by Sydney Logan
“Caleb, you don’t have to—”
“I want to. It’s the least I can do. And then I’ll go to Skye, and I can tell her that everything is settled.”
Juliana nods. “No more secrets. No more lies.”
“And no more wedding.”
“Drink this,” Lynsey says, offering me a glass.
“What is it?”
“Does it matter?”
Nope. I take a sip and pray that whatever’s in the glass relaxes me. Normally, I’m not this big of a drinker. I think I’ve consumed more wine in the past month than I have in my entire life. The man is turning me into a raging alcoholic.
“I can’t believe I let you talk me into putting on that dress. I’m so sleep deprived that I totally forgot Juliana’s height. There’s no way our measurements would’ve been the same. You are pure evil, Lynsey Evans.”
She sighs and sits down next to me on the couch.
“Oh, yes. I’m a terrible, horrible person. You picked out your dream gown, and Caleb saw you wearing it. Your stubborn asses needed a swift kick, and from what you’ve told me, it worked.”
“Nothing’s worked yet.”
“He’ll be here.”
“And even if it does work, I will always be the bitch who made him break his engagement.”
“You didn’t make him do anything, Skye. He made a choice, which is what you’ve wanted all along. Stop trying to make yourself feel guilty. When he shows up tonight—”
“You mean if he shows up.”
“When he shows up tonight. You are such a pessimist.”
I shrug and finish my wine.
“Juliana really is wonderful. You’ll like her, Skye.”
“I don’t dislike her now. And since when are the two of you such good friends? You’ve been plotting against us for weeks. Making me pick out china patterns and wedding favors. I thought you’d turned into a greedy, money-hungry bitch by making us keep this account. But no, you simply wanted to torture me.”
“No, we wanted both of you to accept that you can’t live without each other. And now you have. You’ll thank us when you’re walking down the aisle in that gorgeous dress.”
I snort. “I’m not getting married, Lyns.”
“Why not? You’ve already picked everything out.”
It’s official. She’s insane.
“Thank you for the wine. Go away now.”
“You’re kicking me out?”
“Yes.”
Lynsey sighs dejectedly, but there’s a huge smile on her face as she grabs her bag and walks to the door.
“Fine, but you must call me later. Or, first thing in the morning . . . you know, depending on how things work out tonight.”
“Go away!”
After she finally leaves, I busy myself with ridiculous chores that I typically save for the weekend. I vacuum the living room, scrub my shower, fold a load of laundry, and rearrange my closet, hoping the mindless activities will keep my mind occupied.
They don’t.
Is love supposed to be this hard? I have no idea. My relationship with my ex had been ridiculously easy . . . until it wasn’t. I thought I’d loved him, but now I know better. Leaving him hadn’t left a gaping hole in my chest. Walking away from him hadn’t left me sleepless and heartbroken.
I’m in love with Caleb.
I can admit that now. I don’t know how it happened or when it happened, but I love him. Maybe I always have. And I believe what he says. I think he loves me, too. But I’m also an adult, and I know that sometimes, love’s not the problem. It’s a sobering revelation, when you realize that life really isn’t a fairytale and sometimes love isn’t enough.
Could it be enough for us?
A knock on the door makes me jump, causing me to drop the armful of sweaters I’d just sorted by color.
Clearly, I’m mental.
Kicking the sweaters out of my way, I rush into the living room, stopping at the mirror on the wall to check my reflection. My eyes shine with excitement, something I haven’t seen or felt in weeks.
“It may not even be him,” I whisper.
I slowly walk over the door and peek through the peephole.
It’s him.
With trembling hands, I quickly open the door. Caleb’s head snaps up, his blue eyes blazing. His face morphs into a beautiful, hopeful smile as I step back and wave him inside.
No matter what happens, I’m determined to be strong. I will not shed a tear tonight. I’m going to turn around, square my shoulders, and face the music.
He doesn’t give me the chance.
Caleb pushes me against the door, pressing his body into mine as he gently cups my cheek. His tender touch is such a stark contrast to the wild look in his eyes.
“I’m free,” Caleb says softly. “No more secrets. No more fake engagements. I’m free. And I’m yours. If you want me.”
My entire body trembles with excitement and hope. “Because?”
“Because it wasn’t fair to anyone. But most of all, because I can’t stand to be away from you for one second longer. If I’ve learned anything over the past few weeks, it’s that I’ve been waiting for you my whole life. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, and I refuse to live without you anymore.”
Despite my promise to myself that I wouldn’t cry, tears trickle down my cheeks anyway.
“What about Juliana’s mom?”
“We told her. Jules and I went over to the house, sat down with her dad, and told him the truth. And then the three of us told Luisa. She was so wonderful, Skye. So understanding. She was lucid and smiling and told us she suspected something wasn’t right all along. And then she thanked us. Thanked us for trying to make her happy. And thanked us for telling her the truth.”
I shake my head, trying to make sense of it all.
Caleb’s free. No more fake engagement. No more wedding.
My pulse races as that knowledge settles itself in my heart.
He sighs softly and presses his forehead to mine.
“You are my heart’s only option,” he whispers.
A whimper escapes my throat when his lips find mine. I melt against him, and he lifts me into the air. Wrapping my legs around his waist, I hang on for dear life while he carries me over to the couch. We crash there, all tangled limbs and frantic kisses as I straddle his lap. After weeks of torture, this is bliss, because for the first time, Caleb is mine. He’s truly mine. And I am his.
And I’m topless.
How did that happen?
With a whimpered groan, Caleb buries his face against my neck as I slide my hands beneath his shirt, smiling when his muscles tense beneath my touch. I pull his T-shirt over his head, and we both sigh when we’re finally skin on skin. We kiss until our lips are swollen and our breaths are ragged, and we only stop when oxygen becomes a necessity.
“We have to slow down,” Caleb murmurs against my mouth, but while he says it, he slides my bra strap down my shoulder. He’s just reached around to the hook when we hear a ringtone.
“Is that your phone?” I ask, raking my teeth against his ear.
“Don’t care.”
“Might be important.”
Caleb successfully unhooks my bra and tosses it over the couch.
“Nothing could be more important than this.”
I laugh, but he swallows the sound with another scorching kiss. I’m just reaching for the button of his jeans when I hear my cell vibrate on the table.
We both groan.
“Somebody better be dead,” he grumbles.
Caleb reaches into his pocket and pulls out his cell. I reach for mine on the end table. My heart stops when I see the missed call.
“It’s Juliana,” we say in unison.
“Answer it.”
“No, Skye, it can wait.”
But I’m already out of his lap and searching for our clothes. If Juliana’s calling both of us it has to be important. I find my blouse and toss him his T-shirt.
“Caleb, she’
s your best friend. I don’t expect that to change. I wouldn’t want it to. Something’s wrong. Answer it.”
Our phones suddenly stop ringing, but the silence is quickly followed by the ping of a text message. I button my blouse and sit down on the couch while Caleb reads his text.
“What does it say?”
He swallows hard before showing me the screen.
It’s Mom. Please come to the hospital.
“I really shouldn’t be here,” I repeat for the hundredth time as the elevator takes us to the third floor of the hospital.
“No one’s in the room except Jules and her dad. Besides, Jules insisted I bring you along. It’s fine.”
It doesn’t feel fine. It feels like I’m intruding on a private family moment.
The doors open, and Caleb takes my hand and leads me through the lobby. The smell of disinfectant does nothing to calm my stomach as we search for room 323. We turn a corner and find a weeping Juliana standing just outside her mother’s door.
“Jules?”
She looks up with red-rimmed eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
“Stop it.” Caleb hugs her, and then she smiles sadly at me.
“Hi, Juliana.”
She hugs me. “I’m so glad you’re here, Skye. I hated to interrupt your night, especially after Lynsey and I went to so much trouble to make it happen.”
We laugh lightly and sit down in the nearby chairs. Juliana sits between us, and she holds each of our hands while she tells us about her mother’s fainting spell.
“But she’s okay?” Caleb asks.
Juliana nods. “Her blood pressure dropped and she’s a bit dehydrated. They want to keep her overnight, which of course she’s not happy about.”
We keep talking to her, offering what little comfort we can, when a tall man wearing a charcoal suit steps out into the hall.
Juliana jumps up. “Dad?”
“No, no, everything’s fine. Just checking on you.” Mr. Martinez notices us and smiles. “Caleb, I didn’t know you were here.”
The three of us walk over to Luisa’s door.
“This must be Skye.”
I nod, too afraid of what he must think of me to formulate any kind of decent response.
Mr. Martinez offers me his hand. “Please don’t feel uncomfortable. You’re more than welcome here, Skye.”
“Thank you, Mr. Martinez.”
“Rafe, please.” He then turns to Caleb and Juliana. “She’s asking for you.”
Grateful to have a moment to myself, I turn to sit back down when Juliana takes my hand.
“Come with us.”
“Oh no, I couldn’t—”
“Absolutely,” Rafe says with a warm smile. “She’d love to see you.”
The four of us make our way inside. Two nurses and a doctor surround Luisa’s bed. She looks unbelievably pale, but when she sees us, her face bursts into a beautiful smile.
“There you two are,” she says weakly. “And you brought the wedding planner. What a wonderful surprise. How are you, dear?”
I glance at Caleb.
“I’m . . . fine. Thank you.”
“Oh, good. Keeping these two on track, I hope. After all, we only have a few months left. There’s still so much to do.”
We all glance awkwardly at each other.
“Mom, don’t you remember the conversation we had this afternoon?” Juliana asks.
“What conversation?”
The doctor watches us with interest.
Rafe takes his wife’s hand. “Luisa, what do you remember about today?”
Her forehead creases with confusion. “I remember Joaquin making those little cucumber sandwiches that I love.”
“Anything else?” Juliana asks.
“No . . . should I?”
I close my eyes. This can’t be happening.
Caleb squeezes my hand while Rafe takes the doctor aside.
Luisa smiles at me. “I’m sorry, dear. Your name escapes me.”
I drop Caleb’s hand. Hopefully she didn’t notice.
“I’m Skye.”
“Oh, yes. I’ve been thinking about the bridesmaids’ dresses. I know we chose pastel pink, but now I’m thinking black. Most people associate black with mourning, but I think black can be elegant, don’t you?”
I nod numbly. Caleb tries to take my hand again, but I step away. He can’t touch me. Not here. Not in front of this woman who still believes I’m planning her daughter’s wedding. Not when her voice grows stronger and stronger as she talks about dresses and bouquets. I answer her questions as professionally as I can manage considering my heart is breaking into a million pieces all over again.
With a heavy sigh, Caleb walks toward the window and gazes out into the city while Luisa talks with startling clarity about every single detail of the wedding. I find it fascinating that she can recall the name of the caterer we chose two months ago, and yet, she can’t remember a conversation from this afternoon.
I glance over at Juliana who looks grief-stricken. The expression on her face is undeniable.
We’re right back where we started.
Until this moment, I couldn’t truly understand how Juliana and Caleb could concoct such a lie and have every intention of following through with it, but standing here now, it’s easy to see why. I’m not a doctor, but as Luisa talks about flower girls and ring bearers, it’s obvious that this wedding is the only thing keeping her alive. The only thing that gives her the strength to hold on day after day.
Wouldn’t I do the same thing if it meant I could have my mom with me, just a little while longer?
From across the room, Caleb’s eyes find mine. He must realize I’m at my breaking point, because he tells Luisa we’ll let her rest. We say goodbye, and Juliana and Rafe follow us out into the hall.
“I . . . don’t know what to say,” Rafe whispers. “The doctor thinks the memory loss could be temporary. She’s been through so much today. Perhaps with some rest . . .”
“Maybe she’ll remember,” Juliana says. “And if she doesn’t—”
“Then we’ll tell her again. When she’s a little stronger, we’ll tell her again.” Rafe smiles sadly at me. “It was wonderful to meet you, Skye. I should get back in there.”
“Nice to meet you, too.”
Juliana hugs us and then follows her father back into the hospital room.
The drive home is a quiet one, and when Caleb and I walk back into my apartment, we head straight to the couch. This time, however, there are no frantic kisses or heated whispers. Instead, we snuggle in each other’s arms and try to decide where to go from here.
The answer is obvious.
Luisa’s memory loss may be temporary. It may not. If she wakes up tomorrow and suddenly remembers that her daughter’s wedding was a big fat hoax, then problem solved.
I’m not optimistic. We just don’t have that kind of luck.
Like Rafe said, we can always break the news to her again. But will that be followed by another fainting spell? Another lapse in memory? Do we really want to keep putting her through that? Do we want to put ourselves through it?
If we do, she’ll never smile again like she smiled this afternoon.
How can we deny her that little bit of happiness?
I rest my cheek against Caleb’s chest, letting his sweet scent and warm embrace anchor his heart to mine.
Could this be enough for now?
I could love him, and he could love me.
And someday, we could be together.
So many coulds.
“What are you thinking?” he asks softly.
I take a deep breath and will my voice to remain strong.
“I’m thinking you should marry Juliana.”
“Skye, no. I won’t live without you. I won’t do it.”
“You won’t have to.”
Raising my head, I stare into the deep blue eyes of the man I love so much. “Did you see the look on her face? How happy and energetic she was when she was talking a
bout the wedding?”
“I’ve seen that look many, many times. Why do you think I was so determined to go through with this?”
“I understand now.”
Caleb sighs sadly and shakes his head. “I just don’t get it. She was so alert when we spoke to her. So understanding. So forgiving. And now she doesn’t remember a word of it.”
“We have to accept that she may never remember it.”
“The doctor said maybe . . .”
I lace his fingers with mine. “What if it doesn’t? Can you really look into that woman’s eyes again and tell her you’re not marrying her daughter?”
“Yes. I want to be with you. Period.”
“I’ll wait for you, Caleb.”
His wide eyes search mine, looking for any sign of doubt. He won’t find it. I’ve never been more certain of anything in my entire life.
“You were going to give up everything for me. I should be willing to give a little, too. It’s up to you and Juliana, of course, but I’ll support whatever you decide. And I’ll wait for you.”
“But . . . what if, by some miracle, she recovers? I mean, that would be wonderful, of course—”
“If she recovers then she’ll be strong enough to handle an annulment, right?”
With a heavy sigh, Caleb wraps his arms around me and kisses my temple.
“Do you have any idea how much I love you?”
“I love you, too. I have some conditions, though.”
“Let’s hear them.”
“You have to tell me you love me every single day.”
He chuckles. “Too easy.”
“And we can’t date. Not publicly, anyway. Too risky. It’s going to be takeout and Netflix.”
“I like takeout and Netflix.”
“We can do this. We just have to be creative.”
“I can be very, very creative.”
“And no sex.”
He groans. I’m not happy about it, either.
“I just think we should wait until we can truly be together. Those are my conditions.”
Caleb nuzzles my neck. “I can live with those, but . . .”
“Yes?”
“Can we have sleepovers? Our last one was pretty fantastic.”
With a grin, I take him by the hand and lead him toward my bedroom. “I think we can arrange that. I’d love to wake up with you tomorrow morning.”
