by Cathryn Fox
“They’re not nearly as nice as the ones at the market,” Jaxon says.
“They were nice, weren’t they?” I say, not bothering to tell him I need all my pennies for the important things like food, school, and a roof over my head. I’m buried in student loans, and need to be very careful.
Cassie looks up at me with those big blue eyes. “I like this hat, Rachel,” she says and it warms my heart. She might have wealthy in-laws, but her father is definitely teaching her money isn’t everything.
Jaxon checks his watch. “We’d better get going. Your Grandma and Grandpa are going to be at the house any minute and we still need to get you packed.”
“Yay,” she says and when we leave the mall we’re once again swinging her until we get to the car. Jaxon takes us back to his place, and we all climb from the car. The music in my house is the first thing that reaches my ears. Another Friday, another party. Ugh, how will I make it to spring? I’m not sure, but I’m going to have to start the search for a new place then. I don’t think I can do another year with all the partying. Then again, maybe they’ll get it out of their system, and straighten up next year.
“Guess you’re sleeping at my place tonight,” Jaxon whispers in my ear as we head inside.
“Oh, you think?”
“Yeah, I think. Music or no music, that was the plan all along.”
I laugh. “Pretty sure of yourself.”
“We got the place to ourselves, Rach, and I’m going to make your moans drown out the music next door.”
My heart leaps, and a little idea forms in the back of my mind. “Maybe I’ll do that to you, instead.”
He grins, unlocks the door, and ushers us all inside just as the in-laws pull up to the curve.
“Grandma and Grandpa are here,” Cassie yells. “I need to pack.”
“Come on, I’ll help you,” I say quickly, not wanting to be left alone with them. The conversation was awkward and stifled last time. No way do I want to go through that again.
I capture Cassie’s hand and she skips as we head down the hall. I grab her overnight bag, and sit on her bed. I love what Jaxon did with her room. All pretty and pink, with rainbows painted on the wall. Then again, perhaps it was Cassie’s mother who’d done it before she left. My gaze goes to the picture on her nightstand. Mother and daughter, and my heart aches, thinking about my own ruined frame and picture. I didn’t have a lot of time or room to take all the things I wanted, but no way was I fleeing without that picture of Mom and me.
I examine the picture as Cassie pulls clothes from her dresser. She’s chatting about what she wants to do for her birthday party, and I’m half listening as I touch the frame. Cassie looks like she’s about three in the photo. My gaze roams to her mom. She’s breathtaking, and I can totally see the resemblance of mom and daughter, and definitely understand why Jaxon is still in love with her. A pang of sadness settles in my stomach.
Easy, Rach. This is a sex only affair with a timeline.
“That’s Mommy,” Cassie says flatly, and I lift my head to see her staring at me.
“She’s very pretty, Cassie. Like you.” I set the photo back down and listen to the voices down the hall as Jaxon speaks with his in-laws.
“Grandma and Grampa told me Mommy loves me.”
I hold my arms out to Cassie and she comes to me. I give her a hug, and pull the elastic from her hair. “I’m sure she loves you very much.” Cassie shrugs and I reach for the brush on her nightstand. As I run it through her long, blonde curls, Cassie frowns at the picture.
“Daddy wants me to keep this on my nightstand. He doesn’t want me to forget Mommy.”
“Mommies are very special.”
She goes quiet, and I wonder what’s going through that busy brain of hers. “Do you have a mommy?”
“Not anymore.”
“Do you miss her?”
“Very much.” Needing a chance in subject, I say, “I bet Gina is going to love her doll.”
“She’s going to love it.”
“Do you want your hair in a ponytail, or do you want to leave it down?”
“Down,” she says and bounds away, bouncing back from mommy conversation much quicker than me. I help her put all her clothes into her bag and follow her to the bathroom to get her toothbrush. Jaxon’s voice has lowered significantly as he speaks to his in-laws in the front entrance way.
Once ready, she runs down the hall and throws her arms around her grandmother and it brings a smile to my face. Judy lifts her head, and her smile falters a bit when she sees me. “Nice to see you again, Rachel,” she says.
“You as well,” I say, and smile at both her and Karl. I turn to Jaxon, who blinks quickly when he catches me studying him. I’m not sure what they were talking about, but it must have been serious, judging from the concerned look on his face.
“She has a party to go to at two tomorrow,” Jaxon informs them. “If you could have her back here at one.”
“We’ll drop her off at the party. Just let us know where.”
“You sure?”
“We want all the time we can get with her,” Karl says and picks up her bag. Jaxon produces the invitation. “The address is on here. I’ll pick her up at four when it’s over.”
“Perfect.” Karl bends to his granddaughter. “How about pizza tonight?”
“Yay, I love pizza.”
Jaxon gives his daughter a kiss and hug before her grandparents lead her out the door. Once gone, Jaxon locks up and turns to me.
“About those steaks.”
“Everything okay?” I ask and follow him into the kitchen.
“Yeah, sure.”
Between my father and my ex, I can easily tell when someone is lying or keeping things from me. It’s not my business, but Jaxon is clearly upset and I don’t like seeing him like this.
“Jaxon, what is it you’re not telling me?”
He lowers himself onto a kitchen chair and pulls me onto his lap. He takes a big breath, lets it out slowly and says, “I got a text from Sarah last week.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, came out of nowhere.”
“Why now?”
“If I had to guess, I’d say it had to do with our run-in with Jessica. They were best friends and maybe they’re still in contact.”
I stiffen in his arms. A text from Sara. Is that what had him distracted for the last week? Here I thought it had to do with either Cassie nearly catching us in bed together, or the incident at the school, but maybe I was wrong. Maybe the thoughts of seeing Sara again has him preoccupied. Why wouldn’t it? He still loves her and wants her to come back to them clean.
“Oh. What did she want?” I ask, not sure if I really want to hear the answer.
“Not sure. Judy heard from her too out of the blue. She’s said she thinks she might have been able to talk her in to coming home.”
“Oh, wow.”
“That could just be hopeful thinking, though. I didn’t want to burst her bubble or anything, but Sarah’s has a knack for saying what you want to hear. So many times she told me she was going to get clean. She convinced me every one of those times. I guess I just wanted to believe it, you know. There was a child involved.”
I nod as I think about that. “How did you two meet? You guys don’t seem…” I let my words fall off and Jaxon laughs.
“Don’t know how to say, I’m from the wrong side of the tracks, delicately?”
I crinkle my nose, and hope I hadn’t hurt his feelings. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be. I was, and I hung out at a bar. It’s now called Jericho’s after my buddy bought it. It’s not in a great neighborhood. Jericho and I go way back. He’s a good guy. Married to a great girl. You’d like her. I should introduce you guys,” he says like it’s an afterthought, but I can’t imagine why he would do that. We’re not in a real relationship here.
I nod, and he continues. “Anyway, one night this beautiful blonde walks in with two of her girlfriends.” He rolls one shoulder. “
It was easy to tell they were rich college girls, and we knew what they wanted.”
“What?”
“Bored little rich girls looking for a hit, and a quick fuck with a bad boy.” I cringe. “Sorry, I don’t mean to be crude, but that’s the best way to explain it.”
“So you gave her what she wanted?”
“By the time I met her, I was getting my shit together. I’d finished community college, thanks to Jericho’s help, and had just become a licensed mechanic. But yeah, basically I gave her what she wanted.”
“And you fell in love.”
He shakes his head and blows out a breath. “Did we ever.” I go quiet, wait for him to continue. He finally breaks the silence and says, “I set up shop here, and she was still living at home and going to school. We spent all our spare time together, but her parents hated me. Sometimes I wonder if Sarah made her choices just to piss them off.” He scrubs his chin. “But the drugs, she was getting in deeper, and she started failing classes. She eventually quit and moved in with me. I tried to help her and we went to addiction counseling together.”
“I know a lot about addiction. My dad was a mean alcoholic.”
His arms tighten around me. “I’m sorry.”
“Thanks. Go on,” I say, not wanting to talk about me.
“When she got pregnant, she got clean. Everything was perfect and we were so happy. God, we were happy, Rach. Even her parents had softened to me. Life was perfect.”
“And then…”
“And then Cassie was born, and I don’t know if it was post-partum, but she started sneaking around, doing drugs behind my back when I was working.” He swallows, hard. “Jesus fuck, Rach. She was doing drugs while she was taking care of our daughter. I couldn’t have that.” He tugs on his hair. “I just couldn’t. We started to fight, and things just escalated from there. None of this was good for Cassie. I grew up in volatile homes and I swore I’d do better for my child.”
I brush my hand through his hair and press my lips to his forehead. He holds me tighter, and no matter how many times we’ve been naked together, he’s been inside me, I’ve never felt closer to him. I hug him and his heart pounds against my chest.
“One night while we were sleeping, she left. I found out later she left with her dealer. Her parents don’t know the extent of her drug use, they just think I drove her away.”
“I bet on some level they know better. It’s just hard for them to admit their daughter might be responsible for everything that’s happened. I’m sure it’s hard for them to think Sarah walked out on her small child.”
“You’re probably right.”
“Parents always side with their child,” I say, thinking about my grandmother. “What will you do if she comes back?”
He goes quiet, too quiet, and looks down at my lap. “I guess it’s going to depend on what kind of state she’s in.” His head lifts, a sadness in his eyes. “Rach?”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t really talk about this.”
“I know.” Clearly, she gutted him, broke this amazing man’s life into pieces that he’s not yet been able to put back together. If she comes back, will it right his life again? Where does that leave me?
Oh, God, Rachel, you can’t let yourself fall for this man…this family. They’re not yours.
12
Jaxon
I zip up my leather jacket as I walk the few blocks to Pizza Villa. Rach isn’t expecting me, but I can’t wait one more second to see her. After our steaks, she packed a bag for my place for the night and headed to work. Then again, she probably didn’t need a bag. More and more of her laundry was landing in my basket, and it’s weird how much I like that.
A car passes slowly, and once it rounds the corner I go still to search the shadows. A strange sensation that someone is watching me, has the hairs on my nape rising. What the fuck? When my search comes up empty, I shake my head. Jesus, maybe I’ve been hanging around Rachel too much. She’s always watching her back and checking the streets.
I brush it off, tug open the door to the pizza joint, and the scent of pepperoni hits me, but it’s not pizza I’m hungry for. I’m not sure why I can’t get enough of the girl next door—my daughter’s babysitter—and her car is basically done, minus the alignment. I could have that finished in a heartbeat for her, but I’ve been putting it off.
There are two frat guys at the counter, and Rachel is serving them. They’re loud and obnoxious and have obviously been drinking. I stand there for a moment, and admire the way she handles them. They pay and step back. Her eyes lift to serve me and the smile that crosses her face just about fucks me over.
I’m crazy about her.
“Hey,” she says. “What are you doing here?” She laughs and adds, “What a stupid question. What can I get for you?”
I need a quick second to pull myself together after that epiphany. “How about your number?” I tease.
She angles her head, and gives me a coy look. “Why should I do that?” she asks, playing along.
“So I can call you?”
“What would you want to call me for?”
“To make plans?”
“What kind of plans.”
I lean across the counter, and whisper, “To get you in my bed.”
Heat moves into her cheeks and she does a quick check over her shoulder to make sure no one heard me. “I get off in ten minutes,” she says, sounding far more breathless.
“You’ll get off when I get you into my bed,” I say with a grin.
She blows her hair from her face. “Ohmigod, Jaxon, you’re going to get me fired.”
“I wanted to talk to you about that anyway,” I say without thinking it through.
What the hell are you doing, dude.
“Yeah?”
I step back. “Finish up. I’ll wait here for you.”
“You want me to make a pie for us?”
“No, we’re going out,” I say, an instant decision. She’d been busy studying and working and taking care of us all week. She needs a break.
Her eyes widen, but she pulls herself together when a co-worker comes from the back to take over the cash. She disappears out back, and I grab a table, my thoughts a million miles an hour. Fuck. I like her, too much, and by rights I should just finish her car and end it. I have a shit-ton going on in my life, Sarah might be coming home, and Rach could up and run at a moment’s notice, or at least decide we weren’t enough for her.
Wait, what exactly do you want from her?
The counter lifting pulls my thoughts, and Rach, still dressed in her work clothes, meets me at the table. I just sit there for a moment, take in her beauty and her eyes grow big again.
“What? Do I have sauce on my face?”
“No, you just look beautiful.”
She rolls her eyes at me. “Let’s go.”
I stand, capture her hand, and we step outside. This time we both do a quick check of the streets. Yeah, it must just be her paranoia rubbing off. “So about this job. You get harassed by assholes like those frat boys a lot?”
“Every night.”
“I’ve been thinking. You’ve been doing such a good job around the house, and helping with Cassie, that I’d like to hire you.” She gives me a strange look and I hurry on with, “I was going to hire someone. I just never found the time and I’m careful who I bring in to my house.”
“I can understand that.”
“I’ll continue to look, but in the meantime, we’d love it if you stayed on.”
She puckers her lips in thought. “How long are you thinking?”
I give a casual shrug. “Maybe until your finish classes in April. Then you’ll have time to help me find a replacement, someone good enough.”
She jerks her thumb over her shoulder as we walk. “I was planning to quit this job by then anyway.”
“So that’s a yes?”
“I…”
“The pay and hours will be better.”
“No late-night sh
ifts?”
“Your nights are yours to do with as you please.”
She grins up at me. “That sounds…interesting.”
“Oh they will be.”
She hugs herself when the wind picks up and I throw my arm around her and drag her close. We hurry home, and she takes a quick shower and changes into her jeans and a sweater.
“Where are we going?” she asks.
“To Jericho’s. Grab a bite and a drink, shoot some pool.”
“Didn’t you say that was on the wrong side of town?”
“You’re with me, Rach. I told you, I’d never let anything happen to you.”
I pull her close, and drops a soft kiss onto her mouth.
“Let’s go.”
I grab her coat, help her into it, and we head out into the night. She relaxes into the seat, and I smile. I like seeing her like this.
“It’s nice to get out,” she says on a soft sigh.
“Do you like to play pool?”
“I can’t say as I ever played.”
“What? Are you serious?” I ask.
“I guess my youth wasn’t as misguided as yours.”
I wink at her. “We’ll have to see about fixing that.”
A chuckle rumbles in her throat. “Great, first you’re a distraction, now you’re going to corrupt me.”
“I believe I already have corrupted you,” I say and slide a hand across the seat. I give her thigh a squeeze, and catch her mischievous look in the dashboard lights. What the hell is going on inside that brain of hers? I’m not sure, but when I get her home to my empty house, I plan to strip her bare and find out. I drive for another fifteen minutes, then pull into a dark parking lot.
“Stay put,” I say, and climbs from the car. I catch her glancing into the dark night. Yeah, it’s not the kind of neighborhood she usually hangs out in, but she has nothing to worry about when she’s with me. I open her door, and hold my hand out to her. She takes it and smiles up at me.
“Wow, such a gentleman.”
“I’ve been called a lot of things, babe, but that was never one of them.”
