by Rosie Clarke
Having had time to think it over, Jessie’s temper had cooled. Paul Smith’s leaflets were intended to make the workers of the country unite, and that was surely both necessary and worthwhile. Things had been unfairly balanced on the side of the employer for too many years, and that was wrong. What had happened at Harry’s workshops was also wrong, but that didn’t make Paul responsible – or Archie for giving him a job.
Jessie and her aunt were pleasantly tired as they took the tram home, walking the last few yards to their house. Unlocking the door, Elizabeth bent to pick up a letter from the mat as she went inside. She glanced at the name written on it and passed it to Jessie.
‘It’s for you, love, and delivered by hand.’
‘I don’t know the writing,’ Jessie said and wrinkled her nose as she smelled perfume. ‘I’ve smelt that before… it’s the kind of scent Priscilla usually wears. Do you think it can be from her?’
‘I don’t know. Why don’t you open it?’
‘Why would she write to me?’ Jessie asked. She sat down at the table and slit the envelope with a knife as her aunt moved the kettle onto the hotplate over the fire. ‘Yes, it is from her…’ She read swiftly. ‘Priscilla is asking if I have seen Harry. She says he had a terrible row with Mary the night of the funeral and then walked out. They haven’t seen him since…’ Jessie turned the page. ‘She says that she thinks he would have strangled his wife if she hadn’t stopped him, and that Mary has gone to France. She told Priscilla that Harry had run mad and…she wasn’t coming back to that house ever again. She didn’t take Catherine with her. She doesn’t want her.’
‘Well, I never,’ Elizabeth said and sat down. She shivered as a chill went down her spine. ‘I never heard of such goings on. A mother abandoning her child like that! What a wicked woman she must be. They must be a strange family, Jess. It may be just as well that you left when you did.’
‘I didn’t leave, Mary dismissed me,’ Jessie reminded her. ‘They must be in terrible trouble down there, Auntie. Mary’s money was keeping them afloat. I don’t know what they will do without her.’
‘That’s hardly your affair, is it? Why did Captain Kendle’s sister think you might know where he is?’
‘I think Priscilla knew there was something between us,’ Jessie said. ‘I’m fairly sure she did. She’s asked if we can meet. She is in London for another three days and then she goes back to Yorkshire.’
‘Do you want to see her?’ Elizabeth was doubtful. ‘You’re putting all that behind you, Jess. Wouldn’t it be better to just say no – tell her that you don’t want to know?’
‘I couldn’t do that,’ Jessie said. ‘I care about them; Catherine and Lady Kendle and Nanny and the others – and I love Harry. I always shall, no matter what.’
‘But he knows where you are, Jessie. If he wanted to see you…’
‘I know.’ Jessie folded the letter and put it in her pocket. She had thought the same thing many times as she lay sleepless in her bed. ‘I’ve told myself that a thousand times since I came home, but it doesn’t change the way I feel. I love him and I want to help his family if I can – besides, I’m worried about him. Where could he have gone all this time? And why did he go?’
‘Now don’t start thinking like that! I can see what’s going on in your mind, Jessie. Even if the quarrel with his wife was over you, he hasn’t come to look for you, has he?’
‘No, he hasn’t,’ Jessie said. ‘Look, I’m going to think about this, Auntie. Priscilla has given me her telephone number. I’ll ring her tomorrow and hear what she has to say…’
*
‘Are you sure you don’t mind me using your telephone, Archie?’ Jessie asked the next morning when she went into the shop. ‘I could use the one at the bakery but it’s so hot in there.’
‘Of course you are welcome to use mine. Surely you know that, Jessie?’
‘Yes.’ She blushed slightly as she saw the look in his eyes. Archie had asked her out a couple of times since she’d been home but so far she had said no. It wasn’t fair to string him along in the circumstances. ‘It’s very kind of you.’
‘Anything you want, anytime.’
Jessie went into the little box-like room just off the shop to make her telephone call. She was conscious of the man in the back room setting his printing press, but she pushed the door to so that he wouldn’t be able to hear her conversation.
Her heart caught as she heard Priscilla’s voice at the other end of the line. ‘Yes, Priscilla Barrington speaking.’
‘It’s Jessie – Jessie Hale.’
‘You got my letter? I’m so angry with you, Jessie. Why on earth did you go off like that without a word to Mother or me? She was terribly upset, and Harry – he nearly went off the deep end!’
‘Harry was upset because I left?’
‘Well, what would you think? Leaving Catherine like that at such a time. It was very bad of you, Jessie.’
‘You don’t imagine I wanted to do it?’
‘I know your aunt was ill but surely Catherine and Harry came first in the circumstances?’
‘My aunt wasn’t ill. Mary threw me out. She said that if I refused to leave at once she would tell the police that I had stolen from her – and she would have told your mother that I had been sleeping with Harry.’
For a moment there was stunned silence at the other end.
‘If that’s the truth – it’s no wonder Harry nearly killed her. He must have got it out of her somehow. I had no idea. We told him you’d had to leave for your aunt’s sake and he was angry and upset, but then something happened. I think Nanny gave him a letter... from you, I suppose?’
‘Yes, of course. Nanny knew the truth and I wanted Harry to know. It broke my heart to leave – and when I saw Harry at the funeral I felt terrible. I wanted to go to him, to comfort him – but how could I?’
‘You were there? Mother thought she saw you at the back of the church but I said she must be wrong.’
‘Lady Kendle was there? I didn’t see her.’
‘She was brought in at a side door because of the chair. You probably couldn’t see from the back of the church.’
‘No. I was behind a stone column. I couldn’t see much but I didn’t want to be seen.’ Jessie paused. ‘Did Harry blame me because I wasn’t there when Jack fell?’
‘No, of course not. It was my fault and I told him so. I’m not sure he will ever forgive me,’ Priscilla said a little sob in her voice. ‘But I shall have to live with that – what I can’t understand is where he is. Have you seen him?’
‘Only at the funeral. I didn’t speak to him and he didn’t see me.’ Jessie felt anxious. She couldn’t believe that Harry would stay away from his home all these weeks. ‘Where can he be? I know he has gone off before – but this is rather a long time, isn’t it?’
‘Yes, too long. I’m really worried about him, Jessie. I’ve never seen him as low as he was after the funeral, even when he was wounded at the end of the war. At first I thought he might have come to you, but there was no message and I knew I had to get in touch with you. Now that we’ve spoken I’ve got a horrible feeling that something is really wrong.’
‘What do you mean?’ Jessie shivered. ‘You don’t think he would… not kill himself?’ Alice’s words after Jack’s death rang in her head – what had Harry to live for now?
‘I don’t know,’ Priscilla said. ‘I really don’t know. I’m worried about my parents. Alice has left them and Catherine is restless all the time. She screams and hits anyone who tries to comfort her. Nanny can’t cope with her. My mother wasn’t well when I left her, but I had to come home because of the children and my husband. I know this is an awful cheek – but you wouldn’t go back, would you?’
‘To Kendlebury?’ Jessie hesitated. ‘I’ve started working for my aunt in her teashop. She needs me.’
‘Catherine needs you more and so does Mother – anyone can work in a teashop, Jessie.’
‘But your mother… she might not wa
nt me around when she knows.’ Jessie took a deep breath. ‘I’m having a child, Priscilla.’
‘Harry’s? Yes, of course it is. Did Mary know? Is that why she got rid of you while she had the chance?’
‘No, she didn’t know,’ Jessie said. ‘I didn’t know myself until after I left Kendlebury. But you see how difficult…’
‘Stuff and nonsense!’ Priscilla said. ‘Mother may pull a face at first but inside she’ll be pleased there’s another baby coming, especially if… but we shan’t get morbid. No doubt Harry will turn up when he’s ready.’
‘Supposing he doesn’t want me to be there when he does?’
‘He has a right to know about the child. Were you just going to forget all about him?’
‘You know I couldn’t do that. I love him and Catherine. It tore me apart to leave when I did.’
‘Then go back, Jessie. Please – just for a little while, until I can find out what has happened to my brother. I’m out of my mind with worry. At least I needn’t worry about my mother if you’re there.’
‘Will you tell her about the baby? If she doesn’t want me I shan’t need to embarrass her.’
‘Yes, of course, if that’s what you want. Can I tell her you will come if she says yes?’
Jessie hesitated, then took a deep breath. ‘I’ll have to find someone to replace me at the teashop, but yes, I will come.’
‘Bless you.’ Priscilla said. ‘You’re wonderful, Jessie. I’ll be in touch – can I telephone you?’
‘You can ring this number and leave a message – just yes or no, that’s all you need say.’
‘I’ll be in touch soon, but if you don’t hear for some reason ring me again.’
‘Yes, I shall,’ Jessie said. ‘You will find him, Priscilla.’
‘My husband is already making inquiries,’ Priscilla said. ‘Don’t worry, Jessie. He can’t have disappeared off the face of the earth – can he?’
Jessie laughed as she was meant to do and then went back into the shop. Archie looked at her and smiled.
‘Everything all right?’
‘Yes, thank you, Archie. Mrs Barrington – Priscilla – may telephone with a message for me. Is that all right?’
‘Yes, of course,’ he said, and then came towards her. ‘I’ve been wanting to ask, Jessie. Now that you’re back… could we… I mean would you come out with me sometimes?’
‘I don’t think that’s a good idea, Archie.’
‘You know I think the world of you.’
‘You might not in a few months’ time,’ she told him. ‘I’m sorry, Archie. I’m in love with someone else and I’m having his child.’
Archie stared at her and she saw the hurt in his face. For a moment he seemed as if he didn’t know what to say, then, ‘Will he marry you?’
‘I don’t know,’ Jessie answered honestly. ‘But I can’t marry anyone else. I’m sorry, Archie.’
‘You’ve always been straight with me,’ Archie said. ‘I thank you for that, Jessie – and I want you to know that what you’ve told me changes nothing. I would marry you tomorrow if you wanted me to.’
‘I know and I’m truly sorry it wasn’t you,’ Jessie said. ‘You’re a good friend, Archie.’
Jessie was thoughtful as she walked home. Had she been foolish to let Priscilla talk her into going back to Kendlebury? She would be letting her aunt down, and she wasn’t proud of that, especially after Aunt Elizabeth had been so good to her.
Her aunt looked at her as if she were mad when she told her what Priscilla had asked of her. ‘You won’t go,’ she said. ‘Don’t be a fool, Jess. I didn’t call you a fool when you told me what had happened before, but I shall if you go back there.’
‘I’m sorry, Auntie. I know I’m letting you down.’
‘It’s not me I’m thinking of. Girls for the teashop are ten a penny, though I would have liked it to be you and me – but you’re laying up pain for yourself, Jess. After the way they treated you last time.’
‘That was Mary. She isn’t at Kendlebury now. She went off with her friends to France.’
‘But she can come back whenever she likes,’ Elizabeth Pottersby reminded her. ‘Supposing she does and tells them she wants you out? How are you going to feel then?’
‘I suppose I shall be miserable and wish I’d taken notice of you,’ Jessie admitted. ‘But they need me at the moment. Catherine always needed me and Lady Kendle isn’t well. All this upset is too much for her. I can’t help it if I am a fool, I have to go. I’ll wait until the end of the week. We can find a girl for you in a few days. I’ll show her what to do and then I’ll go – if I’m wanted.’
‘You’ll be wanted,’ her aunt said wryly. ‘There aren’t many as will work for nothing – and that’s what you’ll get from that family.’
Jessie smiled and went to hug her. ‘I love you, Auntie,’ she said. ‘I always have and I always shall – but I have to do this, for myself. I couldn’t rest if I ignored them. I should feel I had betrayed them.’
‘Then you’d better go,’ her aunt said wryly. ‘Maybe I’m as big a fool as you, because there will still be a home here for you if you need it.’
‘Thank you,’ Jessie said. ‘Wish me luck, Auntie?’
‘You’ll need it, my girl!’
*
Jessie couldn’t wait to get back to Kendlebury. The expected message had come that very evening and she rang Priscilla again to tell the family to expect her on Sunday.
When she got off the train Carter was standing on the platform looking for her eagerly. He came to take her cases, three of them this time.
‘Good,’ he said gruffly. ‘You look as if you’ve come to stay.’
‘I hope so,’ Jessie said and smiled. ‘Until I’m thrown out anyway.’
‘I don’t think that will happen again,’ he said. ‘You were daft to go quietly, lass. You don’t know your own worth, that’s your trouble.’
Jessie blinked in surprise but made no comment. She rode in the front seat with him, and as they approached the front drive her heart filled with emotion and she felt the tears prick her eyes.
‘We’re home,’ she said softly. ‘I’ve missed this place, Carter – I’ve missed all of you so much.’
‘And we’ve missed you,’ he said. ‘God knows what would have happened if you hadn’t come back.’
Jessie was out of the car as soon as he stopped and running towards the house. The kitchen door opened as she approached and Maggie came out with Catherine in her arms. She was grinning as she saw Jessie, and the little girl in her arms had started to wriggle and scream. Maggie set her down and Catherine walked unsteadily towards her. Jessie bent down to scoop her up, kissing her and hugging her for all she was worth.
‘Jessie,’ Catherine cried and tears were trickling down her cheeks. ‘Bad Jessie. Not go away… not go away.’
‘No, darling,’ Jessie said and kissed her again, wiping the tears with her fingertips. ‘Jessie has come home. I won’t go away again.’
‘She’s been asking for you ever since you left,’ Maggie told her. ‘We all thought she would forget after a while but she didn’t. Every day she asks for you and she screams when we try to look after her. She knows a lot more than some give her credit for, Jessie.’
‘Of course she does,’ Jessie said. She carried Catherine into the kitchen where Cook and Nanny were waiting for her.
‘Welcome back,’ Cook said. ‘We’ve missed you sorely, lass. Haven’t we, Nanny?’
‘I think Jessie knows that,’ Nanny said and smiled at her. ‘As you see, I’m still here. I couldn’t walk out on them when they needed me – and I knew you’d come back if Miss Priscilla asked you.’
‘I never wanted to leave,’ Jessie said and smiled as Mrs Pearson came in. ‘The bad penny has turned up again.’
Mrs Pearson nodded. She smiled but the warmth didn’t reach her eyes. ‘We can certainly use some help since Alice left us,’ she said. ‘My niece may be joining us soon, but we shall have t
o see. Lady Kendle asked me to wait before I asked her.’
‘I expect someone will be needed to replace Alice,’ Jessie said. ‘I’m just here to help the family until Captain Kendle comes back and things settle down again.’
Mrs Pearson nodded, but her manner wasn’t as friendly as it had been and Jessie wondered if she had been told the truth of the situation. She decided that it would be best to make a clean breast of her news from the start, rather than let suspicion start once she began to show signs of her pregnancy.
‘I have some news for you,’ she said but broke off as Mrs Pearson interrupted.
‘Lady Kendle wanted to see you as soon as you arrived,’ she said. ‘Perhaps you’d better go up to her now?’
‘Can’t she have a cup of tea first?’ Cook said. ‘She’s only just arrived.’
‘I’m only telling you what her ladyship said.’
‘I’ll go up and see her,’ Jessie said. ‘I can come back for my tea later and we’ll catch up on the news then.’ She was going to give Catherine to Nanny but the child clung to her so she changed her mind. ‘No, I’ll take her with me. She should visit her grandmother more.’
If she was going to work here, she would do it on her terms this time, Jessie thought. No more hiding Catherine away when people came to the house. She was Harry’s daughter and she was entitled to the love and care that had been denied her for most of her life.
Lady Kendle was sitting in her wheelchair by the window. She turned her head, looking eager when Jessie walked in.
‘I saw you arrive,’ she said. ‘Oh, good, you’ve brought Catherine to see me. I haven’t seen her for ages. I think they all thought it might be too much for me, but I enjoy seeing her. I expect she is happy to have you back. I was reluctant to ask you to come back, Jessie, but I knew Catherine must be suffering. Nanny is too old to look after her and Maggie is too rough to help me.’ She smiled oddly. ‘I’m afraid we’re a selfish family. We had no right to ask this of you – we can’t even pay you very much. Certainly not what Mary was giving you.’
