Robbie’s condo is exactly as I expected— masculine, clean, comfortable. He explains that his sister and mom helped him make it livable, since he had nothing to speak of. Being in the Marines, and then living with his parents for a year, he never had his own belongings.
As he shows me around, I notice small feminine touches and smile. Splashes of color in the artwork on the walls pop, adding warmth to the room. It’s obvious that Robbie decorated the living room himself because the entertainment center and enormous television take up the entire wall.
He tells me to make myself comfortable while he starts dinner and gets us a drink. Pictures of him with family and friends are spread around, and I pick up one of him with six other guys. The only ones I recognize are he and Finn.
“Those guys were in my platoon.” He stands beside me, handing me a glass of wine. “This is Max.”
“It’s a good looking bunch of guys. Bet you all caused havoc when possible.”
“You have no idea. Those guys were the best.” His face clouds with sadness.
“Were?” I question.
“Four of them died.”
My heart hurts for him. I set the picture down and turn to face him, grabbing his hand. “Were they in the same accident you were?”
“Yeah.” He sighs and takes a long pull of his beer.
“You don’t have to, but will you tell me about it? About them?”
He looks at me with a blank stare, and a pit forms in my stomach. Did I push too far? Then his expression changes; he nods. Leading us to the sofa, he sits down and I lean in on my side, my knees touching his thighs. He rubs small circles on my wrist and exhales loudly.
“Do you know anyone in the military, Ember? Specifically, the Marines?”
“No one except for you and Finn.”
“Finn, Max, and I chose the Marines because of Max’s uncle and my dad. In our eyes, those two men were the epitome of badass, and we wanted to be the same. Boot camp almost killed us, but it brought together a group of men I will always be proud to call my friends. A true band of brothers. Sure, the war scared everyone, but with each other by our sides, we knew we could get through anything. Every single one of those guys in the picture was together since the first day of boot camp. The day we stepped off the bus on Parris Island, our bond was formed.
“We reenlisted together. My plan was to be a career Marine. We went on several deployments, but it was only a matter of time we’d get sent to Afghanistan. I still remember having that conversation with my parents. Max, Finn, and I made the call at the same time because we knew our parents would be devastated. As expected, our moms were upset. God, the worst was telling Raven. She was shattered. I’ve never heard her cry so hard in my life. The three of us put her on speakerphone and tried to calm her down. My heart absolutely broke. For one brief second, I regretted being a Marine and putting her through this, but we explained this was what we did. We were trained by some of the best instructors in the world.”
He stops talking and finishes his beer in one swallow. Then his eyes meet mine. “Even the best instructors in the world can’t predict the future,” I say softly and place my hand on his knee.
“That’s the fucking truth. We were deployed for six months. The first four months were fine. We handled our assignments with precision and pride. It was a fucking friendly mission. There were three trucks going into a small town to help with a rebuilding effort. We actually volunteered for it, standing side by side with villagers to give them back some of what they lost. Max stayed behind. A series of roadside bombs took us out. Six men died that day, four of them in that picture.”
Tears flow freely down my cheeks, and I bite my lip trying not to cry openly. My heart breaks for the loss of such great men. He reaches up and runs his thumbs under my eyes. “I’m so sorry, Robbie. That’s awful.”
“I was hurt, almost lost my leg. The pain was excruciating, but I pushed through trying to get to the other men, to help. Lifeless eyes stared at me from all directions, and I was immobile. Finn pulled me from the wreckage by hauling me over his shoulder. He got us about fifteen yards from the burning debris and fell. His stomach had a slice through it from shrapnel. The pain in my leg hit me hard, and when I looked down, I was positive there was nothing to do to save it. But I didn’t care. Death was all around me, and I was breathing. Then there was another small explosion exactly where we had just been.
“I’ve never felt so helpless in my life.”
There’s no way I can stop the sound that escapes. My shoulders shake, and I try deep breathing to keep the sobs from taking over. Images flash through my mind of an injured Robbie lying in the middle of burning wreckage. The fear he must have felt. The pain he endured.
“Hey, come here.” Robbie sets my wine on the coffee table and pulls me into his lap, wrapping me in his arms.
“I don’t even know what to say. You’re so lucky to be alive!” I cry into his neck.
“I know, babe. Every day, I know how lucky I am.”
“What happened next?”
“That’s a bit blurry. At one point, I passed out and woke up in a military hospital. My parents were there. Max was there. Finn was right next to me. The surgeon was able to save my leg, but not without some major scarring. When I was able to get around on a cane, I came home. Finn and I decided to get out of the Corps. It took months of intense physical therapy for my leg to get its full strength, but now it’s completely healed.”
“How did you deal with the loss?”
“I was treated for PTSD until recently. Since I was in the hospital, I missed the funerals, but sent letters to each family and included that picture you were just looking at. I also had a great support system.”
“That is so noble and beautiful.”
“Didn’t and still doesn’t seem like enough. Do you know what ‘got your six’ means?”
“No.”
“It means ‘I’ve got your back’. A lot of people had my six, Ember. I wouldn’t be here with out them.”
We sit in silence for several minutes, me still in his lap, breathing him in and absorbing his words. “I think Finn’s my hero.”
He pulls me up to face him and squints his eyes at me.
“He helped save you, get you to safety.”
“You realize you’re sitting on me, in my arms, crying on my chest, and just called another guy a hero, right?”
I giggle and nod. “You’re a hero, too.”
He grins and rubs his lips against mine. “I like you calling me a hero.”
The timer on the oven goes off, and he stands with me. I try to scramble out of his hold, but he tightens his grip, asking, “What’re you doing?”
“I’m capable of walking.”
“But it’s much more fun to carry you.” He kisses the tip of my nose and sets me down on a barstool.
He serves our plates and smiles widely, the intensity and darkness of the past thirty minutes gone.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything,” he says as he cuts through his chicken.
“What did Raven do, when you were injured?”
He sets his fork and knife down and looks at me seriously. “She lost her shit, absolutely fucking lost it. Mom stayed with me long enough to know I was okay and then went straight to Atlanta to be with RJ. She was inconsolable for days. Charlie, Kendall, and Harper called my mom on the hour with updates. They had to hide her passport to keep her from coming to the hospital. When I was strong enough to talk to her without being sedated, she wept and wailed so loud, I thought she’d bust my eardrum. Finn was in much better shape than I was, so he’d already spoken to her several times. Each time, she cried with him, but when it was me, she bawled. Her howls physically hurt me more than the mangled leg.
“She finished her senior year and then came home to get her MBA to be closer to us. That’s how she got hooked up with Abbi and Ella Collins, then eventually, Declan.”
“You know, Robbie, if I was in that situation and
something as awful happened to Cruz, I’d do the same thing. I’d be sick with worry, shattered beyond belief, and move closer to him.”
“I guess that’s what siblings do.” He goes back to eating, and it’s my turn to put down my silverware.
“No, not all,” I say quietly.
His face gets tight, waiting for me to speak.
“I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt, that’s not what all siblings do. Natalie would rather see me hurt than ever step up and help me. I suffered for years because of her. Still to this day, I wake up in a cold sweat thinking of the shit she put me through. I wanted her to love me, but it never happened. Finally, I realized it never would and moved here with Cruz and Aunt Chloe. It was the best decision I’ve ever made.”
His hand covers mine and squeezes. “You can talk to me, Ember, tell me what happened.”
“I know, Robbie. Give me time. Even after all these years, when I talk about them, it hurts. For so long, I’ve pushed the memories away, hoping to forget.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
God I hope not, I say to myself and resume eating.
The rest of the dinner, we talk about easy subjects, easing the weight of earlier. I help clean the kitchen and then follow him back to the sofa, where we decide on a movie.
“Ember, no pressure at all because this isn’t what I had planned, but will you stay with me tonight? I didn’t get much sleep last night, and after talking about the shit that went down, I want to hold you in my arms.”
I cup his chin and run my thumb over his bottom lip. He touches it with the tip of his tongue and grins. “Of course I’ll stay.”
His eyes flash with relief, and he squeezes my hip.
“I’ll text Cruz, so he doesn’t worry.” I go to my purse and grab my phone to shoot off a quick message. The chocolate flower that I threw in taunts me. Gaining a shred of courage, I take the wrapper off, nibble on it a bit, and then walk back to the couch.
Robbie’s face breaks into a huge grin as he watches me closely.
“It’s dessert,” I say innocently.
“It’ll do for now.” He pulls me down into him. “But hopefully, in the near future, I can choose dessert and it won’t be fucking chocolate flowers.”
Chapter 11
Say Yes
Ember
I look at my phone for the tenth time in an hour and sigh. Still nothing from Robbie. This week has been nothing like last week. He’s been busy with work. We talk every night, but I haven’t seen him since he dropped me off at my house on Sunday morning.
Last Saturday night replays in my mind and I smile at the memory. Robbie was right; chocolate kisses have a certain appeal. We never really watched the movie he picked. Instead, we talked quietly about nothing important, staying on safe and non- emotional topics. I never moved out of his arms, lying partially on his body with my head on his chest. His fingertips brushed across the skin of my lower back where my sweater had risen, leaving tingling sensations in their path.
He yawned a few times, explaining he had been up early for a workout with Finn, so I suggested bed. When we got to his bedroom, he handed me some clothes to sleep in and an extra toothbrush, then left to lock up. I crawled into his massive bed and tried to figure out which side to lie on. When he walked back in a few minutes later, already changed into sleep pants, I started to get shy. He was shirtless, and I was able to truly appreciate his sculpted physique. Literally every muscle was defined and firm. My fingers twitched to touch each ridge. I mentally chastised myself for missing this last week when he spent the night with me.
“Which side of the bed do you like?” I asked.
“You mean I have a choice?”
“What does that mean?”
“The last time I slept with you, I had a sliver of the bed while you spread out. You’re a tiny thing, but when you fall asleep hard, you take up a lot of room.”
“Fine, I’ll take this side.” I huffed and used two of his pillows to put a barrier down the middle of the mattress. “I’ll try not to roll into you.”
He looked at the lumps and started laughing. “Babe, move that shit now. I want you lying on top of me. Once I get my leg situated, you can have all the room you want.”
His tone was playful and I liked the way it made me feel. He turned on the enormous TV and propped his left leg on a firm cushion.
“Robbie,” I whispered. “Can I see your leg?”
He squirmed uncomfortably and then knifed up and swung his leg around.
I gently eased the flannel fabric up and noticed the scarring start right above his ankle. It covered mostly the back of his lower leg, but there was also a surgical scar that rounded his shin. My fingers skimmed the pitted flesh up on his calf until the skin turned soft and normal. Even after all this time, the wound was evident and the hair hadn’t grown all the way back.
I stared at it as if it was the eighth wonder of the world. Without thinking, I leaned in and kissed along the outer edges.
“Jesus Christ, what are you doing?” His muscles tightened and he clutched the back of my neck.
“I know you may think I’m crazy, and possibly morbid, but this scar has a beauty to it. Now that I know the story behind it, I’m attached to it. To you, it brings bad memories and terrible images, but to me, it’s a symbol of bravery, nobility, and endurance. I may not have been in a war zone, but I know about survival. My marks are inside, Robbie, but they are still ugly. To me, this isn’t ugly. This is a sign of true survival.”
He exhaled loudly, holding my stare, and then surprised me by yanking me to him. His kiss started out soft, but turned deeper, hotter, and intense. We fed off each other for a while, until I pulled away panting. The look on his face was hungry, almost primal.
“Ember, thank you for making something so horrendous into something special. My skin still prickles from your lips touching my broken flesh.”
I blushed and curled into him while he adjusted his body back into a laying position. “Now, how about you fall asleep on me, and then you can spread out like an eagle on the rest of the bed later?”
“I’ll try to stay to myself.”
“What’s the fun in that?” he joked.
True to form, I fell asleep and woke up the next morning spread across his entire bed. He had already gotten up and made coffee, so when I joined him in the kitchen, he smirked at me. We talked a bit before I got dressed and he took me home. When I kissed him goodbye on my doorstep, I felt like our whole relationship had changed.
“Earth to Ember!” Cruz shakes his finger in my face, bringing me out of my daze.
“What?” I snap.
“Are you in another Robbie dream?”
“Maybe. Just wondering why I haven’t heard from him today.”
His eyes squint and then turn suspicious. “You will. Now, can we close this shit down? Alex and I have plans tonight.”
“What are you hiding?”
“Nothing. Ready to get home. You aren’t the only one with a cute guy waiting for you.”
“What do you mean, waiting for me?”
“Shit.” He disappears in the dressing rooms. “Nothing. Forget I said anything.”
“No!” I walk to him with my hands on my hips.
“Don’t ask me questions, Little Star.”
My eyes narrow at him. “Fine, but I’m leaving you to close by yourself if you don’t tell me.”
He nods, not meeting my glare, and I walk out back to my car. My phone dings with a text and there’s a flutter in my stomach when I see it’s Robbie.
Robbie: Doesn’t red wine go better with steak?
Me: Yes
Robbie: There are hundreds of reds- what do you like?
Me: Cabernet
Robbie: I’ll be at your house in an hour, and I’m bringing dinner.
As I drive home, my brain is full of all things Robbie. Times like this, I wish I had a set of close girlfriends to dissect and compartmentalize my feelings. I don’t know much abou
t him, but what I do know makes me feel safe. Without ever saying anything, he’s given me a small sense of confidence I’ve never felt before. Being around him is easy for me; nothing is forced or awkward.
Not that I have a lot of experience in dating at all. Cruz was right; I chose guys that had absolutely no chance of long-term potential, but I did it to prove to myself I could date again after Natalie tore my self-esteem to shreds over and over as I was growing up. Now, things are different. She’s not around to kill my hope with Robbie, so I find myself dreaming of a future with him.
When I walk through the door, I rush around, straightening a bit and changing quickly. Cruz and Alex come in a little later and give me a small wave before going into Cruz’s room.
A blur of black flashes across the front window, and I go to see what it is. My eyes grow wide and my heart lurches to my stomach as I watch Robbie climb off a shiny black and chrome motorcycle. He’s wearing worn jeans that mold to his hips and curve around his ass. When he pulls off the helmet, the longer hair on top is spiked and unruly until he runs his hands through it. If I didn’t already think he’s the sexiest man I’ve ever met, this sight would confirm it. Watching him ride up on a motorcycle, looking like he stepped off the pages of an ultra badass magazine, sets my body on fire.
He opens some sort of bags perched on the back wheel and starts pulling out plastic grocery bags.
“Are you just going to drool, or open the door and offer to help?” Cruz sneaks up behind me.
I give him an evil glare but rush to offer my assistance. Robbie’s already on the porch when I open the door, and his lazy grin sends a thrill up my spine. He comes in and stops long enough to kiss my cheek, then proceeds to the kitchen.
Cruz and Alex help him unload the groceries as I try to form a sentence. Inwardly, I want to cringe when my mouth blurts, “You have a bike.”
All three men look at me, and Robbie’s lips curl into an amused grin. “Yeah, seems so.”
Cruz mumbles something about me being ‘obviously observant’, and Alex pops him on the arm.
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