Team Niklas (The Saints Team #3)

by Ally Adams

  “Uh oh,” he said, and looked a bit apprehensive.

  “Trust me?” I said, flexing one at him. This was not just an exercise in fun sex, he had to trust me to see his scars without being self-conscious or trying to reach for his t-shirt.

  He hesitated. “Okay,” he nodded, “I guess I knew you were never going to be conventional.”

  I grinned at that and taking one wrist I tied it to the bed head. I moved to the other side to do the same. His arms were now spread-eagled on the bed and he watched me with desire and caution. I climbed back onto him.

  “This is good,” I said, rocking as I sat on his erection which was still in his briefs. I pulled his nipples and leaned down to give him a very long, wet kiss. His erection thumped beneath me and he bucked, trying to get my attention down below. I stopped kissing him and pulled away, studying his lovely glazed expression. I ran my nails over his chest and sidled down his legs as I ran my fingers over his boxers.

  “I hate not being able to touch you, Sah-sha,” he said, with a low growl.

  “And I love being able to completely touch you.” I bit my lip and gave him a teasing look. He smiled and shook his head.

  I returned to kissing him, long, wet, seductive kissing as I writhed on his erection, not releasing him yet from his boxers. He groaned and strained against his bonds. I swallowed his pleas and eventually pulled away from his lips, a little dizzy myself.

  “Holy fuck, Sah-sha, I almost came,” he said.

  I wanted him as badly as he wanted me; I just loved seeing and touching every inch of him. I moved to his boxer-briefs and released just the top of his erection. It had been straining to get out for ages. I ran a tongue around the dark red head and he swore and strained again. All his muscles were taut—fucking amazing. I pulled his boxers completely off and climbed back on him to lick him. I licked his balls, working my way up the length of him, teasing him, spreading the bead of pre-cum around the head of his penis, making him strain even more.

  I took just the head of his penis in my mouth, and moved it in and out of my lips. Then I slid his whole penis as far as I could into my mouth, flicking my tongue, sucking and releasing and listening to him swear and feeling him buck. I loved giving. When it was wet all over and Nik was threatening to come, I pulled away.

  “Let me touch you,” he begged, trying to free his hands.

  “No Nik, I’m going to ride you and you won’t have any say when you come, so relax.” I threw the word back at him that he often said to me. I reached for the condom he had on the bedside table and slipped it on. He groaned as if I was punishing him and then I lowered myself onto his erection. I began to ride up and down the length of his penis, my hands on his broad shoulders, while I controlled the speed. I kissed him, I rubbed my breasts against his chest and then I sped up.

  He came with a loud roar, his whole body strained and as he came, I used one hand to release him from his ties. He bolted upright, pulling me tight against him as he continued to power inside me. His face was buried in my neck and his grip on me was so tight that I swear he was never going to let me go.

  Eventually, his body relaxed into mine and he stroked my hair. We fell back onto the pillows.

  “You’re very bad, Sah-sha,” he said, with a smile, “I may have to punish you for that.”

  I laughed. “Yes please.”

  He rose, dealt with the condom... while I watched him come and go... marvelous, then he came back and pulled me into his arms. I was in heaven.

  *****

  In the early hours of the morning, my hand reached out for him—Nik was moaning, talking and groaning in his sleep. I looked to the clock, five a.m., and still so dark outside. He tossed suddenly and said something in German. He called out again and his body began to shudder. He repeated a few words in German.

  “Nik,” I said, trying to stir him without completely waking him. I placed my hand on his chest and his eyes shot open, his chest rattled with a large gasp of air and he reeled back from me, staring as though he didn’t know me. He glanced around trying to get his bearings. He was shaking and then his eyes focused on me.

  “Sah-sha,” he panted, and sat up.

  “It’s okay, you’re safe,” I said, using Anton’s words from earlier.

  He balanced his elbows on his knees, the sheet pooling around him, and rocked slightly. “Fuck,” he muttered again, his fingers massaging his temples.

  I sat up next to him, placing my hand on his back and he flinched with my touch. He was still breathing way too fast.

  “I’m sorry I woke you,” he panted. He ran his tongue over his lower lip and then ran his hands over his face.

  “What were you seeing?” I asked, and he shook his head.

  I stroked his back for a few more minutes and then I lay back down and, grabbing his arm, I pulled him towards me. I directed his head to my chest and he allowed me to hold him. I stroked him, his hair and back, until his breathing returned to normal and his body stilled and that’s how we stayed. I wondered if tying him up had contributed to his flashback or nightmare; I hoped not.

  I think my Nik, my strong man, needed help for some of those skeletons in his closet. An hour later, he rose and whispered he was going for a run. I imagined him running around Central Park in the pre-dawn light getting the demons out of his head, as I lay alone in bed missing him.

  Chapter 21

  I heard Nik return from his run and hit the shower. Ten minutes later he crawled back into bed beside me, naked and smelling fresh. He spooned me, wrapped his arms around me and inhaled.

  “Mm, you smell delicious and warm,” he said, snuggling up to me.

  I gripped his strong arms, loving the feel of him against me.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  “I am,” he said, and said no more.

  “Does running help?” I asked, pushing him a little to open up.

  I felt him hesitate before answering. “It expels a lot of stress...”

  “You could talk to me, I won’t be horrified, you won’t put me off you,” I told him. Again he said nothing. I continued: “It might help... you know, sharing and trusting me.”

  “I trust you Sarsh, I just... I know how to deal with it myself. It’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” he said, and shut me down.

  I felt kind of pissed off, like I had been dismissed. I got that he didn’t want to talk about it, but he was happy to ask me a hundred questions about my family, my divorce and to let me be open and trust him.

  He started to move, to touch me and the feel of his hands teasingly rising under my tank sent tingles all over me. I pushed his hand away.

  “I’ve already come. I know how to deal with it when I need it, don’t worry about it,” I said, quoting his words back at him. Was that childish? Give a fuck, this works both ways.

  He pulled away and pulled me over on my back to look at him. I couldn’t work out from his expression if he was angry, bewildered or both.

  He ran his gaze over my face, breathed out a deep sigh and then his jaw locked. I returned the favor, holding his gaze, giving him a pouty, locked jaw look too. Mine was better than his I think. Eventually he spoke.

  “Sarsh, I don’t know what to tell you... there’s some things I want to keep from you but that doesn’t mean I don’t trust you,” he said.

  “There’s things I want to keep from you too, Nik,” I said. He looked a little surprised. Using one of my brother’s counseling expressions, I threw it at Nik. “How does that make you feel?”

  He frowned. “I guess a bit suspicious, a bit worried that you feel you can’t share stuff with me.”

  “But you might not like me if you know everything,” I said, continuing to use his logic.

  He made a scoffing sound. “Nothing you could tell me would make that happen.” He lay down closer to me. “I know what you’re doing Sah-sha. If you think I don’t trust you, then you are wrong.” He ran his fingers through my hair as he stared into my eyes. “If you think I don’t want you to
know me, that’s not true either. I just... I just don’t want you to see me that way.”

  “What? Brave, a survivor, a fighter, tender, sensitive, sharing?” I asked.

  He shrugged.

  “Tell me about your childhood Nik,” I said. I lay side-on, resting on my arm and he turned onto his back and exhaled. Clearly he didn’t want to, and I waited, watching him. I could almost hear his thoughts ticking over so I started him.

  “Did your parents die?” I asked.

  He gave a small, shake of the head. I didn’t push that angle.

  “But you were in the foster care system or was it an orphanage?”

  “Foster care. A lot of foster care.”

  “Why?”

  He shrugged. “Sometimes people can take a few kids, sometimes things change and they have to give them back. Other times it was only ever meant to be temporary but if you’re lucky, you get a good foster family and can stay with them for a long time.”

  He wasn’t making eye contact with me, just staring at the ceiling. I placed my hand on his chest and stroked him.

  “Did you have a good family?” I continued to lead him.

  “Not until my coach took me in. I was a bit rebellious for a while, so I got ditched a lot. Then I learned to keep a low profile and stayed in the same place for a few years. Then another kid and I scored a couple who started out okay but it turned out bad,” he said.

  “Is that where you got the scars?” I said, running a finger over some of them. Nik flinched as I touched a few.

  “I think they were happy when they took us in, but she had an affair. You don’t understand that as a kid, but when I think back now on their fights, I think that’s what it was about.” He began to accept my affection and leaned up to put his arm under me, pulling me against his chest. “They started fighting a lot and Joachim—that’s the other kid they fostered—we just tried to stay below the radar. I was twelve then, Jo was about nine.”

  “What happened? Did they stay together?” I asked.

  “No. He started belting her, she started drinking, staying out more, having the affair. He started hitting us as well, and eventually they came to remove us. I don’t know what happened to Joachim, never saw him again. But that’s when my first coach and his wife took me in—Sebastian and Britta. They were in their thirties and had no kids, I don’t know why, I didn’t ask. But that was the best thing to ever happen to me... I stayed with them from thirteen until I was twenty.”

  I smiled, seeing him smile. “Do you stay in touch with them?”

  “Sure. My room is still there. Anytime I’m home, Britta insists I stay there and Seb calls me the day after every match to analyze the game. He’s a very good coach and mentor. I got lucky.”

  “So how did these happen?” I asked, touching his scars again. “Did your foster father do more than just hit you?”

  Nik signed; he seemed to be resigned to telling me now. “Some nights he needed somewhere to put his cigarette out,” Nik said, and I gasped. “See, this is why I don’t want to tell you these things, you’ll get upset.”

  “I am upset, but I’d be more upset not knowing you. And these?” I asked, looking at a series of small scars.

  “Just from stitches,” he said.

  “From stitches!”

  “A few cuts and hits, that’s all.” He stopped.

  “Didn’t you tell someone? Didn’t Anton notice, or your teachers?” I asked, raising my chin from his chest to question him.

  “I made Anton promise not to tell,” he said.

  “Why?”

  Nik shrugged. “I didn’t want anyone to know.”

  “It wasn’t your fault,” I said.

  “Süsse, when you’re a kid in foster care, everything is your fault. Adults aren’t wrong.”

  I drew a deep breath, taking in all the awful images I had of a young, blond boy being mistreated and in pain, and alone. “How did they find out or did they separate first and then you were removed?” I asked.

  “They took Jo and me away after I was hospitalized.”

  I gasped again.

  “He went a bit too far with his fists and broke a rib or two and knocked me unconscious. Then they took us both out of that house.”

  I couldn’t believe the words that were coming from his mouth.

  “Nik, it’s so awful. How can any adult do that?” I said. “It’s a weird world—here you have my parents who undertook a dozen IVF cycles to have us and yet there are people who can just push kids out of the womb and they’re not fit to be parents. I wish my family could have rescued you and adopted you.”

  He grinned. “I’m glad they didn’t. We would have been like stepbrother and stepsister which would make this very awkward.”

  “True,” I said, thinking about that technicality. “So, do you have any happy childhood memories?”

  “Of course,” he said, a little defensively.

  “Tell me one to cheer me up,” I said.

  “You tell me one first,” he said, deflecting again.

  “Okay,” I thought. “Our house was always a bit crazy, not always in a good way. Mum and Dad both worked, there were five kids and we weren’t that close as kids, not like we are now. Saffy and I were close of course but having three older brothers meant you had to compete for everything. They destroyed everything we owned and teased us a lot too.”

  “Is that why you like living alone?” Nik asked.

  I looked up at him. “I don’t know, I hadn’t thought of it in that context before, but maybe. I think my happiest memories were the holidays. We were always camping or caravanning, fishing, swimming, learning to surf or paddle. We spent most of our holidays busy and outdoors and Mum and Dad took time off work and spent it with us. Those were the best times.”

  Nik nodded and looked at the ceiling as he thought.

  “I think the best time for me ever was when I was thirteen and I went to live with Seb and Britta. I’ll never forget when they showed me through to the room that would be mine,” he grinned and looked at me. “It was the first time I ever had something that was mine—my own room, my own bed, a desk, a chair, a cupboard and some clothes in it. I kept waiting for it to disappear.”

  I ran my hand gently over his chest as he spoke. I couldn’t imagine it. I always shared a room with Saffy, but that was different. I still had plenty, I was given so much and here was Nik waiting for it all to vanish.

  He took a deep breath and continued. “For the first few months, I would wake at night and get up. I’d touch the desk and chair, check in the wardrobe and if everything as still there, I’d go back to bed. It’s a bit embarrassing now, but one time Britta removed some of my things to wash them and she found me crying in the corner of the room. I thought she was packing my things for me to go.”

  Tears welled in my eyes as he told me the story. Such a different world from everything I had ever known.

  “After that, she would always tell me it was washing day… for years after.”

  We sat in silence for a while until he rolled off his back, pushed me on mine and edged up my top.

  “Did you really do it without me?” he asked.

  “Are you kidding? Of course not. Why would I use the hand when I have the master?” I teased him.

  Nik smiled and nudged my top up all the way. His tongue found my nipple and we became just a little closer from shared relations on several levels.

  Chapter 22

  It was his own fault, all his own doing—any man who takes a woman shopping is asking for trouble and I worked him. Not once did he complain but I don’t think he’ll shop again for some time, maybe a year, maybe more. We got Nik new jeans, dress pants, shirts, pullovers, t-shirts, socks, jocks... yeah, I was a big help there, and even shoes. I got him a couple more hats too because he had a good head for them. His credit card got a workout. Then, true to form, he took me shopping starting with a trip to Victoria’s Secrets.

  I laughed when he asked: “can we buy those white angel wing
s there?”

  I gave him a strange look.

  “You know,” he insisted, “like they wear in the fashion parade. I want to sit in a chair at the end of your catwalk and watch you walk towards me in lingerie with angel wings.” He took a deep breath.

  I moved in front of him just accidentally brushing against his jeans where he was sporting a sizeable bulge as he imagined the catwalk scene. It was an accident, honest. Nik groaned and pulled me closer.

  “You better stay there for a few minutes,” he suggested.

  Seriously, hopeless! “We don’t have time to wait and hide your erections all day,” I whispered in his ear and brushed against him again with a smile.

  “You’re not helping the situation, Sah-sha,” he said, and narrowed his eyes at me suspiciously. I gave him my best innocent look again.

  Eventually we were able to leave with three new lingerie purchases; it would have been more but I restricted Nik and his super quick credit card reflexes to just the three. He was way too keen to spend money on me, awful that.

  We stopped for lunch and several rounds of coffee during the day and got back to the hotel in plenty of time for another stroll around Central Park before dusk and another long soak in the tub—we needed it after the day’s shopping. I also had a new dress for tonight for dinner with Anton and his girlfriend.

  *****

  When we arrived at the restaurant called Terraces of Manhattan—Anton’s choice—he was there already with his girlfriend, who took me by surprise and delight. She was dressed in a very risqué fashion even by my standards. I was in my new dress that Nik had brought me—a stylish wrap-around with very high heels to accompany it. I hadn’t got a matching hat yet, but I would. Nik wore one of his new button-down shirts with dress pants and looked good enough to be on the menu. Anton was conservatively dressed but his girlfriend was in a bright red dress and just in it!

  “Nik, Sasha, this is Amanda,” he introduced her, after shaking Nik’s hand and kissing me on the cheek.