by Leisha Kelly
Dad kept busy, going from engine work to cleaning up in the service garage. I tried reading another poem, got halfway through, and had to stop again because my thoughts just wouldn’t leave me alone.
That waitress had called Donald a kid. He was acting like a foolish kid, no question about that. But what about me? I’d never really wanted to grow up. So the step Frank was trying to take was as much for my benefit as it was for his. If we stayed here as I’d wanted, maybe we’d never grow into whatever purpose God had in mind for us. I might have been content with that, but Frank could never be.
Despite the wisdom of that reasoning, I began to sense the stirring of the same seed of doubt. Donald’s words echoed in my heart even as I tried to chase them away. Do you really want to leave everything you know? And follow willy-nilly who knows where?
Here it was again. The temptation. A way out. Not just in my head anymore, but blatantly offered face-to-face. I could have a life here in Dearing if I turned away from Frank and his dreams.
There should never have been a struggle in my mind over that. I loved Frank. What might the Lord have in store for us? Why would the tempter be trying so hard? Perhaps I’d never know the answer, but I did know that I’d made a promise. And going back on it now would be turning not only from Frank but from God.
I will trust you, I affirmed again in my mind. I will trust Frank. No matter where it leads me.
Somewhere I’d heard a Scripture that says we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers. I didn’t know why that should apply to me, and yet that day I felt like I was wrestling indeed.
20
Frank
At the bank, Mr. Willings pointed out the man I needed to talk to. I had papers Mr. Bellor had given me, telling details about the property and what he wanted for it. He was ready to sell as long as I could get the help I needed from the bank to pay him.
Lord, work your will. I took a deep breath and knocked at the man’s office door though it was standing open. He was a young man, younger than I would have expected to find in his job. He looked up and motioned me inside without saying anything. I waited while he shuffled papers, put some away, and then finally asked what he could do for me.
“I need to talk to you about a loan,” I said. “I want to move my business here to Camp Point.”
“What kind of business?”
I handed him a WH card, took another deep breath, and did my best to describe to him the kind of work I’d done and hoped to continue doing.
He looked over the papers about the Bellor property and started asking me questions about my previous income and assets. I told him how much I’d been bringing in, how much I’d saved back, and how much I thought I could put into a down payment, even what I thought I could handle for a monthly payment and how long I figured it’d take me to pay it off.
He smiled and turned to an adding machine sitting on his desk. “I’ve been used to doing the figuring myself for most folks.”
“Seemed reasonable to have an idea in advance,” I explained. “So I’d know if it was worth your time for me to even come in here.”
“What interest rate are you allowing yourself?”
I told him the last figure I’d heard and admitted it might not be accurate because I’d gotten it in Mcleansboro two months ago.
“Mcleansboro? So why do you want to move up here?”
“I’m startin’ a new life. Gettin’ married. And what I’ve seen of this town leads me to believe I could make a go of it here.”
“Why is that?” he questioned on, and I felt sunk a little. Seemed like he was going to be hard to convince. I wasn’t sure he was even taking me at my word.
But I told him why the shop was just what I needed and that Camp Point didn’t have another one like it, nor Clayton either, which was close enough to draw at least a portion of my customer base from. I told him about the historic homes I’d seen and that I knew how to restore features should anyone in the area need that done. And I’d found a church here I liked and had done work locally already.
When he told me my income wasn’t as high as he’d like to see from a loan applicant, I explained that I hadn’t counted the farm income and that up here my work time wouldn’t be divided putting hours in for a joint venture with my brothers.
“They can handle the farm without me now, and I’ll be able to put full time into the business. I understand Quincy’s the biggest town around here. Haven’t had time yet, but I’m planning to drive over there and see if I might interest some of the shops in consigning some of my work. That’ll generate more sales, once I get it going.”
“You’re a confident young man,” he said without looking up from his adding machine.
“It don’t pay to be otherwise.”
“Why not move into Quincy if you anticipate sales there?”
“I’m a farm boy. Smaller town suits me fine. Big yard and a wide corner lot is almost like havin’ a field. There’ll be room for plenty a’ garden.”
He looked up at me with another smile, this one a little different than the others. “Your figures are reasonable. And it’d be nice to see somebody make a go of that property again. I’d like you and Mr. Bellor to meet with me tomorrow, and we can start drawing up the papers.”
That simple. I almost couldn’t answer. But there was something else I had to tell him, and I prayed it didn’t mess the whole thing up. “About the papers. When it comes time for all that, I’d appreciate it if you had a secretary that could read ’em out for me. I’d pay her for the trouble. I understand better picturin’ things in my mind than I do tryin’ to hold it in front of me, and I wanna make sure I have a full grasp of the details.”
He looked at me a long time. “That’s the prettiest way I’ve ever heard of admitting that you can’t read.”
Even though I felt like I’d been kicked, I made myself answer him steady. “I can read, sir. Just not well enough yet, and I know better than to allow that to be any hindrance to my understanding a’ terms. I want things done right.”
He nodded. “You’re brave as well as confident. I’ve worked with a number of men who don’t read, and most are not so ready to admit it.”
I bowed my head. “It’d be foolhardy to pretend, sir, or to sign anything I wasn’t clear on.”
I thought he might start asking how in the world I thought I was gonna manage a business then. I could imagine getting his ridicule and a rebuke before he just shook his head and dismissed me. But it didn’t happen that way. He told me his bank’s current interest rate and how that would alter the monthly payment amount I’d figured. And then he asked me how I’d learned to calculate such things.
“I looked at properties close to home some. Didn’t find the place I wanted down there, but I paid attention to what the fellow from the bank said about how payments is figured up.”
He didn’t answer me anything about that. “I’ll talk to Mr. Bellor. Can you come back tomorrow at two o’clock?”
“Yes, sir.”
That was it. I was on my way to buying that piece of property, and it felt like a gift from heaven. How could it have been so easy? Of course, we weren’t half started, but he didn’t seem to have no problem with me asking to hire a secretary to read for me. I wondered for a minute if that would really be so different from having Sam here to help me, or Sarah. But it would. I knew it would. If I had to bring kin along, it’d be like saying I couldn’t do it without ’em. But paying the secretary would just be business. The banker even seemed to understand that.
I paid for a room for a week even though I didn’t like spending the extra cash. I knew I could prob’ly stay with Mr. Willings, but I didn’t want to be leaning on his kindness if I didn’t have to do things that way.
I did use his telephone to call Sarah back. I told her everything that banker had said. She seemed glad, she really did, even though she’d been crying before. She said she was happy to be part of the life I chose, whatever it was. And I told her
I couldn’t imagine being more blessed. God gave me a gift when he turned Sarah’s heart in my direction. No doubt about that. I didn’t think there’d ever be a way I could thank him enough.
When I finished that call, I knew I’d have to make one more. To Sam, who’d be expecting me back through Jacksonville today or tomorrow if I didn’t tell him otherwise. I really didn’t want to explain anything to him because he might want to get himself here in time for the meeting tomorrow. But surely he wouldn’t be able to on account of his job. And anyway, I could tell him plain I didn’t want that.
He was mad. He said Uncle Milty would be too, about me buying but not from them. I hadn’t even thought things through to anticipate that, but Sam was really angry.
“I would have signed a note just between you an’ me, Franky. You could’ve been in my house already! Now we still don’t have a sure buyer, and you’re going to somebody you don’t even know.”
“Their place fits me better,” I tried to explain. “The house and the shop both. And both yards. It’s just what I need.”
But he wouldn’t hear me and called me selfish and ungrateful. I apologized, even though I didn’t think I needed to. The way I saw it, I never had any obligation to buy from him or from Milton Pratt. I’d never made any promises.
“You’re just asking for heartache being so bullheaded,” he told me. “If you don’t wanna work with me and Uncle Milty, why should I run all the way over there to help you? We coulda already had things squared away a whole lot easier.”
“Sam, I ain’t askin’ for help. There’s no need you runnin’ over here.”
“You ain’t askin’ for help?”
Why that hadn’t sunk in, I don’t know. “Nope.”
“Is Sarah coming up?”
“Not yet. We got no plans for that till after the wedding.”
“Franky, you’re crazy! When are you signing papers?”
“I meet with the banker again tomorrow. Not sure how long it’ll all take. But the owner led me to believe that I could be in the commercial building as soon as next week if all goes well at the bank, which is what I expect.”
He was quiet for a moment. “You’re blowing your money staying in town over there, aren’t you?”
“I’m paying for a room, yeah. But I don’t consider the money blown. I’m gettin’ a start.”
“God love you, Frank.” His voice sounded softer. “I wish you’d listen to me. You’re gonna get yourself roped in over there and end up half broke and disappointed.”
“No. It won’t be like that. You’ll see.”
“I hope not. For Sarah’s sake most of all. You’re bein’ a fool. Renting Pratt’s would make more sense. It’d be easy to step away if things don’t work out. And buying from me there wouldn’t be no problem if you had trouble. I’d be patient when you need it and find another buyer if it ever come to you wantin’ to go back home.”
It was hard to keep talking to him. “I know what you had in mind, Sam. And I don’t want your guarantees. You can call me bullheaded all you want. I still love you. But I aim to make a life on my own. I just called so you’d know I won’t be back over there no time soon.”
“Are you gonna tell this to Uncle Milty, or should I? He’s still got his heart set on somebody running his store for him.”
“I’m sure he can find somebody. A young fella I met at church is ready to start lookin’ for a job. I might mention it to him.”
“Don’t know if Uncle Milty’ll like that or not.”
I shook my head even though Sam couldn’t see it. “I’d just as soon be his friend, you know that, but I never signed on to spend my time tryin’ to please him.”
He laughed, just a little. “I shoulda known with you. If there’s one thing you always been, it’s unpredictable. Lord knows where you’ll end up.”
“You’re right,” I answered solemnly. “I expect he’s the only one.”
Laying awake in bed that night, I prayed for Sam and Mr. Pratt. I prayed for Mr. Bellor and the banker and that meeting tomorrow. I prayed for Mr. Willings too, and his church. When he’d learned I was thinking to stay, he’d been real happy about it. He asked me to speak again. He said their pastor was in the hospital and he’d been doing his best to fill in and find speakers when he could. I prayed for that pastor, even though I didn’t know his name. From what Mr. Willings said, he wasn’t far from going home to be with the Lord.
I started re-thinking everything while I was laying there. Sam thought I was a fool to do things this way. I didn’t agree. Not the way he meant it. I had to find a way to do on my own without my brothers stepping in thinking they needed to. But here? Sarah was being mighty good about it. But was it really right?
I couldn’t hardly sleep. I got up and walked around my little rented room, praying about this whole thing. What was I thinking, anyway? I didn’t even know anybody here.
But that’s the kind of challenge I knew I’d been longing for. To put myself in a spot and make things work, just to prove I could. Was that selfish pride? There wasn’t nothing stopping me from makin’ a go a’ things down by Mt. Vernon somewhere. Sarah’d like that better. Why here?
It all come down to what the Lord wanted for us. And me yielding my heart to realize that nothing was going to work for me anywhere without him in the middle of it. I couldn’t stand on my own two feet without his foundation under me and his strong hands holding me up. I told him I was sorry, just in case I’d lost sight of that. I told him I was willing to quit now and go home, or anywhere else he might want me. And right then while I was praying that, I had the strangest feeling I was supposed to go see Mr. Willings again. Now.
But that was crazy. It was almost midnight. He’d think I’d lost my mind if I come banging on his door right now. And I didn’t know anything I needed to talk to Mr. Willings about anyhow. I tried to keep on praying. I even sat on the edge of the bed, thinking I’d lay back down and try to get some sleep. But I couldn’t get it out of my mind.
Go see Mr. Willings.
“He’s gonna think I’m crazy,” I told myself. “He’s gonna wonder if I been out drinkin’ or somethin’.”
But I put on my coat and I went, slow, trying to talk myself out of it the whole way.
There was a light on in his house. At least I might not be waking him. But I still felt bad going up to the door. What in the world was I gonna tell him? I knocked, feeling ashamed to ring the doorbell. I knew he was a widower and lived alone, so I wouldn’t be waking nobody else, but I thought it better to just knock once or twice. If he didn’t hear me, I’d go.
He heard me. He come to the door a lot quicker than I expected, and he was dressed like he was ready to go someplace. Of course he was surprised to see me.
“Franklin Hammond. What can I do for you tonight?” He seemed troubled.
“I’m not knowin’ nothing I need you to do,” I told him. “I just couldn’t get it out of my head wonderin’ if there’s something you need.”
He just looked at me a minute, and then he opened the door wider. “Come in.”
I didn’t know what to say. He was awful quiet. I followed him to his sitting room, but he didn’t sit and neither did I. Instead, he took hold of his Bible and a pair of reading glasses from a corner table and then turned and looked at me.
“I do have a need. Our pastor’s wife called. She’s convinced that he’s about to pass, and she would like me to be there. But I have difficulty driving so far at night. I told her I might have to wait till morning, bad as I hate to when she’s asked for me.”
He looked down at the floor. I didn’t know much of anything about him or his pastor, but I could tell they must have been good friends. “Would you like me to drive you? You’ll have to direct me, ’cause I got no idea where they are, but I can see fine to drive at night if that’s the trouble.”
“The St. Mary’s hospital in Quincy, son. And I’d greatly appreciate it. The good Lord must have sent you. I was wondering if there might be someone I co
uld call on as late as this.”
“I’ll get you there. My truck’s right outside.” Thank you, God, for speaking to my heart, I prayed in silence. Thank you for getting through my thick skull enough that I could listen.
He had his coat on quick and was ready to go. I reminded him he oughta take a hat on account of the cold and then remembered I’d forgotten my own. Again.
We were pretty quiet on the way to Quincy, and I was glad we hadn’t had more of the kind of weather Sarah and her folks had gotten down there. Mr. Willings only spoke when he had to direct me, till we were past three other little towns. Then he cleared his throat and started talking a little more.
“Pastor Ells has been a blessing to so many. I’m glad to have known his friendship since we were young men. I’m glad to have known his heart.”
There was nothing I knew to reply to that, so I only listened. And in a moment, he went on.
“Sometimes when someone passes away it feels like the close of an era. I suppose this’ll be like that. And I may feel like I’m living past my time.”
“I don’t think anybody does that,” I had to answer. “All our times are in the Lord’s hands.”
“Yes,” he said solemnly. “Of course you’re right.”
I kept thinking maybe that pastor wouldn’t die tonight. Maybe it wasn’t the Lord’s time for that yet. But sometimes it is. I’d been through enough to know.
I wasn’t sure how we’d be received coming into the hospital in the middle of the night. Ordinarily, I think they would have turned us away till morning. But there was a nephew downstairs waiting, hoping Mr. Willings would be able to come, and they’d already gotten permission from the staff on the pastor’s behalf.
I felt very out of place. I didn’t know any of these people. I offered to stay in the truck, or at least downstairs. But Mr. Willings insisted that I should come along. I was a brother in Christ, he said. The one chosen to be with him tonight.
First thing we did was pray for the family. And then Mr. Willings went in the room to see his old friend. I stayed in the hall. Everybody did, except Mr. Willings and the pastor’s wife. They stayed in the room a long time, and then we prayed some more while others of the family took their turns to be at the bedside.
