by Knupp, Amy
Carey laughed nervously. “I have stuff for that,” she whispered back. “Seriously, why are you here?”
“Why do you think I’m here?”
“I thought…we talked…I told you I didn’t need you to come.”
So maybe she’d lied, because she was ecstatic to see him. Having Devin here comforted her more than she’d ever guessed possible.
“This is a big deal,” he said. “You shouldn’t be alone.”
Looking over his shoulder, she noticed they’d caught the attention of several patients. She pulled him down beside her into a seat, not letting go of his forearm. She needed the contact. “I’m so nervous I could pee.”
He chuckled, seeming a little ill at ease.
“Actually that’d probably be from the gazillion gallons of water the doctor told me to drink. But still… I could hardly sleep last night.”
“This is right up your alley, like a video of the baby, isn’t it? What are you worried about?”
“What am I not worried about would be easier. What if they find something wrong?”
He rested his hand on hers. “They won’t.”
She couldn’t force herself to let go of his arm, even when he moved his hand away. She was still unable to believe he’d walked in.
He’d known she needed him. It warmed her down to her toes. He’d remembered. And he’d taken time out to be here—for her. The guy who didn’t even take time out for himself.
She’d truly thought she didn’t need him to come with her. Thought she could handle the excitement—and terror—all by her lonesome. She’d also believed she’d been doing an okay job of it…until he walked in the door. Then it had struck her that she wanted nothing more than to have him by her side, to hold his hand as she saw her baby.
She removed her fingers from his forearm and entwined them in his, not thinking twice about the intimate gesture. Content, she leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.
She would have drifted off had it not been for her bladder feeling like a ketchup packet being stomped on by a two-hundred-pound man.
When they called her name, her pulse pounded. She jerked her head off Devin’s shoulder and looked at him. “Let’s go,” he said softly, squeezing her hand.
Her chest tightened.
Devin followed Carey back into a maze of hallways and small exam rooms. She was in some kind of state—excited or nervous—he wasn’t quite sure what. She did seem happy to see him though, which was a relief. The only thing he was sure of was that Carey shouldn’t be alone.
The nurse showed them into a room equipped with a big machine. Carey hoisted herself onto the table, and the nurse motioned toward a chair for Devin. She asked Carey a couple of questions and noted the answers on a form, then told them the tech would be in shortly.
“She better hope so, otherwise she’ll have a puddle to wipe up,” Carey muttered after the nurse had left.
He chuckled but didn’t say anything because his uneasiness had just tripled in intensity. He knew next to nothing about ultrasounds. What if Carey had to undress? Something he hadn’t even considered as he’d weighed the pros and cons of showing up. Probably not a big deal if the man sitting at her feet was her husband and had seen the promised land a thousand times. But for a guy who was just along for the ride—okay, for a guy who was along for the ride and also happened to fantasize about that promised land from time to time—watching Carey get naked with an audience could prove to be an uncomfortable situation. He sure wouldn’t sit there unfazed. Yeah, seeing every last succulent inch of her would be quite the experience…in other circumstances. Here, it would be nothing but awkward as hell.
A middle-aged woman in a white jacket walked in, smiling at them both. She greeted Carey by name after skimming the form in her hand and introduced herself. Then she turned to him.
“And are you—”
“He’s a friend of mine,” Carey broke in.
He didn’t want to be her husband or the baby’s father, but her haste to dispel the misconception smarted.
Carey lay back, and the tech told her to raise her shirt and lower her pants. He panicked until he realized she didn’t mean all the way. Carey moved them enough for the woman to have full access to her slightly rounded belly. Devin forced himself to exhale.
Her skin looked soft, smooth, with no sign of the marks his mother had always grumbled about as if he were to blame. Nope, definitely nothing to complain about concerning the expanse of flesh in front of him. Unfortunately. He didn’t want to like what he saw.
The tech produced a tube of something and sloshed it onto Carey’s belly, rubbing it around. After dimming the lights, she picked up a wand and scooted closer to the machine.
“Do we want to know the sex of this baby?”
Carey glanced at Devin as if she wanted his input. He was caught completely off guard. Hadn’t she thought about this before now? “You have to decide,” he told her. Carey was the expert at spontaneous decisions.
She thought for a minute and smiled. “Yes. I want to know.”
Without taking her eyes from the monitor, which now showed a big white blur, she found Devin’s hand and held on to it. Tightly.
The tech listed body parts she supposedly saw on the screen, but you couldn’t prove it by him. He still saw a blob of static. He glanced at Carey to see if she was having any better luck, but judging by her concentrated expression, she wasn’t.
“I…don’t see anything but snow,” she finally said.
The tech smiled at her. “Sorry, I was checking certain parts, getting some measurements. I’ll slow down and point things out to you now.” She moved the wand on Carey’s belly and the view on the screen changed slightly. “Here we go. Here’s the head. Nose…eyes…lips.” With each word, she pointed things out, and suddenly Devin could see a face.
The face of his cousin’s baby. Oh, there wasn’t enough detail to see any resemblance, but Devin was fixated on it.
Carey’s hand clutched him even harder. “There’s my baby!” Her eyes lit up. She was radiant.
The father’s absence had no bearing on this magical moment. At least not for her. For him, the thought of Jerod was distracting. Annoying. Devin should be glad he could be here to share this moment with Carey, but instead, he was stuck on the baby’s paternity.
He held on to Carey’s hand and concentrated on staying calm and appearing unbothered. He was here to support her and had to drop his stupid hang-up with the facts. Or at least hide it.
He’d never been one to expect fairness from life, but he couldn’t help questioning why things had turned out as they did. Why Jerod? It could as easily have been him.
He wondered what it would be like if…
No. It wasn’t his child. Carey wasn’t his girlfriend. Even if he was foolish enough to love her, he knew… He didn’t have it in him to bring up another man’s child. Especially not Jerod Mauriello’s.
“Here’s the heart,” the tech said.
Devin focused on Carey instead of the monitor, telling himself her face was much more interesting than a screen of hard-to-decipher images.
He could read her love for her unborn child as clearly as if she’d written it out for him and drawn pictures. There was no doubt in his mind she’d be the best mom the kid could have. She’d make up for the absence on the paternal side. He hoped the child someday realized how lucky he or she was.
“You still want to know what flavor you’ve got in there?” the tech asked.
Carey nodded, and Devin couldn’t help peeking, even though it was all gibberish to him. There were no sex organs anywhere to be seen on the monitor.
“Looks like a girl.”
A wordless sound of joy came from Carey, and tears formed in her eyes. He’d suspected she’d wanted a girl but had never asked. Bringing up the topic of the baby was something he didn’t do.
After they’d selected some screen shots to print out, the ultrasound was over and they were led back to the waiting room,
whereupon Carey darted to the restroom.
“Pee sample,” she explained, when she returned. “Really hard to accomplish when you’ve got it coming out your ears. Come to the rest of the appointment with me?” she asked him as they crossed the lobby toward empty chairs.
“There’s more?” He stifled a groan.
“I see the doctor next. Normal monthly stuff.”
She sat, but he hesitated. “I think I better head back to the office.” In truth, he’d had enough of dwelling on the baby’s paternity.
She frowned but didn’t say anything.
“I’m sorry, Carey, it’s just that…” What? He wasn’t dumb enough to tell her how he really felt about the baby. That’d be enough to kill their friendship. He left the sentence hanging.
“It’s okay. Go ahead.” She forced a grin, but it didn’t quite ring true. “Thanks for coming to the ultrasound. That was the important part.”
He tried to smile, but the lobby suddenly felt stifling, as though all the oxygen had been sucked out. He had to get out of there. “See you later,” he choked out.
He felt like a shitty friend.
“THE BABY looks great,” Dr. Estes said almost thirty minutes later as he looked over the information from the ultrasound. “Measurements checked out, all the parts are there.”
“No growth problems,” Carey said to reassure herself.
“None.” He measured her belly as he spoke. “And you’re catching up, too. You need to eat and gain weight this month. You still look small, but that’s probably because of your long frame.”
She breathed a sigh of relief. Seeing the baby had done wonders, but hearing the healthy report from the doctor finally put her mind at ease.
“Sounds good, too,” he said, holding the Doppler to her lower abdomen as they listened to the whoosh-whoosh of the baby’s sturdy heart.
Once again, she was awed by the sound.
“You, on the other hand, have me a little concerned,” the doctor continued, putting the Doppler away.
Carey sat up, looking questioningly at him.
“Your blood pressure is up. Not to an alarming level, but we need to watch it.”
She frowned, unsure of what to say.
“How’s your stress level?”
That made Carey laugh. “Stress level? A bit elevated.”
“What’s going on?” He sat on the little swivel stool and made eye contact, giving Carey the impression he really did care and wasn’t just trying to get to his next patient.
“Normal pregnancy things,” she said, determined not to sound whiney. “Worrying about the baby, worrying about being a single mom, worrying about a place to live.”
Dr. Estes chuckled softly. “Those aren’t exactly run-of-the-mill worries. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate.”
Carey grinned. “Is that a politically correct way to say my life is a mess?”
“I didn’t say that,” he said. “A place to live, huh? What are you looking for?”
She briefly explained how none of the twenty-plus places she’d looked at were suitable.
He sat back pensively. “Maybe we could work out something to help each other. My wife and I both have ridiculous schedules. We’ve thrown around the idea of renting out our garage apartment. We’d both feel better having someone on the property a little more regularly.”
Carey felt a spark of hope, but then she realized he was probably talking more money than she had. It was a doctor’s house, after all. The garage was probably bigger than Trent’s entire house and yard put together.
“I have two cats,” she said.
“Are they litter-box trained?”
She nodded.
“Shouldn’t be a problem. The apartment has two bedrooms, a kitchen, small living area and bathroom. It’s the size of a three-car garage.”
“How much do you want for rent?” she asked, preferring to get to the heart of the matter before she got too excited.
“How much can you afford to pay?”
Without hesitating, she gave him the figure she’d come up with in her budget.
“That sounds okay to me,” he said. “I’ll talk to my wife and call you if you want.”
“Where is it?” she asked, unable to believe her low budget hadn’t scared him off.
“On the west side. Very edge of town.” He explained exactly how to get there. It was a neighborhood she could only dream of living in—the kind anyone would want their child to grow up in.
“Where can I reach you once I’ve talked to my better half?”
She scribbled down her home and cell numbers on the back of the prescription tablet he handed her. “You’ll let me know either way?” she asked, trying to contain her excitement.
“Of course. Within the next day or two.”
She was ready to sign a lease on the spot, sight unseen. How bad could it be? It was in a great neighborhood, and it had actual rooms. Not half walls, but rooms. Please let this work out, she thought. If she was stuck with the crummy studio apartment, Devin would never let her hear the end of it, and she would likely go stark raving mad.
“Regardless of whether you decide you like our place, I hope you find something soon. You can’t put so much stress on yourself,” the doctor said. “I want you back in two weeks, and we’ll check your blood pressure again.”
He listed symptoms of preeclampsia—his fancy word for high blood pressure—to watch for in the meantime, none of which she’d yet experienced. So much for leaving with a sense of relief. Seemed like there was always more to worry about, and she figured that would quadruple when the baby made its entry into the world. This motherhood thing was really starting to scare her.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CAREY LET HERSELF into the house, hoping Trent wasn’t home. The garage door was closed, which was a good sign. She wasn’t in the mood for another argument. The day had been too emotional already.
After her appointment, she’d treated herself to sin in the form of a banana split with nuts and extra whipped cream for lunch. Seeing her baby, even if it was just on a screen, was cause for a mini-celebration.
When she’d finished the calorie fest, she’d rushed off to photograph a cow giving birth on a farm just outside of town for a children’s magazine. She’d done work for them in the past and they paid well. A little cow blood was no big deal for a paycheck. She just hoped her own labor was more private.
For being such a special day, it had seemed to go downhill after Devin had left. The high blood pressure had her a bit spooked, even though it was probably just the worries she’d tormented herself with all night. Of course, she’d watch for the symptoms Dr. Estes had warned her of, but really, she felt okay. She would know if anything started to go wrong.
She dropped her camera bag by the door and took her purse with her to the kitchen table. Collapsing in a chair, she took out the ultrasound pictures she’d already looked at fifty times or so.
My little girl. She couldn’t be more thrilled, not only at the gender news but at her daughter’s bill of health. She couldn’t bear to think about what she’d do if her baby had problems of some kind. She blew a kiss at one of the tiny black-and-white images, slipped one back into her purse and kept the rest out. She’d find a cute pastel-colored frame for the one of the baby’s face.
The doorbell rang and she glanced at her watch. It was almost seven o’clock. Too late for a door-to-door, and she wasn’t expecting anyone. She dragged herself up.
Devin stood on the front steps, hands in the front pockets of his jeans, his head cocked to the side. “Hi. Can I come in?”
“Of course.” She still held the ultrasound pictures in her hand. “I was just admiring her,” she said, holding them up.
He nodded as he entered but didn’t really appear to hear what she’d said. Looking beyond her, he seemed to search for her brother.
“He’s gone,” she said.
“Carey.” His mood was too serious. He didn’t even move toward sitting down.
“What’s going on, Devin?”
He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry I bailed on you today—”
“Devin, I said it was okay. I meant it.” She really did. Once she’d seen the baby on the monitor and got the news there were no gaping problems, her fear had faded.
It was her baby. Her excitement. Her spectacular moment. Not his.
Hers and hers alone.
And she was okay with that. She’d just temporarily forgotten it in the midst of extreme relief and excitement.
Devin looked as though he wanted to say something else as he stood there, arms crossed, staring at her.
“Really.” She smiled to show him she was fine.
His expression didn’t relax.
“You’re beating yourself up over this, aren’t you?” She stepped toward him and grasped his forearm. “It’s okay. But if you really feel the need to make it up to me…”
His eyebrows rose half an inch.
“Do you have plans Saturday night?” she asked.
“Uh, no.”
She tried not to smile at his uneasiness. He thought she was going to ask him out. Well, she was, in a sense, but probably not in the way he thought. “I have one of those ‘having someone else there would be better’ situations.” They’d saved each other before, and she prayed he’d agree to this one lousy evening.
He smirked begrudgingly. “I’m getting excited already.”
“My mom invited us over to meet the love of her life. Drinks, dinner, awkward chatter.” She widened her eyes. “Please, go with me.”
He lowered himself to the arm of the old love seat, grinning and shaking his head. “That’s pretty harsh punishment.”
“Will you do it?”
He studied her before taking a deep breath. “Why not? I could use a night of misery, myself.”
“We’ll call it even, then.”
He’d be even more miserable when he found out Trent would be there, too, but she’d deal with that when it was too late for him to turn back. Like when they knocked on her mother’s door.
