by Alla Kar
Bang. Bang. Bang.
“I’m comin’. Hold the hell on!” I grab the end of my wine glass and walk over to the door. Before I can get the entire door open someone pushes in and grabs the back of my neck. Fear etches its way down to my toes but then I see dark brown eyes boring into mine. Full lips an inch from my own.
“Why did you text me that today? Are you tryin’ to make me combust, Roxanne? Do you get pleasure from making me want you and pulling back?”
What? I sent him a text message saying fucking asshole! I hardly believe that’s trying to make him combust? “What are you talkin’ about?” I say. I don’t realize how close he is to me until he takes a step and corners me against the edge of the couch.
The hand on the back of my neck curls and forces me to tilt my chin toward him. “You sent me a message for someone else. Rejecting their invite and rescheduling a date.”
Oh no. I meant to send that to Blake! “Oh,” I say, swallowing the large lump in my throat. “That was an accident. It wasn’t meant for you.”
A low hum comes from his throat and he places his other hand on my ass. “Obviously. Because giving me the time of day would be stupid, right?” He furrows his dark blond brows and sets his jaw. Every ounce of blood inside of me is boiling.
“Who do you think you are? Barging into my home?” I try to push against his chest but he pulls me closer to him.
Lowering his lips to my ear he chuckles. “Don’t think I don’t know that I make those panties wet. You’re just tryin’ to keep me out. Let. Me. In. Roxy. Let me show you how you’re supposed to feel.” His hand on my ass moves around to the waist band of my yoga pants and pulls.
My mouth dries as he dips his head to bite my jaw. “Open up for me, Roxanne.” The delicious sound of his voice scorches my skin. I want this. I want to let him inside.
“You need to leave,” I whisper helplessly.
He pushes the yoga pants over my hips and groans when he sees my lacy red underwear. “Do you want me to leave?” he whispers against my neck. Two fingers slip underneath the side of my underwear and then he grabs the fabric in his hands.
With an aggressive that makes my toes curl, he shoves his hand inside of my pants and begins to stroke me. Unable to help it, I grab his sleeveless SAU weight lifting shirt in my fists. “You need to leave,” I say, hating myself for the weakness in my voice.
Tilting my chin upwards, he stares down at me. “That’s not what I asked. Do you want me to leave, Roxanne?”
God, no. I think I may die if he stops touching me. Instead of answering I grab his jaw in my hand and force his mouth on mine. He grunts, grabs me underneath my ass and sits me on the arm of the couch. Both of my legs automatically spread wide, inviting him closer. He takes the bait, pressing the large bulge into the crease of my legs. His tongue dives into my mouth, making it impossible to think straight. Each groan into my mouth makes my lower stomach light fire.
With ease, he slips his fingers down the front of my pants again and pushes into me. “Fuck,” I breathe out, wrapping my arms around his neck. He presses the pad of his thumb against my clit and makes slow, deliberate circles. I shiver and rock against him, wanting nothing more than to take this further. It’s been so long since I’ve done anything. Pleasuring yourself gets old after a while.
“You feel so good, baby girl,” he groans out. “I can’t wait to get inside of you,” he groans. “Take these goddamn pants off before I rip them.”
Pulling away I slip my pants to my thighs.
“Mommy?”
Holy fuck. I yank my pants back up to my hips and swing around. Maddox is standing in the doorway to the living room. His Spider-Man pajamas are wrinkled and his hair a tangled mess. “What are you doing?”
I open my mouth and snap it shut. When I turn to look at Weston his eyes are as big as saucers. “Wha–what? Who is …” Weston trails off.
“Hey! You play for SAU?” Maddox asks pointing at his shirt. “I love football. I’m going to play for the Dolphin’s one day.”
Weston doesn’t answer; he tilts his head toward me and glares. He’s giving me that why didn’t you tell me look. The look I was afraid of receiving.
Biting my lip, I feel the heat swarming my neck. “You need to leave,” I gently whisper. Weston’s Adam’s apple bobs like he wants to say something but he doesn’t. He snaps his mouth shut, turns and storms out of the apartment complex slamming the door in my face.
There goes my one good fuck.
***
“I brought the ice cream. What’s the emergency?” Erica says, shutting my front door with her foot. One arm is wrapped around a gallon of Rocky Road and the other is holding a bottle of wine.
I look up at her from lying on my couch. “Maddox caught Weston and me …”
Her mouth drops open. “Doing it? You took my advice to spread eagle on his bed?”
I shake my head and sit up. “No, we were … messing around.” God, that sounds so lame. “And Maddox started talking to him about football!”
Erica takes a seat beside me, opens the ice cream container and pulls out two spoons. “Tell me everything.”
Erica and I ate the entire gallon of ice cream. When I was satisfied that I had eaten my sorrows away, I fell asleep on my couch.
I sit straight up. My eyes search the room and I find my cellphone ringing loudly against the living room table. That would explain the unwanted sound. Rubbing my fists against my eyes, I sit all the way up and press my finger randomly against my phone until I hit the dismiss button.
A note flutters to the floor and lands softly against my toe.
Set your alarm for you.
I’ll be there at nine to pick you up for class!
P.S. I think you dreamt about Weston last night. You said his name like one hundred times. Seriously.
I did not.
***
Maddox jumps from Erica’s car and skids to a stop. The backpack full of coloring books, markers and an extra pair of clothes swings against his back. Martha walks from her porch and wraps Maddox into a hug. He doesn’t have school today; some kind of inspection is going on.
“Thank you so much for watching him, Mrs. Martha. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
She gives me a sweet smile and pats Maddox on the head. “I love having him. It’s been so long since Erica was a baby and I miss it.”
“Thanks a lot, Mom,” Erica says from the driver’s seat. “I’ll keep that in mind the next time you want me to watch your cat.”
Martha narrows her eyes. “Now you see why I really love Maddox.”
I laugh and give them a wave bye before we head toward class.
***
I reach for the door handle. “Are you sure you’re okay, Rox? I mean … that was kind of a big deal last night.”
Kind of? My child saw a man’s hand down the front of my pants. Not that I think he noticed, he was too busy staring at Weston’s SAU shirt. “I’m fine. I’m just dreading training today.”
Erica bites the side of her thumb and nods. “Call me if you need me. I’ll whoop some running back ass for you.”
I give her a small smile and shut the passenger side door. The classroom is half-full when I walk in. I go straight for my seat on the first row, third seat. I pass a few students but my eyes lock with Dominque. I know he’s Weston’s roommate, and my cheeks burn. No telling what Weston’s told him. And he probably told him about last night. Great.
Now I look like a tease.
I open my notebook and keep my eyes focused on my sloppy notes in front of me. Seeing I’ve already read my notes through two times, I’m having a hard time actually focusing. I’m re-reading the first paragraph for the second time when I hear someone rap their knuckles against my desk.
I ignore it at first. My brain is wired to avoid any possible humiliating situation. Another knock. Biting my lip, I look ahead of me. Blake is sitting in the seat in front of me, a goofy grin on his face.
“Hola, Mami
,” he says, leaning against the front of my desk.
I glance around. Am I in the right class? Dom is staring at me when I turn to my right but he jerks his head back toward the front. “Hey, what are you doin’ in here?”
He smiles. “You never text me back the other night. I just figured I would stop and see what day is good for you this week?”
Good for our date. Shit. I tug on my lip with my teeth and press my pen hardly into my notebook paper. “When and where did you have in mind?”
“There is this club opening tomorrow in Texarkana. I thought we could go to dinner and then to the club afterwards. If that’s okay?”
“Sure. That sounds fun.”
Blake leans over and presses a soft kiss to my cheek. “I’ll text you the details later.”
I give him a finger wave and scribble down to call Erica’s Mom to watch Maddox tomorrow, or maybe I’ll call Beth. The professor comes in a few minutes later, flicks on the overhead and begins to bore us to death … yet again.
After forty minutes of nonstop history, our professor flips off the overhead and turns the light on. “Until next time,” he says, waving us away.
Everyone takes that as permission to start talking. I gather my things and walk to the line of students filing out of the door.
“Excuse me.”
What? I know that has to be Dominque. I can see the dreads from the corner of my eye. “Yes?” I ask, slightly turning my body toward his. His dark brows are slanted downward and a frown is on his face. Raising his arm above his head, he reaches to scratch the back of his neck. The muscles in his arms tighten when he moves.
“I –give Weston some time.”
I raise an eyebrow and act like I have no idea what he’s talking about. When I’m really about to freak out that he did actually tell him. Earlier was just worrying, and now I know I’m as red as a tomato. “What do you mean?”
The corner of Dominique’s mouth rises. “You know what I mean.” Then he leaves, with me still standing in the empty classroom staring out at the door. Dammit.
***
I stare at the training room door for over five minutes. There isn’t one thought that makes sense in my brain right now. Sweat is even running down the back of my neck. Why am I so nervous? It’s just Weston. We only got a little carried away, it’s not like we actually had sex or anything. Right? I’m not embarrassed of Maddox; I just don’t like the looks I get when a guy realizes I have a child. It’s a child not Aids.
“You okay?”
I stare at the door. “I’m fine, Sarah.”
“Doorphobia or something?”
I snort. “No, no phobias here.” I wish I had a sexphobia, and I was as repulsed by it as spiders. But that’s obviously not the case.
She lifts an eyebrow but doesn’t say anything else before disappearing down the hallway.
Okay, stop being a pussy, Roxy. I step forward and sling the training room door open. Weston’s pacing back and forth, as well as he can with a limp leg, and tugging on his hair. He whirls around. We stare at each other for a long uncomfortable minute. Weston’s Adam’s apple bobs in his throat as he swallows. “Ready for training?” I ask lamely.
Weston doesn’t answer; he just stares blankly at me like he’s waiting for something to happen. “Why didn’t you tell me you had a kid?” he finally asks after a long uncomfortable silence.
Suddenly the floor seems interesting. “I didn’t think it mattered.”
Weston’s brows furrow and his fist clench at his side. “So it didn’t matter that a kid was in the next room when we were going to fuck?”
I grind my teeth together. “Well, you kind of ambushed me, Weston. I’m sorry I didn’t give you a full rundown on my damn life!”
A darkness travels over his face and he takes a step toward me. “You hid it from me. Why? What are you hidin’?”
Why? Why the hell do you think! “I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” I warn.
He narrows his gaze. “Well, too fuckin’ bad,” he spits through his teeth. He takes a step toward me, cornering me in the training room.
Anger rises in my throat, and everything closes in around me. Ryan’s face flutters through my mind. The cut underneath my jaw. The blinding hospital light. The stiches in my jaw. Maddox’s scream. A dizziness takes over me, driving me to the brink of tears. “What does it matter to you? Why would I hide it from you, Weston? We aren’t anything to each other.”
Weston’s head jerks backwards and then rage crosses his face. Before I can say anything he grabs me by the waist and pulls me closer to him.
“You’re right, Roxy.” I keep my eyes locked with his brown ones. “I’m not anything to you but I’ll be damned if you act like you don’t want me. Because I know inside that little brain of yours you’re dying to fuck me. Dying to kiss me.” He lowers his mouth closer to mine, his bottom lip sliding against my mouth. “And I’m going to get those walls down. Not Blake. Not any other asshole at this school, but me. I’m going to get in. It may take a week or month but you’re going to let me in.” He releases my neck and takes a few steps back. “And I don’t care that you have a kid … by the fucking way.”
Silence laces the room. He doesn’t care? Like I’m supposed to believe that lie. A scream rides on my tongue but I swallow it. “Don’t hold your breath,” I spit out.
A smile rises form the corner of his full mouth. Limping over, he opens the door behind me. “Oh, sweetheart, I don’t need to.”
I watch his face until the door blocks my view. A deep heat warms my core. I’m in way over my fucking head.
Chapter Nine
Weston
“What’s the matter with you, bro?”
The bright green laces on Dom’s shoes are the only thing I can see. My head is buried underneath some covers and the only breathing hole I have is directed toward the floor. “I got drunk last night,” I groan.
Dom laughs. “I know. I heard you come in at fucking three o’ clock last night. Thanks for that by the way. I heard you all the way in my room, asshole.”
“Fuck you, Dom.”
He laughs and then I hear the TV click on and the recliner squeak beneath his weight. “So, how are things with Roxy? Could that be the reason you’re drowning your sorrows like a pussy?”
I sit up and rip the covers from my head. “Again, fuck you, Dom.”
He smiles and props his feet up on our small living room table. “So, is it?”
“Is it what?”
“Roxy. You drink her away last night?” He gives me a sideways glance but directs his gaze back to the TV quickly.
What the – “No. I felt like getting fucked up, so, I did.”
Dom hides his smile and nods at the TV. Standing up, I run my fingers through my hair and kick one of the empty beer bottles that are littering the living room floor. A sharp pain travels up my neck from the couch last night. It seemed like such a good idea before. “You asked me what I thought about Blake the other day, right?”
I turn toward him, resting my hands on the back of the couch. “Yea, what about it?”
Dom reaches up and scratches his chin before turning toward me. “I think he’s a decent guy, Weston. I think he has a chance with Roxy.”
A decent guy? I know we’re not women, but isn’t a best-friend supposed to take your side? I seriously need to reevaluate our friendship. “So.”
Dom raises an eyebrow. “Let me be a little more blunt, brother. I love you like my own flesh and blood. And I know you have this secret agenda to get Roxy to open up. I see it on your face. You’re jealous of Blake and you should be. He isn’t trying to just sleep with her. But if he is, he’ll take the time to get to know her first.”
I roll my eyes. “Your intuition, right?”
Dom flips me off. “Fuck you, Wes. This is going to come back and bite you in the ass.”
This isn’t making me feel any better. This is the last time I’m taking Dom’s advice, shit, he’ll make a guy feel really go
od about himself. “What are you getting at?”
“I was getting to that.” He sighs. “If you want her, like I think you do, you’ve got to amp up your game. This bullshit cat and mouse game isn’t going to work.” He sits back and slaps his thighs. “It’s time to pull out the big artillery. You’ve got to woo her.”
Woo her? “Are you joking? Because I’ve known you for four years and you’ve known me. I don’t woo girls, Dominique. I love girls. I truly do, but I’ve never been in love with one, so stop acting like I’m some kind of jackass that’s falling all over a girl.”
“What do you call it then? Normally when a girl isn’t willing to give it up you move on. But not this time. You’re being persistent. Did it ever dawn on you that you like Roxy?”
“Like … Roxy?” I scoff. “Are you kidding me?”
Dom shakes his head back and forth. “I love you, Wes. And” he stands up. “I know that when a task is too much you bolt and for some reason you just won’t give up this time. Sound fishy to you?”
What … is he right? Do I … like her? God, yes. I know the answer, it’s been banging on my chest since the first time I saw her standing in the bathroom hallway. “Okay,” I say carefully. “What if I did like her? What would I do? I have no idea how to fuckin’ woo a girl. I only know how to fuck her … good.”
Dom shrugs. “I have no clue but you better find out because she has a date with Blake tonight.”
“Another date? God, is he trying to fucking marry her or something?” I run my fingers over my eyes and slide them down my neck. “Where is their date?”
Dom sighs. “I have no idea. This girl behind me kept talking the entire time and I think Roxy knew I was eavesdropping.”
Great. “Okay, I’ll find out myself.”
Dom sits up in his chair as I limp around the room to grab my things. “Where are you going?”
“I’m going to talk to the one person that knows where she is at.”
***
Jason cracks his door and peaks outside. “What is it? I’m kind of busy.”
“Is she in there?”
Jason furrows his brow. “Who?”
