CAN’T BE LOVE
CAN’T BE LOVE
A Westin Pack Novel
By
Julie Trettel
Can’t Be Love
A Westin Pack Novel: Book Five
Copyright ©2018, Julie Trettel. All rights reserved.
Cover Art by, Desiree Deorto Designs
Editing by, Sara Meadows of TripleA Publishing Services and Beth Culver
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means without permission from the author.
Purchases should only come from authorized electronic editions. Please do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials.
Thanks and Acknowledgments
The final book. We made it!!! Thanks so much to everyone who has stuck it out through all 5 Westin Books. It’s certainly been an exciting adventure, but while Westin Pack comes to close, the world that was started here will go on. I have you, the readers, to thank for that. Because of your love and support, I promise there will be many more shifter books to come!
Huge shout out to my fam, as always. They put up with so much so I can live my dream. I’m lucky to have found my one true mate at an early age and blessed by four amazing kids who are quickly turning into young adults I’m very proud and honored to have helped shape.
Special thanks to Beth Culver for coming in and joining my crazy editing family. Love this girl and greatly impressed by the dedication and hard work she put in to help shape Lily’s story. Looking forward to working through many more books to come.
Table of Contents
Thanks and Acknowledgments
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Epilogue
Dear Reader,
SNEAK PEEK
Chapter 1
SNEAK PEEK
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
About the Author
Lily
Chapter 1
Exiting the car, I stretched and smiled. There was something nice-smelling in the air that called to me, and I liked it. Collier territory was beautiful. I had visited here numerous times in my life, but something felt different this time.
Liam helped unload the car and I was bursting with excitement. It was the first time Maddie had been back to visit her home pack since my twin brother had found her. It was pretty cool that my oldest and dearest friend turned out to be my twin's one true mate, and I was really happy for them. All my siblings had found their true mates, and I couldn't wait till I found mine.
I was practically skipping and loving the wide-open space of Wyoming, when Liam gave me a concerned look. “What is wrong with you?”
Maddie laughed. “Leave her alone. This place just has that effect on people.”
Madelyn looked happy, I thought.
“Sweetheart, are you okay?” Liam asked her, and I knew he was worried about her being emotionally overwhelmed by this trip. That's why he had asked me to tag along. I had a way of pulling her out of her shell.
Madelyn Amanda Collier Westin (sometimes we called her MC), was my very best friend in the entire world. We had met at summer camp when we were six years old and we were practically inseparable every year after, until the day that she had disappeared. Eight years later, my brother found her living a new life in the human world and brought her home.
Oscar, MC's son, bounded out of the car. He was clearly as excited as I was. It didn't take long before Maddie’s sisters swarmed, fawning over Oscar and MC. She had five sisters, and one douchebag brother. I couldn’t remember the last time I saw Thomas.. He was a year younger than Maddie and me, and had been a pain when we were kids. He had disappeared and pulled away from the family after Maddie's disappearance. Asshole.
We headed for the Alpha house that Maddie had grown up in as everyone started grabbing our things and giving a round of welcome hugs.
There was something so familiar about the Collier Alpha house. It made me happy just to be there.
Cora and Zach Collier were good people. Zach was Alpha of the pack, and a great leader. Having shared the Alpha brat experience had helped Maddie and me become fast friends so many years ago. Few understood the pressures of that role, so it was a unique bond we had formed.
They had visited Westin a few times, but seeing Madelyn home was triggering a chain of tears and high emotions.
Sorry girl, I silently sent to Maddie. I'm out of here!
Leaving them to their reunion, I headed back outside. I breathed in the crisp mountain air, and it made my whole body start to tingle. Mate, I thought to myself.
I didn’t want to freak out, and I could barely contain my excitement. I just knew my one true mate was here. He had to be a Collier, and I could live with that. I had waited my entire life to feel this tingly sensation that had the hair on my arms standing up.
My siblings had all fought their bond in some way, but I knew that would never be me. The magic of true mates was so romantic. It was something I had dreamed for and longed of my entire life.
There were several groups of people around. Unlike the Westin Alpha house that sat back in the woods and away from town, Collier's Alpha house literally sat on the main street of town.
People had obviously heard of Maddie's visit ahead of time and were anxious to catch a glimpse of her. I started walking around and saying hello to the people I passed, trying to make eye contact with every male in the area. I knew the moment our eyes met, I'd recognize him and everything was going to be perfect.
My senses were on full alert and I imagined my wolf was wagging her tail happily. He was here, this was it! There was even more of a spring in my step as I anxiously honed in on my mate, my one true mate! It took everything in my power not to “eek” out loud in excitement.
I channeled a little more of my wolf and let her guide me. We rounded a corner, and I saw a group of young men standing around talking. Every single one of them was super sexy hot. Yes, please! I was getting a super sexy hot mate. It was the greatest day of my life.
I looked at each of them, wondering which one he was. They all smiled and nodded as attention turned toward me. I was careful to make eye contact with each of them. Nothing. Then I noticed the one with his back turned stiffen. His shoulders sagged, and he took a deep breath. I was acutely aware of how his heart rate sped up and I was a million times positive that this was him, the man I had longed for my entire life.
I took a moment to check out and appreciate my mate. The thought alone had me grinning from ear to ear. He looked to have close-cropped brown hair. He was wearing a black flannel shirt tucked into tight jeans with a wide belt, completing the package with a pair of black cowboy boots. My very own cowboy. I quickly admired just how well his ass filled out those jeans. I already knew he was hotter than ho
t and he was all mine.
He slowly turned around and our eyes locked. It felt like my entire world tilted and he was the new gravity holding me in place. Wow, I thought. He had the most alluring chocolate-brown eyes. I was mesmerized. This was everything I had ever dreamed it would be.
Recognition flickered in his eyes first, breaking the fog I had found myself in.
“Lily Westin?” I heard him say in a deep, sexy voice that had my body trembling.
Surprised that he knew my name, I shook my head and took a closer look. Revulsion immediately set in. I couldn't believe what my eyes were telling me. I couldn't believe what my heart was telling me.
“Thomas?” I spit out, disgusted at the very thought. “Oh, hell no!”
I turned and ran as fast as I could. I had to get away from there. God was a good, loving, and kind God. There was no way he could possibly be cruel enough to condemn me to Thomas Collier as my one true mate. I had to have read things wrong. This could not be happening to me.
Thomas
Chapter 2
I had tried to ignore the tingling sensation alerting me to my mate’s arrival—not just a compatible mate, but my one and only true mate. I wanted to identify her before I let on that she was there. I didn’t even understand how it was possible. I knew every eligible woman in Collier Pack, so unless she was very young and recently turned, I didn’t know how it could be happening.
I thought hard. My sister Maddie was coming to visit. I knew she was bringing her family, but Dad hadn’t mentioned anyone else.
It was the oddest sensation. I felt her getting closer and imagined my wolf jumping up and wagging his tail in anticipation. I itched all over like I needed to shift.
Suddenly, there she was with big blue eyes that stared back at me in a dreamy way. It wasn’t until recognition flashed on her face that I realized I knew her. I flinched when she spat out my name, cursed, and ran off.
Lily Westin. My one true mate was Lily freaking Westin. She had been my sister’s best friend when they were kids. Every male wolf within at least three packs had lusted after her at some point in their life. Heck, she had starred in my first wet dream when I was only twelve. Even as a kid she was super hot and completely unattainable. And now she was mine.
I grinned at her retreating form. Lily freaking Westin. My mate.
She and Maddie had been inseparable every summer growing up and Lily often visited us throughout the year, too. I cringed, remembering how I’d tormented them. While I enjoyed playing the classic bratty baby brother role, I had always gone above and beyond in hopes of getting Lily’s attention any way I could.
In truth, Maddie was only ten months older than me, and Lily only six. But they never let me forget that I was younger, just a little kid they were too cool to be bothered to hang out with. I thought as we got older maybe that would change, but when Maddie was sixteen she’d run away from home. We only recently found out what had happened to her when her true mate, Liam, who happened to be Lily’s twin brother, had found her and brought her home. Apparently, she had kids now, too. Mom had talked about nothing else since the day Liam Westin had called my parents to tell them the news.
Madelyn and I had been close growing up. Whenever Lily wasn’t around, she was cool. Being so close in age helped, too. I had five other sisters who constantly doted on me, the only boy in a house of six girls, and I was the baby of the family, which meant I had gotten away with pretty much everything, until Maddie disappeared.
Mom had smothered me, terrified something bad would happen to me, too. No one could truly understand what that was like. Ruby had come home to help out, but the others had all moved out and there was no one left to buffer my mother’s fears.
They always somehow knew Maddie was alive. Mom had prayed for her and held on to that hope until the day of Liam’s fateful call. I hadn’t understood how it could be possible. If Madelyn was alive, why hadn’t she just called or come home?
They said she’d been through something pretty traumatic, but I couldn’t understand how anything could be so traumatic that you couldn’t call or come home for eight years. I get she went through some deep stuff, but that’s what family’s supposed to be for, to pick you up at your lowest and carry you through the tough times. Maddie had chosen to reject us during that time in her life, and I was struggling to forgive her.
Shelby had made it to her wedding and said she was doing great. She was happy, in love, and had the cutest little family. The picture she painted only made me angrier. I was only fifteen when she’d disappeared. The little bit of life and freedom I was just beginning to experience had been ripped from me. For the first year Mom had even insisted on homeschooling me, afraid to let me out of her sight for even a second. Naturally I rebelled, and Dad had eventually convinced her to let me return to school. I’d had to hold to a strict curfew though, so while my friends were out partying and enjoying high school, I was still tightly guarded.
The second I graduated, I took off and considered never returning. I knew my responsibility to the Pack, though. As the only son to the Alpha, I was the sole heir to the throne, so to speak, and they never let me forget it. I’d been groomed my entire life to take over as Alpha someday. It was a heavy burden, but it was mine alone to bear.
Every year on the anniversary of Maddie’s disappearance, the Pack would hold this big vigil. I knew Lily always came—every year, except this most recent one. Turned out that was because she was busy reconciling with a ghost.
When we realized Maddie was gone, a full search was put into place. The best trackers around had been called in during the weeks following, but it was too late. She had been at a concert and heavily drinking from what the friend that had been with her told us about that night. The alcohol had made it difficult to catch her scent and only faint signs of her had ever come up, but it was enough to give them all hope. I couldn’t deal with it.
As soon as I was old enough, I refused to come home during that week, or purposely planned whatever trip possible to ensure I was out of the country. I started to get a playboy reputation amongst the packs, which to my surprise made me quite desirable to the ladies. I had never struggled to find companionship, but it had always been empty, lonely. I longed for the connection of a mate, and suddenly, here she was, and from the look of disgust on her face, she had zero interest in me, but I was ready to do what I had done my entire life—chase Lily Westin. What did I have to lose?
A cocky grin spread across my face as I said goodbye to my friends and set off on the hunt for my mate. This was going to be fun, at the very least.
As I turned the corner, heading down the main strip of town towards my parents’ house, there was a crowd forming in the middle of the street.
Maddie, I thought.
I knew it was an asshole move not to be there when she arrived. I was happy my sister was alive, I was just still angry with her over the whole situation. It was a weight that had been pressing down on me my entire adult life and I didn’t know how to let it go.
If it weren’t for Lily I probably would have turned away and avoided the reunion, but my wolf and I were in predator mode with our eyes set on one thing.
“Thomas,” my mother said, motioning for me to come over. She looked surprised to see me and it hurt. I didn’t want to disappoint her, and yet I had for so long, and always where Madelyn was concerned. “Thomas, it’s Maddie,” Mom said, hugging my sister with tears streaming down her face.
When Mom finally let go of the woman, Maddie turned towards me. She had always been pretty, and it was clear that hadn’t changed, but there was a grownup quality to her I couldn’t overlook.
“Hi, baby brother,” she told me with a hesitant smile.
Shit. I realized people must have warned her about me. I wasn’t ready to forgive her, but I didn’t want to upset Mom even further, so I pushed down my personal feelings and stepped forward to hug her. My wolf growled in my head and I struggled to maintain some semblance of control. She was my sister; m
y wolf shouldn’t be reacting so strongly.
Mate. The word kept playing over and over in my head. My wolf was very distraught over Lily’s earlier reaction.
“Welcome home,” I told Maddie in a strained voice. The looks shot my way told me I sounded like an ass. I truly didn’t mean to, I was just trying to get a grip on my wolf.
All Alpha wolves were strong and often overbearing, but mine had always been more powerful than most. In my wolf form, he was fierce and no one dared challenge me, but ever since my first shift we had struggled for dominance. The last thing I needed was Lily Westin in our territory.
“You remember Liam and Lily?” she asked. “And this is . . .”
“Patrick O’Connell, yeah, I know everyone, Mad.”
“Oh,” she said, seeming to struggle with what to say next, then she smiled up at me. “Bet you don’t know these guys?” Maddie moved a blanket aside from the tiny bundle Liam was holding in his arms. “This is Sara, your niece, and your nephew. Oscar, this is your Uncle Thomas.”
A boy with dark hair and dark eyes stepped out from behind Liam Westin with a shy smile. “Hi,” he said awkwardly.
I knew Maddie had a kid, but I wasn’t prepared for the boy before me. He had to be eight or nine years old. I had somehow envisioned a baby or a toddler even, not a full grown child.
Liam nudged him toward me.
“I’m Oscar,” he said, not quite making eye contact, and it dawned on me that he was sensing my wolf so close to the surface and recognizing me as an Alpha. I didn’t want to scare the kid. I actually liked kids.
I chanced a look around and zeroed in on Lily, who was shooting me daggers, and I knew I had to calm down. Her look alone shot pain straight through my heart that I wasn’t prepared for. Ignoring it as best I could, I bent down to Oscar’s level. “It’s nice to meet you Oscar,” I said aloud, then bent over to whisper, “҆Bout time we had another male in this family.”
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