by Bella Forro
And I tried to ignore the buzzing of my phone as it started to vibrate.
Chapter 20
Mark
I stepped out of the shower into an eerily quiet room.
I thought Victoria would still be sitting on my bed, but she wasn’t.
I tugged on some clothes and went to find her, thinking maybe she’d flipped on the television in the living room or poured herself a drink.
But the condo was only so big, and a few minutes of searching later, it was quite clear she wasn’t anywhere in the condo.
I was there alone, which didn’t make a lot of sense.
I called down to James, the man who worked the evening shift at the front desk, just to ask if he had seen her head out.
He said she had, and she’d left a message for me I could come down and pick up at my leisure.
I was in the lobby just minutes later, delayed only by how long it took me to put on my shoes.
I didn’t really know what to expect from the note. Everything about it seemed strange. Why would she leave a note instead of sending me a text message? Or even sending me an email if a text wasn’t going to cut it.
I didn’t want to address that sinking feeling of dread creeping up on me.
And when I got the note, it only intensified.
There was no explanation, just the declaration that she couldn’t do it.
Couldn’t do what? I was assuming I was the thing she couldn’t do.
I called her twice with no answer.
Then I sent her a text message.
And still no answer.
For a minute I thought I might give her a little bit more time. Maybe she was indisposed and couldn’t get to the phone?
But almost in the same instant, I’d had that thought; I was telling James to have my Audi pulled around.
Whatever had happened, I certainly wasn’t going to be sitting around waiting for some acknowledgment or explanation from Victoria.
I was going to go after her and get what I needed to know.
The valet had my car out front almost immediately, and I was sliding into the driver’s seat of the little two-seater.
I didn’t drive myself often. I found it was so much easier to accomplish things on my to-do list if I could work in the car instead of driving, but when I did drive, I wanted to feel the thrill that came along with driving something speedy, responsive, flashy. Something that added a little bit of excitement to my otherwise relatively dull and monotonous life.
The sedan and the SUV were great for what they were, but neither of them was close to the Audi, with its shiny, cherry red body and glitzy rims.
I zipped in and out of traffic, unconcerned with the speed limit, focused only on not causing an accident and arriving at Victoria’s as quickly as possible.
I parked in front of a hydrant, because that was what was open, and flipped on my hazards.
I stood on the stoop and pressed the button embossed with Watts/Morris and waited.
And waited.
And pressed it again.
I looked up into the camera I knew was there.
In an act of desperation, I started pressing random intercoms to no avail. People weren’t in, or they weren’t responding to the man on the stoop pushing each and every apartment call button.
Then I was on the phone again, pacing in front of the door, looking up at the front of the building, wishing I’d been inside and knew exactly which window belonged to Victoria.
I wasn’t willing to walk away from this, though. If no one was home and no one was going to let me in, it was only going to be a matter of time before someone came back home.
I climbed back into my car and found a parking garage around the corner before finding an inconspicuous space to linger while I waited for someone to show up to the apartment.
I kept checking my phone hoping that maybe she would suddenly be returning my calls or sending me a message.
But there was still nothing.
A woman with an elaborate head wrap and a bag full of groceries was turning down the street, and I knew instantly she was going to be making her way into the building.
I took a step forward, realizing belatedly that it put me under the full light of the street lamp, and her eyes came to mine immediately, wide and wary.
I saw her adjust the grocery bag discreetly as I took another step toward her, figuring I’d already blown my cover and the only choice I had now was to be direct and explain my case the best I could.
“Excuse me, ma’am,” I began as politely and nonthreateningly as I possibly could.
In a sudden whirl she was brandishing a small can of mace in my direction, her eyes narrowed and shrewd. “Now, don’t be coming any closer, here. I’m going to let myself into my building, and you are not going to take one more step closer to me. And if you don’t get out of here really quick, I’m going to be calling the police and reporting to them that you’re out here, lurking and threatening.”
Her voice was calm and even, and I had no doubt she meant every word. I raised my hands and backed away from her. “Sorry, ma’am, I didn’t mean to frighten you. I’ve just forgotten my key pass and —”
Her eyes grew even colder. “Now listen here, young man. I know every single body who lives in this building and not one of them is you. So, I need you to go ahead and get on out of here. And don’t be back. Don’t even think about coming back. If you were welcome in there, you would be in there already. I been here twenty-five years and I’ve seen all kinds come and go from here. You’re not the first, and you won’t be the last, and you are just as unwelcome here as all the others.”
She was stepping into the building and pulling the door closed behind her, giving it an extra violent shake to make sure the door was latched.
And I had no choice but to pretend to walk away.
I was going to have to be scarce, at least for a little while. It didn’t take much to see she was a woman of her word, and if she got upstairs and saw me still standing out front, she was going to call the police and have them on me in a matter of minutes.
Not that I thought I would have a huge problem explaining myself to them, but I was pretty sure that was going to impede how quickly I would be able to get to Victoria, and right then that was the one goal that meant more than any other I had.
I took two trips around the block, studying the building from every angle. Windows were open, and the fire escape system was elaborate, but there was no way for me to reach that first balcony without someone dropping the ladder.
I was ashamed I was even considering slipping up someone’s fire escape and into the building where my girlfriend lived like any other common criminal, but I was running out of options.
Embarrassing didn’t begin to cover it.
I was reaching for my phone again when I rounded the corner and saw a man heading up the stairs.
I moved into a jog, desperate. If someone was going to call the police, they might as well go ahead and do it, already.
I wasn’t leaving until I saw Victoria. Or until I was pulled away in handcuffs, I supposed.
“Hey,” I called, trying to get his attention. “Do you mind holding the door?”
He actually did, which I had been beginning to think would never happen.
“Thank you, so much. You don’t know how much I appreciate this.” I knew I was on the verge of blubbering, but I was so grateful to be over this hurdle I couldn’t contain myself. “I don’t suppose you would know which floor Victoria Watts lives on?”
The man was nodding like he knew exactly where I was coming from. “Girl trouble, huh? I’m not sure about Victoria Watts, but she definitely isn’t on the first or second floor.” He gave a little shrug. “That’s all I can tell you. Most of the apartments are labeled, though, so you shouldn’t have too much trouble finding her. Best of luck, man.”
He clapped me on the shoulder and disappeared up the stairs — I was willing to bet he was off to the second floor, where his expertise
on residents seemed concentrated.
I didn’t linger in the lobby long, and I was right behind him, bypassing the second floor and heading straight to the third. If I was lucky, I would find her there. If I wasn’t, I was going to keep on moving up until I did. God help me, I was willing to knock on every door in the damn building if I had to.
Fortunately, it didn’t come to that. Like the man had said, most of the apartments were labeled, and I found Victoria’s tucked in a corner, marked unobtrusively with Watts/Morris, just like the call button had been.
I didn’t hesitate to ring the doorbell. And I barely let the sound fade before I was considering pushing it again.
I was still contemplating it when the door swung open, and a girl Victoria’s age with dark hair and heavy-framed glasses answered.
“I’m looking for Victoria,” I said abruptly, apparently forgetting any form of charm or manners I could have used instead.
She glowered in my direction. Cassie, I was willing to bet.
“She’s not here. And I don’t think she’s interested in talking with you. Ever. You should probably just go.”
She was pushing the door closed, ready to take away that one last hope I had been clinging to.
“No, please,” I said, putting my hand out and pressing it against the door, hoping to stop the door as it inched closer to closed. “I can see her bag,” it was right inside the door, and I’d noticed it the minute the door had opened. “I know she’s here, and I just need to talk to her.” I hesitated, unsure exactly of what to say, not even sure of exactly what had happened to cause Victoria to leave; but knowing that my best, and maybe my only chance of getting to see Victoria and finding out relied on having Cassie on my side.
There was barely a sliver of space left, and I could only see Cassie’s eye through it. “I just don’t understand what happened. Everything was fine. And then she was gone. And she left this note. Please — I need to see her.” I thought maybe that plea was going to be the one that would get me into the apartment, but then she shook her head as though she was clearing her thoughts.
“She doesn’t want to see you,” she said with finality, pushing the door that last little bit of the way closed until it latched and I was alone in the hallway. I heard the deadbolt sliding into place on the other side of the door.
I was knocking before she stepped away from the door, uncaring of the neighbors, calling Victoria’s name over and over again, knowing I was the epitome of desperate and unable to stop myself.
This time, when the door was yanked open, it was Victoria on the other side.
“For crying out loud,” she hissed. “What is your problem? Would you like it if I came to your house and did this to you?”
I certainly wouldn’t, though I was certain I would never have put her in this position in the first place.
“Just let me in, Victoria, and we can have a civil conversation.”
“Fine,” she snapped, and she pushed the door wide, letting me step into her apartment.
I didn’t wait for the invitation to be rescinded.
The three of us were standing awkwardly inside the apartment’s entrance, and it was impossible not to notice how red-rimmed and raw Victoria’s eyes were.
“Victoria, maybe you and I could have a word in private?” I asked as nicely as possible, very aware of the way Cassie was glaring at me.
Cassie was opening her mouth to speak, and I knew she wasn’t going to agree without an argument. I was going to have to applaud Victoria on her choice of friends later.
After I had managed to smooth out whatever had gone disastrously wrong.
“It’s alright, Cass,” Victoria was saying, waving Cassie away. “I’ve got this. Give us just a few minutes and I’ll send Mark on his way.”
It was obvious she didn’t want to, but Victoria’s words sent Cassie heading out of the living space and toward a door I could only assume led to her bedroom.
When we were finally alone, we stood facing one another, neither one of us talking.
“So what was it you wanted to say to me?” she finally asked.
I ran a hand through my hair. “God, Victoria, I just don’t understand what happened. I left the room to take a damn shower, and when I come out you’re not there, and when I call the doorman, he says you left a note with him, and it doesn’t explain anything. I mean, what did you think I would do?”
“Honestly?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest. “I thought you would have come out from your shower and have amazing makeup sex with Amy.”
I stared at her, and I was sure my mouth was open, shocked into total silence.
When I did start to speak, I was nearly sputtering. “I don’t have the slightest idea why you would even think that, Victoria.”
“Because, she walked into your condo like she still owned it, sauntered into your bedroom and told me I should take a hike; that the two of you had never actually broken up, and I was just another one of your indiscretions. Apparently, that’s something you do. Collect women to sleep with when you and Amy are on the outs. Add that to the fact that your family doesn’t like me; your friends don’t like me, and you and I are totally ill-suited to one another, and leaving seemed to be the most logical thing I’ve done in weeks. So if you don’t have anything to add to the conversation, then I suggest you go ahead and leave now. Get back to Amy before your side of the bed gets cold.”
“Look, Victoria,” I said, and I could feel the anger starting to grow inside of me. Anger at Victoria, at my father — at everyone and everything that had helped get me to this point. “When I got out of the shower you were gone. No one else was there. Certainly not Amy.”
“Well,” she snapped, “she was there when I left, telling me that you two were just as on as you have ever been, and I think it’s pretty telling, when an ex can just walk right into your house that you don’t want her as gone as you claim you do.”
Even from where I stood, I could see she had started to tremble. I took a step closer to her, reached out for her, my hands on her arms. “I may have many flaws, Victoria. I’m sure you can list them. I’m sure the longer you know me, the more I’ll have, but there’s one thing I am not, and that is a liar. Believe me when I say Amy and I are through. Believe me when I say that. If it makes you feel better, I will have a locksmith come out tomorrow and replace every damn lock in the place and leave you with the only key. I’ll have Amy banned from the premises. To be frank, I will do whatever it takes to help you be comfortable and to help you understand that I am entirely invested in you. In us.” I gave her arms a little squeeze. “Please, Victoria. Let’s not give up on this because some of the people I know are assholes. I think we deserve a better shot than that.”
I was hoping my speech might give me the response I wanted, but I got nothing in return. “It just didn’t occur to me to change the locks after Amy left. I meant it when I said we were through, and I thought she would see that this time was different. I know she might have said it was like every other minor scuffle we’ve had, but it wasn’t. The wedding was off; she had moved out. I just want to forget about all the time and energy I wasted on her. I want to focus on what you and I could have instead.” I continued.
“I know it’s hard with my father in favor of Amy, but you should know that’s not a reflection on you — he just wants me to be with Amy because he knows he can easily control her. He considers her one more pawn in his game.”
I was worried that if I stopped talking, I wouldn’t have the chance to start again, that she would shut me down so fast, I’d be out the door and back where I started before I even realized it was happening.
“Look around you, Mark,” she said, slipping out from beneath my hands and gesturing at her apartment. “This is who I am. I’m that girl, with IKEA furniture and craigslist finds. Living here like this takes a lot of energy, a lot of time, a lot of funds. I’m not like you or your friends. I don’t have a fancy business degree and an Ivy league background. It’s j
ust this.”
She dropped her hands down to her sides, looking defeated.
“Stop,” I said, moving back toward her, wrapping my arms around her, finding comfort in the fact that she let me do it. “None of those things matter. I like you despite how you live. I like you because you are you. And I wish you could see that. I wish you could understand that. It’s just you.”
She wasn’t pulling away from me, and up close; I could see something new move in her expression. Relief. Disbelief. Desire. All of it.
I pressed a kiss to her cheek, trying to gauge her reaction, but she didn’t pull away. I let my mouth linger there, one hand moving up over her arm to tangle in her hair, the other settling on her hip, pulling her toward me until she was pressed tightly against me, her own hands coming up to rest on my shoulder.
Like this, I was reminded of how intoxicating she was, the gentle scent of her perfume, her soft skin, the whisper of her hair against my cheek.
I wanted all of it. Always. And I was going to do whatever it took to keep her happy and to keep her there with me.
I caught her mouth in a kiss, and in a moment all of her hesitation had fallen away, her body melting into mine.
“So,” I said as we broke the kiss, feeling my heart slam against my chest wall, Victoria breathless against me. “Maybe you should finish giving me the tour of your place. Starting with your bedroom.” I raised my eyebrows and let my eyes trail over her body, already eager to touch every inch of her. “I hear they are great indicators of a person’s personality and priorities.”
She gave me a little grin that seemed to chase away what was left of the sadness lingering around her eyes and tugged me toward her room. “Well, I can think of a priority or two my bedroom might show you,” she murmured as she went. “But,” she said over her shoulder, “You’ll have to be very quiet. Cassie is never going to let this go. I don’t want her to have any extra ammunition.”
“Of course,” I said, eager to agree to anything that was going to get her into bed with me. I was so smitten, so desperate to have her again.
I wondered when the newness was going to wear off. If it even would. I couldn’t be sure.
