by T. L. Walker
"I’ll go with you,"she said."I know who you’re probably leaving behind. I’d rather not take my chances with them."
"If she joins us, you have to promise not to harm her," Mrs. Downing announced. I sighed.
"That’s our policy. Unless she gives us cause to take her out – trying to run away, hurting one of my people – she’ll be under our protection. But we come first, understood? Not just before her, but before any of you who come back to the zoo with us. And Monika here probably won’t be the only one who comes back with us as a prisoner. You have to trust me that they’ll be taken care of to the best of our ability, and I have to trust you to be honest about who can come back with us as friends."
The nurse leaned forward, an earnest look on her face."You believed that we would be on your side, and we were – but still, you didn’t have to help us. You could have killed us, or locked us up with the others, but you didn’t. We won’t forget that, especially if you can bring us somewhere safe."
"Nowhere is really safe,"I pointed out."And we’ll need as many of your supplies as we can carry...and even that may not be enough to keep everyone fed. We’ll need to continue to work together."
"Sounds a hell of a lot better than what we had here," Dominic piped in.
"Yeah, well, we’ll see about that, I guess. You guys should try to rest up, too. We have a long walk ahead of us tomorrow, and it won’t be an easy one."
Despite the fact that all three of them found a place to lay down, only Mrs. Downing and Dominic eventually fell asleep. I stayed where I was, all of my attention on Monika, who was stretched out on her back not ten feet from where I sat. Her eyes never closed, but just as mine started to – against my will, of course – she spoke.
"Did she say anything when she died?"
"You really want to know?"
"Yes." There was a finality to her tone that I couldn’t ignore.
"She’d been bitten, badly, but she was still trying to fight. I was the one who took care of that – of her. She was relieved to hear that you were safe. She didn’t want you to see her injured, and I believe she also didn’t want you to see her as a zed. She asked me to make it quick, and I did."
Silence. The minutes crawled by, and although I couldn’t hear anything but the deep breathing of those who were sleeping, I somehow knew that Monika was crying.
"Thank you," she finally said, her voice quavering.
"For which part?"
"I don’t know,"she admitted."Maybe all of it." And then she rolled over onto her left side, facing the wall, and that was that.
When I knew I couldn’t stay awake any longer, I gently shook Mike awake. He still jerked away from me, his hand automatically moving toward the knife that he’d set on the floor next to him, but once he’d blinked the sleep from his eyes and realized that it was just me, he settled down."Can you keep an eye on things for a while, and get me up before sunrise?" I asked.
He cleared his throat and blinked hard, looking around the room."Yeah,"he finally said."Yeah, of course."
"Thanks." I flashed him what I hoped at least looked like a genuine smile, and within minutes of settling down into the corner he’d occupied, I was asleep. Unfortunately, it seemed like only a few more minutes had passed when I heard his voice again.
"Charlie. Charlie, it’s almost sunrise. Please wake up."
"Hmm?"I mumbled, reaching up to rub my eyes."Almost sunrise?"
"I’ve been trying to wake you up for a few minutes. I was afraid to startle you..."
"S’fine,"I assured him sleepily before craning my head to locate the others. They were already up, Mrs. Downing and Dominic standing together while Monika perched on the edge of the desk, wringing her hands nervously. I dragged myself to my feet."Mike, Mrs. Downing, Monika, you stay here. Dominic, I need your help with Luke."
The kid looked a bit sick at the thought, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave him and the nurse and the girl alone together. He approached me hesitantly while I unlocked the closet door. The stench overwhelmed us at first, but when I held my breath and stepped inside, Dominic followed my lead. Together we dragged Luke’s body – no, the zed’s body – out into the classroom."We’ll have to carry him outside. You up for it?"
Dominic grimaced, but nodded all the same.
"Charlie, wait!"Mike said, rushing to my side."Please...I just...let me say goodbye."
I reached out and took hold of his hand."Of course." Mike fell to his knees and grasped the zed’s shoulder. I couldn’t hear what he said; I doubted that I wanted to, anyway. Soon he stood and backed away, his hand shaking.
"I’ll be back soon," I promised. Dominic and I dragged the body out through the door, which I then locked behind us. I wrapped my arms around the zed’s chest, Dominic took its feet, and together we staggered to the entrance hall.
A few zeds had stumbled in during the night, but it was the work of a moment to set down our burden and take care of them. I grabbed the shovel that I’d left leaning against the wall and laid it on top of the body before we picked it back up and brought it to the grave."Right here,"I said, lowering Luke’s shoulders to the ground. Dominic followed suit, gentle as could be, and I nodded my thanks."Keep watch for me. Please."
I took my time going through Luke’s – no, the zed’s – pockets, but in the end I only found a small notebook. I shoved it into the back of my jeans and then, before I could waste any more time, I rolled the body into the grave. With one quick glance to make sure that Dominic was still keeping an eye on things, I took up the shovel and filled in the hole, using the flat of it to pack down the earth when I was done. Then I snapped the head off the damn thing and shoved it into the ground at the top of the grave. The handle I now wielded like a spear, only planning on passing it off if I found my bat before we left.
The sun had broken over the horizon, though it was still early enough to hide behind the rolling hills and the copses of trees that dotted them."We need to get going."
Dominic followed me obediently, and once we were back with the others I gave my orders."Mike, bind Monika. You and Dominic will take her, Virginia, and Daniel to the front entrance. Keep an eye on her, but try to collect as many weapons as you can. Mrs. Downing, you come with me. We’ll gather up who we can and use them to carry supplies. Everyone carries something, got it? Even the ones we don’t quite trust. We need to bring everything we possibly can back to the zoo."
It took about an hour, but finally we were all gathered in the entryway. Even the handful of kids whose hands were tied behind their backs were carrying packs of supplies, but there was so much we had to leave behind...and I knew it would be a long time before anyone would be willing to return to the school. What was worse, we had to secure Virginia and Daniel to the cart, knowing that eventually the thing would have to be carried at certain points. It would hinder us, but I couldn’t just leave them behind.
No matter what I told myself, leaving Luke here was bad enough.
We made one hell of a parade, with Mike leading the way, a few kids behind him, followed by Mrs. Downing and several more people. Dominic had the third group, while I brought up the rear with Monika and a couple of students that Mrs. Downing had sworn were trustworthy. The rest of them were in the middle of the line with the cart that carried Daniel and Virginia, but I was on edge, and for good reason – I knew that we were making too much noise, and I still couldn’t bring myself to trust anyone from the school completely.
Not even Mrs. Downing or Dominic.
But in the end, we encountered next to no trouble. We ran into a couple small groups of zeds and lost a few kids along the way – two of the ones we’d tied up, and one of the boys Mrs. Downing had vouched for – so of course I was relieved when we finally reached the road that led to the zoo’s gate.
Until I realized that Lauren was the one guarding it. I rushed to the front of the group and with one look from me, everyone stopped. I walked up to the bars and before Lauren could say anything, I said,"Please let us in."
"Charlie...where’s Daniel?"
"Lauren, please. Open the gate."
Her mouth fell open and she began to cry."No...no..."
"I need you to open the gate. I brought his body back, but you need to let us inside."
She finally nodded, fumbling with the key ring but eventually getting the padlock open and yanking the chain away. I slowly pushed the gate inwards, gathering the key ring from Lauren as I did so, leaving just a few feet for everyone to filter through. Once they were all inside, I made quick work of shutting, chaining, and locking the gate behind me, trying to ignore Lauren’s outcry and subsequent sobs as she found the cart and bent over Daniel’s body.
I stepped forward and laid a hand on her shoulder."I need to get these people to headquarters and lock some of them up. Can you stay here with Daniel and Virginia? Once I take care of all this bullshit, I’ll tell you everything."
Lauren stared up at me, her expression blank even though tears continued to run down her cheeks. Once again she nodded, and I took that to mean that she would be okay here for at least a few minutes. Together Mike and I herded the rest of the people from the school back into the zoo – to our headquarters, our little sanctuary.
Ethan was guarding the door with Holden by his side."Where’s my mom?" he asked immediately.
"She didn’t make it," I admitted, somehow knowing that it was better to be straight with him from the start.
"Who are they?"
"Some of them are...captives. Some are friends. Is Richard inside?"
"Yes, in his office, with Mabel."
Mike stepped forward."I’ll come back and take over here in a few minutes, and you can go see your mom."
Ethan nodded."Okay."
Mike went in first, and Holden watched me as I ushered the kids in."Stay here, boy," I said. He let loose with a pathetic whine, but remained at Ethan’s side all the same.
"Take what these ones are carrying, get them into the cell, and keep an eye on them. I’ll take the rest to Richard," I told Mike.
What followed was nothing short of a mess. Mrs. Downing, Dominic, and the handful of kids they’d vouched for cringed in the corner of Richard’s office as he freaked out about how many people I’d brought back. Meanwhile Mabel huddled in the corner and watched everything with wide, fearful eyes. I hated what we were doing to her, but it was obvious that sometimes Richard’s wrath knew no bounds – and this was one of them.
"We can’t take care of these people!"
"I brought back supplies!"
"And I can tell you that it won’t be enough. What were you thinking?"
"Oh, I don’t know, that some people deserve a chance to live?"
"Like Luke did? Or Daniel? Virginia?Jesus, Charlie."
"Listen. Once we’ve buried Daniel and Virginia, I’ll go out and look for supplies, okay? I have half a tank of gas in my car. I can cover a lot of distance."
"I’ll go with you."
I turned around; Mike was in the doorway, and I had no idea how much he’d heard."No, you won’t. You’ll be needed here."
"Screw that. You decided to trust some of these people, and anyway, Richard and Ethan and Lauren can take care of themselves. We can go back to the school, go wherever, but I’m coming with you no matter what."
"We’ll talk about that later. You need to relieve Ethan so that he can come with Lauren and I to bury Virginia and Daniel. Richard, can you lock up this room?"
He rolled his eyes and nodded.
"Good. The people from the school will stay here. We’ll take Mabel with us; I’m sure her mother wants her to be there. Everyone okay with that?"
It didn’t seem like many of them were, especially when Richard and I moved through the group and took all of their weapons. But they didn’t have any choice, and we didn’t either. We locked them in the office, grabbed a couple of shovels from the storage closet, and by the time we made it back outside, Mike was at the door and Ethan had disappeared. Holden was still there, and I bent to scratch him on the head."Stay with Mike. I’ll be back soon, boy, and I won’t leave you again," I promised.
We made our way back to the gate, Richard carrying Mabel while I remained vigilant, wielding a shovel in each hand. When we arrived, Lauren was still kneeling by the cart, clinging to Daniel’s limp hand, while Ethan stood off to the side, an impassive look on his face as he gazed at Virginia."Lauren, you need to take Mabel. Richard and I will get the card and the shovels to the graveyard."
"Graveyard," she repeated softly, her eyes not even focusing on us.
"Lauren. Your daughter," I insisted. She finally looked at me, then at Richard, and struggled to her feet. She reached for Mabel, who practically leapt into her arms, and the five of us made our way up the left-hand path toward Joey’s gravesite.
Richard, Ethan, and Lauren took turns digging while I kept an eye on Mabel. I held her for a while, but she squirmed so much that I had to put her down, and the rest of my time was spent trying to stop her from wandering off. The sun was setting by the time they’d rolled the bodies into their graves and covered them up, at which point I insisted on putting Mabel in Lauren’s arms again. We stood silently, looking down at the fresh mounds of dirt.
"Long story short,"I finally said."Daniel sacrificed himself to take out Jia. Virginia sacrificed herself to take out Bobby. They didn’t have to do these things, but they did, because they were brave, and selfless, and they wanted to keep us safe. Just like Joey. And now they all rest together, hopefully knowing that we are still here, and still safe, because of them."
I didn’t really believe the bit about them resting together and knowing we were safe, but what mattered was that Lauren and Ethan believed it...and, I supposed, Richard as well.
We stood in silence for some time, until finally I knew I couldn’t wait any longer."I’m leaving the zoo."
Lauren choked back a sob, but didn’t look at me. Ethan remained impassive. I saw Richard’s jaw working, and just as I was about to walk away he spoke."We need you here. We don’t know these new people. There’s too many of them, not enough of...of us."
"But you need food, and to be honest, I can’t stay here. Not permanently. Don’t allow them any weapons, keep everything hidden and locked up, and these people will be little to no threat – Ethan, you know what to do."
"Yup."
"When I come back, it will be with supplies. I’ll take my car, I’ll bring Holden so that no one has to watch him. I’m sure I won’t be gone long."
I knew that I was lying, knew that if I returned to the zoo it would be to drop some things off in front of the gate and then be on my way again. I couldn’t stay here – I didn’t belong here.
Truthfully, I don’t belong anywhere.
Again, silence. This time I waited a little longer before finally saying,"I won’t be gone long. Goodbye."
There was no point in saying anything else; I could only hope that they focused on me saying I wouldn’t be gone long, rather than on the finality of the word ‘goodbye’. I turned and headed down the left-hand path, listening for footsteps behind me...footsteps that never came.
I’d hidden some of my own supply caches throughout the zoo, one of which held my car keys, so all I had to do was collect Holden and be on my way. Mike was dozing in the chair by the door to the office building, but jerked awake at my approach.
"Hey."I forced a smile."I’m going to take Holden and keep an eye on the gate for a while. Richard, Lauren, and Mabel are still by the graves. Why don’t you let Mrs. Downing or Dominic keep watch for a while so that you can get some real sleep? Just don’t give them any weapons. I don’t think Richard would like that."
Mike cracked his neck and stretched."Don’t you need to sleep, too?"
"No rest for the weary, kid. I doubt I could sleep, anyway."
"Okay." He gave Holden a scratch behind his ears and then went inside. I knew it wouldn’t be long before someone returned, so I called Holden to me and headed back toward the front of the zoo, collecting my hidde
n supplies along the way. Every time I rounded a bend in the path, I expected to see Ethan or Richard or Lauren and Mabel – or all four of them. But I made it to my car without running into anyone else, and it was the work of a few minutes to store everything inside and get Holden into the backseat. The only thing left was to unlock the gate, let myself out, and then lock it again and toss the key inside. It was the worst part of my plan, but it was all I had.
As I was pulling the chain away from the gate, I heard a shout. Fuck. I could have handled Richard or Lauren – but it was Mike who was running toward me, calling my name. I heard Holden go nuts in the car, whining and clawing at the inside of the door as he tried to get to our friend, but still I refused to turn around and face the kid. I gathered the chain up in my arms and carried it around to the driver’s side of my car, but by the time I’d climbed in and arranged the damn thing in my lap, Mike had reached me.
"What are you doing?!"
I was certain I’d never seen him quite this angry, and there was no point in lying."I’m leaving. I’m going to find supplies, but I’ll only be back to drop them off. I’m done with this place."
"If you’re done with it, then I am too," he announced, running around to the passenger door. Thankfully it was already locked.
"Charlie,"he pleaded, yanking on the handle."Charlie, let me in. Please. I’ve been with you since the beginning – you can’t just leave me here!"
"Yes, I can. You’re safer here than you’ll ever be with me, and Richard needs all the help he can get."
