He let go and stepped back until his butt bumped the counter. “Sorry. You startled me.”
Olivia massaged her wrist. “I shouldn’t have snuck up on you.”
“No. You shouldn’t. Don’t do it again.”
She stared at him, her face scrunching up. “I am so fucking sick of that crazy Asian chick with her makeup and her dyed hair. She’s batshit, and they just… just let her into the house with us.”
“It would have been better if they didn’t. I’m sorry she’s upsetting you. I don’t like her, either.” Honestly, he didn’t care one way or the other about Mikiko, but it was the right thing to tell Olivia. The Place Where The Answers Are had nothing to say about her, so it must mean she was unimportant. As far as Olivia went, though—it might be worth keeping up the façade with her for a while. Calm her down. She would probably be expendable at some point, too, but could be useful until then.
“I don’t trust her.” She rubbed the back of her hand across her eyes, and her voice turned harsh. “I hate everyone here. Why did I get left behind with a bunch of weirdos?”
“You don’t choose who you serve with.”
“Serve?” Olivia gave him a tight smile. “Always war with you, isn’t it? Always a battle.”
“It’s how you stay alive.”
“I’m beginning to not care if I stay alive. It would have been better if I’d gone with the rest of them.”
“Unless you suicide, you don’t get to choose how you exit.”
“I know. I can still wish, though.”
“Wishing doesn’t help anything. It doesn’t change anything. It only makes you weak.”
“I thought….” She peered deeply into his eyes and stopped, frowning.
She’d seen him. Not the tough façade that he always wore, but him, the actual Jackson Royce that nobody, not even himself, knew. For the first time, a pang of fear arced through his chest. The fear grew into a wave of panic, and he fought to control it.
Stop it! Stop! Control yourself! She’ll only see you if you let her!
“What did you think?” He kept his voice flat, uninflected.
“I thought—you know, when we made love. You were so passionate. I thought we’d connected. That you cared.”
The wave subsided. He saw the path clear in front of him.
“I do care, Olivia. But I have a responsibility. I have to look after the others, too. I have to keep my own feelings out of it. Enough people have vanished already. Gone without a trace. We can’t afford to do something stupid, or act on our emotions, and let others die unnecessarily.”
Her face relaxed, and she took a deep breath, nodding. “But I need you. I need you more than they do.”
“I understand. But I need your help. You’re my ally. And you can’t help anyone if you’re letting jealousy get in your way.”
She nodded again, and closed her eyes. One hand reached for him, withdrew, then she pressed her palm to his shoulder.
This time, he let her hand stay on his body, didn’t flinch. Let her do this, he thought, and he couldn’t tell if it was his own voice speaking, or the Voice of the one who lived in the Place Where The Answers Are. Let her touch you. And tonight, you may need to make love to her again. Be ready for this.
“I need your help, Olivia.” His voice held exactly the right measure of devotion, compassion, and longing.
Now she smiled. “I’ll help you. Thank you for listening. I’m sorry I was awful earlier.”
“That’s okay. Will you be all right for a while? I need to work some things out myself.”
“Do you work things out by writing them in your notebook?”
There was a renewed sharp clench in his belly. This time it was unmistakably fear. “You—” He narrowed his eyes. “You read my notebook?”
She shook her head. “Of course not. I’ve seen you writing in it, though.” She patted the side of his arm. “It’s okay, we all do things differently. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Of course she hadn’t read it. She wouldn’t be standing there talking to him calmly if she’d read it. Get a grip.
“I’m not upset.” He forced a smile. “Our stuff is still in the truck. I should get it.”
Olivia nodded, and gave him a faltering smile in return. “Ben said we could sleep in the house next door. It’s kind of crowded in here. I mean, if it’s okay with you.”
“It’s fine. Better, in fact. I’ll go unload our things.”
“What if there’s another monster in that house?”
There is not. Reassure her, and cease this pointless conversation.
“Don’t worry. I’ll only be gone a little while.”
“Okay. Do you need any help?”
He shook his head. “No need. You’ll be safer in here with the others.” He stepped around her, then went through the living room toward the front door.
Good. Think, and write. Reflect. And you know now that she knows about the notebook.
Yes.
You might have to eliminate her if she finds out too much.
“I know,” he said in a breathless whisper as he crossed the front porch and descended the stairs.
Some of the people here will be useful, and you will give them information about what you know when the time is right. But all things must proceed in the right order. Otherwise they may try to stop you.
A warm breeze brushed his face. He hoisted out his backpack and Olivia’s bag from the bed of the truck.
“They don’t have the courage.”
The voice took on a harsh tone.
Arrogance is weakness. Do not misjudge them, especially Zolzaya Dubrovna. If you underestimate her strength, you will not be ready to act, and you will fall into ruin like the rest of them.
“I won’t let that happen.”
See that you don’t. For now, make your plans. Things are moving, and you must be ready for them.
Jackson brought their belongings into the empty house, standing and sniffing the air in the doorway for nearly a minute before he entered. Safe. Had he been alone, and not distracted by the others, he would have recognized the danger in the house where they were attacked.
Other people were always a distraction—unless they could be managed properly.
He closed the door, still holding the bags in one hand. And then he smelled lavender, felt the brush of a warm breeze on his face. His eyes widened, and the hairs on the back of his neck prickled.
No. She’s not here. Susan can’t be here. She’s….
He stopped before completing the thought. But the scent was not there a moment ago. There was no denying that.
He froze.
Then another voice spoke in his mind, a woman’s voice, calm and sweet and mild.
Stop this. There is still time to stop this. The boy said it. There has been enough broken in this world. Enough pain, enough sorrow, enough death. You can choose life. But you must do it quickly, before the power of choice is gone.
Susan….
You are the one who has the decision to make. Who to listen to, who to side with. There are ones here who could be powerful allies in this new world, but allies for good and not for evil and destruction.
The spicy scent was stronger, alluring. He could hear the laughter of children, the dry squeak of the chain of a playground swing set. Her face was before him, smiling at him, looking at him with pity and understanding and compassion.
The woman you are with. You could save her, too. You could be each other’s salvation. Don’t lock yourself away. You can’t think that I would want you to spend your life in celibate isolation. Let yourself say goodbye, let yourself miss me. Cry if you need to. Remember when you cried? You told me about your father, and how he treated you when you were a little boy, and you cried, and I held you until it was over….
There was a hard lump in his chest, a fist of anger and grief, trying to punch its way up through his body and out. He had felt it before. Here, standing in this empty living room in this empty world, he wa
s closer than ever to letting it rip through him, to purge it from his body, to sweep away the voices, the locks and guards, the apocalyptic vision, and simply be an ordinary man with an ordinary man’s needs.
His head rocked back as if he’d been struck, and there was a different odor, one that set his heart racing, the sharp tang of ozone and gunpowder.
You would let yourself be one of the weak ones. The Voice screamed inside his head, a gale of derision and scorn, measuring him and finding him wanting. You can choose that if you wish. Let your name be added to the list of failures, the list of men whose blood was watered-down milk. Let Surt strike you down, take your life in sacrifice. If that is what you want, so be it.
No….
The woman’s voice had no answer to this. Was she even still here? He sniffed the air, tentatively, like a predator trying to locate its prey. There was no trace of the sweet spice of lavender, only the rusty smell of blood and lightning.
The fist was forced down, swallowed, back deep into his belly where it belonged. It was too late to go there. Susan was gone, along with whatever sobbing weakling Jackson Royce had been back then.
Just as well. That Jackson would never have survived here anyway.
He dropped the bags on the floor, then pulled out his notebook. The bright light of early afternoon slanted in through the window, and he sat down in a chair in its warmth. For an hour afterwards, the only things that moved were his hand holding the pencil and the motes of dust flickering in the sunbeam.
9
WHERE IS HE? one of the travelers asked, and his voice trembled.
Wait, the antlered man said.
And on the other side appeared not one, but two men; the one who had stepped from the path, and the other a stooped, bent figure, with the tremulous walk of an old man, although his face was young.
Who is he? one asked.
The man shook his head. He is a man who broke the two most important rules of crossing the forest. First, never leave the path, not for any reason. And second…. Here his grin gleamed broader than ever, and the eyes behind the antlered mask appeared primal, wild, inhuman. Trust no one you meet. And he himself stepped aside, and his body twisted like a tendril of smoke and was gone.
—
ZOLZAYA CAME UPSTAIRS a little later with a sandwich on a plate for Jeff. The light in the room was dim even though it was midday. The window was open but the curtains half closed, fluttering in a warm breeze. Jeff sat in a chair beside Margo’s bed, nodding, but looked up and yawned as Zolzaya entered.
“How is she?”
“No change.”
“Does she seem to be in any pain?”
Jeff shook his head. “Sometimes she smiles. The demon isn’t tormenting her. Only holding her captive.” His brow wrinkled. “But she needs to be freed from it. I’ve prayed over her, asked God for his wisdom, but nothing. She still sleeps.”
“Are you able to get some water in her?”
“Yes. Slowly. I give her a sip every five minutes. She swallows, doesn’t choke. So there’s some part of her that’s still aware, because she can tell when I trickle water in.”
“It’s incredibly kind of you to do this for her. You barely know her.”
Jeff shrugged. “People I barely knew once saved my life, and didn’t expect anything in return. Without them, I’d be, long since, dead on the street, without anyone to mourn my passing.” He looked down at Margo’s quiet face. “I’m doing what the Lord expects is all. I have a big debt to repay.”
“Thank you. Margo can’t thank you right now, so I will.”
“I heard the ruckus downstairs. Is everything all right?”
“I honestly don’t know. There’s something building between Olivia and Mikiko. Mikiko lost it, started laughing at something Lissa said, and Olivia slapped her across the face. I thought there was going to be a full-on brawl, but Olivia backed off.”
“There is something twisted about that one.” His voice was dark and heavy. “Something wrong. I don’t know what it is. I’ve asked God for knowledge, but he’s silent about her.”
“Olivia?”
“No. Mikiko. Olivia is scared and lonely. That much I saw right away. And she wants Jackson, but Jackson doesn’t cleave to her. I’m not sure that he cares about her, or if he even lusts after her. Even if it’s only lust, when that’s done and over with, to him she doesn’t exist anymore.” His blush showed even in the dim light in the room. “I’m sorry to put it so blunt, but that’s what I see. I feel sorry for Olivia. But Mikiko? There’s something about her that’s not there.”
“Crazy, you mean? Is that because of the way she dresses?”
“No, I don’t mean crazy. I mean missing. Empty. I hope Olivia doesn’t make her too mad, because I don’t know what that girl might do. I don’t trust her, not at all.”
Probably best not to tell him Mikiko had propositioned her. Given how most people of Jeff’s stripe felt about homosexuals, it wouldn’t help matters if he knew she wasn’t straight.
“Gary’s lusting after Mikiko.” Jeff’s voice sounded mournful. “I’d tell him to be careful, but I don’t think he’d listen.”
“He’s young and impulsive. It’s not surprising that he’d react that way.”
“No. But I hope he can control it. No good could come of that. Plus, Ben looks up to him. It’s obvious. I think he’s good for Ben. Like an older brother, you know? Since Mikiko got here, he hasn’t said much of anything to Ben, but I don’t know what we can do about it.”
She shrugged. “Nothing, probably. But if you do get an opportunity, you could say something. I think there’s more to Gary than you’d think, and getting roughed up by that thing rattled him. Maybe he’d listen now that he’s not so sure of himself.”
“I guess it couldn’t hurt to try.”
“Anyway, I wanted to let you know that we’re going out soon to find medicine and supplies. Lissa’s resting for now, but she’ll need painkillers. And you can’t stay up round the clock giving Margo water. She’ll need more than that soon, or she’ll starve. So we’re going to see if we can find IV supplies—and whatever else might be useful.”
“Where are you going?”
“We thought about walking to the clinic, but Jackson said there probably wouldn’t be much there, and I think he’s right. We’re going to drive up to Shoreline Regional Hospital as soon as he comes back from getting settled in next door.”
“Who is going with you?”
“Gary and Lissa are out. Gary’s injured, not badly, but he doesn’t need to be on another mission. Lissa probably has fractured ribs, or at the least, some pretty serious bruises. And it never even occurred to anyone to ask Mikiko. I think everyone senses the sort of thing you feel, Jeff—that there’s something wrong with that girl. So it’s going to be me, Olivia, and Jackson. That’ll leave you here with the rest. Are you all right with that?”
“I’ll do what I can to protect them. But against the beast that you saw in the house, the one that hurt them—”
“I know. If it attacks the house, you’ll have to do what you can. We were going to get a gun for Lissa, but didn’t have a chance. Maybe there’ll be another chance to arm ourselves later, but for now, medical supplies are the first priority. You’ll have to defend yourselves however you can.” She looked back down at Margo. “I don’t know if we have any choice, other than letting Margo slowly starve to death.”
“No. It’s okay. I understand. I’ll be on guard.”
“Thanks, Jeff.”
“Be careful, Z.”
“We’ll be as careful as we can. It was going to be only Jackson and me, but Olivia demanded to come along as well. That means we have to drive my car. I think Olivia doesn’t like it that I’m going with them. She’s already staked out that territory for herself.”
“Olivia is jealous of you.”
“I figure Olivia will be jealous of anyone she thinks might be after Jackson.”
Jeff nodded.
“I wish th
ere was some way to convince her that I have no interest in Jackson at all.” She wrinkled up her nose. “None.”
“And that Jackson has no interest in her.”
“Well, I’m not going to be the one to say that, either.”
“Wouldn’t matter even if we did. She’s a flag flapping in a high wind. You can’t catch hold of her until the wind dies down.”
“I think it’s gonna get way windier before the storm’s over.”
He gave her another solemn nod. “I’ll pray for God’s protection over you.”
“Couldn’t hurt.”
—
JACKSON RETURNED FROM the Acostas’ house a half-hour later. He had a single piece of paper in his hand, which he gave to Zolzaya.
She gazed down at the drawing of Grendel that Jimmy Acosta had drawn, its baleful golden eyes staring into hers, its face half-melted, barely human.
“I found it in one of the bedrooms. Ben was telling the truth.”
“I didn’t think he was lying.”
“I never make that assumption. About anyone.” His face was impassive to the point of blankness. “Are you ready to go?”
She stood up from the sofa. Why was she willing to go with this man? A week ago, she would never have gotten into a car with him. Especially knowing he was armed. And now?
She nodded. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”
Olivia, looking unsure and frightened, followed suit.
“Wait here. After what happened, we have to be cautious any time we go out.” He stepped out onto the porch, his Glock drawn, finger on the trigger. He walked down the stairs, placing each foot carefully. Down to the end of the sidewalk, his head swiveled as he searched first up, then down the street. Only then did he motion for Zolzaya and Olivia to follow.
“Be careful, Z,” Lissa said from the couch, as Zolzaya moved toward the door. Ben had a chair drawn up next to her, and was reading to her from Stephen Hawking’s A Brief History of Time. “We can’t afford to lose you.”
The Fifth Day Page 21
