As he looked at the tiny head on the pillow, his heart clenched painfully. He’d never really considered what it was to love someone so much you were terrified something would happen to them. That type of vulnerability, especially to a man, was almost debilitating. Then he thought of Lydia and what she must have felt every day after finding out about Brett’s cancer. How had she had the courage to face each day knowing that she was going to lose him in the end? His respect for her grew even deeper as he tried to put himself in her shoes. She was truly a tower of strength and she’d tried to share that with him tonight, but he’d pushed her away.
He’d been struggling to control his emotions, what with Chris being a mess. Then Lydia had walked in and he’d been so fucking grateful to see her standing there—his calm in the middle of the storm. But instead of it making him stronger, he’d been horrified to discover that he was on the verge of tears. And at that moment, he couldn’t imagine anything more embarrassing than breaking down right there in front of her, Chris, and the strangers in the waiting room. Men just didn’t do that. Hell, he’d never seen his father cry a day in his life. He’d been coached from a young age that males were the backbone, the strength. His mother loved being taken care of in that way. He suspected it made her feel special. The only way Jacob had known how to deal with the sudden onset of emotion was to shut down. And that had been a lot easier to do with Lydia looking at him with those beautiful eyes, full of concern.
After they’d seen Casey, he’d all but insisted that she go home. He’d hurt her for the second time tonight; he knew that. First, he’d acted like a coward and an asshole when she’d told him she loved him, and then he’d excluded her from something she was very much a part of. He was making a mess of a relationship in his life that he so very much wanted to work. But a part of him was afraid to face how important Lydia had become to him in a very short amount of time.
Casey shifted in her sleep, pulling her hand out of his, and he had to fight the urge to grab it back. He resisted and settled back into his less than comfortable chair. He put his feet on the bedrail and laid his head back. Not exactly like being in his own bed, but it would have to do. He let his mind wander back to his earlier conversation with Lydia. She loves me, he thought. He waited for the anxiety to strike again—but it was strangely absent this time. Had it taken the fear of something horrible happening to the girl he’d thought was the only love of his life to make him see there were actually two of them now?
He’d been physically attracted to Lydia from the start of things. And even soon after they’d returned from Vegas, when she’d doggedly continued to mention getting a divorce, he’d pushed the subject away time and again. At that time, he was convinced he was doing it for his own gain, even though he’d been genuinely moved by her sorrow over the loss of her fiancé.
Now, he wasn’t so sure. Chris had backed down from her threats even though he was still pursuing joint custody of Casey. The court system was so backlogged it would take some time for his case to be heard, but Chris knew that he fully intended to go through with it. Yet he had no desire to divorce his wife. Actually, he couldn’t stand the thought of it.
Perhaps he wasn’t ready to accept that he’d wanted her for his very own that night because he’d been captivated from their first meeting. He had been upset about Chris’s demands, but he’d never been one to rush into big decisions without a lot of thought, and he was beginning to realize that he’d thrown his whole rulebook away with Lydia.
It might have been lust at first sight in that parking garage, but listening to her talk about losing her fiancé at the table in Vegas and seeing the tears well in those beautiful eyes had touched something deep inside him. He’d wanted to be the man to give her everything she longed to have. As crazy as it sounded, could he have loved her all along, from the very first night they shared? He damn sure couldn’t bear the thought of losing her. Just thinking of coming home at the end of the day to an empty house again was unthinkable.
Running a hand over his face, he accepted what he should have already acknowledged. He was in love with his wife, and he no longer questioned whether or not he wanted their marriage to be temporary. Shit, he hadn’t looked at another woman since he’d met her. He’d put it down to a hectic work schedule and spending time with Casey, but that had certainly never slowed him down before. No, the simple fact was he hadn’t wanted anyone else. A part of him had known from the start that she was it for him. The rest of him had just needed the time to catch up and the courage to admit the truth. Son of a bitch, I love Lydia.
With that revelation, everything seemed to fall into place for him, and he felt a peace he’d never known. He hadn’t been looking for it nor expecting it, but wasn’t that how the best things in life happened? He glanced at his daughter. She was one such surprise and had shown him that he had a capacity to love that he’d never imagined he could possess.
He reached for his phone, eager to speak to Lydia, and then realized it was after two in the morning. Didn’t he owe her something better than a late-night phone call when he admitted the depth of his feelings for her? Tomorrow, when Chris arrived, he’d go home to his wife and ask her what she was doing for the rest of her life. He hoped that answer still included him.
Chapter Thirteen
Lydia wasn’t sure what to do the next day. She awoke early that morning and Jake was still at the hospital. So she got ready for work as she normally would and ended up arriving at Danvers almost an hour ahead of schedule. She was preoccupied with Jake and thoughts of where if anywhere they went from here when she plowed right into someone. “Oh, sorry,” she automatically said, then jumped in surprise as a hand settled on her arm.
“Good morning, Lydia. Looks like we’re both early today.” Mark smiled at her. “Crystal was just getting dressed when I left, so she won’t be here for a bit.”
There was something so charismatic about Mark even though she wasn’t attracted to him. He was darkly handsome, with an infectious sense of energy that emanated from him. Shrugging, she said, “I decided to get a jump start on the day. I was worried about Casey and Jake, so I didn’t sleep that well.” Then the thought occurred to her that Jake might not have let Mark know what was going on yet. “Did Jake tell you that his daughter is in the hospital?” Her throat tightened just thinking of the beautiful child that she’d grown to love suffering the pain of a broken arm. She didn’t care if Jake or Chris wanted her there. She was going to see Casey on her lunch hour.
“He called me earlier this morning.” Mark nodded. “I understand she’s doing much better, but I’m sure it scared the hell out of him at the time.”
“It did,” Lydia agreed. She didn’t bother to add that she had no idea how things had gone the rest of the night since she was shown the door early on.
She was shocked when Mark pointed at a seating area in the corner and motioned her toward it. Curiosity had her taking a seat on the comfortable chair and looking at Mark expectedly. Mark sat across from her and crossed his legs before saying, “I’ve known Jake for a while now. And I’m just going to admit that I was rather taken aback when I heard that he’d gotten married in Vegas.”
Giggling despite herself, Lydia said, “I think we all felt that way, including Jake and me. It wasn’t exactly a normal evening in my life either.”
“No, I don’t imagine so.” Mark chuckled. “I think what’s been even more interesting, though, is how he’s settled down since his marriage.”
“Was he some kind of party animal before?” Lydia joked, only half kidding. She’d known that he probably wasn’t short on women vying for his affections, but was there more that she wasn’t aware of?
“I actually wasn’t talking about his personal life,” Mark interjected quickly. The look on his face told her that he didn’t even want to go near that minefield. “I’m not sure if you’re aware of it, but both Jake and I did a lot of traveling for The DeSanto Group until rec
ent months. I began to slow down on that when I met Crystal, and Jake gladly stepped up and took over my share. Even though I know it was hard for him with a daughter, he still did it without complaint. He and I are similar in that we’d rather do something ourselves to make sure it’s taken care of than to rely on others. Hence, why we traveled far more than should have been necessary.”
Confused, Lydia said, “But we’ve been married for going on three months now, and other than day trips, he hasn’t been anywhere.”
“That’s right,” Mark agreed. “I promoted my cousin and assistant, Denny, and he’s been handling the long-distance travel for us—a move that would have bothered Jake greatly at one time. But after his marriage, he fully supported and encouraged me in the decision.”
Then the reason behind Jake’s agreement hit Lydia and she leaned forward to explain it to Mark. “Casey’s mother had been making things hard for Jake, so I’m sure he wanted to be in town more often to avoid additional problems going forward.”
Mark drummed a finger on his knee as if debating something before finally saying, “I know about the issues with Chris. He loves his daughter, but he also wanted to come home to you every day. He’s in love with you, or he wouldn’t have given up something that he enjoys so much. There are very few things in this world that will slow down and change men such as us and that’s the main one. If not for Crystal, I’d still be circling the globe, so trust me, I recognize the same affliction in someone else.”
Lydia gaped at him in astonishment. “I—that can’t be right. He doesn’t—”
Rather than argue or attempt to reinforce his theory, Mark got to his feet and looked down at her one last time, saying simply, “He does.” And with that, he walked off toward the elevators and left Lydia reeling. Having a discussion about her love life with Mark DeSanto was one of the strangest moments of her life. Why had he told her all of that? She’d professed her love for Jake last night, and he’d acted as if he wanted to bolt. That wasn’t the reaction of a man in love. Whatever Jake’s reasons for changing his routine at work, they couldn’t have much to do with her.
Mark might know business, but she was certain he wasn’t privy to the personal feelings of his employees. No, unfortunately Lydia knew much more about Jake’s private life than Mark did these days—and she would soon need to decide if she was willing to settle for a life with affection, but no love.
* * *
Jacob’s parents made it to the hospital before Chris. They had barely been speaking to him over his Vegas wedding, but when they’d found out that their granddaughter was in the hospital, all of that had been pushed to the side. His mother buzzed into the room, and as usual, she looked impossibly young for her age. “How’s my baby?” she asked as she walked straight to Casey and smothered her with noisy kisses.
“I’m doing pretty good, Mom.” Jacob smirked.
His father walked in a few steps behind and rolled his eyes. “Son, none of us exist when the bug over there is in the room.”
Jacob laughed, acknowledging the truth of his father’s words. As the one and only grandchild, Casey held center court in his parents’ attention anytime she was around. Getting to his feet, he did the manly hug with his father and then crossed to his mother. She waggled a finger in his face saying, “I’m still mad at you.” He heard his father chuckling behind him as she continued to scold him. “My firstborn gets married and we’re not invited? I have a daughter-in-law I’ve never even met.” Looking suddenly skeptical, she asked, “Are you sure you actually have a wife? This isn’t some acting-out phase, is it?” Putting a hand on the side of his face, she studied him. “Have you been feeling okay? I’ve never heard you mention dating anyone, much less a woman named Lydia.”
As if the name finally penetrated the cartoon-induced fog she was in, Casey squealed, “Lydie! She my friend, Grandma. She cuts the crust off my sandwich and we pets the fishes together. Mama called her a ramp, but I still ain’t seen no skates yet,” Casey added in the innocent way that only a child can.
His mother looked from Casey to him before muttering under her breath. “Well, I guess she does exist since my granddaughter seems to know her.” Clasping her hands together and giving him a look that never failed to freeze him to his spot, she said, “Your father and I are staying overnight with you. I’ll make dinner and we’ll get to know your new wife. You don’t have a problem with that, do you?”
“Um, no, Mom,” he answered meekly. The timing wasn’t great, even though he didn’t want to tell his parents that. He needed to be alone with Lydia to discuss everything that had occurred the previous evening. It didn’t look as if that was going to happen now. He’d call her later to warn her so that she didn’t feel as if she was walking into an ambush. One thing was certain, though, if she stayed with him after the ass he’d made of himself in the last twenty-four hours, coupled with a surprise visit from the in-laws, then he’d damn sure know she loved him just as much as he loved her.
Chapter Fourteen
Frankly, Lydia was pissed off. Despite leaving him a couple of voice mails and a text message, she’d heard nothing from Jake all day. She’d been forced to resort to calling the hospital, only to find out that Casey had been discharged earlier. That left her with the afternoon to imagine him at Chris’s house playing happy family with her. No doubt, the other woman was milking it for all it was worth. She’d been practically wrapped around him at the hospital last night. Today, she was probably sitting on his lap and making everything all about her as usual. She could almost hear it now. “Oh, Jake, this has been so hard on me. I barely slept last night. My bed was so lonely and I was terrified. I just don’t know how I can continue to live alone after my scare.” And the scenarios played on and on in her head. Her feelings had nothing to do with Casey and everything to do with her manipulative mother. Jake might not be able to see it, but Lydia certainly did.
She stewed over it all the way home. What an inconsiderate jerk, she thought as she navigated the busy rush-hour traffic. It was better that she find out what kind of man he was now. She could deal with many things, but treating her as if she didn’t matter at all to him was just too much for her. And to think, she’d let herself indulge in the fantasy that he loved her as Mark had said. What a joke that was. Well, she’d had it. She’d be waiting when he got home and she planned to give him a piece of her mind. Then pack her clothes and go to her apartment. She’d talk to a lawyer tomorrow about a divorce and move on with her life.
When she reached their street and saw Jake’s truck in the driveway, her anger came to a boil. She should be happy that he wasn’t at Chris’s house, but all she could think was he had no reason why he couldn’t have taken her last call. She couldn’t remember ever being this angry before, especially at a man. Brett had never done anything to draw her ire. He called when he said he would and usually checked in during the day to see how she was doing. He wouldn’t have ignored her, brushed aside her words of love, nor made her feel as if she’d overstepped her bounds by coming to the hospital.
Lydia parked, then got out of the car and stalked toward the kitchen door. She opened it and got a thrill when it slammed behind her. And there he was, sitting at the bar looking as if he didn’t have a care in the world. Wait—was he seriously drinking a margarita? Lydia didn’t know why, but somehow that was the equivalent of pouring gasoline on a fire. “Hey, sweetheart, how was your day?” He smiled brightly at her.
Are you kidding me right now? Oh, hell no! In a move that surprised her, Lydia narrowed her eyes and stepped forward to grab his drink. He gave her a questioning look, still not seeming to realize how close to getting his ass kicked he was. She shifted as if bringing the glass to her lips before abruptly dumping it onto his head at the last minute. “How was my day?” she parroted over his gasps as the cold liquid ran in rivulets down his face and dripped onto the floor. “Well, let’s see. I dragged myself to the office at the butt crack of dawn t
his morning after having basically no sleep last night worrying about Casey and you. Then your boss pulls me aside to assure me of how much you love me, which I know can’t possibly be true since you practically broke out in hives in front of me last night when I told you how I felt. But against my better judgment, I started buying into it.” Gesturing wildly with her hands, she continued her epic rant. “I found myself thinking absurd things like maybe you’re just shy, which is laughable when you’re a self-admitted manwhore.”
“A what?” Jake sounded strangled as he gaped at her.
So fired up she couldn’t stop now even if she wanted to, she snapped, “You heard me, whipper zipper! You have a woman in every port. Love ’em and leave ’em. But silly me, I fell for you anyway. And I thought we had something good going. I mean sure, you shift around like your pants are full of bees when I try to have a relationship talk with you, but otherwise, it’s smooth sailing. Plus, we certainly can’t keep our hands off each other. I didn’t figure there was any way you were seeing anyone else with us going at it like bunnies.”
“Lydia.” Jake glanced around wildly before looking back at her. “Honey, I need to tell you—”
She was determined to finish unloading, so ignoring his pleas, she said, “But the absolute suckiest thing you could have done was to leave me at the office all day without answering my calls or texts.” She reached forward and poked a finger in his chest for emphasis. “I’m Casey’s stepmother and your wife. But I had to call the freaking hospital to find out if she’d been released! I love that little girl, and it killed me to be pushed to the side when she was hurt.” Tears filled her eyes as her emotions took a turn in the opposite direction. “Do you have any idea how that made me feel, Jake? I should have been there last night, and you damn sure should have kept me updated on her condition. If you cared about me at all, you would have wanted my comfort last night instead of Chris’s! I swear I could just choke you,” she finished weakly, suddenly exhausted.
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