“Johnny, listen—”
“And just so you know the entire reason I’m pissed as fuck at you, I had to hear that shit from someone else, not my brother who had a fuckin’ fight with my woman’s sister on the goddamn street and then came back to the garage and worked right beside me for the next three hours and didn’t say dick.”
All right.
You know what?
He was done with this.
So he bit out, “Johnny, lay off.”
“Lay off?” That came low and even more ticked than his brother had already sounded.
“Yeah, lay the fuck off,” Toby returned.
“Have you lost your goddamned mind?”
“No, actually, I haven’t,” Toby gritted.
“What was it about?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“Wrong,” Johnny clipped. “When it comes to Eliza’s sister, it’s absolutely my business. When it comes to my kid brother, it’s my business. I cannot fuckin’ believe you got up in Addie’s shit and didn’t say dick to me. But I shouldn’t be surprised. That’s vintage Toby.”
Oh, hell no.
“Right, no,” Toby ground out. “We’re not doin’ this. You are not goin’ there. I’ve eaten that shit for as long as I’m willin’ to eat it. This ends here.”
“Tobe—”
“No,” he interrupted. “I’m not you. Get over it. I’ve never been you. But I’ve been around for nearly thirty-three years so it’s time you got your head around it. And speakin’ of that, I’m nearly thirty-three fuckin’ years old, Johnny. It’s also time you quit treating me like I’m thirteen.”
He heard his brother start to talk but Toby didn’t let him get anything out because he kept going.
“This isn’t about me takin’ off to the mill when I’m eight to have my own space to do my own thing and not tellin’ anyone about it. I was a kid. And yeah, maybe I shouldn’t have done that or any of the other shit you think I shouldn’t have done because it wasn’t what you’d do, but I was a fuckin’ kid. And straight up, there was a reason for me doin’ just about everything I did, including that. I was a kid who needed his own fuckin’ space to do his own fuckin’ thing and there’s nothin’ wrong with that.”
“To—”
Toby spoke over him. “No, this is about me bein’ a grown-ass man and you not bein’ down with whatever it is you’re not down with, and no offense, man, but I no longer give a fuck you’re not down with it. I don’t ask you to explain the ins and outs of your life and the decisions you make. I should not have to ask you to return that favor.”
“Brother, listen—”
Toby didn’t listen.
He kept talking because this shit needed to be said and as far as he was concerned, it was a long time coming.
“Not once, outside Dad payin’ my tuition for college, and yeah, it took me seven years to get my degree because I kept goin’ off and doin’ something else, but I got my degree, Johnny. Not fuckin’ once did I ask you or Dad or Grams and Gramps or Margot and Dave for a fuckin’ dime. I made my own way. I paid my own bills. I bought my own cars. I paid for my mechanic’s license and my pilot’s license out of my own pocket. I did my own thing and I took care of myself doin’ it, not leanin’ on goddamned anyone. And yeah, I’ve been out on my own for fifteen years, never laid down roots. Longest I stayed in one place was for three years, but who the fuck cares?”
“Toby—”
Tobe didn’t let Johnny get another word in.
He kept at him.
“I’ve never been arrested. I’ve never carried debt I couldn’t pay off on my own. I never missed payin’ a bill, bein’ prepared to take a test in a classroom, or a day of work. I’m no one’s baby daddy, never made a promise I didn’t keep and never broke a single heart by bein’ an ass. I can’t say I didn’t get in a tangle or two, but it was when I was tryin’ to do the right thing for the wrong people. All I did was live my life in a way you don’t live yours, doin’ it just happening to be the second Gamble son. I’m sorry if you think different, but that does not buy me a lifetime of taking your shit.”
“Brother—”
“And I’ll point out, Johnny, even after Dad died and I got my take from the garages, I didn’t go out and buy a yacht and a Ferrari and live the good life bein’ a freeloader and scoring pussy and acting like a twat. I stayed gainfully employed, lived well within my means, and when the time was right for me, I came home and did my thing at the garage. I’m not asking you to congratulate me for that, but a little respect would not suck.”
“Toby, listen for a—”
Tobe wasn’t going to listen because he wasn’t done.
“And what happened with Addie was between Addie and me. We’re both adults. But it’s more. She’s not your fiancée’s sister and I’m not your kid brother. She’s Addie and I’m Toby, and I hate to break this to you, Johnny, but some shit doesn’t have anything to do with you. What that was about was between Addie and me. Actually, what it was about was about Addie and she’d not thank me if I shared. So I came back to the garage and I didn’t say dick to you, because, like I goddamned said, it’s none of your fuckin’ business.”
“There’s an Addie and you?” Johnny asked, and at least he sounded cautious and somewhat curious, not ticked.
But Toby was still pissed.
Especially about that.
And most especially because his brother was part of the reason there wasn’t a that.
“No. When it comes to that, there’s Eliza’s sister and Johnathon’s brother. And I doubt I gotta share this with you, brother, but that cuts.”
“Tobe,” Johnny said quietly.
Yeah.
He didn’t have to share that.
“I’m not goin’ there with her,” he assured. “I know how you feel about it, but that’s not the only reason why I’m not goin’ there. Addie needs shit copacetic and if we took a shot and it went south, that would not be good for her. So you’ve made it clear how you’d feel if I did what I wanna do and made Adeline and Brooklyn a bigger part of my life, but it’s mostly for Adeline that I’m not.”
“It’s not lost on me, or Iz, you got feelings for her,” Johnny replied, still going careful.
“Yeah, brother, I have feelings for her,” Toby said sarcastically, because it ran a lot deeper than that, and he had a feeling not only Johnny, but Izzy, knew it.
“Man, she’s not in a place where—”
Christ.
He was not going to listen to his brother warning him off Addie again.
“I know what place she’s in, Johnny,” he clipped out. “I know it a lot better than you. And I’ll repeat, I’m not goin’ there and I’m not doin’ it because of just that.”
Though, if she was in his life, in his bed, he could change the place she was in.
Except he had a feeling after their enjoyable conversation on the street the day before, she had no fucking clue where he was at with that, which stung.
More, she was too stubborn to accept help.
And last, she was very aware if they fucked shit up how messy it’d get, and she had enough mess. No way, not only for herself, but mostly for her son, would she court more.
“Is she okay?” Johnny asked.
“Not mine to give.”
“She’s not okay,” Johnny muttered.
Toby didn’t say anything.
“Iz is gonna talk to her. She heard about the fight too,” Johnny told him.
“Great,” Toby bit off.
There was a pause before Johnny admitted, “You’re right. I’m hard on you. It’s time to let the big brother shit go.”
“Yeah,” Toby agreed shortly, because as he’d just pointed out pretty clearly, it fucking was.
“We’re just worried about Addie,” Johnny declared.
There was a lot to be worried about.
Toby didn’t confirm that.
And it sucked to have the clashing feelings of being glad his brothe
r was part of a “we’re” and being frustrated as all fuck that the woman Toby wanted to give him that was right within his grasp and he could not have it.
“And I took that out on you,” Johnny went on.
Toby confirmed that.
“Yeah, you did.”
“This isn’t big brother shit, this is just brotherly advice, Tobe, but maybe you need to get out there. Look around. Find a woman. Ask her out. Move on,” Johnny advised.
“I know this is gonna piss you off and make you think I’m a flake, Johnny, but after New Years’, I’m leaving.”
Johnny had nothing to say to that.
“And this is brotherly respect I share why,” Toby continued. “What I feel for her, it’s more than you think. It isn’t about finding someone else to ask out. I don’t even see other women anymore. But some guy is eventually gonna see her and I cannot be around to watch that.”
“Jesus, Toby,” Johnny whispered in a way that Tobe knew his brother now, finally, really got him.
“She gets her feet under her and her head around bein’ a single mom, she’ll start livin’ life again, and where I’m at right now, I can’t handle how that might go down. So I got that friend down in Florida, he’s always on me to come down and help him run his gig. I’m gonna head down there. I’ll be back in July to hang and do the bachelor party for you, go to the coed shower Izzy wants to have, whatever the fuck, and stand up with you at your wedding in August. If by then my head is somewhere else, I’ll stay. We’ll see. But for now, I’m not takin’ off on you, Iz, Addie, Margot and Dave. You got notice. I’ll tell Margot and Dave and Addie when I got time but that’ll be soon. Then, after the new year, I’m gone.”
“It runs that deep?” Johnny queried.
“Love you, brother. But just to say, you’re usually sharp. You in your own thing with Izzy, maybe you aren’t paying attention. But pay attention. She isn’t Izzy and I’m not you. She’s Addie and I’m me. You think on it, you’ll answer that question yourself.”
“Toby—”
“My mind’s made up,” Toby cut him off to say, done with the big brother shit, he was now done with this conversation. “But heads up, I’m not comin’ to Addie’s thing tomorrow night. As you know, we were in each other’s faces yesterday. I’m still pissed as shit at her, and I need some space. We’ll sort it out. We’ll have a good family holiday. Then I’ll be outta here.”
“For the record, I don’t want you to go,” Johnny shared. “I like havin’ you around.”
He liked being around.
And he totally dug Johnny liked having that.
Sadly, that didn’t change anything.
“I’ll be back.”
“Right, then more advice. Don’t commit to your man in Florida. Take a week to think and let shit chill. You might be in a different frame of mind, whatever happened with Adeline cools off.”
That wasn’t going to happen.
But he could make that promise.
“Good advice,” he muttered. “I’ll take it.”
“One more thing, Toby.”
Shit.
Johnny didn’t hesitate giving it to him.
“I love you too. And now I realize I’ve been hard on you. It’s part big brother bullshit. But it’s also part Dad wanted us to run the garages together, and I want that for Dad, but for me too. Though I’ll share again, I just like having you around. I’m not sayin’ that to put pressure on you to stay. I’m sayin’ that because you pointed out I’ve been bein’ a dick, and you were right in everything you said, including the fact I’ve been bein’ a dick. I’ll stop bein’ that not only because you’re right, but because I love you and I like workin’ with you, havin’ you close, havin’ you be a part of me findin’ Iz and plannin’ our lives. And I like to think that when we get down to makin’ a family, since my woman wants fifteen kids, they’ll have their Uncle Toby around.”
Fuck, that felt good.
Though he hoped Johnny didn’t give Eliza fifteen kids. They’d both be run ragged, and birthdays and Christmases would be a bitch.
To explain all that to his brother, Toby said, “You’re not a dick.”
“No. But I’ve been bein’ one and that’s gonna stop. You got your own life to lead and you’re right, it’s time I laid off. That starts now.”
Toby blew out another breath before he muttered, “Thanks.”
“One other thing before I let you go.”
Jesus Christ.
“What?” Toby prompted when Johnny didn’t say anything.
“Something you might not know, Izzy likes you for Addie. Margot likes you for Addie. The only one of our crew who didn’t is me. So while you’re takin’ that week to think, now that we’ve had this out and you’ve shared where your head is at, think about the fact you might want to be around when Adeline gets her feet under her and hits her groove with bein’ a single mom.”
Toby stared at the counter of the island not seeing it, the shock his brother’s words sent through him struck that deep.
“Sorry I won’t see you tomorrow night,” Johnny continued. “If you wanna get some beers at Home tonight, I’m down. Addie called Iz and they want her for a couple extra hours of overtime tonight. Iz is takin’ Brooklyn over to the acres so she can feed him and put him down at home while Addie’s at work. I can be there for that, or I can be at Home with you. Your call.”
“I did the Home thing last night, brother. Already got the town buzzin’ about my shit. Don’t need them to think I’m becoming the local barfly.”
“Right, then if you want me over at yours for a couple of beers, your call on that too.”
“I’ve had a taste for nachos for two weeks.”
“Then I’ll be there at six.”
For the first time since his phone chat with Addie Wednesday night, Toby smiled.
“Right. Thanks, man.”
“And thanks to you for the honesty. Good we got that hammered out.”
So totally Johnny.
You got up in his shit, he listened, and if he was in the wrong, he didn’t get defensive and act like an ass. He owned up to it and made it easy for everyone to move on.
“Thanks for listening, brother,” Toby muttered.
“All good. Later, Toby.”
“Later, Johnny.”
They disconnected, and Toby went back to his water bottle.
He sucked some back, processing all that, and the relief it gave him, and the fact that felt really fucking good.
But he was left with his brother’s words bouncing in his mind.
Think about the fact you might want to be around when Adeline gets her feet under her and hits her groove with bein’ a single mom.
He’d stepped way over the line in some of the shit he’d spewed at Addie yesterday.
But her obstinately getting in his face, blowing him off and making him sound like a moron was way over the line too.
He cared about her and worried for her and maybe he didn’t use the right words or tone to share that, but she’d blown up and to save face, acted like he was an idiot.
It was the first time since he met her he had second thoughts about how he felt about Adeline Forrester.
They might be able to get past that, they might not.
In Toby’s mind, with the way their argument ended, that was on her.
What came after, he had no clue.
The issues he just handled with Johnny had gone in a way he never would have expected.
That was life.
It almost always went ways you didn’t expect.
You just sailed those winds. Fighting them served no purpose.
His mother had left her family, not looking back, when he was three.
Both the grandparents he knew, since his mother’s parents had never been in their lives, died way too young.
His father had followed suit.
He’d watched his brother fall deeply in love, just like their father, only to have his woman chose another man over him. T
hat man was her brother, but since her brother was a pathologically self-absorbed lunatic, not a living soul with a head on their shoulders would have thought that was the right call. Johnny had found Eliza and had been healed, but it was only luck that Eliza was Eliza, or Toby knew Johnny would still be living half a life, going through the motions with a heart broken in a way that couldn’t be mended.
And it wasn’t nice, but it was the truth, that Toby had gotten involved with losers, nutcases or bitches, like it was hereditary to be drawn to women who fucked you up.
Adeline was in a spot, but she was not making the right calls, and that wasn’t just his opinion, he knew that shit to be true.
Time would tell.
And as his big brother advised, Toby would give it a week.
It was up to her.
Then he’d know what made her.
And if it went the way he didn’t want, it would suck huge, but he’d bounce.
If it went the way he did . . .
With his brother now on board, Izzy on board, even freaking Margot on board . . .
That would be an entirely different story.
Addie
Of course it would happen an hour before I got off and could go home and get off my feet.
Nearly every job I’d had required me to be on them standing or walking, but it was becoming evident that ten hours was about my limit.
She’d come through my line at least a dozen times in the months I’d worked there.
And every time, she had not hidden she was not good people.
She was mostly on the phone or texting, acting like I didn’t exist (my bagger either).
The message was clear. I was beneath her. Her groceries were magically rung up, bagged up and put in her cart so she could look into the distance and strut away without bothering with the little people.
It was that or she’d be in the mood to fuck with me and demand a price check, declaring something was on sale, or two for one when it was not, and she knew it. She did it just because she could.
Brunette. Tall. Almost painfully trim.
She was beautiful. She dressed great. She clearly had money, if the designer handbags she so overtly carried and her fresh manicures that were undoubtedly not done by herself were anything to go by.
The Slow Burn ~ Kristen Ashley Page 8
