by Rosie Clarke
‘I didn’t do much, sir,’ Jessie said. ‘I think I should go now. Goodnight, sir.’
‘Goodnight, Jessie. Sleep well.’
‘And you, sir.’
Jessie walked along the hall to her own room. She hesitated and then locked her door. She didn’t really think he would try to come in, but it was wise to be sensible. That kiss had made her tingle right down to her toes. She would have to be careful or she would find herself becoming too attached to Captain Kendle.
She had sensed his loneliness, and she knew his marriage wasn’t all it should be, but that wasn’t her affair. Nothing could come of a relationship between them; it would be doomed from the start – if she allowed it to start.
She sat brushing her hair for some minutes before getting into bed to read a few pages of her book. It was a long time since she’d thought about a man’s kiss. No one had made any impression on her since Robbie. She’d had plenty of chances. Brothers and friends of the other nurses at St Joseph’s had asked her out and one of the doctors had shown some interest until she’d made her own feelings clear. She hadn’t wanted anyone to take Robbie’s place and she still didn’t – but she had felt something this evening, a stirring of feelings she’d believed long dead.
This was ridiculous! Jessie told herself to stop being foolish. Captain Kendle was married and even if he hadn’t been there was a huge divide between them. She would only be hurt if she allowed herself to think of him as anything other than the father of Catherine and Jack.
She turned her thoughts to the children. Jack could be a handful at times. They’d had one or two small battles that weekend, but he wasn’t too difficult if you treated him firmly but fairly. She knew he’d played Alice up while she was in with Lady Kendle, but Alice lost her temper too easily. She was too impatient and resented looking after the children, even for a short time.
Catherine was no problem. Jessie was finding the child a delight. She was always happy, playing contentedly until Jessie was ready to look after her, but her eyes were ever watchful. Jessie was sure she knew far more of what was going on around her than everyone thought. She wouldn’t talk unless she had to and she preferred to crawl rather than walk, but she could walk if she wanted; it was just that she could crawl faster.
Jessie was sure she was responding to the attention she was getting. Perhaps she would never be like Jack, but she could still have a happy life if her parents could learn to accept her for what she was.
Sighing, Jessie pushed the problem from her mind as she settled down to sleep, but another one immediately replaced it. Was the man she’d met on the train really a political agitator?
Oh, what did it matter? She wasn’t likely to see him again.
Jessie turned out her lamp, closed her eyes and went to sleep. It would soon be morning and she had another long day ahead of her.
*
Jessie woke and lay staring into the darkness, wondering what had disturbed her. Then she heard the door handle turn and remembered locking her door the previous evening. It had seemed sensible, but supposing she was needed? She jumped out of bed and rushed to the door.
‘Who is it?’ she asked. ‘What do you want? Is someone ill?’
There was no answer but Jessie thought she heard someone walking away. She unlocked her door and looked out but the hall was empty. Had whoever it was gone or had she imagined the whole thing?
Captain Kendle wouldn’t have come to her room, would he? Stranger things had happened. Aunt Elizabeth had warned her to be careful.
‘Some men can’t keep their hands off the maids,’ she’d told Jessie. ‘I’m not saying your Captain Kendle is like that but it’s best to be careful.’
She would raise her eyebrows if Jessie told her about the kiss but she wasn’t going to tell anyone. Jessie was sure it was just an innocent gesture, for comfort as he’d said. He hadn’t meant to seduce her and she hadn’t been in danger of being seduced. If she’d been frightened she would have made her displeasure known, but he’d been gentle and sweet and she’d quite liked being kissed by him.
She was suddenly sure it hadn’t been him who had tried her door. That only left Sir Joshua and Carter, both seemed equally unlikely. Unless Nanny was wandering. Perhaps she’d felt ill again?
Jessie pulled on a dressing robe. She went down the hall, carefully opening Nanny’s door a crack. A gentle snore told her that all was well. A visit to the nursery revealed Jack and Catherine in their beds.
It was a mystery then. Jessie returned to her room, locking the door behind her again. She would make sure she did it every night in future, though she would leave the door that led through into the nursery wing unlocked in case the children needed her in the night.
She frowned as she got into bed. There were only three men in the house now that the guests had gone home. It had to have been one of them. She just wished she knew which of them had tried to enter her room unannounced.
What would she have done if it had been Captain Kendle? Jessie wondered. She hoped she would have had the strength of mind to send him away, but she wasn’t sure. She wasn’t at all sure that she would want him to leave.
Chapter Seven
Jessie wondered if her mystery visitor would try again, but several nights passed and she was not disturbed by someone trying to enter her room unannounced. She was half inclined to think she might have imagined it in the first place.
She was a bit worried about meeting Captain Kendle again after that kiss but when it happened it was accidental and passed off without embarrassment. She was returning from one of her long walks with the children and he saw them, waiting for Jack to run up to him, to be swung high in the air until he shrieked with laughter. He smiled at Jessie, gave Jack a peppermint out of his pocket and when Catherine asked to be picked up because she was tired he carried her himself.
Giving her to Jessie as they approached the house, he said, ‘She seems to walk better than she did. Perhaps because of all the fresh air and exercise she’s been getting?’
‘Yes, sir. It’s not as easy to crawl outside as it is in the house. She wants to keep up with Jack so she has started to run after him. She can’t catch him, of course, but she doesn’t fall over so much now.’
‘So I noticed,’ Harry said and smiled. ‘You are making a difference with her, Jessie.’
‘Thank you, sir.’
Jessie was pleased with his praise and walked into the house with a smile on her face. She was heading for the stairs when Carter came into the hall. He gave her an odd look as she passed him, then called out something she didn’t quite catch.
Jessie turned to look at him. ‘What did you say?’
‘Pride goes before a fall, that’s what I said,’ he muttered and she caught a flash of something that might have been jealousy in his eyes. ‘Be careful, Jessie, that’s my advice to you.’
‘What do you mean? I don’t understand you.’
‘You understand right enough,’ he said and turned away to the kitchen.
Jessie decided to ignore his remarks. She was settling in well now and didn’t want any trouble with Carter. It made her think that it might have been him that tried her door, but since it hadn’t happened again she wasn’t going to make a fuss.
However, it made her uneasy about asking him to take her into Torquay on her afternoon off and she inquired about the train from Nanny when she decided that she would take some free time. She had been at the house for nearly three weeks now and she hadn’t bothered to do take more than an hour or so off from her duties.
‘Yes, there’s a train into Torquay,’ Nanny told her. ‘But you’ll need to catch the five-thirty back or you will be stranded until the next morning, and it’s a long walk home from the station. It’s a lot easier to ask Carter to pick you up in town. He doesn’t mind. Besides, he goes in often to bring back provisions for Cook; he can kill two birds with one stone.’
‘I’d rather be independent if I can.’
‘Has he made a pass at you?’
Nanny asked. ‘I know he was a bit of a lad when he was younger but he’s usually sensible – at least when he’s sober.’
‘Does he drink a lot?’
‘No, not often. I’ve known him to have one too many at Christmas or New Year but otherwise he’s fairly reliable.’
Seeing her suspicious look, Jessie laughed. ‘He hasn’t done anything, Nanny. I just like to be independent if I can, that’s all.’
‘You haven’t got anything to hide, have you? No secret lover you want to meet?’
Jessie saw the mischief in her eyes. ‘No, no lovers. All right. I suppose I’m being silly. I’ll go on the train and ask Carter to meet me from the station when I get back.’
‘If he does cause you any trouble, tell me. I’ll put him right.’
Jessie was pleased to hear the militant note in her voice. Nanny was making a good recovery and was perfectly able to wash, dress and look after herself. She was still having her meals in her room, but had offered to sit in the nursery with the children while Jessie had her time off.
*
Jessie felt quite excited to be going to the busy seaside town that afternoon. She’d only visited the sea a few times and never before in this part of the world, which she knew to be especially picturesque. The train journey took only twenty minutes or so and she was thrilled by her first glimpse of the beautiful wooded coastline. The cliffs looked pinkish in the clear light and seemed to climb forever to the sky, and the dark blue sea stretched endlessly into the distance, sparkling and enticing in the winter sunshine. The wind was very cold, of course, but Jessie found it exhilarating.
Jessie spent most of the afternoon exploring. She had come to buy knitting wool, postcards, some toiletries she needed for herself, and also one or two small presents to give at Christmas. Once that was done she wandered along one of the twisting cliff paths, stopping every now and then to gaze out at the sea. Below her the foam was tossed high into the air as the waves boiled and thrashed about spurs of jutting rock. It was all so beautiful, she thought, standing at the edge to gaze down at the beach below.
She could see two people walking along it, intent on each other. As she watched, they stopped and embraced, their kiss deeply passionate and intimate. Jessie felt embarrassed and turned away, but even as she did so the woman laughed and broke away, running ahead of her companion. When she stopped and looked back, Jessie saw her face and her heart stopped. It couldn’t be! No, she was wrong. She had to be wrong! That surely couldn’t be Mary Kendle down there, even though it looked like her, and it certainly wasn’t Captain Kendle with her.
Jessie drew back, hoping that she hadn’t been seen. She hadn’t meant to spy on something that was so private, and yet it had happened on a public beach. There were few other people about because it was too early yet for the tourists to be here in force, so perhaps the lovers had thought themselves safe to kiss on a beach they had almost to themselves.
Jessie wished she hadn’t seen it. She must have been mistaken. That woman surely wasn’t Mary Kendle. How could it be? Of course it couldn’t!
She hurried down the cliff path as she realised the time. The afternoon had passed so swiftly that she had to hurry to catch her train. She managed it by mere seconds and found herself wishing that she’d had longer. If she had asked Carter to fetch her from the town she could have spent that much more time exploring.
He was waiting for her at the station in the Daimler. He gave her a sideways glance as she got in beside him.
‘Had a good afternoon then, Jessie?’
‘Yes, thank you. The time went too quickly though.’
‘I could always take you in earlier or fetch you back. You have only to ask. Madam sometimes needs me, but she prefers to drive herself. She went in after lunch.’
‘Oh…’ Jessie’s heart thudded. It could have been Mary Kendle she’d seen on the beach – but surely it wasn’t? That would mean… something she didn’t want to know. ‘Perhaps I’ll ask another time, thank you.’
Carter accepted that then lapsed into silence. She wondered if she had offended him but when he followed her into the kitchen he was his usual cheerful self, teasing Maggie and chatting to Cook about something he’d read in the paper.
‘Did you get what you needed, Jessie?’ Cook asked as she poured her a cup of tea.
‘Yes, thank you. I’ll drink this and then go up to the nursery and see how things are,’ Jessie said. She was feeling a little anxious in case it had been too tiring for Nanny looking after the children.
‘I’ll keep your supper warm for you then. I’m just about to get their dinner upstairs. Mary Kendle came in a few minutes before you.’
Jessie finished her tea and snatched a rock bun from the cooling tray to keep her going until she had her meal. She was thoughtful as she walked upstairs. Mary Kendle could have got home before her even if she had been on that beach. It had taken Jessie at least ten minutes to walk to the station and twenty minutes on the train; the drive would probably take half that time if the roads were not busy. But of course it couldn’t have been her! She wasn’t being unfaithful to her husband, was she?
As Jessie approached the nursery she heard voices and hesitated, surprised. Mary Kendle hardly ever came near the nursery.
‘I wanted your opinion, Nanny,’ she was saying. ‘You have so much more experience. Captain Kendle thinks the new girl has done wonders but I…’
Jessie didn’t wait to hear more. She went straight in, surprising her employer into a blush.
‘You’re back then, Jessie,’ Nanny said. ‘They’ve both been good. I put Miss Catherine to bed after her tea because she was tired. Master Jack has been painting that castle you helped him make. It looks very good now he’s nearly finished it.’
‘It’s for his soldiers,’ Jessie said and smiled at her. ‘Catherine walked such a long way this morning. I expect she was tired, but we should get her up for a while or she might not sleep through the night.’ She looked at Mary Kendle. ‘Would you like to see Catherine for a few minutes, Mrs Kendle?’
‘Not at this moment.’ Mary frowned. ‘My husband is thinking of getting another expert opinion on her. He thinks the first doctor may have been wrong – that she may be less retarded than we had thought. I wanted to ask Nanny’s opinion first.’
‘Jessie sees more of her than I do, ma’am,’ Nanny said. ‘She seems better in herself for the fresh air she’s been getting, but I couldn’t tell you more than that. I’m not a medical person.’
‘She talks more than she did and she tries to run after Jack when we’re out,’ Jessie said. ‘I think she seems very bright in herself, though I can’t be sure how much she is capable of learning.’
‘And have you had medical experience of children like my daughter?’
Jessie cringed as she said those words, as if Catherine were some sort of a freak. ‘No, ma’am, I speak only of what I have observed in Catherine.’
‘Then perhaps you should keep your opinions to yourself. My husband believes you know what you are talking about and he is determined to seek further advice. I believe we shall be disappointed but he will have his way.’ Mary glared at Jessie. ‘I just hope it will not be a complete waste of time and money.’
She nodded to Nanny and walked from the room, ignoring her son who was playing with his soldiers and looked up as if in hope of a kind word from his mother.
Jessie went through into the children’s bedroom and began to tidy it, though there wasn’t much out of place. She was so angry that she thought she would explode. How could any mother be so careless of a child’s welfare? Even if the visit to the doctor didn’t help it was surely worth trying?
Nanny followed her into the bedroom after a moment. ‘I shouldn’t let her bother you,’ she said when Jessie thumped a pillow. ‘She always did have a sharp tongue. Pretty, of course, and an heiress – but I thought Master Harry could have done better for himself.’
‘I could have hit her!’ Jessie said between her teeth and, seeing that
Catherine had woken, went to pick her up. ‘Hello, darling. Want to come and play for a while?’
Catherine was wet. Jessie was teaching her to use the chamber pot and sometimes they were successful but not always. She changed her nappy, feeling a little anxious as she put the child down and watched her crawl across the floor to find and play with her dolls.
‘It isn’t for us to say what’s right and wrong between them. I suppose they are happy enough in their way.’
‘Believe that and you’ll believe anything,’ Nanny said with a sniff. ‘Master Harry is miserable even if he tries not to show it. I’m going to visit Lady Kendle. The children had their tea at three thirty but they didn’t want much. You’d given them a good dinner before you went.’
They had walked back into the playroom together. Jack looked up as Nanny went out, the door closing behind her.
‘It was boiled egg for tea. I don’t like eggs much.’
‘Well, perhaps you would like a biscuit?’ Jessie said with a smile. ‘I bought a packet of chocolate ones. Would you like to have one or two now?’
Jack said that he would. The only time he’d been given chocolate biscuits was on those rare occasions that his mother sent for him to appear when she and her friends were having tea, and he’d had to wear the hated sailor suit, which rather took the shine from the treat. He was eating his second biscuit when the nursery door opened to admit Captain Kendle. Jessie had taken Catherine on her lap and she too was busily chewing on a biscuit, her mouth ringed with chocolate.
‘What’s this?’ Harry asked with a mock scowl that deceived no one. ‘I don’t remember anyone giving me chocolate biscuits before bed when I was in the nursery.’
‘I hope you don’t mind?’ Jessie said. ‘It’s a special treat I bought in Torquay for the children.’
‘You shouldn’t spend your own money on them.’
‘I wanted to, sir. I bought some wool to knit them jumpers but that came from the nursery fund.’
