by Suzanne Snow
‘For your Old Fashioneds. I did think about giving you the espresso but just coffee as a gift seemed a bit mean.’
‘It’s wonderful and very thoughtful of you to bother.’
‘My pleasure. It was either that or the Grinch socks I saw today, and I was so tempted by the socks.’
Tom leant across, silencing her with a light kiss he placed on her mouth. ‘Shame,’ he murmured against her lips. ‘I might’ve even have worn them for you.’
‘With what?’
He drew back and she missed him the moment he moved. ‘Anything you like.’
‘Oh, now I’m really wishing I’d bought them.’ Olivia felt as if she was bubbling over with the fun they were having, the expectation hovering between them.
‘Maybe you can give me them for Christmas.’
Her thoughts darted ahead, to bringing her dad home here for the last time. To thoughts of leaving Thorndale and returning to her silent, city apartment, and Tom moving somewhere else. She already knew she was going to miss him. After that first evening in the pub she had never expected to see him again, and yet he had found a way into her heart and this home in a way she wouldn’t have believed possible in such a short time.
‘What would you really like for Christmas, Tom?’
‘More of this might be nice.’ He lifted a hand, indicating their almost empty champagne glasses, the fire, the twinkling Christmas tree and the games not yet put away, the gift-wrapped bottle of bourbon. ‘More time with you.’
‘I can’t wrap that up for you and put it under a tree.’ Olivia’s eyes were clinging to his, trying not to tell him everything she felt, not yet.
‘Pity,’ he murmured. He stretched out a leg, touching his foot against hers. ‘I’d so enjoy unwrapping you.’
‘I’m starting to realise how good you are with words. Who knew?’ She moved so that her foot was on his leg, sliding to his knee, aware of him watching.
‘Thanks for that. Next you’ll be telling me I could make a career out of it.’ He pointed to the copy of A Christmas Carol she’d left on the sofa last night. ‘Shall we?’
‘I’d love to.’
Tom stood up and she joined him on the sofa, aware that he was in no rush either to hurry their evening into something different, happy to draw out the anticipation for as long as possible. He shifted until she was nestled in the crook of his arm, the book in his right hand, her feet curled beneath her.
‘Are you sure you won’t fall asleep?’
‘Certain.’ She was far too aware of him against her for that. His head tucked on top of hers as he began to read about the second of the spirits and Scrooge waking in the middle of a snore, which made her smile and Tom chuckle.
When he had finished reading about Scrooge’s vision of a phantom coming towards him, they were still sitting in the same position and Olivia moved first, leaning into Tom as she stretched. ‘That was beautiful. Thank you.’ Her hand was still covering his and she lifted it, bringing it to her mouth to kiss his fingers, letting her lips linger for a moment against his skin. ‘You really do have the most gorgeous voice.’
‘So you keep telling me. Thank you.’
‘I can’t help it if I find you attractive, can I?’
‘Not just the voice, then?’
‘Well, it’s probably your best feature. Argh!’ She wriggled away as his hand shot to her ribs, trying to tickle her.
‘What, so you haven’t noticed my devastating charm and handsome looks before? I got that from a review.’
‘No, sorry. Are you sure it was yours?’ Olivia turned around until she was facing him, kneeling on the sofa. ‘You’re not bad looking, I’ll give you that, but as for the charm…’
Tom pulled her onto his lap and she was laughing until she saw the intensity of his look, scattering her senses as her pulse leapt. He tilted his head, his mouth close to hers as he held her shoulders.
‘Liv, it’s never really been just friends for me, much as I tried to make it stay that way.’ His words were quiet, loaded with uncertainty and truthfulness. She had seen it time and again these past weeks, his eyes confessing one thing whilst his words had teased her, laughed with her, told her something else.
‘Me neither. I thought I could keep it that way too.’ Her breath caught at the expression of longing on his face.
They’d both tried to hold onto sense and instead had found the beginnings of a life together, sharing this house day by day. She had tried not to let him in, to make a place for him in the life she had thought she preferred to live alone, and it was too late, now, for that. He was already a part of her world and Olivia wasn’t sure she wanted to go back to the one she didn’t share with him.
‘So. What happens next?’
She inched nearer to brush her lips across his cheek, whisper against his ear. ‘You’re the novelist, you work it out.’
‘I told you, I wouldn’t write a scene quite like this. My detective’s doing his best not to get involved with his bookseller but she’s really getting under his skin.’
‘I want to hear more about that.’ Her lips had reached Tom’s mouth now and she felt his hands tightening on her, holding her close. ‘How exactly?’
‘I’m not telling you.’
Olivia let her fingers drift across his shoulder, tracing the shape of the muscles she felt beneath his shirt. ‘Show me then?’
Tom’s hand went to her neck and he pulled her in for the kiss they had both been waiting for. It was better than before. This time there was understanding and deeper feeling, as well as that same explosion of passion finding them again. She was on his lap, her hands roaming across his chest. She felt herself falling into the sensation of being held by him, their breathing in between urgent kisses rapid and rough.
Her fingers were undoing the buttons on his shirt and he helped her to tug it off, tossing it to the sofa. Her gaze fell to take in his firm chest, dark hair scattered with grey reaching to his flat stomach and disappearing beneath the waistband of his jeans. He was watching her looking at him and she took her time, slowly reaching out to touch him until his hands went impatiently to her back, tugging her against him.
‘Should we take this upstairs?’ Olivia heard the catch in her voice as he reached around her shoulders for the zip on her dress. She felt him smile against her neck, his mouth teasing as he kissed his way to her ear to murmur against it.
‘Definitely. This sofa is way too uncomfortable for a second night.’
Reluctantly she untangled herself from him and stood up hurriedly, offering her hand. He took it, kissing her again as he walked her backwards to the hall. He let her go as they reached the staircase, the zip on her dress already down. She held the dress together for a second, and then let it slide from her shoulders, his eyes following as it reached the carpet. She stepped away from the gathering of navy material at her feet, leaving her in lilac and lace, his gaze roaming back up her body to pause at her mouth.
‘I’ve been thinking about taking that off you all evening.’ Tom surprised her as he scooped her into his arms and set off up the stairs. ‘You’re stunning.’
‘So are you.’ Olivia couldn’t keep herself from touching him, exploring his chest, tracing a line of kisses across his shoulder. ‘My room or yours?’
‘Not the landing? I still haven’t forgotten about you lying in wait for me that night.’ There was laughter in his voice even as his heated gaze scorched her. ‘Both.’
Chapter Nineteen
Olivia had darted downstairs for her phone during the early hours whilst Tom was asleep, always mindful of Ellie and her travels. She’d left it beside the bed and answered without thinking when it rang in the morning. He had disappeared, promising to return with breakfast, and Olivia was already missing him. She had never woken in this room before and she stared at the unfamiliar view, the corniced ceilings, floral wallpaper and the faded curtains closed against a view of the garden.
‘So it had better be a good one. Your excuse.’ Gina sounded
sharp and disgruntled down the line.
‘What?’ Olivia was still feeling dreamy, and she shifted the phone to check the time. Ten thirty! How had she slept so long? She had no more words as her friend’s clear voice resounded in her ear.
‘For missing our Christmas brunch. Because I’m guessing that’s what you’re doing as I’m sitting here in The Courtyard, all nice and cosy, and you’re, well, where exactly? Not here, obviously. I’m thinking it’s work?’
‘I’m so sorry, Gina, I had no idea it was this time already.’ Olivia yawned, it swiftly turning into a laugh as Gina hurried on.
‘Are you where I think you are, Ms Bradshaw? You sound as though you’ve just woken up. Have you and that gorgeous man finally sorted yourselves out? Really?’
The gorgeous man himself appeared in the bedroom, barefoot and carrying a tray, wearing his unbuttoned shirt above jeans. Olivia drank in the sight, noticing the way Tom was looking at her as he put the tray down beside the bed. He leaned over to kiss her and she tried to bat him away, stifling a giggle she hoped Gina wouldn’t hear as the duvet slipped from her shoulders.
‘You are!’ Gina was managing to sound both astonished and delighted, and her throaty chuckle quickly followed. ‘Well don’t drag yourself away on my account. It’s only forty miles or so that I’ve driven to see you.’
‘I’m so sorry.’ Olivia thought rapidly. ‘Can you give me half an hour or so, please? And then I’ll be over, I promise.’
‘Of course. Now we’ve got a whole new topic to talk about. I’ll order you a large drink, you’re going to need it.’
Olivia swiftly ended the call now that Tom had discarded the shirt and jeans and was back in bed with her. She couldn’t stay, couldn’t let her friend down a second time and she laughingly tried to evade his hands as he reached for her.
‘Morning. You look beautiful.’
She wasn’t trying too hard to escape at all now and gave up entirely when his hand brushed the hair from her face, and he dropped a kiss on her mouth.
‘Thank you.’ She felt it too, basking in the gentleness in his face and the glint in his eyes. Her hand cupped his cheek and she ran her fingers over the roughness she found there, loving being able to touch him like this. ‘I’m sure I’ve got stubble rash.’
‘Not from where I’m sitting. But we could try again.’
‘I can’t, I’m blaming you entirely for making me forget the brunch I should be having right now with Gina.’ Olivia still couldn’t believe she had neglected her friend, her body filled with an easy languor that was new.
‘Oh, so now it’s my fault?’ Tom’s expression was roguish as he leant back against the pillows, hands behind his head, the duvet around his waist. ‘You were in no hurry to leave, as I recall.’
‘Totally your fault, I would’ve been up hours ago if you hadn’t…’ She was half out of the bed as he made a playful lunge for her. ‘I’ve got to go, I need to have a shower. I am sorry about breakfast.’ She looked at the tempting tray of goodies he had brought them, none as enticing as him in this moment. ‘I’m so hungry.’
‘Still?’
She was smiling as she pulled on Tom’s shirt. Her dress must be at the bottom of the stairs where she had left it. ‘Well…’
‘Should I join you in the shower?’
She crossed the room, brushing her lips across his mouth and relishing the look in his eyes as they held hers, his hand light on her face. ‘No. I think we both know that ancient contraption isn’t made for two. And you’d only distract me again.’
‘Enjoy your brunch. I’ll be in the shop and if you’re still hungry afterwards I can probably help with that.’
Olivia darted from the room before temptation proved too difficult to resist. She was out of the house and hugging Gina twenty-five minutes later, a grin plastered on her face that wasn’t only due to seeing her best friend again. They separated to sit down. The Courtyard restaurant and studios were packed with Christmas shoppers, cheery seasonal music adding to the festive atmosphere.
‘I’m so sorry to have kept you waiting.’
‘It’s fine.’ Gina was staring at Olivia with an expression full of amusement. ‘I was glad to get out of the house and we both know it’s most unlike you to forget an appointment. So. What’s going on?’
It hit Olivia then, the tumult of emotions running through her after the freezing dash down the lane, in the quite literally cold light of day. Happiness tinged with anxiety, fear that she was repeating a past mistake. ‘I’m really not sure.’ She took a gulp of the promised Bloody Mary already waiting. ‘We’re friends, Gina, and we get on really well. Then last night, things changed.’
‘Changed how? Apart from the obvious, of course. That I don’t need to hear.’
‘It was Tom’s birthday. I gave him a little party and we went from there.’ Olivia thought of his life, the details he had shared and trusted her with. ‘He’s not really used to celebrating birthdays and we both enjoyed it.’
‘So what are you going to do about it, Liv? I haven’t seen you this lit up since forever. Even Jared didn’t make you this dewy-eyed and forgetful, and you were crazy about him.’
‘I have absolutely no idea.’ Olivia knew she sounded dejected. A waiter was at the table to take their order, collecting menus and promising to return with water. ‘It’s just so complicated.’
‘Why?’ Gina sounded perfectly reasonable as she started on her non-alcoholic Christmas cocktail. ‘You like each other, you’re both single, you’re both here.’
‘I have to get the house cleared, make sure Dad’s settled, go back to Manchester and Tom will have to find somewhere…’
‘Find somewhere what? Go on.’ Gina was getting impatient.
‘Find somewhere to live,’ Olivia finished tamely. ‘He’ll probably be going back to London in the new year.’
‘So? It’s only a couple of hours from Manchester to London. And does it have to be London? You told me he was writing again, surely he can do that from anywhere? Even your apartment.’ Gina tilted her glass to Olivia. ‘Why are you creating problems where they don’t exist? Or is there something you’re not telling me?’
Olivia took a second mouthful of her drink, waving at Sam Stewart, who was over on another table sharing coffee with a friend who also had a child on her lap.
‘Come on. What are you not saying?’
Olivia felt the euphoria of last night already disappearing, the reality of her and Tom’s separate circumstances pressing in. Her head was starting to ache, the champagne, lack of sleep and the anxiety chasing away the bliss, leaving dread in its wake. ‘I’m worried I’m doing it again,’ she mumbled. ‘Leaping in with both feet, falling for someone who’s going to walk right out of my life and leave me behind. I barely know Tom, not really.’
‘Liv, you don’t know he’s going to walk out. Why would you assume it’s an end and not a beginning?’ Gina paused while the waiter placed a bottle of water and glasses on the table, thanking him. ‘You’re older and wiser now, it wouldn’t be fair to judge Tom against Jared.’
‘Older yes, I don’t feel much wiser right now.’
‘Look, lots of us had a Jared in our lives, someone we were crazy about who made the world shine a bit brighter for a while, and you’ve told me before you never really expected it to last. You married him on a whim and at least you have Ellie. This isn’t the same. Or at least, it doesn’t have to be.’
‘What if Tom tells me it’s a mistake, Gina?’ Olivia swallowed the sudden lump in her throat as she felt the fear running across her skin like a shiver. ‘I don’t want to go through all that again. Dating someone and not getting involved is fine, especially with my workload, but this could be so much worse. The upheaval, the effort. The end.’
Gina was sympathetic. ‘It’s only natural you’d want to be cautious. I haven’t forgotten what it was like for you with Jared, him off living his life and you left at home to pick up the pieces and keep the show on the road.’
‘Yeah.’ Olivia pulled a face at the irony of Gina’s remark. ‘So he literally could be on the road. Just not the one I was on with Ellie.’
‘Sorry.’ Gina rolled her eyes. ‘Poor choice of words but you know what I mean.’
‘Jared and I were always heading in different directions and in too much of a rush at the start to see it. I thought I’d cured myself of being impulsive, especially where relationships are concerned. And now it feels like it might be happening again.’
‘You’re not really saying you don’t want to see Tom again after Christmas, are you?’ Gina couldn’t disguise her surprise. ‘Give yourselves a chance, Liv. Take a look in the mirror. You’re glowing and we both know how rarely something like this comes along. Even forgetting all the fame stuff, which doesn’t seem to be a big problem.’
‘It could be.’ Olivia sighed. ‘It’s not as though we’re really going anywhere, we’re almost always in the house on our own. It’s pretence, a pause in our regular lives.’
‘What is?’
‘Staying at my dad’s. We’re playing at house; normal life doesn’t look like this for either of us. I’ve been trying to encourage him to be a bit more open about his writing and if his book takes off then he could be right back there with all the attention, and he won’t have room for me. And I’m already too busy, I don’t have the time to give to a relationship. I don’t need someone texting me every hour wanting to know when I’ll be home and what’s for dinner. Wanting me to pick up after them and keep their life in order.’
Olivia felt disloyal for even saying the words. Somehow she had a picture of how life might be with Tom in it, and she knew it wouldn’t be the one she had just described. They both liked their space and their time alone, and when they came together it was fun and easy, as if they’d been sharing together for years rather than weeks. And then, last night. Another step and one already making her feelings for him even more complex.
‘So you don’t do it. You lay down the ground rules at the start and you stick to them. It doesn’t sound like he’d be so bad to live with.’
‘You make it sound so simple.’ Could it be, really, for her and Tom? Olivia felt a flicker of hope amongst the doubt, and it wasn’t easy to dismiss the sense in Gina’s words. Maybe it would be foolish to assume she and Tom couldn’t last beyond Christmas. Maybe she was rushing, but what if it was in the wrong direction? Away from him when she should be giving them a chance.
