“Come on,” Aubrey says. She gets to her feet, and I begrudgingly follow. “Thanks for everything, you guys. This was such a great night. I can’t wait to figure out how much we made.”
“I should have the tally tomorrow,” Cam says. “We sold a lot of tickets, so I’m confident we put a pretty good dent in the hundred thousand we need.”
“But we still have a long way to go,” Aubrey says. Her smile drops a few notches, and I wrap my arm around her shoulder and give it a squeeze.
“We’ll get there. We will just have to think of something else.”
*****
I lie in bed and stare at Drew, who is still fast asleep and snoring lightly on the other side of my bed. My latte-coloured silk sheets drape softly over his tanned chest.
For the second time in a week, I slept with Drew. The twelve-year-old in me wants to jump for joy, but that would just be creepy. Instead, I’ll just lie here and watch him to make this moment last as long as I can. Not only does Drew have the power to bring me to my knees, but apparently, he can turn me into a world class stalker, too. What kind of person watches someone else sleep? A fucking weirdo, that’s who.
Who knows where we’ll stand when he wakes up. Will he regret what happened? Will he tell me again all the reasons he can’t be with me? Even though this isn’t the first time we’ve been together, part of me is waiting for everything to blow up in my face. Things never go this smoothly for me. Especially with men. Either I don’t want them, and they can’t leave me alone, or I want them so badly it hurts, and they can’t act on it. There’s no in between for me.
Shivering, I reach over to the nightstand for my phone. As I scroll through the unopened messages from Nate, a pang of guilt cuts through me. He helped me when nobody else could. He deserves more than the way I’ve been treating him, but he just won’t take the hint that I can’t be with him like that. Not anymore. I’m done lying to myself, and that’s all being with Nate was. One big lie. That’s how it felt, anyway.
Nate: How are you settling in? Missing me, I bet. I can’t wait till you’re back here and in my arms.
Nate: You need your space, and that’s fine. You’re worth the wait, Aubs. You’re worth everything.
Nate: I never realized how annoying Jacey can be. Lol, only joking, you’re lucky to have a friend like her.
Nate: Aubs, talk to me. I miss your face.
Sighing, I shut my phone off and roll over. What does he see in me, anyway? How am I worth all the effort he seems to want to go to, to keep me in his life? Things would be so much easier if he’d just move on. I glance over at Drew. Like I have. Or am I just living in the past?
It feels like hours pass before Drew opens his eyes and glances around the room. They finally settle on me and he smiles in a way that makes my heart race. That’s a good sign, right?
“Hey,” he murmurs sleepily, stretching his arms above his head like this is any other morning, and it’s any other day, and this is exactly how he wants to start. It’s kind of normal and perfect.
“Hey, back,” I grin. I lift myself onto my elbow, my long, dark hair wrapping around my neck. “So…”
He chuckles and rolls onto his back. “Your brother would kill me if he knew I was in your bed.”
“Way to kill the mood,” I joke. “I was ten seconds away from giving you head, but now…” I shake my head and laugh.
“Oh, come on,” he coaxes. “I promise I’ll only think of Max for half the time.”
“You’re incorrigible.”
“Yeah, but that’s probably why you like me so much.” Drew tosses a wink in my direction, and I feel my heart melt just a little bit more. He’s definitely a ladies’ man—certainly knows how to work a crowd—but charming looks amazing on him, like he was built for the knight in shining armor deal.
“I have to head home for a little bit,” he sighs, throwing his legs over the side of the bed. He reaches for his pants, shrugging them on while I study his perfectly-shaped arse. “I only have another day off work, and I really need to get some washing done.”
“Does your boss know you’re a stripper yet?” I laugh. I sit up, tucking my legs under me, my hair tumbling around my shoulders. “And if you’re making so much money dancing, and could be making a lot more, why go back to welding?”
“Because dancing money is for Max, welding money pays the bills, Aubs.” He smiles at me, his eyes twinkling. “So, should I go home and clean my clothes, or are you going to take over the washing for me?”
“I’m sorry. Did we not have sex for just the second time a few hours ago? Now you want me to do your laundry? This is all moving a little quick for me,” I tease, and Drew hits me with a pillow.
“I guess asking you to move in would be too fast as well? What about marriage, is that out of the question, too?” he asks, and I’m not sure if he’s joking or not, but it scares the shit out of me. He has to go. Fast. I jump out of the bed, pulling on my robe.
“Okay, get out of here,” I say, all but pushing him out of the room. “I’ll come see you later after I visit Max.”
“How are you getting there?” he asks, cocking an eyebrow.
“A cab, Drew,” I explain patiently. “Cabs are an amazing mode of transportation. They take people from place to place for a small fee. It’s rather exciting.”
“Here in Australia we call them taxis,” he teases as I poke my tongue out at him. “Remember? I guess you can take the Aussie out of the Aussie girl.” He shakes his head sadly. “Living abroad has changed you, Aubs. Next, you’ll be calling me on your cell phone.”
“Go home,” I groan. I wet my lips, a devilish smile playing on them. “And for the record, you took the Aussie out of the Aussie girl about ten minutes ago.”
Laughing, he disappears out of my room. As soon as the front door opens and closes, I collapse back onto the bed and put a pillow over my face and scream, just in case he can still hear me. How did all of this happen? How did I wind up in bed with Drew? When my schoolgirl fit is over, I pull out my phone and bring up Emma’s number, then realise telling her about my wild night with Drew would be kind of creepy. I scroll down to Jacey and tap out a quick message.
Me: Bucket list item achieved.
Jacey: Are you talking about the sexy Aussie stripper I keep hearing about?
Me: Yep. Nailed it!
Jacey: I’ve never been more proud to call you my friend! Was it amazing?
Me: Better than I could have dreamed.
Jacey: Hot?
Me: OMG Jacey, you have no idea. SOOOO FUCKING HOTTTT
Jacey: I do have an idea. I watched the show on YouTube. But, text me when it’s not midnight the night before finals?
Me: Shit. Sorry. I gotta go record my routine for my exam, anyway. Love you. Good luck.
Jacey: Love you, bye, buttercup.
Jumping out of bed, I take a quick shower and throw on a pair of tights, black leotard and slip my feet into my pointe shoes that feel like a second home. I haven’t had any time to practice any more than I did before I left America, but this is the last thing I have to do to get my degree. My other finals were easy and done online in between all of the crazy surrounding Max.
This one, though; this is the make or break. This could be the difference in me actually getting somewhere with my dancing.
After running through the number a few times, I cue up the laptop, turn on the video recorder and start the music. The routine goes by fast. Too fast. I watch it back quickly to make sure it actually recorded, and I prepare to send. It’s hard to believe the last three minutes and forty-two seconds will determine my future. I think I killed it, but who knows? I may not have been able to do it in front of my instructors and heads of dance companies, but I hope I’ve impressed them enough to at least consider me for their schools.
I hit send on the video and pray for the best. It will be days before I hear anything, so instead of waiting around, I change out of my dance attire and exchange it for jeans and a long sweater. I gla
nce outside at the gloomy, grey sky and shiver. Right about now, I’m a little pissed about missing my New York summer.
Using the app on my phone, I hail a cab the new-school way and wait downstairs for the few minutes for it to show up. Right on time, as the app predicted, I’m heading toward Drew’s, a little too excited to see him again—especially considering it’s literally been hours since I saw him last. I’m not even sure if it’s more than a one-night thing, but I’m hopeful.
“Afternoon, ma’am. Who are you here to visit?” the doorman says, stopping me before getting on the lift.
“Hi, I’m heading up to see Andrew Ditner,” I grin. God, even saying his name gives me goosebumps.
“I should call ahead,” he says, smiling at me.
“I’d like to surprise him if that’s okay.”
“Your name? I can see if you’re on the approved list.”
“Aubrey Rosewood.”
“You’re Max’s kid sister, right? I’ve heard a lot about you.” And there it is again. Max’s little sister. Let’s just hope Drew still doesn’t see me as the doe-eyed kid who chased around after him and the other guys. Let’s hope I’m just Aubrey.
“Yep, that’s me,” I say with a groan.
“Max helped us out by designing new logos for us last year. Nice guy. Shame about him being sick again.” He shakes his head. “Go on up, Ms. Rosewood. Have a good day.”
“Thanks.”
Walking over to the lift, the doors swing open as soon as I press the button. I push the number for Drew’s floor, nervously pacing the small area as I wait. I’m excited at the idea of being with him again, but at the same time, I’m terrified of getting hurt. He’s the guy I spent so many years loving, and while I didn’t really understand love back then, I do now.
I find myself doing something I never do—thinking about the future. Would I move back to Australia for him? Is that even what he wants? I know I’m getting too far ahead of myself, but I can’t help it. Overanalyzing every situation is what I do best. Taking a deep breath, I force myself to calm down before I do something embarrassing, like collapse in the lift.
The doors open and I walk out, rounding the corner toward his apartment. The sound of laughter fills the hallway, and I stop in my tracks when I hear Drew’s voice. There, at the end of the hall—less than twenty feet away from me—is some blonde woman with her hands on Drew’s belt buckle. She smiles up at him as she lowers herself to her knees. My heart races as I watch. I want to look away, but I can’t take my eyes off them. I keep waiting for him to push her away, or do something to show me there is another explanation for what’s happening, but he doesn’t. In fact, he doesn’t do much to stop her at all. He leans back against his door and says something to her, but I can’t make it out. Tears sting my eyes. All I want to do is run and hide before he sees me, but it’s too late. He looks up, his eyes locking on mine.
Shit. I back away toward the lift, desperately smashing my hand down on the button, praying it will open. Come on. Please, hurry up. But it’s too slow. Drew rounds the corner, a pained expression in his eyes. I turn away. I can’t look at him, not without crying, and I refuse to let him see me that vulnerable.
I shouldn’t be surprised. It’s Drew. What did I think was going to happen, that he was serious about me? Shame on me for thinking that was even in the realm of possible. This is exactly what I deserve for trusting him. For trusting anyone.
“Aubrey, wait. Please!” He reaches for my arm, but I shrug him off. Not thinking clearly, I dash over to the stairwell, pushing the heavy door open. I’m halfway down the first flight before he even makes it inside.
“Stop and listen, for God’s sake,” he growls, his voice echoing. He’s gaining on me, but I keep going. Why the hell does he have to live on the fifteenth floor?
“No, it’s fine. My bad for thinking I actually meant something to you. I’ll see you around, okay?” I mumble the words without slowing or pausing, as I wipe the tears from my eyes to clear my vision. He can’t see me like this. Of all the times he’s made me cry—unintentionally, of course—he’s never seen the pain. He has no idea the hell he caused me growing up, just like he has no idea what I’ve been through since.
And, as it turns out, ten years makes no difference. The pain is still just as real. Only, this time, I gave him a piece of me I can’t get back.
“Dammit, Aubrey. Come on.”
The pounding of his boots gets closer to mine no matter how fast my legs are moving. I will myself to move faster, the bottom of the stairwell approaching faster. I’m almost there. Then I can disappear into the crowd of city traffic. But then suddenly, I’m sick of it. I’m sick of running. I’m sick of chasing someone who can never love me back. With my lungs burning, my legs on fire and my skin slick with sweat, I stop at the door leading outside and turn around. Drew curses, nearly colliding with me.
“What, Drew? What could you possibly want? What could you have to say that makes what I just saw okay?” I laugh, wishing I was actually capable of hating the face staring back at me. Instead, I ache. I can barely breathe through the pain I’m feeling. “It’s my own fault for letting you get to me.”
“It’s really not what you think,” he says between pants. “Darla is my neighbour, and a shitty one at that. She’s nothing more than a friend. Hell, she’s not even that.”
“Right, let me guess, she was helping you adjust your cock? How nice of her!” I take a step back so I’m against the door, putting some distance between us. Only now I feel trapped. I keep talking, because if I don’t get this out now, I never will. “I might be a few years younger than you, Drew, but I’m not stupid. For you to expect me to believe your bullshit says a lot about how little you think of me.”
“Dammit!” Drew bellows. “Would you just hear me out?”
He slams his fist against the wall, making me jump. Memories of the past I’ve worked so hard to forget come flooding back, engulfing me. I can’t think straight. I stare at Drew, my eyes wide with fear as I struggle to breathe. In all the years I’ve known him, and the many sides of him I’ve seen, I’ve never witnessed him this angry. It’s the kind of anger where I’m not sure what he’s capable of.
“What? You think I’m going to hurt you?” He frowns at me, his blue eyes wounded. “You think I could ever do that to you? You think I’m that much of a coward that I’d actually hurt you, Aubs?”
“Lower your voice and take a step back, please,” I whisper, holding my hands up. My voice comes out shaky and scared, because I am. I’m terrified because I feel like I’ve been through this before and it didn’t end well.
“Aubs, I could never hurt you. Physically or…” He shakes his head in disgust. “I’d never hurt you in any way. I love you too much for that.” His voice softens, as do his eyes. “Please, come here.” He extends his hand, and those tears I was holding back spill down my cheeks.
“Don’t think this means I’ve forgiven you,” I mumble, sliding into his arms. I rest my head against his shoulder, his warm embrace comforting and exactly what I needed, and I feel myself relaxing. I take a deep, shaky breath and pull away long enough to let him study my face.
“What happened to you, Aubs?” Drew whispers. He reaches forward and strokes my cheek, his eyes filled with concern. “You’ve known me your whole life. Have you ever seen me so much as think about striking a woman?”
“No. Of course not. I…” I inhale, my heart racing, and sink down onto the bottom step, with Drew next to me. He takes my hand and holds it tightly in his. “Freshman year, I started dating a Senior, and he was all nice until he wasn’t. That’s basically it.” I shrug, hoping he takes the hint that I’m not ready to elaborate.
“He hit you?” Drew asks, his brow furrowed.
I laugh. “I wish that’s all he did.” His grip on my hand tightens, and I lift it to my mouth and kiss it softly. “I’m okay. I’ve dealt with it and moved on.”
“I hate to break it to you, but what I saw tonight isn’t movi
ng on,” Drew says softly. “You might feel better if you talk about it. You don’t even have to talk to me. Just someone.”
“I have spoken about it,” I mutter.
We all have those little experiences that change who we are, or who we want to be. Jason taught me how I deserve to be treated and what kind of behaviour I won’t tolerate. Nate taught him how to respect women. I’m so thankful I had Nate come into my life back then, but all the talking in the world didn’t erase what happened.
“Honestly, Drew? The only thing that is going to make it hurt less is to pretend it never happened and do everything in my power to make sure it never happens again.” I turn to him, a tiny grin forming on my lips. “Did you know I’m a black belt in karate? I could take you down, Ditner.”
“I don’t doubt it for a second,” he chuckles. “I’m so sorry, Aubs. I hate that someone made you feel like that. I would never hurt you. You know that, right?”
“And what I saw up there?” I ask, nodding my head upwards. “I suppose I totally misread that too, right?”
“Would you really still be standing here in my arms if you thought I could do that to you?”
I don’t answer, because honestly, I don’t know anymore. I want to believe that he’s telling me the truth, but I’ve been hurt and lied to so many times before…
“Darla is my neighbor. A very annoying and demanding neighbor who refuses to leave me alone,” Drew begins. He takes my hands, his eyes focused on mine. “What you saw was me telling her how old this was getting, and if she didn’t leave me alone, I’d be applying for a restraining order.” He shakes his head, his expression solemn. “I’m sorry you had to see that, but I promise you’re the only girl in my life right now.”
“Okay,” I nod. I believe him. But I’m exhausted, and I need time to process.
“Just okay?” he repeats, looking a little hurt.
“I believe you, Drew. I really just want to go home now, if that’s all right. I need time to think. Because you’re you and I’m me and you’re all I’ve wanted since I was young, and now I’ve had you and I have no idea what that means,” I ramble, unable to stop the words from falling out of my mouth. “I just don’t know what’s going on and I need to process. Can you let me do that? Please?”
Slow Grind (Men of Mornington Book 1) Page 14
