by Lindy Zart
Ben hugs me to him, his grip hard but welcome. “The gun went off. Is anyone hurt?”
Growls and grunts grow in volume, and I shift my eyes to the side. The mama bear has the hunter’s firearm in its mouth and it’s shaking its head, intent on demolishing the weapon. The bear cub sits beside its mom, contentedly watching. My eyes move down, landing on a motionless man. My eyes go up, and find the other three hugging one another, a tight circle of crows keeping them from going anywhere. They caw in a song of warning, pecking at the men any time they move the slightest bit.
“No one’s hurt. It must have gone off when the bear went for him.” I nod toward the prone man.
Ben runs a hand over his face. “This is crazy. Now what?”
“Tie them up?” I suggest.
“In a minute. They aren’t going anywhere.” He drops his hand, eyeing me. “What you did was very stupid.”
I narrow my eyes.
“And very heroic.”
An odd wheezing sound leaves me, and I feel my face crumple a moment before I fling my arms around Ben and hold him with all my might. I will never let him go, not in my heart. I pull back enough to meet his questioning gaze. “You’re right—I do need my father. But I need you too, Ben.”
Ben drops his head, taking a shuddering breath. He lifts his gaze and gives me a sweet smile. “You always have me, no matter what. I think you always did.” He takes my hand and sets it to his heart, the meaning clear.
I have his heart.
He has mine.
“Someone kill me already,” one of the hunters groans, yelping as a crow counters his words with a jab of its beak to his ankle.
“Do you hear that?” Ben stiffens and cocks his head, listening.
I frown, straining my ears as a strange noise vibrates from above. Wind picks up, tousling my hair about my head. “What is that?”
“I think it’s a—”
Ben’s words are obliterated as lights and blades come closer. Elation flares inside my chest and blooms outward, warm and happy. I jump up and down, waving my arms in the air. “It’s a helicopter! They found us!”
Finally. Finally, we can go home.
BEN
My heartrate spikes. I move at a slower pace, not nearly as excited as Avery. Relief at being found is trampled by the knowledge that once we go back, everything else will most likely go back to the way it was. I watch Avery, not even caring about the helicopter. She’ll be someone I don’t know again. If we hadn’t gotten lost together, we never would have found the strongest versions of one another. We’d still be strangers. In a way, we’d still be lost.
Avery jogs forward toward the clearing in the distance, and then stops, turning to face me. Her smile fades as she looks at me. I try to smile, but fail.
Golden eyes sparkle with sorrow. “Ben?”
I see on her face what I feel in my heart. Whatever we found in Shawnee National Forest won’t last. I already feel it falling away, sliding back into the ground of impossibilities that somehow worked for a guy named Ben and a girl named Avery who were stuck in the woods together. She’ll advance at Sanders and Sisters; she’ll get to know the father she hadn’t been allowed. And me? I’ll get to know the world a little better, and maybe what I want from it as well. As for us, I don’t know.
“Let’s go,” I say with a forced smile. I brush my fingers along the side of her hand as I reach her, and she takes my hand in hers.
Fingers locked with the woman I swore I’d never want and instead want more each hour, I head in the direction of where the helicopter landed. It takes a dozen minutes to crest the small hill and it takes none at all. The helicopter propellers slow to a stop at the same time we do, and out steps the infamous Duke Renner, who I now know to be Avery’s father. That knowledge makes my stomach queasy—maybe because I’m in love with his daughter.
Duke’s short black hair is windblown, his ice-blue eyes set on my face. There are hundreds of questions there, waiting to be voiced. Even now, on a rescue mission, in the middle of the country, he’s dressed in a suit and tie.
Avery stops and then steps forward, stopping again. She sighs, not making another move to reach him. I squeeze her fingers, sensing her confliction. Duke’s her dad, and he isn’t.
Two people rush past him, first-aid kits at the ready. Another helicopter is nearby, sporting the insignia of law enforcement. There are some official-looking men who keep their distance as we’re looked over; that must be their ride. I wonder what we look like to them. If the paleness of the woman’s face who asks me to sit down is anything to go by, pretty bad.
Avery and I are literally pulled apart, but our eyes find each other’s as we’re examined and asked questions. I don’t want to let her go. Her face says the same. We were shoved together and told to be a team. We’re more than that now. We are connected in a way that only some form of disaster can create and never take away. We’re bonded.
When it finally hits that we will soon be gone from this place, I drop my head to my knees and breathe. I feel numb. We thought we might die. We didn’t know when we’d be rescued, if ever. We haven’t properly bathed, or eaten, or had clean water, in days. Avery and I faced not only the weather, but wildlife, and criminals on top of that. We got through so much shit together.
I can look at the world now and demand: What are you going to throw at me next?
And I’ll be ready for whatever it is.
“Are you all right?” are the first words my boss says to us, his chiseled features blank. I know the look well. It’s his serious face. If Duke isn’t grinning, then Duke means business. He’s concerned, worried. I wonder if Avery can read his facial expressions like I can.
“Yes,” Avery tells him with only a slight quiver in her voice.
I glance at her, expecting her to be looking at her father, but her gaze is set on me. Avery is pale beneath her sunburn, shadows lining her eyes. Yet, with the moon behind her, she shines. I pity the brush that tries to manage that wild mane of hair. I look down, take a sharp breath, and look up again. Those eyes haven’t left my face. They speak to me. They tell me things Avery has never spoken.
“Ben?”
My focus shifts to Duke.
“You okay?”
I study him, looking for a sign of her in him. Maybe the full lips, the high cheekbones—definitely the doggedness of spirit. You tell Duke something he doesn’t want to hear, and he gnaws at it like a bone until it becomes what he expects. I see that in Avery. She never gave up, even when she wanted, and she never gave up on me, even when she should have.
I give a short nod.
Duke clasps a hand to each of our shoulders. White teeth, some crowned for no other reason than to be esthetically pleasing, appear. “Good to see you two are all right. Damn, you had us shitting bricks. What the hell happened?”
Neither of us speak.
Duke looks between the two of us. “No pressure. Talk when you’re ready.”
Avery nods once. I do a poor imitation of the same.
“How did you find us?” I ask through a dry throat.
“We saw a fire back there.” He hitches a thumb over his shoulder. “We thought it should be checked out. Was that yours?”
Avery nods toward the hunters. “It was probably theirs.”
Duke looks around us, as if noticing the men and animals for the first time. “Who are they?”
“Bad men,” Avery mutters.
Duke’s eyes narrow. “What’s been going on out here?”
I meet the gaze of one of the uniformed men. “They threatened to kidnap Avery; I also believe them to be illegally hunting on private property.”
“And the animals?” the officer asks faintly.
I shrug. “I guess they helped us.”
The man’s eyebrows furrow.
With a bellow that causes Avery and I both to jump, the black bear and its cub meander across the land and over the side of a hill. Cawing, the crows bid their goodbye as well.
“Y
ou might want to notify someone to change the Shawnee National Forest’s website. There are bears here,” I tell the uniformed men, wryness in my tone.
“Let’s get you two to the hospital.” Duke puts an arm around both of us. His voice is low when he says, “I apologize to you both; this is the last thing I wanted to happen.”
Duke moves us toward the helicopter, his hold not relinquishing until we’re seated. Enigmatic blue eyes drill into mine. “You want to explain all that in better detail to me?”
Exhaustion hits me. I shake my head. “Not now. I will, but…not now.”
Not one to take no for an answer, I’m surprised when Duke sits back and nods. “All right.”
The ride is noisy and uncomfortable, but Avery and I are silent. The void grows; we both draw back into ourselves. It makes me feel sick. I catch her looking at me, sadness lining her shimmery eyes. With a lump in my throat, I look away, my fingers fisting in my lap. I want to hold her, but it feels as if I am not allowed. I know Avery would let me, and yet, I keep my distance.
Why does it feel as if I’m losing everything?
I feel Duke’s eyes on us, probing and curious.
I say nothing, and maybe by doing so, I say a lot.
21
BEN
The television, although not that loud, grates on my eardrums. My parents refuse to leave the room unless the nurses order it, and even then, they sometimes put up a fight. All I can think about is Avery in the room across the hall, and how there’s no one with her. It puts an ache in my chest and a sour taste in my mouth.
“You should sue them,” my mother states.
I snap my eyes to her. She’s about as tall as a middle schooler and has short brown hair. My mother is sweet, but get her mad and she turns into something scary. Hurt her kids in any way and it’s go time. She views my recent predicament as an attack against my person.
“Mom, stop.”
“That Extreme Retreat company and your boss too. What kind of people promote those kinds of heathen activities? This isn’t the Stone Age.”
“It’s uncivilized, and dangerous, yes, but we all knew what we were getting into. Their belief is that throwing people into crazy scenarios is the most effective way to form authentic teamwork skills. It says it right on the pamphlet.” Of course, it doesn’t say to get lost. That was all us.
Sally Stitzer looks me in the eyes and says, “You’re my son. I’m supposed to look out for you. If I don’t, who will?”
I close my eyes. “I’m not suing anyone.”
“If you won’t sue the company he hired, then sue Duke Renner,” she continues fiercely. “He never should have sent you on some insane wilderness expedition. It’s barbaric.”
“We all agreed to it. We even signed a waiver beforehand.” I don’t add that it was implied that if we didn’t go through with it, we might lose our jobs. Opening my eyes, I meet my mom’s angry, worried face, and say firmly, “I’m not suing anyone.”
She makes a sound of pain. “Ben—”
“Sally,” my dad says warningly. “This isn’t the time.”
“He could have died.” The last word comes out choked.
I sigh. “Anyone can die at any time. I didn’t. Let’s focus on that.”
“And that poor girl! What’s her name again?”
“Avery. Mom—”
“Avery. That poor thing. She was almost kidnapped! Who knows what would have happened to her if they’d managed to get away with it?”
My skin heats up as I think about what could have happened to Avery. It isn’t until I feel the ache in my joints that I notice my hands clenched around the sheet. I loosen my fingers, my eyes on the wall across the room. I feel bad about it, but I want them to leave. This room has been full of people off and on since I was admitted. I know it hasn’t been the same for Avery. Her mother is gone, and her father doesn’t know he’s her father.
She’s alone.
I don’t want her to be alone.
“Sally, that’s enough,” my dad barks, noticing my agitation. “Let’s take a walk. Ben needs to rest.”
“Oh…I’m sorry, Ben. I don’t mean to get worked up. You can’t imagine how worried we were and it could have been so much worse. I keep thinking about that, even though I know I shouldn’t.” A warm hand brushes hair from my forehead. She sounds on the verge of tears as she asks, “Can you even see without your glasses?”
I smile and take her hand, squeezing her fingers. “Yes, Mom, I can see.”
“Okay.” She takes a deep breath, wipes her eyes, and looks at my dad. “Let’s grab a bite to eat and come back in a couple hours.”
“You don’t have to come back tonight,” I tell them quickly.
Her face pinches.
My dad puts a reassuring arm around my mom and looks at me through his wire-rimmed glasses. “We’ll grab something to eat and go back to the hotel. How about we call around eight tonight?”
“That sounds fine.”
“If you need anything at all, if you’re lonely, or…” My mom appears unable to produce words.
“I’ll talk to you tonight, and I’ll see you in the morning,” I reply gently but firmly.
Putting a hand to her mouth, my mother nods as my dad navigates her from the room. I let my head fall back and close my eyes.
“I always knew you were an attention seeker. Although, I never thought you’d go this far. Who orchestrates getting lost for a little media time?”
My eyes pop open to the sight of an elfin woman with choppy reddish-brown hair and a wide smile. She wears a pink and red striped shirt and lime green shorts with boots. I haven’t seen her for a couple years, but I’d know her style anywhere.
“Opal.” The smile that bends my mouth is immediate and genuine.
“Bennie!” She lunges for me, wrapping her arms around me and squeezing to the point where I fear for my life. Opal Allen, my grade school friend, pulls back to meet my eyes. With a twinkle in hers, she declares, “I saw you on the news. Did you know you’re famous?”
“Not as famous as you. Thanks for the comics you sent a while back. They’re great.”
Opal shrugs, rocking on her heels. She pats my shoulder, her gaze intent. “I’m glad you’re not dead.”
The smile grows. “I’m glad too.” I shift on the bed until I’m sitting up more. “What are you doing in Illinois and how did you get here so quickly?”
“We flew out from North Dakota this morning. Primarily, I came to see you, but since I’m here, I’ve been showing off Blake to basically everyone.” Opal turns, her body humming with anticipation.
“‘Mr. Sunshine’,” I murmur, for the first time noticing the man standing in the doorway, quiet and motionless. His eyes are glued to us, noting every look or smile we share.
“Yep. ‘Mr. Sunshine’ in the flesh. Isn’t he hot?” Opal says huskily, her tone appreciative.
I lift an eyebrow at Blake at the same time he does. “Definitely.”
Opal laughs at that; Blake scowls.
Blake steps into the room, his presence not exactly tense but definitely not comfortable. I would call him wary. Sporting ripped jeans, black boots, and a purple ‘Skittles’ T-shirt, he looks like a perfect match to Opal. His eyes are dark enough to look black in the low light. He nods. “Blake.”
I point to myself. “Ben.”
“Are you okay, really?” Opal asks quietly, grabbing my hand with both of hers.
“Yes.”
Opal studies me, finally releasing my hand after a drawn-out pause. “You’ll tell me about her when you’re ready.”
I flinch. “What?”
“Whoever’s put that look in your eyes. You’ll tell me about her when you’re ready.”
I turn my gaze to Blake, but he only shrugs. I meet Opal’s eyes. “I will.”
“All right, Ben.” Opal smooths the lines from my forehead. “We’re staying near Chicago for a few days. I’ll call before we leave the city. Maybe we can do lunch somewhere?”
“You bet.”
Blake reaches over, offering a calloused hand. We shake, and he nods again before moving toward the door.
Opal gives me one last hug. I enfold her frame in my arms, missing my friend even as she stands before me. It’s been too long. I tell her that. Out of every friend I’ve had through the years, she is the best one I’ve had. She was a terror when we were younger, and we didn’t even get to be friends all that long before she was sent to a different foster home in a new area. Even as she told outrageous tales even I knew to not believe and seemed to want to get into trouble, Opal was authentic.
“I know.” Opal steps back. “Let’s make more of an effort to see each other, all right?”
“Want to do some traveling?” I halfway joke.
Blake’s eyes shoot to me.
“Maybe,” Opal answers slowly. “You’re not thinking Australia, are you?”
“No.” I frown. “Why?”
“No reason. Okay, Blake, let’s get some food. ‘Bye, Ben, love you!” Opal pulls her boyfriend from the room.
It takes a couple minutes after Opal and Blake leave to get my head straight. I’m flooded with thoughts of Avery. I inhale and exhale slowly, suddenly nervous. It isn’t long before I’m flinging off the sheet and tugging on a pair of athletic shorts under the hospital gown I was told I had to wear. Rolling my IV stand with me, I cross the room and enter the hallway.
A nurse stops on her way past, looking harried. “Can I help you?”
“I want to check on…my friend.” Calling Avery a friend doesn’t feel right, but nothing else does either. What is she to me? For a moment, she was my world, the center of my focus.
“You should be in bed,” she scolds.
“I won’t be long.”
She doesn’t budge.
“She’s all alone in there. Please. I want to make sure she’s okay,” I beseech earnestly.
Expression softening, the nurse nods once. “Make it quick.”
The door is open a crack and I knock before carefully pushing it the rest of the way open. My socks make a shuffling sound as I move toward the bed. “Avery?”
She slowly sits up and turns her head, silently watching me approach. Her face is clean, her freckles more noticeable than ever. The few scratches Avery has aren’t deep and shouldn’t scar. She has a similar IV bag attached to a tube with a needle in her hand. I almost passed out when they put the needle in the back of my hand and blood spurted out. I bet Avery took the whole thing much better than I did.
