by Andrew Grey
“Not at all, that’s cool,” Guy said, and his phone rang. He raised his finger and answered it, talking quickly before hanging up. “I gotta go, but I’ll call you later.” Guy hurried off, and Kendall got the rest of his things.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to get out of here,” Kendall said.
“I still have work to do,” Juan explained. “Do you want me to come to your place?”
“That would be great. There are some cool places near the apartment, we can probably eat at one of them,” Kendall suggested, and Juan nodded and smiled. “Sounds great. I’ll stop by this evening.” Juan hurried away, and Kendall grabbed his things and headed out to his car, moving as fast as he could without actually running.
On the drive home, he could have sworn he was being followed. He kept seeing the same red car even after he made more than one turn. So instead of going to the apartment, he stopped off at the Glendale Galleria, parking with the valet. As he got out, he looked around carefully for the red car, but saw nothing. Feeling a bit foolish, he headed inside and wandered around the mall for a while. At one point he grabbed a small bit of lunch. Afterward, he stopped by a bookstore with a display of Johnny’s books in the window. He browsed for a bit and then continued on. He stopped in a small store filled with displays of rocks and fossils. Kendall was fascinated and looked at everything before buying Johnny an ammonite. The sales girl wrapped it and placed it in a bag. Kendall paid for it and left the store with a smile on his face. Throughout their relationship they’d had to travel separately, which Johnny hated, but they always brought back little gifts for each other, and he wanted to have something interesting for Johnny.
Kendall sat down on one of the benches, his bag resting next to him, and without thinking he pulled out his phone. “How are you?” Kendall said when Johnny answered his call.
“Really good. The book is coming along well, and I should be done in a few weeks. How much longer will you be out there?” He sounded more excited than he had since Kendall left.
“About a month. I may have to come back after that if they need me to fix things. We’re starting the location work on Monday. I don’t know if I’ll have cell phone coverage during the day, but I’ll call when I get back to the hotel at night.” Johnny made an agreeable sound but didn’t say anything. “Is something wrong?”
“No… well, maybe yes. But I…. It’s not really important,” Johnny began.
“What isn’t important?” Kendall asked.
“Nothing. I’m just a bit lonely,” Johnny admitted, and Kendall grinned.
“So am I,” Kendall said, and he heard some noise in the background. “What’s that?”
“Jeremy’s here. We’re going over the things he found and having dinner,” Johnny said, and Kendall wanted to reach through the phone and throttle whoever this Jeremy was. He should be the one there having dinner with Johnny.
“I’m tired of this whole thing and want to come home,” Kendall said. “I’ve been working for months, and everyone I know except for Juan and a few others are there in New York. I’m sick of being alone all the time. Right now I’m sitting in the middle of the mall on a bench whiling away the time like a well-dressed homeless person.”
“Stop being dramatic,” Johnny said with a slight chuckle. “Are you still having the troubles with the flowers and stuff?” Johnny always asked, but in a skeptical way that told Kendall he didn’t believe how unnerving and serious it was.
“You mean other than someone breaking into my dressing room, trashing it, and leaving two roses in the mess?” Kendall said.
“Kendall, you should have called,” Johnny scolded.
“I did, and you would have known if you’d called me back. I left you a message two days ago,” Kendall snapped. “Look, if you don’t care anymore, that’s fine. You can just say so.” Kendall stood up, yanked his bag off the bench, and stomped back through the mall toward where he’d come in. “I know you don’t believe me, but whoever is doing this has me really scared, and being patronized isn’t helping.”
“I’m not patronizing you,” Johnny said. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how serious it was. And….” Johnny paused. “I sort of dropped my phone in the toilet and had to get a new one.” Kendall slowed his pace as he reached the mall entrance and began to laugh.
“Okay,” Kendall began, still chuckling. “It’s okay. I’m sorry too. I think all this really has me on edge,” he said with a sigh, his humor gone. “They’ve hired extra security for when we’re on location, and though it’s been a few days since anything happened, I’m still nervous.”
“You should be,” Johnny said. “Have you gone to the police?”
“No. The studio is handling it. They’ve had extra security on the set for the past few days, and I’ve had no issues,” Kendall explained. “I know it isn’t over, but maybe they’ll get the message and move on to bother someone else.”
“Okay. But be careful,” Johnny said.
“I will,” Kendall replied and pushed open the door to the parking garage. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Okay. Jeremy and I have work to get done. I’ll talk to you soon.” Johnny hung up, and Kendall stopped, shaking a bit with anger as he thought about what Jeremy and Johnny might be up to. He handed the valet his ticket. While the valet got his car, Kendall wondered what Johnny had wanted to talk about. God, things were a real mess.
His phone rang as the valet braked his car to a stop. “Hey, Guy,” Kendall said when he answered the call.
“I’ve got things I have to do for Lyman and won’t be able to have dinner,” Guy said. “But I’ll see you on location, and maybe if we got done filming early one night, I can show you a bit of Vegas.”
“That would be nice,” Kendall said. The valet held his door, and Kendall tipped him. “I’ll see you next week.” He hung up and placed the phone on his seat, then drove to the apartment.
There was nothing outside his door when Kendall let himself inside. He set down the bag and went into the bedroom. After stripping off his clothes, Kendall took a shower and dressed comfortably, then flopped on the sofa to watch television while he waited for Juan to arrive. He wished Johnny were here to curl up with him. But then again, maybe those days were over forever.
Chapter 6
“TWO weeks,” Kendall grumbled as he walked back to his trailer, desperate to get out of the infernal heat. Juan raced to catch up with him.
“Kendall,” Juan said. “You know they’re going to need you on the set in a few minutes.”
Kendall stopped and waited for Juan to catch up.
“If you need something I can get it for you,” Juan said.
“What I need is five minutes to get out of this heat,” he lied. What he really needed was for them to rewrite the entire premise of the movie so he wouldn’t need to spend hours inside that car. The thought made him cold even in this ungodly heat. “I’ll be fine once I get a drink and can spend a few minutes where it’s cool.”
He could tell Juan wasn’t buying it, but he kept his opinion to himself and followed behind. Over the past few weeks, Juan had made sure Kendall was rarely alone when on the set. There hadn’t been any incidents at all, but Kendall passed the guard who sat in the shade near his trailer. “Hey, Carl,” Kendall called as he approached. He nodded to Kendall as he passed.
The inside was cool. Thank God for air-conditioning and the nearly silent generators that powered everything out here in the middle of nowhere. Kendall got bottles of water out of the refrigerator and handed two to Juan. “Pass one to Carl too,” he instructed. He sat on one of the benches and did his best to push the fear away. He’d known this part of the movie was going to be hard to make, but he’d had no idea how difficult.
Juan came back inside. “Are you going to be okay? They said they’ll need you in five minutes.”
Kendall swallowed. “Okay.” Up to this point, they’d filmed a variety of scenes, including him being carried around by the would-be kidnap
per, and even a number of the scenes in the car. Those hadn’t bothered him. After all, it had been the front half, the open side, or the back half the car. But now they needed to film him in the car, the full car, with the doors closed.
“You should get back out there,” Juan said gently, and Kendall nodded and stood up, then left the trailer and went where they were shooting between the hills. The sun was brutal and beat relentlessly on his skin. Kendall had taken to using an umbrella and sunscreen whenever he could, because he couldn’t get tan or it would ruin the shots. His skin tone had to stay the same. He hurried to where they were shooting and stood off camera in the shade of an awning as he waited until they were ready for him.
“Kendall,” Lyman said once they were done and motioned toward the car. “We’ve talked about this scene and what you need to do.”
“Yeah, I got it,” Kendall said and walked toward the car. He sat down behind the driver’s seat, and Arlene, one of the production assistants, fastened his hands to the steering wheel with handcuffs.
“They’re props, so don’t pull too hard or they’ll come off,” Arlene said, and Kendall did his best to smile at her. “It’ll be fine, honey,” she told him. “Everyone is out here and nothing is going to happen.” Kendall looked up at her, a bit confused. “My grandson doesn’t like confined spaces either,” she whispered, and once he was secured, she closed the door and Kendall sat inside the only slightly cooled car, trying to breathe as evenly as he could while at the same time preventing himself from passing out from the heat. “Okay, action!” Kendall heard from outside the car, and he peered out the window, darting his eyes from side to side, and then tilted his head to look up at the sky. His fear built by the second, and he opened his mouth, breathing through it. “Cut,” he heard and the car door was opened. “That was pretty good, but I need more,” Lyman said, and Kendall nodded. His stomach roiled, and he hoped to God he wouldn’t be sick.
“Okay,” Kendall said softly, and the car door closed again. This time he watched the people move away from the car, sweeping out their footprints in the sand. Kendall listened for Lyman and then went through the same motions, this time much more frantically, and he pulled on the steering wheel. His own fear barely contained below the surface, Kendall looked out at the landscape beyond the dunes behind the film crew, opened his mouth, and let out a cry that seemed to come from the very center of his being. There was no way he could take much more of this, and he let it all out. He was still crying and gasping for breath when someone opened the door. He yanked his hands away from the steering wheel and the cuffs came apart and fell away. Kendall leaped from the car and bent over, gasping for air. “Are… you… done?” he managed to wheeze between breaths.
“That was amazing,” Lyman said.
“Good,” Kendall sputtered as he forced himself to stand upright. “Now leave me the fuck alone.” Kendall took the first stumbling steps back toward his trailer. “And don’t you dare ask me to do that again.” He took a few more steps and heard someone hurrying up behind him.
It was Lyman. “It’s all right,” he said and guided Kendall toward a chair. “He needs some water.” Someone brought over a bottle and Kendall drank it, trying to catch his breath and slow his racing heart. “You know we’re not done,” Lyman whispered, and Kendall nodded.
“Fine,” Kendall said. “But I want this part of this thing over with. I can’t take days of this, Lyman. I can’t.”
“We’ll do what we can,” Lyman told him. “It’s just a car, and everyone is out here. No one is leaving you alone.” Kendall nodded and drank his water, doing his best to get himself together again.
Kendall finished his water. “Just tell me when you’re ready,” he told Lyman as steadily as he could. This wasn’t the first time he’d had to overcome fear in relation to his work.
KENDALL sat backstage in his dressing room, shaking like a leaf. He had no idea where all this fear had come from, but he was scared to death. All night long, he’d dreamed he kept falling down on stage and forgot every line of his new part. He’d just been cast in his first lead role, and the entire show rested on his shoulders. If he messed up, the show would be a disaster. He reached for his copy of the score and opened it. He knew his lines—he always knew his lines—but now they were gone and he couldn’t think of a single word other than, “Shit…. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.” He was about to toss the score across the tiny room when a knock sounded on the door.
“Forty-five minutes.”
“Thanks,” Kendall answered and picked up his phone, pressing his number 1 contact. “Help me. I can’t remember a single line, and I don’t know what to do.”
“I’ll be right there,” Johnny said. “I’m already on my way. Tell someone to let me backstage.”
“Thanks,” Kendall said. He got up and pulled open his door, stopping one of the runners, a young guy whose name escaped him, along with every line from the show. “Please tell someone out front that I have someone coming and they’re to let him back. His name is Johnny Harker. He should be here in a few minutes.” Randy… the runner’s name was Randy, Kendall remembered.
“Don’t worry, Kendall,” Randy said. “I’m heading out front. I know what he looks like. I saw him a couple months ago when he came to see you.”
“Thanks,” Kendall said and went back in the dressing room to finish getting ready. If this was going to be a complete disaster, he might as well look stunning while he crashed and burned.
A few minutes later he heard a knock and Johnny stepped inside, then closed the door right away. “You’re going to be just fine,” Johnny told him before Kendall could say a word.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” Kendall said, his leg shaking slightly.
“Of course you can. You’ve rehearsed this a million times, and you know every line and every move by heart. It’s as automatic as breathing and as vital as air.” Johnny pulled him into his arms. “You’re amazing, and there isn’t another person anywhere who can do this part better than you.” Johnny lightly touched his chin, and Kendall lifted his gaze. “I love you, Kendall, and that will never change, no matter what. And I’m going to be out there in the front row, cheering you on. So when you hear that first clap, know it’s from me.”
“But….”
“You’re going to be great, and I’m going to be so proud sitting out there watching you.” Johnny hugged him close again. “I love you more than anything in the world.”
KENDALL snapped out of his daydream and glanced around. No one seemed to have been paying him any attention. Preparations were being made for the next shoot, and everyone was busy as hell.
“They’re going to be ready for you in about twenty minutes,” Juan told him, and Kendall nodded his response. He didn’t feel like talking right now. “I’ll let you get into character,” Juan added and then stepped away. He stood nearby, and Kendall knew his friend was standing guard so he’d be left alone.
“I LOVE you more than anything in the world,” Johnny whispered into Kendall’s ear. “And I think you’re so amazing. I want to shout to everyone in the theater that the amazingly talented and gorgeous leading man up there on the stage is mine.”
Kendall chuckled softly, some of his anxiety and the tightness in his chest slipping away. “Do you mean that?”
Johnny paused and stiffened slightly. “Of course I do. You’re everything to me.”
“Even more than your books and your stories about dead people?” Kendall quipped.
“Yes,” Johnny said, hugging him tightly. “I love you more than dead people.” Kendall smacked him lightly on the arm, but he laughed. “All this is just nerves, and you’ve had them before. So use them in your performance—let them add energy and excitement.”
“Ten minutes,” someone called after a quick knock. Johnny stepped back, and Kendall looked in the mirror to make sure he was perfect. His makeup was slightly smeared, so he did a quick fix before brushing a smudge off Johnny’s clothes.
“It
’s okay,” Johnny told him. “Just finish getting ready.” He kissed him with the promise of heat. “That’s a preview of what’s waiting for you at home.” Johnny stepped away, and Kendall sighed. “I’ll be waiting for you out front. Break a leg,” Johnny added with a smile and then left the dressing room. Kendall checked himself yet again in the mirror and then stepped out of his dressing room, and walked to the stage.
Multiple “break a legs” were whispered as he passed, and Kendall acknowledged each one with a smile and whispered the greeting in return.
The overture started, and Kendall got into position, then the curtain lifted, he heard his cue, and leaped into his first dramatic move, landing perfectly before opening his mouth and singing to the back of the house. Beyond the lights he saw Johnny smile, eyes shining with reflected light. After that, his mind and body took over, lines came easily, every movement crisp and spot on, every leap and stunt just a bit higher than in rehearsal. He gave the performance of his life… for his Johnny.
“KENDALL, they’re ready for you,” Juan said, and Kendall shook his head, bringing his attention back to the present with a bit of regret. “Are you okay? You seemed….”
“Far away,” Kendall supplied. “Seems more like a lifetime ago,” he added. But he felt better. He shoved his hand into his pocket to pull out his cell phone before he remembered it wasn’t there. There wasn’t any service out here, and Juan was holding all his personal things because he refused to leave them in the trailer.
“Whatever it was must have been happy, because you were smiling,” Juan told him. Before Kendall could answer, he was called on the set, and he walked to where they indicated and got back in the car. This time he was much calmer, and this time when they shut the door, it seemed like Johnny was there with him, just like it had felt like Johnny had been with him that night all those years ago. He didn’t question or second-guess the feeling; he just went with it and got the job done.
