“And I know that. I’ve been there too, bro. Remember?” A crackling sound came through the speakers.
Ty decided to try and change the subject. “You home?”
It didn’t work. “Nope, not gonna let you run away from that.”
“Then what the fuck am I supposed to do? I don’t know what to say to make it right or make her believe me. ” He hated that they weren’t closer, that she didn’t feel comfortable enough with him to talk about her issues with her parents or her fears about relationships. This whole situation had turned into a mess, one he wasn’t sure he could fix by saying, I love you, constantly.
He pulled to the side of the road. An ache in his heart welled up for both of them. “Damn it!” He hit the steering wheel again. The pain in his hand erupted all over again. “Shit.” He put on his emergency blinkers and slumped in his seat. The rock music only agitated him further. He reached over and turned it off. A few cars slowed to see if he needed help, but he waved them on. He couldn’t deal with people yet.
“Well, I hate to say this, but you both are idiots. You didn’t push to learn more about her family and she was too burned and scared to open up to you and yet I’m sure you two fell for each other anyway.” Danny snorted.
Ty hated that his brother was right. At least, he hoped that she'd fallen for him despite their no strings attached relationship. “I hate you,” he muttered.
“No, you hate that I’m right. Which I am. Which means you owe me.” Danny chuckled.
Some of the hot air in his anger went out but he still hurt and knew he’d be feeling tender for quite awhile.
“Go back, talk to her, figure shit out, because I’d hate to see you a sad sack the next time I roll into town. And besides, mom and Aunt Patsy will have her hide for hurting you. You know mom has already heard and is probably calling the house right now.”
“Shit.” He'd forgotten about Aunt Patsy. He sent up a silent prayer that she hadn’t overheard him and Nessa arguing or seen him drive off. He turned off the emergency signals and flipped the turn signal and gunned it. On the way, he passed by a few cars, including a taxi cab. As soon as he saw the bright yellow body, covered in dust his heartbeat kicked up a storm. “Fuck, I think she’s taken off.”
“Get the fucking lead out! You don’t want her to get to town,” Danny warned.
“Why?” Ty demanded, confused by his brother’s logic. “What the fuck is in town?”
“Duh, her job interview! Being away from Aunt Patsy. A twenty percent off coupon at WhataBurger. Need more reasons?”
“For fuck’s sake, shut up!” Flashing red and blue lights had him swearing but he pulled over anyway. “Jesus.” He banged on the steering wheel once more.
“Careful, bro, that steering wheel may sue you for abuse and then where would you be?”
“Shut up!” Danny stayed silent while Ty dealt with the officer and accepted the speeding ticket before letting him go. He pulled into the driveway of the ranch twenty-five minutes later.
“Gotta go. Talk to you later.” He got out and dashed toward the door only to find it unlocked. Panic seized his heart. As angry as he was with her, he didn’t want her to have been pushed away so badly that the she took a cab home.
“Nessa!” he called out.
No answer.
Chapter Five
Nessa came out of the bathroom, wiping her damp palms on her jeans. All of her clothes were strewn all over the bed. She’d been attempting to get her stuff together to transfer to the guest room down the hall.
“Nessa!” Ty’s panicked voice reached her in the bedroom.
His pounding footfalls came up the stairs. He burst into the room, mouth parted, panting, eyes wild.
She frowned. “What the hell is wrong now? I’ll move out of this room as soon as I can get all my stuff together.” She went over to the bed and began folding things.
“I thought….there was a taxi...” His voice trailed off.
Nessa shook her head. “Do you know how much it would cost for someone to come all the way out here and pick me up? Anyway, I don’t have anyone to call to pick me up because they’re all doing stuff. You could always bring me into town but we wouldn’t have anything done for the party.”
He let out a gust of air. “Yeah, okay.”
“So why’d you come back? Want another round? Look, I know I made a mistake.” She drew in a deep breath. “I haven’t exactly had a lot of experience with love or acceptance.” She focused on placing her shirt into her bag. “My parents worship my older brother. They excused everything he did, whereas I was just the extra kid.”
Tears blurred her vision as small fissures in her heart reopened. She sniffled but refused to acknowledge the moisture dripping on the duvet or falling from her eyes. “This morning they called to tell me that Mike had found a job. It didn’t matter that he got it because I was one of his references. No. All they wanted to do was brag about how ambitious he was.”
From the corner of her eye she saw Ty move to the desk chair he’d used last night. She wiped away the water and continued packing. “My parents don’t hate me. They just never cared. In college I kept to myself, didn’t date, focused on my studies and getting a good job. Paul was the first boyfriend I’d had in a long time. I thought he was a good guy, at first. I didn’t even think of him as the boss’s son. And that was my mistake.” She zipped her bag shut. With nothing else to do but pour her heart out she sank down on the bed.
Ty remained silent, legs stretched, his gaze locked on her every movement. Whether he understood or not, she didn’t know. “I wouldn’t say he was my first love but when he said he loved me, I believed him. I didn’t have a lot of experience in that department.” A pang of embarrassment nudged some of her emotion away. She felt out of her depth and unworthy of him. Did other people have more to go on than her?
“I didn’t understand that he was manipulating me. He used love to convince me that by doing his work for him or finishing his stuff, I was showing I loved him. This was so different than my parents’ emotional abandonment. They’d left me to my own devices.”
Each confession felt like a needle being plucked out of her skin, reluctant to let go but needing to be released in order for Ty to understand. “I hadn’t really got acceptance from people other than my friends. Until you, I hadn’t been called beautiful or gorgeous from men that didn’t want something. My brother wants my recommendations and help to float through life. Paul, just wanted a fuck toy who would clean up his coding messes.” She shook her head again. “And so many others in between. I figured if I kept it safe and easy with you, I wouldn’t get attached, I wouldn’t get hurt. I didn’t mean to… I…”
“When you told me you loved me, I was angry and scared. What do you want from me? When would you realize that I’m not worth it? When would you start picking me apart? What would I have to do to prove my love to you and would you accept it or put someone else on a pedestal. I didn’t know.” She wiped away more wet trails as she carried her shoes to her bag.
“I don’t want anything but your love, honey.” Ty’s soft response to her question pulled her out of some of her misery.
“How could I know that?” She sank down to the bed. “Love has never been free for me. There was always a price to pay for some sort of acceptance or what I thought love was.”
“You had to trust me but I get it, now I understand. People in your life…yeah. I may not understand it all but I get why. An ex I thought I loved, Heather, wanted someone famous to marry. Didn’t want to work, just ride my coattails and spend my money while always on the lookout for someone else to use and leave. I was in the hospital after my first hip surgery. She left me right after I woke up.” Ty shook his head.
“It took my mom, Danny and some damn good friends to help me get through it and get back on the ice. I can’t, and won’t give up on what I’ve found with you. I’m still angry, baby, I won’t lie.” Ty scooted forward in his seat. “And it will take me some time to get ove
r the hurt but I also want what’s best for you. If you think the bar is where your heart is, stay with me. If you want to go back into IT work, go for it. I’ll support you one hundred and ten percent, but I won’t lie and say I’ll let you go just like that. We have a lot of work to do, baby. A lot. But I’m not walking away. One of the things I wanted to talk to you about was taking you on as a partner and having you run the bar while I oversee the ranch.”
She sucked in a breath and stopped what she was doing to stare at him. “You–” she swallowed. “You trust me with the bar? To run it?”
He sat back, blue-green gaze on her, features emotionless. “You’ve watched me for a year, seen how I deal with people, and Bruce and Maggie are there to help you if I can’t. I trust you that much. You know our regulars, you can handle the drunks and I’ll always be around to help out.”
She ruminated over the offer and had to shake her head. “I—”
“You don’t have to say anything now. Go to the interview with Briar. Weigh your options.” Ty got up and headed out of the room. “I’ll be back. Gotta close the garage door.”
She let him go without a single word, stunned by his offer and show of trust despite what she’d said to him. Her phone buzzed. Without, thought she answered it.
“Is he back? Are you okay now?” Danny’s voice seemed calm but she sensed an undercurrent of worry.
“Yeah, thanks. I’m sure he wouldn’t have come back if it weren’t for you, well, not immediately anyway. Did you know he wants to make me a partner in the bar?” She had to make sure that his brother was okay with this.
Danny chuckled. “Who do you think suggested it? Me and mom felt you do so much that you might as well be a partner. Is that bad?”
“How can you be so nice to me? I hurt your brother.” She couldn’t understand these Smith men.
“Because everyone has a story. I know I’m not a saint and neither is Ty. We just do the best we can with what we got, and I know my brother loves you, even if you weren’t supposed to find out like you did with Aunty Patsy.” Danny chuckled.
“Your aunt is–” she paused, trying to find the words, “—nosy but nice.” She smiled despite the fear the woman had instilled in her. “So many questions though.”
Danny’s laugh was more robust this time. “Yeah, she’s a real nosy one. I wouldn’t put it past Ty to make sure she wasn’t eavesdropping on your conversation.”
Nessa stilled. “No!”
“Yep. the woman doesn’t know when it’s none of her business. Mom’s probably heard about it and given Aunt Patsy a bug in her ear for getting in your business but we’re a close family. And you are family…” Danny’s voice trailed off.
“I am?” Nessa hated how small her voice sounded. So many verbal hits today and she could only take so much. Her vision blurred all over again. She sniffled as emotions cascaded into her chest, filling her heart to the point of bursting. How could they be so kind to her?
“I guess,” she said in between sniffles, “you want to take the partnership back now.”
Danny let out a low growl. “I’m gonna forget you said that. I know you’ve gotten a lot of information in a short period of time and I’m going to chalk what you just said up to that. I’ll see you soon. Just think on the offer okay, no pressure.”
“Okay.”
Danny hung up leaving her alone with her thoughts.
“Breakfast is ready,” Ty called.
He cooked for me? Jesus, I’m such a bitch. She packed up the last of her stuff but she left the bag there, to retrieve after eating. Her stomach grumbled, reminding her she hadn’t eaten anything since the night before. She could only imagine what Patsy had thought of her bursting out of the house like that. I need to make amends after I figure out this whole mess. Two great offers and she had no idea which way to go. Now she had even more reasons to stay in Texas.
When she got to the kitchen, she found that Ty had set the table, complete with orange juice, coffee, cream and sugar. He pulled out a chair for her and pushed it in once she was seated. “Thanks.”
“What’s wrong? Did you parents call again?” Worry scrunched his features and filled his eyes .
“No, talking to Danny. Your family is so…” She couldn’t find the words. Nice didn’t seem like an adequate descriptor. Wonderful didn’t sit well with her. “I don’t have words for it.”
Tears slipped down her face and she wiped them away with the back of her hand.
“They are pretty great. So, let’s talk about the Loving Day party.” He laid out his idea for it. Something simple with food, drinks and a celebration of love of all stripes.
She agreed with his idea. “This is a good start and we can get feedback from everyone for their ideas next year.” Without even realizing it, she was planning for next year’s event. A blush heated her face. If Ty noticed her choice in words, he didn’t comment on it.
“I think we should order a cake from Sweet Springs, one of those checkerboard ones they do, but I’m not sure about frosting.” His gaze settled on her, no emotion or enthusiasm.
Her heart ached to see him so withdrawn and reserved. Under normal circumstances he’d be more animated, arguing about party themes and diving into the details with gusto. For the rest of the meal she tried and failed to find a way to show him just how sorry she was but nothing seemed to make a dent. Their fun and sexy weekend had been shattered to pieces and nothing but time would repair the damage. By the time she climbed into bed that night in the guest room, she was ready to go home and lick her wounds. She just wished she’d had one more night in Ty’s arms before deciding her fate.
Chapter Six
One Week Later…
Ty hauled the last of the chairs up on the tables before he surveyed the rest of the bar. The Loving Day party had gone off without a hitch. Close to a hundred people had shown up and they’d managed to get the cake on short notice, despite the bakery’s popularity. He had promises that they would be back for the Stanley Cup playoffs which would keep the bar busy. All of that buoyed his hopes for the future of the Ice Rodeo Sports Bar. The only problem remaining was Nessa. It had been a week since the fight at his ranch and a few days since her interview with Briar. Due to the crush at work, they hadn’t had time to talk about anything beyond stock, issues with customers and schedules.
He hated the distance between them but they both needed time to think. The time away from her hadn’t dissuaded him from wanting a relationship with her; it had only strengthened his desire to be with her. After hearing about her asshat of an ex and her parents, all he wanted to do was show her that there were good people and she deserved to be loved, and was. His only problem: time. He just hoped she didn’t think he was no longer interested in her because of the lack of communication.
Bruce came over. “Hey, boss, I’ll lock up. Why don’t you head off?” He nodded toward Nessa who was wiping down the bar. Something she’d been doing since they closed the door. She glanced up at them and then looked back down.
“Looks like she wants to talk to you.” Bruce nudged him towards the counter.
Time to face the music. Ty headed in Nessa’s direction. “Did you drive or do you need a lift?” His face flushed and he wanted the earth to swallow him up at how gruff his voice sounded.
He cleared his throat and tried again, ignoring Bruce’s muffled chuckle behind him. “Do you want a lift?”
“Yeah, my car is in the shop.” She threw the rag aside. “Let me grab my purse.”
Her features were guarded and he didn’t blame her. Before this they hadn’t gone a few hours without talking and now silence. He felt like he was missing a limb. This was a start. His quick glance over at Bruce showed the big man giving him a thumbs up. Ty rolled his eyes and shot him the same sign before following Nessa to the back to the employee’s locker room where she was shrugging into a light sweater, her purse sat on the bench.
“So how have you been?” He rocked on the back legs of his chair before settling down on
his feet. To buy himself some time, he pushed up the brim of his hat. He studied her, absorbing every minute tick of her face and every body movement.
“Fine, tired, doing okay. You?” She didn’t meet his gaze.
“Nessa? Look at me.”He waited for her to comply, hoping she wouldn’t try to sidestep him.
Nessa lifted her chin, her dark brown eyes met his, her full lips thin, features guarded. “What?”
“I know we didn’t like the way we ended things at the ranch and after a week, I’ve come to the conclusion that I really don’t want to lose you. We have a lot of work ahead of us, that is, if you want to be with me.” He watched her nostrils flare and eyes widen. Her pupils grew large and her lips parted.
The pink tip of her tongue darted out, drawing his attention to her now shiny mouth. His palms tingled to touch her skin again. Unable to resist, he reached out and cupped her face. His thumb stroked the softness of her plump bottom lip. “I missed talking to you, honey. Missed being with you, not just intimately, not just sex but just being around you; the banter, the smiles, the hugs, feeling that connection with you. It’s been hell without you, baby.”
She covered his hand with hers, leaned her head into his touch, the corners of her eyes crinkled. She gifted him with a small smile. “I missed you, too, cowboy. Take me home, Ty. We need to talk.”
She picked up her purse and tugged him to the exit. “Come on.”
He went willingly, enjoying the contact once more. Her warmth seeped up his arm to fill his chest, arrowing down his torso to fill his groin and legs. Despite her short stature, he let her pull him out of the building and into the parking lot where he tugged on her arm to stop. “Whoa, there, Nessa, there’s something I need first.”
Before she could protest, he pulled her to him until she settled against his body. She tilted her head back, gazed up at him with something akin to amusement and relief in her eyes. “What?”
“I need to know what you’ve decided.” Before they could go forward he wanted to know before they got to her house.
Once with a Cowboy: Loving Day Collection (One Night Only Book 1) Page 6
