by KB Winters
“Thanks for bringing him,” I said, hoping to prompt him back to reality and get him to leave. Things had improved between Hannah and I, easing the tension greatly, when she was the one dropping Jax off, but things with Mitch only got frostier as the court date neared.
“Have a good night,” Mitch said, his voice thick with some underlying meaning.
I squatted down next to Jax, ignoring Mitch for the moment. “Honey, I put a surprise in your room, why don’t you go see what it is.” Jax’s eyes lit up and he raced down the hall, with Mickey sliding on the wood floors in his haste. I’d found some new pajama’s on clearance that featured the cast of characters from his favorite TV show, and splurged a little. When he was gone, I straightened and faced Mitch. “So, you’re really going through with this, huh? Trying to take him away from me?”
“My legal team advised me not to discuss the specifics with you, but Hannah and I want to move once the baby is here. She wants to be closer to her family. It wouldn’t be possible to transfer Jax back and forth once a week.”
My heart froze solid, a block of ice encasing it at his confession. Had all of Hannah’s friendliness just been a ploy to butter me up? To make me a sympathetic friend, so it would be easier when they took him from me? The thought rolled my stomach. “Mitch, he’s my baby too. He’s all I have.” I pinched my fingers tight together, the pain just enough to stop the tears in my eyes from welling up too much.
“I’m doing what’s right for my family,” Mitch replied, his tone still cold and uncaring. When had he turned into such a monster? Bulldozing through my life without batting an eye? Was I not, once upon a time, his family? Had we not made Jax together, brought him into the world side by side? Looking at my ex-husband was like seeing a stranger.
“I have nothing to say to you, Mitch. I could tell you that you’re a shallow, pathetic, excuse of a man, who knows nothing about keeping promises, or building a legacy, but I know you wouldn’t listen. Goodnight.”
Mitch reared back, obviously surprised by my sharp indictment, but I slammed the door in his face before he could put together a reply. I growled, releasing the frustration that had my chest tight and my limbs shaking, and then forced a smile on my face before going down to Jax’s room. I rounded the corner, and burst out laughing as I found Jax stripped naked, running around the room, with his pants on his head, and the shirt flying behind him like a cape, giggling and chasing Mickey.
The impending court date was still in my mind, but it was a lot easier to shove to the back of my mind, as I launched a tickle attack on Jax, his peals of laughter drowning out my stress.
* * * *
I was feeling a lot less Zen a week and a half later as I walked into the courtroom, my lawyer Kirk, leading the way. We’d deliberately waited so that we could be the second party, and when I saw the look on Mitch’s lawyer’s face, I smiled to myself and understood why. I hadn’t told Mitch who my lawyer was and as we walked up the aisle and took our seats in front of the judge, I sent a silent thanks to the lawyer who had given me Kirk’s name. Kirk’s face was masked with a whole new level of seriousness, but when he glanced at me, he flashed a hint of a smile, a silent reassurance that he was about to kick some serious ass.
And two hours later, that was exactly what happened.
“Mr. Martin, you have failed to provide any proof that Ms. Ryan is an unfit mother. I see no reason to grant your request, and furthermore, the new evidence showing that during your original agreement, certain assets may have been concealed, leads me to remind you that fraud is a serious crime with real life consequences attached. So, not only am I granting Ms. Ryan all of her requests, but I would strongly recommend that you drop this issue, and take the agreement with gratitude that further digging isn’t being done.”
The judge’s words were still ringing in my ears as Kirk walked me out of the courtroom, past Mitch and his defeated team of lawyers, without a second glance. Only once we were down the block, at the parking garage where my car was parked, did he finally break character and give me a heartfelt smile. I looked up into his eyes, edged with wise wrinkles, and broke into the happiest tears I’d ever cried in my life. “I don’t even—I can’t—”
He opened his arms and I stepped into a chaste embrace. “Thank you so, so much,” I whispered, my voice chocking up.
Kirk hadn’t even fully shown me his strategy, he’d mentioned something about Mitch hiding assets during our divorce, but hadn’t told me he’d found proof. He’d presented it to the judge, whose disgust was obvious in his final ruling, each sentence a cleverly crafted threat that if Mitch even tried to go after me and Jax again, that he would be brought up on fraud charges.
“You’re welcome,” Kirk replied. He pulled away and I wiped at my tears. “I don’t think Mitch will bother you anymore, but if he does, you know where to find me.”
I nodded. “Thank you, for everything.”
He gave me a final smile before turning away and I climbed behind the wheel of my car, waiting until Kirk was out of sight before screaming out a cry of sheer, exhilarated joy. Jax would be with me full time, except every other weekend, and one week during the summer to allow for vacations with Mitch, Hannah, and their baby on the way.
Effective immediately.
I threw the car into gear and hurried out of town, racing to get home and give my son the longest hug of his life. He was at Hilda’s and I knew she would be just as excited to hear the news. Just the thought of the reunion gave me chills and kept a smile on my face as I battled my way through traffic to the highway that led out of the city, to the outskirts where I lived.
Hilda had a celebratory dinner prepared and even popped open a bottle of good wine for us to share—something I’d never seen her do before—and we all laughed and ate together like our own little family. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any better, my phone buzzed, and I saw a weird number on the screen. My fingers slipped as I answered it, missing the accept button twice in my excitement.
“We did it!” I shouted into the phone. “We did it, Jace!”
Jax cheered loudly in the background, and I laughed, knowing he had absolutely no idea why his mama was so happy. As far as he knew, nothing had changed in his world. He was happy simply because I was happy.
Jace laughed. “Well that answers that question!”
I rapidly fired off the information, replaying what the judge had said, careful not to use Mitch’s name since Jax was sitting a few feet away.
“That’s amazing!” Jace replied, and I smiled at the audible smile in his voice. “I wish I was there to celebrate.”
“Me too.” My eyes welled with tears, a mix of happy and sad. He should have been there. It was only because of him that any of it had been possible. Mitch’s lawyers would have ripped to shreds any lawyer I would have been able to afford on my own. “Thank you, Jace. Without you, none of this would have—I’d still be fighting, or worse…he would have won.” I exhaled long and slow, calming myself. “I just can’t even—I can’t even tell you, how much this means to me and to Jax.--” my voice broke. “You’re not only an American hero, you’re our hero.”
“Hey now, don’t get me all choked up. I’m a big tough SEAL, remember? I have a reputation to protect around here,” he teased.
I smiled and wiped away the moisture from the corner of my eye. “Thank you.”
“Gorgeous, you are more than welcome. I’ll be home soon and we can have a big party.”
My heart fluttered at the word soon. I nodded, watching as Jax danced around the room with Mickey. More and more I could imagine it, Jace being a part of us. He had already become a part of me, something I’d never expected, but could no longer imagine losing. With each conversation, it became easier to picture him in our normal, everyday, crazy life. Taking Jax to the park, eating dinners together, watching movies, reading stories. All of it made sense to me. There wasn’t one part of it that held me back or made me wonder.
“That will be fun,” I said
, unable to find the words to fully explain the things I was thinking. I walked into the kitchen to block out some of the noise. I propped my hip against the counter, and asked, “How are things over there? Any word on when you’ll get to come back?” I held my breath, hoping he had an answer.
Jace sighed. “Not yet. There’s still a lot going on. Hopefully soon.”
I resisted the urge to point out that he’d been saying that for over a month. I chocked it down and forced a smile on my face, not wanting him to hear distress in my voice. The deployment alone was enough for him to deal with—I didn’t want to add to his stress. “Well, all of us will be waiting for you to get back. I’ll cook you the best steak you’ve ever had!”
Jace laughed. “Sounds good to me. Anything else on the menu?” His voice dropped into a low, seductive growl that rippled through me with a gentle shudder.
I poked my head around the corner and saw Jax on the floor, his head propped on Mickey, as he played with his toy dragon, making loud roaring sounds as he made it fly above his head. Satisfied, I went back into the kitchen, and lowered my own voice. “Possibly…what’d you have in mind, sailor boy?”
“Fuck, that’s sexy,” Jace groaned. “I want you Kat, every inch, every drop. You’re not going to be able to walk when I’m done doing everything I’ve been dreaming about.”
Shit. I had to press my lips tight together to keep from moaning as a bolt of heat pulsed between my thighs.
Jace laughed softly when I didn’t respond. “You still breathing over there?”
“Mmhmm, just…distracted,” I replied lazily.
“Wanna tell me about it?” He prompted.
I laughed. “If my three-year-old wasn’t fifteen feet away, there are a lot of things I’d tell you. As it is, you’ll have to wait for me to email you my thoughts.”
“Yes ma’am,” he said, laughing. I was about to respond, to shift the topic in another, more childproof direction, when there was a commotion on the other end of the line, voices barking out indecipherable orders. I pressed the phone closer to my ear, trying to make out the words. Seconds later, Jace came back on the line, “I gotta go, baby.”
“Okay…but—”
“I love you.”
Click. The line went dead.
I pulled the phone away, to see that the call had in fact ended, and a shiver of dread snaked around my stomach, pulling it in tight. His sweet declaration of those all important, three words, was swallowed up in a pit of darkness, and I knew that whatever had just happened, it wasn’t good.
Chapter Nine — Jace
I pressed my eyes closed tight, hating how my call with Kat had ended.
Not that I’d had a choice. Senior Chief Gerard had returned from a classified meeting, his face grave, and told us it was time to move. We ran from the room chasing after him, winding through the labyrinth of the ship, and when we were all finally gathered in the command center behind locked doors, he told us the terrorists had dropped all communication, except to send a video showing two of the hostages being beheaded. My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach at the news, all joy from my brief call with Kat melting into the background. The whole boat crew was equally sobered, and all chatter and banter fell away as Senior Chief Gerard launched into a spitfire series of instructions on our next move.
The time for planning, negotiating, and building strategies was gone. It was time to move. It was time to end the conflict.
The hours that followed were a series of rushed, barked orders, as my unit was shuttled from the ship by helicopters to a top secret location in Kuwait. I lost myself in the steady drone of the turbine engines, and although Kat’s memory clung to the back of my mind, I had no time to process the news she’d given me hours before. Hours that may as well have been days.
When I finally crashed into my bunk for the night, it all came back to me as though it was a distant memory, something that had happened days, or weeks before. I blinked hard, staring up at the top of the tent that sheltered me and my fellow SEAL, as we attempted to get some sleep. God, how long has it been? I didn’t know the answer. I’d always lost track of time when I was deployed. As I walked back through it, I realized I’d been gone for two and a half months already.
Kat had told me that she’d won—she had baby Jax back again. I smiled, playing the memory of her words, the excitement and relief that had been evident in her voice. She sounded happy. For the first time in a long time. My mind drifted as I closed my eyes, to imagining her face, hoping that the tired lines on her face, from stress and exhaustion, would be smoothed away when I saw her next. Not that it took away from her beauty. Hell, she’d be a knockout at sixty. I just wanted her to rest and catch her breath now that everything was settled.
At some point, I faded into sleep, my own stress crashing and pulling me under like a riptide.
* * * *
When my eyes fluttered open, the heat had warmed the thick canvas material, turning the inside of the tent into an oven. “Fuckin’ desert,” I griped, rolling out of my cot and stepping into my boots. The tent was empty—the bunk across from mine abandoned, and made up so tightly I’d wondered if I’d only imagined someone else being there the night before. I shook my head in an attempt to clear my mind, and pushed out of the tent. I’d been at this particular base before, on another tour, and found my way to the mess hall without much effort or thought, a relief, since I didn’t feel like I had much of either to give. I’d tossed and turned throughout the night, and the sleep I did get through had been littered with dreams of Kat and ended with her fading from sight, like she was some kind of ghost.
“Winslow!” Senior Chief Gerard barked at me as soon as I took a step inside.
I turned and saluted. “Sir.”
“We’re going out today. I need you to run point on this one.”
I gulped but nodded my understanding, hoping he chalked the sweat dripping down my neck to the heat, not nerves. In truth, it was a little of both. “Yes, sir. Have they found the base?”
Senior Chief’s face turned grey and he shot a glance over my shoulder before answering, his words slow, as though dragged from him. “We have the location. Another team was sent in last night, to secure the perimeter until y’all could get here. But…things went sideways. We lost two.” He clenched his jaw.
My heart stopped and slid down to my stomach. There were no words—all I could see was red.
“You and your team leave in fifteen. Get some chow.” Senior Chief Gerard dismissed me, apparently without anything further to add. It didn’t matter—we’d get the full story as a unit, right before we went in.
Knowing that two soldiers were dead stole away any trace of an appetite, and I settled with a cup of coffee, my mind quickly sharpening into a red hot knife, sharp and made of steel, ready for what was required of me. Of my team. I would lead, I would command, and we would win.
There wasn’t any other way.
* * * *
Under the cover of night, we stormed the compound. Thanks to the team that had gone before us, the perimeter of the bunker had been breached, the enemy retreating further into the bunker underneath an old factory that looked as though it hadn’t been operational in years. Thanks in part to the raid the night before, the factory appeared abandoned. We carefully stalked the halls, on silent feet, as we swept room to room, looking for any sign of either the enemy or the hostages. In a large room that appeared to have been used as an office, we discovered evidence of torture, but the blood we found was old, and although there were books and documents, nothing was of importance. Everything had been cleared out.
My team and I met up with the other half back at the entrance, after the search, and they’d found the same. Evidence that they had indeed been holding the hostages here, but now empty.
As I was about to send in the intel to the command post over the radio, a sound echoed down the hall, a loud clanging.
We raced down the hall towards the sound, weapons raised, and as we approached the so
und, two visions spliced together in my mind: the one in front of me, the hell that had turned into my reality, and the images and scenes from the nightmares I’d been having for months, ones that led me to finding Kat down some abandoned hallway, terrified and screaming my name. I took a deep breath, willing away the second vision. Kat wasn’t there—she was safe, probably home with Jax snuggled up next to her on the couch. I locked in on that image. I had to keep going. Once the mission was over, I could get home and we could all be a family together.
My thoughts steady once again, I pushed my team forward. Kyle led one team left, and I took the rest to the right, silently sweeping down the dingy hallways, lit only with low grade bulbs that gave off an ominous yellow light.
The noise rang out again, much closer this time. My breathing slowed, and my heart raced even faster, as we rounded the corner. A man stood there, loading a backpack with canned goods that had been lined up in one room I’d searched with my team minutes before. How did we miss him? The room erupted with yelling, and threats, as we approached. The man dropped his bag, raised his hands in surrender, frantically pleading in a language I recognized from my previous time in this country, but couldn’t understand. One of my men stepped forward and searched him, the rest of us keeping him in our sights.
“He’s just a scavenger,” the soldier who’d searched him said, backing away. “No weapons, not even a knife.”
We let the man go, and he gathered his backpack of food and ran out of the room, crying his thanks to us as he went.
“They’re not here,” Kyle said, turning to me once the man was gone.
I nodded as he voiced the sinking thought I’d been having for the past half an hour. “Let’s get back to the entrance and call it in. They might have more info.”
We did a final sweep, and went back to the main entrance of the factory. I broke away from the group, calling in what we’d found, to get the next set of instructions, ignoring the sting of regret that we hadn’t been able to find the hostages and rescue them. While we waited, we wandered back outside, sticking close to the building, and surveying the fence that had been the scene of the fight the night before. The one which had lost us two of our own. As I waited for a response from command, I couldn’t help but wonder what had happened. How had it happened? We hadn’t had a chance to get too many details, beyond what had been said in our final briefing.
