. And yours.”
“You wouldn’t dare,” I said. I mirrored his step, bringing myself closer to him than I’d ever stood, and stared him straight in the eye. “Not as long as I’m alive.”
He snorted softly, in the sort of way that made me understand exactly what he was thinking: Precisely.
“It’s your choice,” he said. “Is the task too difficult? Are you unable to complete it?”
“Unable?” I smiled. “No.”
He drew himself up, scowling down at me the way that used to make me feel vulnerable, but now only stirred my contempt.
“I’m still on the mission,” I said, coldly. “Just don’t mistake me. I’m only doing it for her.”
“I don’t care why you’re doing it. Just do it.”
I clicked my heels and gave him a formal bow, and strode from the salon before I said something I would regret forever.
Chapter 18 — Hayli
“Shade still hasn’t shown?” Anuk asked, dropping onto the bench beside me with a wadded up copy of the Herald in his hand.
“Nope,” I said. I picked at the stewed tomatoes on my plate. “Not seen him for a couple days, not since the morning after the riot. I told him about the coppers and the signs, and he lammed off.”
“He’s lying low, so. Smart.”
I nodded, though I didn’t much feel too happy about it. Shade had said he didn’t want to go hide, and now he’d gone and done it. I wasn’t sure what I thought about that, even if Anuk had it right and it was the smart thing to do.
Anuk cleared his throat and smoothed out the paper, holding it just crooked enough that I couldn’t get a good goggle of the front page. I smacked his arm and he grunted, and held the paper between us.
“Look at that,” he said.
I did. The Herald had gone all wacky with the news of Tarik’s return, and, besides the one run of a story about Shade and the riot the other day, it had been full of pictures and speculation about the Crown Prince. It almost seemed to have gone the way of old ladies and gossip-girls, running stories the likes of, “Who is Prince Tarik’s Secret Flame?” and “The Shocking Truth Behind Prince Tarik’s Sudden Disappearance,” or my personal favorite, “Killed and Brought Back to Life? Prince Tarik’s Dangerous Travels.”
Today they had a smashing photograph of the prince rowing on the Bast River with another fellow, their shirt sleeves all rolled up, hair tousled from wind and rain. They were winning their chummy race with another boat, of course. You could tell just from the grin on the Prince’s face.
I frowned at the picture, remembering that smile, all wild abandon and mischief. Tarik. Pity he had to be a blithering prince. He might’ve liked to run amok with us for a bit, if just to get in the spits with his pop.
“Looks like they’ve good and forgot the riot already,” Anuk said. “Didn’t take them long, so.” He grinned, bumping me with his elbow. “Didn’t think it would, of course.”
“Have the folks already forgotten?” I asked. “Shade was so sure they’d be flocking to his flag already. But he’s not even here to do aught about it. If he waits too long, it’ll be like the riot never happened. Where d’you suppose he lammed off to?”
“Who knows,” he said. “Maybe back to Istia, for all I know.”
“No.” I shook my head fiercely. “He wouldn’t do that. Wouldn’t leave like that, without even saying a so long to his mates.”
“Mates?” He snorted. “You think he ever saw any of us as mates?”
I shoved my plate of tomatoes at him and climbed off the bench. “I think he did,” I said. “There at the end. I really do. Look, I’m out for a tick. Ganna try to do a bit of the old sneak and peek.”
“Eh,” he said, laughing. “You’ve been hanging around Coins too much. Got knocked a bit loose in the meat pail, right?”
I laughed out loud. I couldn’t help it. And it made it so much worse that Anuk’s perfect mimic of Coins came just as Coins stepped into the mess. I tried to slip past him, holding my side from laughing, but he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me into a mock chokehold.
“What’s this? Did someone just say something brilliant?” He swung me around, a mad grin splitting his face. “Meat pail. I like that! Knew there was hope for you yet, Anuk.”
“Don’t count on it,” Anuk said. “The world can only handle one of you.”
“Hah, thanks!” Coins cried, then he scowled and added, “I think?”
“Lemme gan, y’ oaf,” I said, prodding him in the stomach with my elbow. “Got work to do.”
“Where you off to, little bird?”
“Can we help?” Anuk asked.
I jumped and stared at them. For so long, it’d always been me begging the boys to let me tag along, hiding my shame when they doubted me, hiding my grief when they mocked me. And now Coins and Anuk wanted to come with me? To help me? I couldn’t guess what had changed.
“Not this time, lads,” I said, trying to sound careless like Shade. “Thanks, though.”
“Be careful, Hayli,” Coins said, squeezing me tight. “Don’t go getting into mischief, right? I don’t want to have to come bail you out.”
“I know you will if I need you,” I said, and slithered free of his grip. “See you in a bit.”
“What if Shade comes back?” Anuk asked. “Should we send him after you?”
I grinned. “Nope. This one is mine.”
Coins tipped his fingers to his forehead and Anuk bowed, and I left the Hole feeling a mite too proud of myself for my own good. I tugged my jumper over my head as I walked, whistling a bit even though the rain was falling and the wind was blowing and my fingers were numb as ever. But the whole world spread at my feet, and suddenly I felt like I could do anything.
Let’s go to the Science Ministry, the crow whispered. That’s where everything is happening. It all centers around that. You need to know what they did to you.
Why can’t you tell me what they did? I wondered, stupidly.
I thought I could hear the crow laughing, a harsh, airy sound. She was laughing at me. I was laughing at me because I expected myself to know something I didn’t. Bother. This whole business was a mite confusing.
You’ll have to let me get in, she said, pushing a bit at the edges of my mind. You can’t march up and say the passcode and expect them to let you in.
Shade could do that, I thought, and snapped my fingers. If only he were here! We’d have such a lark infiltrating the Ministry together.
“Hayli!”
I spun around, hoping, for one mad moment, that I hadn’t been muttering out loud to myself. Derrin slipped out of the shadows in the alley behind me, coming up beside me with his hands in his pockets and a faint smile in his eyes.
“Oy, Derrin!” I cried. “Haven’t seen you for days!”
He smiled, faintly. “I’ve been about a bit.”
“You haven’t seen Shade at all, have you?”
The smile snapped away, like the sun winking off behind a cloud. I wondered if he was still furious with Shade about the whole Blood issue. For just a tick he s
tood close to me, studying me under the brim of his hat, a darkish kind of look in his eyes and the line of his mouth.
“Hayli, what do you know of that kid, really?” he asked. “I was talking to the lads. Has he really got four gifts?”
I hesitated. “That should be impossible, right?”
“Should be.”
We walked in silence a bit, no sound but our shoes scraping and clacking on the wet cobblestones. We’d left the quiet streets now, and a few scraggly folks dripped past, hunting out shelter in the thickening rain.
“Maybe that’s why Rivano’s so keen on him,” Derrin remarked.
“Rivano! But Derrin, he won’t even let Shade in to see him.”
“That doesn’t make what I said wrong.”
I scowled a bit. “Reminds me of the old myths, Shade does,” I said. “All the old stories of mages who could…bend magic. Do as they liked, and not just as their gift allowed.”
I expected him to contradict me, or maybe even laugh, but he just nodded and said, “I know.”
We left it at that. When we’d come full up to the high streets surrounding the Oval Wall, I stopped and turned to Derrin.
“Look, I’m ganna gan to the Science Ministry.”
He frowned. “Thought Rivano wanted you to take Shade with you.”
“Suppose so, but do you see Shade anywhere? Besides I can only do so much as the crow. Call it a bit of forward scouting. I’ll come back with Shade later and really get the dirt on that place.”
“All right,” he said. “Be careful though, Hayli. Those folks aren’t to be trifled with.”
“Believe me, I know.”
He nodded and backed away, then swung around and headed back down south, toward the Hole. I propped my hands on my hips, staring up at the high Oval Wall, remembering how hard it had been to get up there the last time, when I didn’t know the crow at all. We were like a team, now, me and the crow. Never mind that it was all a bit cracked to call yourself your own teammate.
It isn’t difficult to find my way back to the Science Ministry. I skirt raindrops and skim treetops, following the lines of my memory to the massive building. Even more guards stand on post today than before, but none of them watch the sky. I circle the roof once, searching for an entry. But this isn’t the Macallum Mill. Here the windows all stand intact with thick, expensive glass. Any broken window would be replaced immediately, because this is a Ministry building.
The Madness Project (The Madness Method) Page 47
