by Ruth Gogoll
And where was the best place to hide a grain of sand named Sonja? In a sea of women that washed across the sand and covered everything.
~*~*~*~
“Guess who?”
Two hands covered Kim’s eyes from behind.
“Andrea, Carla, Melanie, Sophie –” Kim grinned.
“What, you know so many women you can’t tell them apart anymore?” a disappointed voice complained. The face that belonged to it pushed its way into Kim’s field of view.
“Wait, what’s your name again? I’ll think of it in a second.” Kim furrowed her brows mightily, as if she had to concentrate very hard.
“You’re impossible.” Jennifer laughed and sat down at Kim’s table. “You’re here early. You don’t usually come until later.”
“I didn’t have to work so late today.”
“Ah,” Jennifer replied. “Well, it’s about time you started paying more attention to having fun and not just work.”
“Oh, it’s not that bad. True, I usually come later, but I do come.”
“You don’t say . . .” Jennifer propped her chin in her hand and gave an impish look.
“Yes, that too,” Kim said defiantly. “I’m well taken care of, thank you for asking.”
“Anyone special?”
“N-no.”
“So, still playing the same old game of musical chairs.” Jennifer grinned.
“As do you. Otherwise we probably would’ve become the couple of the century.”
“One night is nice, too. Ours was anyway.” Jennifer smiled in fond recollection.
“Yeah.” Kim didn’t smile. She was thinking about a different night than Jennifer was.
“We just weren’t meant for each other,” Jennifer said. “Instead, we’re best friends now. That’s worth something, too.”
“Sure.”
Jennifer frowned. “You’re acting a little weird. Is something wrong?”
Kim shook her head. “I guess I’m still tired. I was away at a seminar the last few days and just got back today.”
“Interesting seminar?”
“In part.” Not so much the days, but the nights, Kim thought. “It was purely professional. A management seminar. My boss wants to promote me, so to get the promotion I had to do one of these.”
“Your boss wants to promote you and sent you to a management seminar?” Jennifer nodded in appreciation. “Sounds good.”
“Well, yeah . . .” Kim hesitated. “It’s okay.”
“Sounds like you’re not exactly scrambling for the promotion.”
Kim shrugged. “I have no idea what it involves.” And Sonja’s office will then presumably be miles away from mine, she thought.
“But you’ll make more money?” Jennifer looked inquisitive.
“Of course.” Kim nodded. “That, I will.”
“Most people would be satisfied with that, but apparently not you.”
“No.” Kim wanted to drop the subject. “No, I am, really.”
“Really.” Jennifer looked askance at Kim. “Honey, we maybe only had the one night, but since then, we’ve had a lot of days together. Don’t tell me that nothing’s wrong. We’ve known each other too long for that.”
“It’s nothing . . . It was just – as it happened, my boss and I had the same room at the seminar.”
“Oh, wow!” Jennifer’s nose grew an inch out of sheer curiosity. “Double bed?”
“Yes.” Kim was wishing she’d left. Why had she even mentioned this?
“How old is she?” Jennifer asked. “Was it worthwhile?”
“The seminar was good.”
“A-ha.” Jennifer leaned back, grinning. “You don’t want to talk about it. So it must’ve been very good.”
“She’s my boss!” Kim replied angrily.
“Who doesn’t want to do it with the boss now and then? It happens a lot.” Jennifer propped her elbows on the table and leaned forward. “Oh, come on. How was she?”
“She’s married, straight as an arrow and a pain in the ass,” Kim said. “Satisfied?”
“And your point is? What does she look like?”
Fantastic, Kim thought. “Normal. You know.”
“Oh-ho-ho,” Jennifer said. “If you’re being that secretive, there’s something behind it.”
“Not really.” Kim sighed. “Yes, she looks good, but . . . as you said, she is my boss, so –” She left the rest hanging in the air.
“So she’s out of the question?” Jennifer shook her head. “You were in bed next to her and felt nothing?”
A tingle shot through Kim’s body and left her with goosebumps.
Jennifer saw the small shudder. “So you did!” she said triumphantly. “You had sex with her!”
“Sex doesn’t mean anything,” Kim said defensively. “We’re a good example of that.”
“Oh, it meant something to me. It just doesn’t have anything to do with love. Let’s not confuse the two. Now I love you – as a good friend; back then, it was all just hormones.”
“And for her, it was the same way, presumably.” Kim sighed. That was the only explanation, when she really thought about it. Without a doubt, Sonja was a very passionate woman, and perhaps she really couldn’t last three days without sex. So she’d gotten herself what she needed.
“But not for you?”
“Maybe,” Kim replied.
“But you’re not sure?” Jennifer wouldn’t let it go.
“I liked her a lot even before the seminar.” Kim took a deep breath. “She’s only been with our company for a few weeks, and just seeing her has made me have trouble concentrating on my work.”
“Major hormonal crisis.” Jennifer grinned.
“Yes, exactly.” Kim nodded. “That’s probably what it is. She just looks damn good – and is very charming.”
“Bring her along sometime.” Jennifer grinned even more. “She sounds interesting.”
“I don’t think –” Kim broke off. “Like I said, she’s married,” she finished.
“Now that is definitely not an obstacle.” Jennifer turned around partway and gestured into the room. “There are at least half a dozen of ‘straight’ married women back there.” She smirked. “One of them is pretty steamy. It does sometimes have its advantages that men don’t understand anything about sex with women. They’re absolutely starved, I can tell you.” Once again a cheeky grin stole over her face.
“I know,” Kim said, rather aggrieved. She was gradually beginning to understand that she and Jennifer were talking about different things. She desired Sonja – without a doubt. But that night when Sonja had lain on her breast and cried, that was something else. That had nothing to do with sex. She had just wanted to protect Sonja, to hold and comfort her. Sonja was simply a very special woman.
“I think I’ll bring the menu out.” Jennifer rose. “Maybe one of those creatures will find something she likes.” She was really grinning shamelessly. The menu she meant was, of course, herself.
Kim nodded and followed Jennifer with her eyes as she joined a woman who was standing rather shyly in a corner. Jennifer’s menu seemed to suit her tastes – after just two minutes, Jennifer was touching her arm, they were both laughing, and the reticent woman was starting to thaw.
“All alone, young lady?”
Kim turned her gaze from Jennifer and her latest conquest toward the woman sitting down at her table. Were people really still using that trite old come-on? Kim thought, amazed.
The other woman considered Kim’s face. “Was that your girlfriend?” She glanced briefly into the corner where Jennifer was now proceeding with a physical onslaught. She was kissing her new acquaintance and feeling around her body with interest while the woman pressed against her.
“No,” Kim said. “Well, yes,” she corrected immediately. “We’re friends, but not –”
A broad smile spread across the new woman’s face. “I’m glad to hear that. I don’t enjoy trouble with jealous partners.”
“Neither do I.
Which is why I don’t have one.” What difference did it make? Should she deny herself all contacts just because there was one woman who . . . who . . . whatever.
“Wonderful.” The woman’s smile grew. “I’ve been watching you for a while now. I like you.” Her hand rose, and she stroked Kim’s cheek with one finger. “Interested?” She looked inquiring.
Kim considered her more closely. The touch of her hand hadn’t triggered much in Kim, and aside from that, she wasn’t exactly her type. But what was the difference, really? As Jennifer had said: It wasn’t about love, just about sex. She pursed her lips. “Maybe.”
“My name’s Jo.”
“Kim.” Kim nodded.
“Okay, Kim. Would you like something to drink?”
“No, thanks. Instead, let’s . . .”
“Hmm, you’re on the fast squad.” Jo was delighted. “Shall we go to the back?”
“Yeah.” Kim stood up.
Jo followed her, and they took themselves into the back room of the café, the Darkroom.
Kim let Jo go first, who opened the door for Kim with a broad grin. Kim hesitated for a moment – the Darkroom wasn’t exactly her territory, she usually preferred a bed, although she had made use of it once or twice before. She entered, and Jo shut the door behind her, holding onto Kim’s arm so as not to lose her in the dark.
Jo pressed her against the wall. Kim felt her hot breath on her face. “You are so hot,” Jo whispered excited. “So incredibly sexy . . .” Her tongue swept across Kim’s cheek and then snaked its way into her ear.
Kim didn’t like that at all. Jo, of course, couldn’t see Kim’s grimace. “Hurry up,” Kim whispered in the darkness. She decided she didn’t want this stranger in her presence any longer than necessary.
Jo gave a throaty laugh. “You didn’t look like that type at all, sweetie. But I like that even better.” Her hands ran down along Kim’s body and sought her waistband. With practiced fingers, she quickly opened button and zipper.
Kim waited for the usual arousal, or at least a fraction of it, but Jo’s hands, pushing her pants and panties down over her hips, left her cold. “Take my breasts,” she whispered to Jo. That usually helped.
Jo, who had been caressing her backside with enthusiasm, let her hands wander higher, and pushed up Kim’s T-shirt. She gasped when she touched Kim’s breasts, caressed their feminine curves. “Hm, nice . . .” Jo found a nipple with each thumb and rubbed them.
Although Kim still wasn’t aroused, her nipples reacted of their own accord. They went hard.
“Yeah, baby, come on!” Jo whispered hoarsely. She bent down and licked across one nipple, took it into her mouth, licked some more, sucked.
What’s going on? Kim thought. Why am I not feeling anything? This had never happened to her before. When she wanted to be in the mood, she always could. Sure, Jo wasn’t someone she wanted to get to know better, but that didn’t have anything to do with sex. Jo was making an effort and doing all the right things. But it did nothing for Kim.
She let out a frustrated sigh, which Jo misinterpreted. “Yeah, baby, let yourself go, enjoy it,” she murmured.
Sonja! Damn it, it was Sonja! She was blocking all of Kim’s responses. Although she couldn’t see anything in the dark, Kim knew that Jo wasn’t Sonja. She could hear it and feel it. But that shouldn’t make any difference at all! What did one woman have to do with the other? Sonja wasn’t here, but Jo was, and she was making a considerable effort to win Kim over with her sexual arts.
Sonja, on the other hand . . . Sonja was now at home with her husband . . . who without any doubt had awaited her hungrily after her absence . . . and just this moment those two were probably doing exactly what Kim and Jo were also trying to do. Sonja would be in bed with him, she’d spread her legs –
Kim moaned, then reached for Jo’s head with both hands, pulled it up, and sought her mouth. Their lips met forcefully. Kim thrust into Jo’s mouth, and Jo’s tongue immediately thrust vigorously back.
“Oh baby, baby . . .” Jo murmured, after they’d separated from that highly violent kiss. “I knew you’d be good.” Jo breathed heavily. Her hand slid down along Kim’s side and sought the way between her legs. She pushed Kim’s thighs farther apart and tried to enter between her labia. “Don’t you want this?” she asked confused.
Kim could feel how dry she was. “Sure.”
“Ah.” Jo nodded understandingly, although Kim felt the movement more than she saw it. “Then we’ll do this differently. I once had a girlfriend with the same problem.” She slid down Kim’s body and knelt before her.
Kim felt Jo’s hair brush the insides of her thighs; she spread Kim’s legs even wider in order to fit her face between them. Kim leaned her head back against the wall and stared at the ceiling – if she could’ve seen it in the darkness. Quick, she thought. Hopefully it’ll at least work this way. She was already feeling burned out and empty, and her patience was exhausted.
The tip of Jo’s tongue tapped against Kim’s pearl, rubbed it, licked it.
Kim felt nothing. This can’t be happening! She simply couldn’t comprehend it, and she didn’t want to keep thinking about it, either. “I can’t, Jo, I’m sorry,” she burst out, pushing Jo’s upper body aside, pulling her pants up and her T-shirt down, groping her way quickly toward the exit.
When she opened the door, she almost crashed into Jennifer and her evening’s conquest. Jennifer stopped short for a moment, then grinned. She pushed the other woman into the Darkroom, turned around and whispered “Your zipper,” then disappeared behind the closing door.
Kim reached awkwardly for her zipper and pulled it up. She’d just plain overlooked that in the commotion. Another first. Today, things were happening to her that had never happened before. It was like a slapstick comedy, but unfortunately, she wasn’t the audience – she was in the middle of it, the leading lady.
Buster Keaton wasn’t a role she’d ever envisioned for herself, and she didn’t like it.
Quickly, she left the café and went home.
~*~*~*~
Late the next morning the telephone rang.
“Hey, how about breakfast at the women’s café?” Jennifer asked, clearly good humored. “I don’t know if the Darkroom will be open this early, though.” Her impudent grin crept right through the phone line.
“I don’t think I’d be comfortable at the women’s café today,” Kim replied reluctantly.
“Oh, you didn’t have a good time?” Jennifer asked astonished. “Well, I’m not complaining about my date.” Now her grin hung like a poster on the wall.
“Then just go with her. I’m sure she’d be glad to.”
“She’s long gone, back home to her three-legger,” Jennifer remarked cheerfully. “She didn’t even want to spend the night with me.”
“I’m sorry,” Kim said.
“I’m not.” Jennifer took a deep breath and yawned. “Good thing there’s the Darkroom. She was hot; probably because she liked it that no one was looking. But afterwards, I certainly enjoyed recovering in my own bed by myself. I don’t need all that ‘Will we see each other again?’ and ‘Do you love me?’ junk. You know –”
“Yes, I know. But at least you didn’t drag me into the Darkroom.”
“That should tell you how much I already treasured you, even back then.” Jennifer laughed. “I thought the bed was more appropriate.”
“Thanks,” Kim said. “How incredibly gracious of you.”
“You got that right. So, what about brunch? My stomach’s growling.”
“I don’t know . . .” Kim was undecided. “Actually . . . actually, I’d rather stay home today.” It was possible, after all, that Jo would also go to breakfast at the women’s café, and then Kim would’ve had to explain some things. She wanted to spare herself that. Besides, she really didn’t feel like being around people, even if they weren’t Jo.
“Why are you so unsociable today?” Jennifer asked puzzled. “You’re not usually like this.”
“Fine – if that’s what you want. But you’re definitely coming to the dance tonight – promise?”
Kim groaned. “Do I have to?”
“Yep. It’s got to be one or the other,” Jennifer said determinedly. “I’m not letting you waste away in your hovel, not when the dance only happens once a month. I can’t do that to my best friend.”
“Thank you for your concern,” Kim said sarcastically. “You just want me to see whoever it is you’re going to cart off today. Do you even have room for any more notches on your bedpost?”
“I have a metal bed frame, as you know,” Jennifer replied with dignity. “Besides which – who are you to talk? How many notches do you have now?”
“Not as many as you, I am sure.” Kim laughed. “All right, fine – you twisted my arm, I’ll come tonight. But if you just disappear straight into the Darkroom and I don’t even see you, it’ll be the last time.”
“Likewise. Ms. Came-out-the-Darkroom-door-still-hot-yesterday.”
“Hardly hot.” Kim answered automatically, without thinking about it.
“Your fly was open!” Jennifer reminded her. “So you two weren’t just playing Scrabble in there.”
“It’s much too dark for that in there, as you know perfectly well.”
“I am getting terribly curious about all this,” Jennifer said. “If you don’t come tonight, I’m coming to you. I want to hear the rest. Right now, I’m insanely hungry; it’s impairing my ability to concentrate.”
Kim sighed. “See you tonight, then.”
“You bet!” Jennifer called into the receiver and hung up.
All afternoon Kim thought about avoiding the dance, but since she’d promised Jennifer, and also because she was hungry for distraction, she went after all.
And what was bound to happen, happened: even before she saw Jennifer from afar, Jo crossed her path.
“Sweetie, what happened yesterday? Why did you run away? Did I do something wrong?”
“No, of course not.” Kim frowned and tried to find Jennifer over Jo’s shoulder. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
