Murder Can Rain on Your Shower

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by Selma Eichler

apparently the man wasn’t averse to pushing his luck. Because right now Jackie was screeching—and before

  I met Jackie I never knew that it was possible to

  screech in a near-whisper—into the mouthpiece.

  ‘‘What do you mean your dark blue suit? It’s a formal

  wedding, Derwin. Formal! And every other man at the affair will be in a tuxedo.’’

  There was a pause, during which Jackie rolled her

  eyes heavenward. Acknowledging her with a wave, I

  intended to head for my cubbyhole. But she held up

  one hand, signifying that I was to wait.

  ‘‘Listen,’’ she said to Derwin a moment later, ‘‘I will

  not—repeat not—be embarrassed in front of all my friends. And that’s that.’’ She stopped laying down the law at this point to allow for his rebuttal, after which her voice suddenly took on a deceptively reasonable tone.

  ‘‘You’re right, Derwin. I suppose that if you’re not com

  fortable spending the money to rent a tux, it isn’t fair of me to try and force you to do it. Besides, even though

  I’d love for you to come with me, there’s no reason I can’t go by myself. Charlotte mentioned that they

  were expecting quite a few unattached people.’’

  And now Jackie leaned back in her chair and let

  Derwin entangle himself in the net, a smile spreading slowly over her face.

  She looked over at me, mouthed ‘‘one minute,’’ and

  then, enormously pleased with herself, went on to

  wrap up things with Derwin. ‘‘Believe me, Derwin,

  I’m not angry. I told you I— What was that? No, I really wouldn’t feel right about it, honestly. I wouldn’t

  want you to—We-ll, if you insist . . . but only if you’re

  sure,’’ she was magnanimous enough to finally agree.

  ‘‘I’ll meet you at that rental place on Fifth at twelve thirty, okay?’’

  Once she and Derwin had said their good-byes,

  Jackie remarked tersely, ‘‘Men can be such a trial.’’

  (Unfortunately, I had no up-to-date information on

  this subject.) ‘‘I just wanted to tell you that your den

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  Selma Eichler

  tist’s office called. There was a cancellation, and they can see you on Thursday at four. They asked that you

  get in touch with them by noon today if you can make

  it. Want the number?’’

  ‘‘I have it.’’

  ‘‘You’re not going to call, are you?’’ she accused.

  ‘‘No. I can’t make it Thursday.’’

  ‘‘ Can’t—or won’t?’’

  Well, if Jackie thought she was dealing with another

  Derwin here, I was about to set her straight. ‘‘You decide, why don’t you?’’ I suggested snippily as I

  flounced down the hall.

  The instant my bottom made contact with the desk

  chair, I rummaged around in my shoulder bag for this

  crumpled slip of paper I’d dumped in there that morn

  ing. Then, after checking the phone number written

  on it, I lifted the receiver.

  But I suppose I’d better backtrack a bit . . .

  I had gone to bed at around one a.m. yesterday,

  thoroughly exhausted. But did this mean I’d been able

  to sleep? Ha! I kept agonizing over the investigation—

  and my growing lack of confidence with regard to the

  outcome. I was engaged in acting out my frustration

  by pounding the living daylights out of my pillow

  when it came to me: ‘‘Vincent What’s-his-name!’’ The

  recollection propelled me to a sitting position, and I switched on the light. Getting out of bed, I hurried over to the closet and removed my yellow linen suit, fishing in the pocket for the paper Kathy Marin at

  Silver Oaks had given me.

  I opened it up. DOMINICK GALLO, it read. (Okay, so

  I’d screwed up a little on the name.) Right below that

  was the waiter’s home telephone number. I smoothed

  out the paper and laid it on the bureau before re

  turning to bed, where I soon proceeded to inflict an

  other round of abuse on my pillow.

  Anyhow, I was presently listening irritably to a re

  corded telephone message at the Gallo home. ‘‘We’re

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  141

  away right now,’’ a young female voice was saying.

  Must be the man’s daughter, I speculated. ‘‘We’ll be back on Sunday, August thirty-first. Uh, that’s Labor

  Day weekend,’’ she added for the caller’s edification. Well, it’s not that I really expected that Dominick Gallo would be spending his free time at home. But

  then again, not everybody takes off for Pago Pago on their vacation, right? Or even for Coney Island, for that matter. Don’t get me wrong, though. While I

  didn’t figure Gallo would prove to be any more of an asset to the case than anyone else at Silver Oaks had been, I couldn’t afford not to talk to him, particularly with the way things seemed to be shaping up. Which

  is why I was so ticked off that he wasn’t available here

  and now. Patience, I concede, has never been one of my long suits.

  And by the way, I lectured silently—and to no one at all—as I hung up the phone, that family should be aware that it’s not overly clever to announce to the world how long you intend to be gone. I mean, the Gallos were liable to come back to find that somebody had given them a housecleaning they didn’t appreciate. I spent the rest of the day transcribing my notes.

  But my output wasn’t anywhere near as impressive as

  it had been on Monday, when my stubby little fingers had moved at a rate of speed that was probably a first

  for them—and most likely a last, as well. I have a feeling, though, that I’d subconsciously slowed down

  today. The reason being that I was far from eager to review yesterday’s get-together with Carla Fremont.

  The thing is, I had little hope that I’d learn anything

  from a study of that meeting. And having already

  pretty much dismissed this Dominick Gallo from my

  mind—he was not only currently out of town, but he

  was a long shot to begin with—I would then be forced

  to ask myself the question I most dread having to deal

  with in an investigation:

  Where do I go from here?

  Chapter 22

  I was not in the best of moods when I got home from

  the office. And I had no intention of going within five

  feet of either the refrigerator or the stove that night. So borrowing from Ellen’s at-least-three-times-weekly

  game plan, I called our local Chinese takeout. Unfor

  tunately, Little Dragon is known more for the quantity

  than for the quality of its food. However, their stuff isn’t that bad if you’re really hungry—which I was.

  Anyhow, it was a couple of minutes before seven

  thirty, and I was just polishing off a humongous com

  bination plate when the phone rang.

  ‘‘Hello,’’ I said. Or at any rate, that’s what I wanted

  to say, only my mouth was full of fried rice so I don’t

  think it came out that way.

  ‘‘Er, Desiree?’’

  I hastily gulped down the rice. ‘‘Yes, this is Desiree.’’

  ‘‘This is Nick Grainger,’’ the voice informed me un

  necessarily. ‘‘Uh, I hope I’m not interrupting your sup

  per or anything.’’

  Now, I was all set to tell him that I’d already fin

  ished eating. But then something—I later decided it

  was the Fates—made me bite back
the words. ‘‘Oh,

  no,’’ I substituted for the truth, ‘‘as a matter of fact, I just got in.’’

  ‘‘Listen, I know this is last-minute notice—and I

  apologize—but until about two minutes ago, when my

  brother canceled on me, I didn’t expect to be free to

  night. Since I am, though, I was wondering if there was any possibility of your having dinner with me later.’’

  I hesitated for a split second. After all, as much as

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  143

  I enjoy food—and contrary to what you may have

  assumed—my stomach is not really expandable. But

  Nick put his own interpretation on this fleeting mo

  ment of indecision.

  ‘‘Please say you’ve forgiven me for D’Agostino’s,

  Desiree. I can’t believe I behaved so stupidly. I was hoping for the opportunity to prove to you that I’m not as big a jerk as I gave you reason to believe I am.’’

  ‘‘All right, I’m willing to reassess you,’’ I responded

  with this inane little titter.

  ‘‘Great. I’m still at work—I have a florist shop about

  six blocks from our mutual apartment building—but

  I’ll be closing in half an hour. I can pick you up in around forty minutes, if that’s okay.’’

  ‘‘Can you give me an hour?’’ Then I realized that

  my apartment could betray me—the place smelled like

  Eau de Chinese Takeout. ‘‘And it’s really not neces

  sary that you call for me. Why don’t I meet you

  somewhere?’’

  ‘‘Sure, if you’d rather do that. What kind of food

  do you prefer?’’

  Now, the thing is, I didn’t see where this made much

  difference. How was I going to be able to find room for anything anyway? So I foolishly answered, ‘‘All

  kinds. You choose.’’

  ‘‘Do you like Chinese?’’

  Oh, shit! ‘‘Yes, I do.’’ I never got a chance to add the ‘‘but.’’ Which is probably just as well, because what could I possibly have told the man? ‘‘I’ve had enough Chinese food for one night, thank you very

  much. However, for the pleasure of your company I’m

  willing to eat a second supper of another ethnic ori

  gin—and stuff myself to the point of explosion.’’ Lis

  ten, no matter how I phrased it, that’s what it would have boiled down to. And talk about a lease-breaker!

  I mean, it was enough to induce a guy to relocate to the wilds of New Jersey. At any rate, before I was able to put my foot in it, Nick named a rather elegant

  Chinese restaurant about a ten-minute cab ride from

  my apartment.

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  Selma Eichler

  ‘‘See you in an hour,’’ he confirmed.

  ‘‘Could we make that an hour and ten minutes?’’ I

  said, tacking on the travel time.

  ‘‘Sure,’’ Nick agreed with a laugh. ‘‘Whatever you

  say.’’

  I don’t know how I ever managed to get myself

  ready that evening. Between my nervousness at finally

  going on this long-hoped-for date and the fear that

  I’d gag the instant I looked at anything edible, I was a wreck.

  I was so discombobulated that I tripped getting out

  of the shower, and only a last-minute grab for the

  towel rack prevented me from flying head first across

  the bathroom. Plus, my hand was so unsteady that I

  had to redo my eye makeup twice. But it was either that or show up resembling a cross between an owl

  and a chipmunk. Even my wig gave me grief that

  night. And who did it think it was, anyway—my real

  hair?

  I arrived at the restaurant fifteen minutes late—

  which actually wasn’t too bad, all things considered. The maitre d’ ushered me to the booth where Nick

  was seated sipping a glass of white wine. And let me tell you, a skinny little fellow with a buck-toothed grin

  can have the impact of a Mel Gibson on certain mem

  bers of the female gender. Namely me.

  He got to his feet immediately, and I noticed the

  impeccable fit of his light blue sports jacket. The man

  was like something out of GQ, I thought appre

  ciatively.

  He gave me a brief hug. And then, as I slid into

  the booth: ‘‘I hope you’re hungry.’’

  ‘‘Umm, to be honest, I had a very late lunch.’’ (This

  being as close to honest as I intended to get.)

  ‘‘I’m sorry to hear that. The food’s really good. But

  could be you already know that. Have you been

  here before?’’

  MURDER CAN RAIN ON YOUR SHOWER

  145

  ‘‘No, but I’ve heard some very really nice things

  abut this place.’’

  ‘‘Well, why don’t we relax over drinks for a while. Maybe you’ll work up an appetite.’’

  I was cringing inside. But I forced a smile. ‘‘Maybe,’’

  I said.

  Chapter 23

  Moments after my merlot had been served—Nick was

  still working on a glass of chardonnay—he said qui

  etly, ‘‘I’d like to tell you why I was . . . well, the way I was at D’Agostino’s the other night.’’

  ‘‘Please,’’ I protested, ‘‘that isn’t necessary.’’

  ‘‘Maybe not for you, but it is for me. I was pretty upset when I ran into you, Desiree. Of course,’’ he put in quickly, ‘‘that still didn’t give me license to act like such a fool, but I want you to know that I don’t normally behave like that—honestly. Less than an

  hour earlier, though, there was . . . uh . . . I’d had a confrontation with my ex-wife.’’ He reddened. Despite

  his insistence on going into this, I could see that Nick wasn’t any too comfortable discussing his personal life

  with a virtual stranger.

  Nevertheless, I got the idea that he felt compelled

  to explain further, so I all but tripped over my words in an attempt to cut him off. ‘‘I can understand why you might not have been in a very sociable mood.’’

  He was determined to continue, however, although

  with obvious reluctance. ‘‘It wasn’t the fact of my ar

  guing with Tiffany—our fights are practically legend

  ary.’’ What did the man expect from a woman named Tiffany, anyhow? (And in case you’re thinking what I imagine you might be, there’s a big difference between

  a Desiree and a Tiffany.) ‘‘But this had to do with my

  son—he’s nine years old,’’ Nick was saying. ‘‘I’d gone to her apartment to pick him up—and for the second

  week in a row she gave me some cockamamie excuse

  about why I couldn’t have Derek for the weekend. I

  MURDER CAN RAIN ON YOUR SHOWER

  147

  was really worried about this being the start of some sort of pattern—you can never be certain with Tiffany.

  So believe me, Desiree, I wasn’t fit company for any

  one that evening.’’ His smile was forced. ‘‘Not even for myself.’’

  I was groping for something encouraging to say, but

  at the same time, I was leery of coming across as too Pollyanna-ish. I finally settled for, ‘‘Let’s hope you’re wrong—about that being a pattern.’’

  ‘‘Apparently I am—or was. Tiffany called the next

  day to assure me there would be no problem this

  weekend.’’

  ‘‘Well, that’s good.’’

  ‘‘Seems that way. But we’ll see.’’ And then, anxious

  now to move off the to
pic, Nick said hastily, ‘‘Tell me

  about you, though. Somebody mentioned that you’re

  a private detective.’’

  ‘‘Word certainly gets around in our building, doesn’t it?’’

  He chuckled. ‘‘Don’t knock it. Gossip’s an impor

  tant learning tool. Anyhow, what sort of private de

  tecting do you do?’’

  ‘‘You mean do I have a specialty?’’

  ‘‘Yes, do you?’’

  ‘‘Uh-uh. I’ve investigated everything from a missing

  boa constrictor to murder. Although lately murder has

  taken a big lead over my boa constrictor-type cases.’’

  ‘‘Are you conducting a murder investigation now?’’

  ‘‘As a matter of fact, I am.’’

  ‘‘I’d like to hear about it.’’

  Well, since he appeared to be genuinely interested,

  I went into a very sketchy recitation about Bobbie

  Jean and the four shower attendees who utterly de

  spised her.

  ‘‘So?’’ Nick put to me when I’d finished.

  I looked at him, puzzled.

  ‘‘So which of them do you believe poisoned her?’’

  ‘‘I’m beginning to think that none of them did.’’

  At this point the headwaiter stopped at the table to

  ask if we were ready to see the menu yet.

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  Selma Eichler

  Nick left it to me. ‘‘Desiree?’’

  ‘‘Sure,’’ I said valiantly. I mean, sooner or later I had to bite the bullet, right?

  The wine helped. Only not enough. Probably be

  cause, as usual, I was limiting myself to just one glass.

  Anything more than that and there was a good possi

  bility I’d wind up sliding under the table. Actually, I’m exaggerating. But after that first glass of wine I have a tendency to slur my words a bit—something I

  wasn’t too keen on demonstrating this evening.

  Still, by the time my shrimp with black bean sauce

  arrived (I’d begged off any appetizers), I was able to look straight at the little buggers without blanching. And almost immediately I resorted to this strategy I have for dealing with situations like this. (A strategy, incidentally, that I rarely find the need to press into service.) Here’s how it works. First I start moving my food around the plate with such apparent zest that

  nobody seems to notice how few trips the fork makes

  to my mouth. Then later, at the appropriate moment,

  I casually drop my napkin over the plate, concealing what remains of the dinner. Which tonight would con

 

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