“But you helped him find me,” I said to Kor. “That was your messenger who brought me Zagger’s note.”
“I didn’t know what the hell he wanted to talk to you about,” Kor snapped. “He wouldn’t tell me. Just said he had something you needed to know.”
Zagger lifted his hands defensively. “Maybe you should have asked.”
“It doesn’t matter now, anyway,” I said. “It’s done.”
“Yes,” Rivano said. “You reappeared, and now everything is infinitely more difficult. As for the rest of this—the riots, the threat of revolution, you becoming a fugitive—none of that was ever supposed to have happened. That was Kantian’s doing. I was trying to protect as many of the mages as I could, and many of them were just children. Kantian offered them security, thinking that I would prove to be some kind of cult figure who would help him start a war.
“When he realized I didn’t actually want a rebellion, he drove you lot to fan the flames. I don’t blame you, Tarik. You couldn’t know where it would lead. You couldn’t have imagined the events we saw today. And yet you’ve brought yourself so close to the edge…so close to shattering…to save us. And for that…for that I imagine your father would be proud.”
I didn’t realize I’d been holding my breath, but it escaped all at once, broken and empty. For a few moments no one in the room moved or spoke. Hayli was still as stone beside me and Zagger pinned Rivano with his stare, while Kor just contemplated the faded wallpaper he leaned against, plucking at some of its frayed edges. And Rivano watched me, waiting, but he watched me without any anxiety. He wasn’t even the slightest bit worried that I might reject all that he had just told me.
“There’s still one thing you haven’t explained,” I said. He gave a fluid gesture of his hand. “Why. Why were you so intent on finding me? I know you had to wait and see if I ever manifested a gift, but why? What did…my father…want from me?”
“He wanted to bring you home,” he said. “You are the Godarson. And, if the legends are true, you were likely going to become something…something this world hasn’t seen in a century at least. Something that could defend Istia from the threats we face.”
My breath hissed out. I knew my history well enough. I knew all too well what had happened a century ago.
“You mean I would be an archmage, like Arnthor,” I said. “The one who led the Scourge in Cromis.”
“You can be even greater than Arnthor.”
“His actions nearly caused a genocide!” I cried, shooting to my feet. “I can’t think of a single thing he did that I would want to emulate.”
“That is because you only know the history told by the people who defeated him,” Rivano said. “The genocide wasn’t caused by him. He ended the genocide.”
I dug my hands against my head, my thoughts whirling in a mad chaos. And the singing…the way the light glowed as it came through the windows… No. Not now.
“You waited for seventeen years for me to find you, and all this time it never even occurred to you that I might not want any part of your schemes?” I asked. “You just assumed that I would, what, be your puppet?”
“That’s not what it is at all,” he said. “You misunderstand me.”
“You want me to turn on the King, don’t you? There is a war coming with Istia and you think I’m going to support you. Don’t you know that if I betray Trabin, then my mother’s life is forfeit?”
He paced a few steps toward me. “What would she want?”
I ground my teeth, driving my finger at his chest. “Do not push me. Don’t you dare drag her down by your schemes.”
“Who do you think sent Kor to me in the first place?” he said, calm and quiet as ever.
I spun around to face Kor. “Is that true?”
Kor pushed away from the wall, the smile completely faded from his face.
“Of course it’s true,” he said. “But damn, if you couldn’t be a stubborn, thick-skulled prince sometimes. Here I thought, let’s take a boy who’s never had many real friends, who’s been driven into the shadows his whole life by his hard-headed and overbearing father, who deep inside craves nothing more than to rule, and let him start a life on the street where he’ll make real friends who would do anything for him because of who he is, not what he is, and let his heart lead the way. He wouldn’t possibly betray his friends, would he? But you did. Soon as you had the least bit of dirt on your new family, you came scampering back to me to rat them out. And not just once, but again, and again. I don’t know how I misjudged you.”
“Because you never knew me at all,” I said, rigid, exerting all my will not to glance at Hayli, because I was terrified of how she must be looking at me, hearing proof of my treachery.
Kor lifted his hands in exasperation. “I even told you the truth about your father, and that still didn’t get you to reevaluate your loyalties!”
“My father.” I snorted. “A man I never once saw in all my life. And some blind loyalty to him was supposed to make me willing to expose my mother to the threat of execution? You saw what happened, what was it, five months after I discovered what I was? Wasn’t it five months later that Count Lorin and his wife were executed?” From the corner of my eye I saw Hayli’s hand reach up to cover her mouth. “As if that wasn’t meant as a warning for her, to show her what would happen if the world ever learned the truth about her. And you thought I would just dismiss all that because I’d fallen in love with the streets, and the Hole, and…” My voice caught; I narrowed my eyes at Kor. “Weren’t you the one who said that sometimes we have to lose so that others can live?”
“If you turn your back on us now,” Rivano said, “they will all die. Including your mother. Including you.” He paused, glancing at Hayli. “Including her. Do you honestly suppose that if you try to rush back and swear fealty to Trabin, that he will forget what you are, Godarson?”
The title sent a prickle of ice through my veins.
“If war comes to Cavnal,” he added, “then every mage and everyone who has given aid to a mage will be executed as an enemy of the Crown. Today was just a prelude. Tomorrow they won’t bother with specimen samples or genetic experiments. The mages will be rounded up and summarily executed. And their blood will be on your hands.”
For a moment there was absolute silence. Kor studied me sidelong, waiting to see what I would do, and Zagger’s gaze kept darting between me and the other two men. Just from his posture I knew he was ready for anything—if I told him to attack, he would take them both on and fight to the death if necessary. But Rivano only turned to face the window, folding his hands behind his back.
“What,” I started, but my voice felt cracked, hoarse, broken. “What is it you think I could do? What difference can I make?”
“You can stop this war from ever happening.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Stop the war.”
Chapter 16 — Tarik
Zagger had brought me Tarik’s clothes. I knew I would never be able to see Trabin as Shade, so, when Rivano, Hayli and Kor left the room, I unMasked my face and my body. But everything inside me felt numb. I didn’t know what to think, what to feel. I was moving through ice, slow, suspended in time and space, a shell of a body. Everything that should have been inside me felt frozen and cracked. Fractured.
As if I could stop a war.
I was a seventeen year old boy who had skipped out on too many diplomacy lectures, but more than that…I was a traitor.
I stopped buttoning my shirt, letting my hands fall idle to my knees.
What horrified me more than anything was how I kept hearing a strange, venomous voice in the back of my thoughts whispering that I had leverage now. Leverage I could use against Rivano. He should have known better than to trust me with so much information. I could take it all straight to Trabin and destroy him and all the Clan without an ounce of effort.
Stars. All I am is a lie.
“You’ve got some kind of idea,” Zagger said, frowning at me from
his spot by the window. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking you should get away from me, Zag, while you can,” I said. “I don’t want to drag you down with me. I don’t want to betray you too.”
“You won’t,” he said simply. “And I’m not going anywhere.”
“You’ve known, haven’t you? Ever since I told you I was a mage, you’ve known I wasn’t Trabin’s son. Why does the bastard son of a foreign duchess need a royal Cavnish bodyguard? Why didn’t you leave me then?”
He snorted. “Because I’m loyal to you, not some title. I’m not Cavnish either, remember?” He shrugged. “Besides, if you are the son of a Tulian duchess and Istia’s Godar, then you still need a bodyguard, because as far as I’m concerned, that makes you pretty damn well near royalty anyway.”
I laughed, then sobered and said quietly, “You’re a better man than I’ll ever be, Zagger.”
“We’ll see about that,” he said, but he ducked his head and stared out the window, looking astonishingly self-conscious.
I finished buttoning my shirt, and pulled my waistcoat and jacket from the back of the couch. I still had the guard’s revolver from the Esobor facility, so I tucked it into my belt and hoped no one at the palace would confiscate it. My hair was an impossible mess, but without Liman there to fret over it, it couldn’t be helped. I brushed it back over my ears and hoped I could at least pass for intentionally-mussed, as Minister Batar always said.
“As far as the world knows,” I said, “I’m still the Crown Prince of Cavnal, and my mother’s honor is still intact. If I can help it, that won’t change. I just want to convince Trabin to leave Istia alone, and let the mages of Cavnal live like human beings. An impossible dream, I’m sure.” I sighed and glanced at Zagger. “Can you send in Hayli? I need to talk to her.”
Zagger shot me such a knowing smile that I blushed, but he just nodded and didn’t say a word. Not a moment after he’d left the room, Hayli slipped in, quiet as a bird. She hesitated briefly near the door, then she broke and ran to me, throwing her arms around my neck. I held her close, burying my head against her shoulder, feeling the energy wreath us like a lightning web.
“I’m so sorry, Shade,” she whispered. “I wish I’d known. You’ve fought so long, haven’t you? All those years, thinking everything around you was a lie…”
I let out a shattered breath and squeezed my eyes shut.
“You are the only truth in my life,” I said. I released her and brushed the hair from her cheeks, smiling sadly down at her. “The snare still waits and hungers, but truth is a blazing star and the moon on the sea, so all is well.” Her eyes widened and I closed mine, my brow creased with pain. “No, don’t listen…I’m not speaking of rocks. Sense. Sensible things. I’m not a sensible thing. Oh, God.”
I pulled away and took a few steps across the room, confusion hammering in the corners of my mind. Had I misspoken? The words shone with such clarity, but the way she watched me… I knew she couldn’t understand them. My hands pressed against my forehead, but they couldn’t drive away the madness. I couldn’t let her see me like this, so broken…
“Shade,” she whispered, coming behind me. She slipped her arms around me and leaned her head on my shoulder. “I dan’ care. You hear? I’m not giving up on you. I’m not ganna gan anywhere.”
“Yes, you are,” I said, turning around. “You have to get out of here, now. I have to go the palace, and you have to find a way to rally the mages. Understand?”
She didn’t protest. I loved her for not protesting. She paused, just a moment, then gave a decisive nod. “I know. I’d only complicate everything. But be careful. Please.” For a moment she hesitated, chewing her lip and staring intently at the window, anxious and uncertain. “Shade,” she said finally. “There’s something I just realized…I think you should know it too. But I’m so afraid to tell you…”
“That you were my best friend’s childhood friend?” I asked, smiling.
Her eyes widened. “You knew? Of course. You realized in the…”
“In the Science Ministry.”
She nodded. “Yes, but…that’s not what I was thinking of.” Her hand found mine, holding it tight. “Derrin’s a mage.”
“I know that,” I said, frowning. “It was a bit of a surprise, but…”
“D’you know what kind of mage?”
I studied her carefully, wondering at the horror in her eyes. “No, what kind?”
“Oh, Shade,” she said, and covered her mouth with her hand. A moment later she lowered it and flicked the hair from her eyes, and said in a scant whisper, “He’s a Ghost.”
I fell a step back, staggered. “Derrin? But…but how…”
And I just stared at her, because I couldn’t find a single word to say. Derrin was the Ghost? No.
She had to be mistaken.
* * * *
As soon as Hayli had gone to find the scattered mages, Zagger drove me, Kor and Rivano to the palace. I’d questioned the wisdom of having Rivano accompany us, since he was still the most wanted man in Brinmark, but he and Kor seemed to believe that my word would be enough to protect him. So I rode in silence, chewing on my nails, staring anxiously out at the passing beech trees. My mind was all in a jumble, my thoughts twisting from Derrin to Rivano to Trabin with neither pattern nor sense.
When we arrived at the palace, the guard—Shade’s old friend—came out of his post and stood staring down at the motorcar. A moment later Pont stepped out with the first footman, exchanging an uncertain glance with the guard, but none of them moved toward us.
Of course—I’d been arrested. I’d nearly forgotten. I’d been arrested, so as far as any of the servants were concerned, I was already a traitor. And traitors didn’t get their doors opened for them.
Kor stepped out of the motorcar and opened my door for me, while Zagger opened the door on his side for Rivano to get out. As soon as Rivano stepped into the daylight, the guard’s rifle shot up to his shoulder, and Pont and the footman scuttled off to one side.
“Put that down,” Kor snapped.
“I’m sorry, sir,” the guard said stiffly. “The palace is not open to visitors at this time. There is a diplomatic envoy present, and I have orders to keep the premises clear.”
“We’re part of the diplomatic envoy,” I said, striding up the steps.
“Your Highness, you were arrested,” he said. “I don’t understand.”
“Yes, that exercise was conducted very well.” I stopped beside him, raking a cold glance over him. “You did realize that was just an exercise, didn’t you? Gad, I told you that information would get lost somewhere along the way, but would anyone listen?” I said over my shoulder to Kor.
“But none of us knew,” Pont exclaimed, red with distress. “Is it true?”
“I’m the one who had him arrested, aren’t I?” Zagger asked with a terrible scowl. “D’you think I’d be standing here with him now if he were really a traitor?”
Pont’s eyes widened. “Oh, Your Highness, I beg your pardon…”
I waved a hand and headed straight for the closed palace doors. The footman jumped forward, pulling them open and holding them for us to enter.
“Keep an eye on that one,” I said to Zagger, nodding at Rivano. “He’s too slippery for his own good.”
“Your Highness, I’m afraid your father is in a closed meeting with the ambassador. You’ll have to wait to talk to him.”
I racked my mind desperately, trying to recall what ambassador was coming. Then my blood chilled, because I remembered all at once—it was Istia’s envoy, the first envoy to come since Istia had accused Cavnal of Eyid’s assassination. Oh, stars.
“Yes, I know. I’m not here for a private conference,” I said. “They’re in the Leaf Hall, I take it?”
Pont made a formal bow. “Yes, Your Highness.”
I snapped my fingers at the three men and strode into the palace, trying not to walk too fast, because I knew that would only betray my terror. The L
eaf Hall, the council chamber where the King always met with diplomatic envoys, lay far at the end of the south ward of the palace. It stood behind massive, carved double doors, and when the room was occupied, no fewer than eight royal guards lined the hallway outside.
When the first guard saw me, he started to drop his pike across the corridor, but I held up my hand and didn’t even slow my pace.
“Stand down,” I said. “I have a right to be present.”
And they knew that was true, because I was the Crown Prince, and I was a man now, and taking part in diplomatic sessions was supposed to be one of my responsibilities. The guards watched Rivano warily, but somewhere along the way Kor had put his hands in cuffs. I knew as much as any mage that cuffs worked as well as any kind of energy inhibitor the scientists might come up with. Most of us had to have our hands free to use our gifts.
The last pair of guards pounded the butt-ends of their pikes against the double doors, then swung them slowly open. I marched straight through, taking in the scene before me in a glance.
The Leaf Hall was aptly named. Every piece of wood adorning the room was carved like foliage, and all the painted spaces were embellished with gold leaf. Floor-length windows stretched across the whole southern wall, flooding the hall with clear, cold light.
No Ministers were present, but that rather didn’t surprise me. An envoy could request a session with four Ministers present, but it was uncommon enough. The Ministry might run domestic affairs, but the King was still in charge of Cavnal’s foreign relations.
So it was just Trabin and my mother, sitting in their high-backed seats at the far end of the room. That immediately put me on guard. A round table occupied the middle ground of the room—when diplomatic sessions were friendly, that was where the participants would sit. If the King and Queen were on the dais with the envoy standing below them, the situation was tense, even hostile. And that made my task ten times more difficult than I’d feared.
My mother caught sight of me first. Her lips parted, but she wouldn’t exclaim; that would be undignified. But Trabin and then the envoy noticed her attention and I felt seven gazes switch around to stare at us as we made our way across the marble floor. Even Trabin was tongue-tied. I could tell from the frown on his face that he had no idea what to make of my presence, or of the fact that I was bringing Rivano into his presence—even in cuffs.
The Madness Project (The Madness Method) Page 62