My first walk of shame was not my last and while the challenge on Campbell didn’t look good, it wasn’t one of my worst.
The tackles I subsequently made on Aston Villa’s George Boateng and Everton’s Gary Naysmith make me cringe when I see them now.
It is all about finding the right balance. When I was growing up I was always told to let the opposition know you are around early on. Win the battle and you’ll win the match. A lot of games in my early years were won through intimidating players. Nowadays you can’t do that because you don’t stay on the pitch. I have experienced that enough times. Football has changed and you become less aggressive because of the rule changes regarding tackling from behind and approaching challenges with your feet off the floor. But I would say that a competitive instinct is missing in a lot of the kids coming through these days and that, in my opinion, is one of the main reasons why the production line at Liverpool’s Academy has slowed in recent times.
To stand out from the rest of the people in your age group, you have to have something extra, something that they have not got. You have to be prepared to run the extra yard when you’re physically shattered, make the tackle when it’s easier not to and continue to push yourself when really you know you could probably get away with blending into the background.
It is not just about ability. It is about something inside. I look at Michael Owen and he had that instinct when he was growing up. Jamie Carragher had it and I think I had it as well. My problem was that, whatever it was, I had too much of it to begin with.
* * *
“On the pitch, I became someone I didn’t like.”
* * *
Can’t Believe I’ve Just Done That
* * *
My face says it all. Kevin Campbell is left flat out after I caught him towards the end of a typically fierce Merseyside derby at Anfield. It was a bad tackle and I deserved to be shown the red card by referee Mike Riley. I was guilty of getting carried away and trying to impress too much. To make things worse, we lost that game 1–0. I left Anfield all sheepish, but to compound matters I was having a meal afterwards and who did I bump into in the toilets of the restaurant? Kevin Campbell. I went up to him and apologised in person because obviously I didn’t really see him immediately after the game. He could have made it difficult for me, but to be fair to him he was brilliant and we shook hands.
I KNEW I HAD TO MAKE A STATEMENT
Needless to say my sending off against Everton was not what I had in mind, but there was still enough time to ensure the 1999–2000 season was the one where I cemented myself in the Liverpool team.
During the summer I’d had four or five weeks to regroup and assess where I was. I’d had a wonderful taste of what life as a Liverpool player was like, but I was aware that my first full season would constitute a different challenge.
When you break into the first team people will make allowances. Not your team-mates so much, but the manager and coaching staff certainly, and the fans as well. But I knew I had to improve and show I could cope with the demands of playing for Liverpool every three to four days. Not only that, but starting matches as well. I was fortunate in the sense that, right from the start, Gerard Houllier believed in me. He liked me and I knew that if I did the right things, I could always count on his support. My career was shaped over the next 18 months, largely because of Gerard, and that is why I will always owe him such a debt of gratitude.
I learnt how to behave on and off the pitch. I discovered how important diet and rest were and, generally, I came to respect the opportunity that stretched out before me. Cut corners and I could fall by the wayside, but with dedication and professionalism Gerard told me I could be whatever I wanted to be.
From that moment on, there was never any doubt as to which route I would take. Gerard trusted me, but he still took a huge interest in the life I was living. In truth, he probably spent too much of his time checking on me.
He treated me like a son and it was as if I spent half of the day with my ‘surrogate dad’ and the rest of the day at home with my real mum and dad. Every single day without fail he would want to catch up with me and because of that daily routine the good habits he wanted me to cherish were drilled into me.
Don’t get me wrong, he knew I was young and young lads like their downtime. He didn’t want me to live like a monk. But he would stress the importance of eating well, resting well and not partying every week.
This was someone who had worked with the top French players, players who had just won the World Cup and would win the European Championship that season. Gerard thought I had the ability to be recognised as a top player as well. I would have been thick not to listen and take in the advice he offered.
But it wasn’t a love-in. I was scared of Gerard in those early days and scared of Phil Thompson, his assistant, as well. They were my bosses at the end of the day. My career was in their hands. Yes, they had a lot of confidence in me, but they weren’t afraid to give me a lecture either if they felt I wasn’t doing it. It certainly wasn’t all pats on the back off them. I was desperate to please them and prove them right and I soon chalked up another milestone.
I had always expected my first goal for Liverpool to come from distance. I’ve had an eye for a shot throughout my career and back when I dreamed about breaking my duck in a red shirt, I envisaged a strike arrowing into the top corner. I was more of a shooter than a finisher. When the moment finally arrived in a match against Sheffield Wednesday in December 1999, it was like nothing I had imagined.
For a start, my first Liverpool goal came from a pass from Rigobert Song which was a surprise in itself. Usually they went over my head! I was midway in my own half and I remember receiving the ball in an area where my first instinct was to look for a pass. That’s the way I have always played and especially at that age when I was still looking to feel my way into the team. If there is an easy pass on, I will do it. I only really dribble if I am in a sticky situation or if there is a man to beat and I can get a shot off. I don’t go looking to dribble.
But I ran at the Sheffield Wednesday defenders and kept on going as an opportunity opened up in front of me. To be honest, I still expected a last tackle to be made, depriving me of my moment and halting my slalom run, especially when you are taking on the likes of Des Walker, who had been one of the country’s top defenders. It didn’t, I kept going, and I tucked the chance away.
When the ball hits the back of the net, a weird sensation comes over you. You get lost in a moment, you don’t realise what you are doing and, in a sense, you lose control.
This was the type of stuff I would do as a kid when I was coming through the ranks, back when I found everything a little bit easier. Now I was doing it at Anfield, in front of the Sky Sports cameras, and to make things even better my mates – Danny Murphy and Davie Thompson – scored in that game as well. It was a huge boost to my confidence. When things like that happen, you realise you can do it at that level and those are the moments that help you grow as a player.
When I was starting out, during my first five, ten, fifteen games, I still had doubts that I might not be able to have a career at Liverpool and that I might get ‘found out’. It was all so new, I didn’t know what to expect. I suppose feeling like that is just normal, but there would be difficult moments in games and I didn’t know for sure that my ability was going to let me cope at that level.
That is why scoring at Anfield was so important for me. All these little things – my debut, my first start and now my first goal – helped me believe in myself a bit more and fill the Liverpool shirt a bit better.
As a team we started to grow as well. We finished fourth, losing on the final day of the season at Bradford to miss out on the Champions League and qualify for the UEFA Cup instead.
Fourth? There was no way I was going to settle for second best let alone fourth, but it represented progress under Gerard and there was a feeling within the squad at the time that we were getting somewhere. Yet no one in the dressing
room could have predicted what was to follow.
* * *
“For a start, my first Liverpool goal came from a pass from Rigobert Song which was a surprise in itself.”
* * *
It’s In!
* * *
When the ball hit the back of the net for my first goal for Liverpool, I was just lost in the moment. I’d taken a pass, gone round Emerson Thome, evaded Des Walker and finished nicely before diving full length in celebration in front of the fans in the Anfield Road End. I can remember David Thompson, Danny Murphy and Michael Owen piling on top of me. The way they reacted to that landmark moment showed they were almost as pleased as me. Playing for Liverpool was a dream, now scoring for them was something else. As I trotted back into position, my name was read out over the Tannoy and a huge cheer erupted around Anfield. I will never forget that moment.
Me and the Didi Man
* * *
Due to the number of foreign players at Liverpool there were, naturally, some cliques in the dressing room. The French lads stuck together for example and, likewise, the English players were a tight group. Danny Murphy, Michael Owen, David Thompson and Jamie Carragher welcomed me, as did one other – Didi Hamann. It might say he’s German on his passport, but he was a Scouser through and through. He knew all the slang and where some foreigners down the years have struggled to understand Carra and myself, he was right in there with all the banter. As a player, he is one of the best I have played with. Unselfish and very clever, he had this unerring knack of being in the right place at the right time. Here he is congratulating me after my first ever goal for Liverpool against Sheffield Wednesday.
Shadowing a Master
* * *
Gazza was coming towards the end of his career when I came up against him, and he was obviously not as good as he was in his prime. But just to say I had been on the same pitch as an England hero was unbelievable. He actually caught me with a sly elbow off the ball in the game, which was out of order, but because it was him I let it go! I would have liked his shirt, but I was too shy to ask for it at that stage of my career. There have been times when I came across him after this tussle. When he was at Everton, he was on the pitch after one derby when we were doing a warm-down and he came up and had a chat. He just said I was a good player and that I should keep doing what I was doing. Then he added with a smile: ‘And don’t do what I do.’
Get In There!
* * *
This is probably one of the worst haircuts I have ever seen, but thankfully my shooting was better. I have a good record against Newcastle which overshadows the fact that one of the worst moments of my domestic career came against them. I had just got into the team when we played Newcastle at Anfield in December 1998 (the season before this photo comes from) and I was taken off at half-time just 20 minutes after I had come on as a substitute in the first place. Being brought on and off in the same match is one of the biggest insults to any footballer. I felt terrible. I will always have good memories of Gary Speed and was deeply shocked by his death. I never worried about playing against him when he was in his own half because he kept everything simple, but he had this special ability to run off your blind spot in and around your own penalty area. You would think he was just there, under your control, then the next second he’d head one in the back of the net. A few managers have told me off for that when I played against him. I was guilty of ball watching and then, bang, Gary would punish you with a goal.
Now You See It . . .
* * *
There is a strong passion inside me to try and stop Manchester United being successful. They are one of Liverpool’s biggest rivals after all. But that doesn’t dilute the respect that I have for their players.
I understand the pressure they are under every week to perform and to win trophies. When you have been as successful as they are, you cannot help but acknowledge what they have achieved.
For Ryan Giggs to have played for so long at the very top of his profession is both amazing and a tribute to his hunger and his talent. He is someone I admire immensely.
Up, Up and Away
* * *
Heading is an element of my game I have had to work on. I was small when I was younger and my heading only really started to improve when I had my growth spurt. Whereas tackling and shooting came naturally to me, my aerial strength has definitely developed during my career. I have a natural spring but it’s something that I had to bring to my game in order to be an all-round midfielder in the Premier League. When you consider that the most important goal I have scored for Liverpool (against AC Milan in Istanbul) was a header, I must have done something right down the years.
Keeping Up With the Pace
* * *
Arsenal has always been a difficult game and in the early days, especially, Patrick Vieira summed them up. In the FA Cup Final in 2001, he wiped the floor with me at times, but overall I felt I held my own in my battles with him. I wouldn’t prepare any differently for a game against Arsenal to one against Bolton or Blackburn, for example, but I knew I would have to play to the maximum come Saturday afternoon. Everyone in a Liverpool shirt would have to, otherwise we would lose. One of the most difficult opponents I have ever faced was the Arsenal ‘Invincibles’ team of 2003–04. They were like a machine. Big, strong and better than most of the teams in the Premier League in every department.
THE TREBLE SEASON
There were some mornings before training started, and the banter between the lads hadn’t started flying, that if a camera caught me I’d just be gazing around the dressing room at the talent we had: Michael Owen. Jamie Carragher. Robbie Fowler. Jamie Redknapp. Gary McAllister. Danny Murphy. Sami Hyypia. I could go on and on.
I didn’t realise we would do quite as well as we did in 2000–2001, a season that became defined by ‘The Treble’, but I had an inkling that we would compete at the top. It was easy to see the quality that we had in every position, but Gerard Houllier underpinned that by the mentality he was creating.
Professionalism was our watchword. Training was always played at a really high tempo and was very intense. No one wanted to lose a game against their mates, let alone Manchester United or Arsenal on a Saturday afternoon.
People talk a lot in football about having a ‘winning mentality’. It is something that is difficult to define, more of a feeling than anything else. Basically, you have so much confidence and trust in the players around you and the manager and coaching staff that you start going into certain games knowing what the result is going to be even before it has kicked off. And, even if the match doesn’t start well, or go well at a certain point, you have the confidence and belief that it can be turned round and the momentum tipped back into your favour.
At Liverpool, I’ve had that feeling a few times. For a spell under Rafa Benitez, I would be training on a Thursday or a Friday and I knew what the score was going to be on the Saturday. I won’t name clubs because that is disrespectful, but I knew we would win and I knew what would happen. It was like that under Gerard that season.
Sure, we lost matches, but the feeling of togetherness that we had meant our campaign never unravelled. Gerard had a saying: ‘Good teams don’t lose twice on the run.’ So we didn’t and our season got better and better, exceeding our wildest expectations.
Cardiff’s Millennium Stadium will always carry happy memories for Liverpool. For a time it seemed like it was our second home.
From the first time we went there in February 2001 to face Birmingham City in the League Cup Final, we had more good times than bad.
It was tight that day and after Robbie Fowler scored early in the match, we slackened off too much. We had been massive favourites going into the match and maybe we thought the result was going to be a foregone conclusion. Darren Purse equalised from the penalty spot in the last minute of normal time and then a shoot-out ensued in which our goalkeeper, Sander Westerveld, emerged as one of Liverpool’s heroes.
I must admit there was a certain amoun
t of relief when we lifted the Cup because losing to a side that was a league below us would have been embarrassing and the stick we would have received unrelenting. But, after the game, when we were all back in the hotel celebrating, it dawned on each and every one of us that this was what it is all about.
And especially me. Some of the others had experienced this before, but this was my first final and my first major medal. Of course, I had won medals and trophies growing up and coming through the ranks, and each one is important in its own right, but this felt different. This was like my first proper medal. A place in history.
There is a pressure and a weight of expectation that comes with playing for Liverpool. You are constantly reminded about the history and tradition of the club, what other players have previously won, and I loved the feeling that I was adding to that. Thankfully, there was more, much more, to come. We were back at Cardiff soon after.
I have strong memories of the FA Cup Final while I was growing up: staying in all day as a kid to watch the build-up, and then the match itself, before racing out of the house to the scrap of wasteland on Ironside Road and trying to recreate what I had just witnessed on the TV. Now to be playing in one was a dream come true, although for 83 minutes it was an occasion to endure rather than enjoy.
It was the one-off hardest game I had played in my life at that point. We were physically out of our depth. Arsenal were fitter, stronger and better. Maybe we were tired due to the punishing schedule we had been on, but maybe that’s an excuse. Yes it was a tough season, both physically and mentally, but if that final had been played after we’d had four weeks’ rest Arsenal would have still played us off the pitch. That pitch was Arsenal’s pitch. They were all in their prime and that remains the best Arsenal side ever for me.
Steven Gerrard: My Liverpool Story Page 3
