by Violet Duke
God, she missed them.
CHAPTER THREE
AT 7 P.M. ON THE DOT, Tessa walked into the small Italian eatery and found Brian leaning against the wall near the entrance, looking like Johnny Lumberjack with his sexy, golden brown hair and scruffy five oâclock shadow. When he spotted her, he smiledâthe first smile heâd ever directed her way, she realizedâ¦and she nearly swallowed her tongue.
Didnât help that those deep, teal blue eyes of his stayed locked on hers, instead of doing that scan-her-body-to-check-out-the-goods thing she was used to from the few blind dates sheâd been on.
This wasnât a date!
Right. She had to remember that.
âHey, Tessa. You look great. Your wounds healing up okay?â
Oh dammit. Date or not, she was toast.
âTheyâre fine. Thanks. Just a few bumps and scrapes.â
His hand just barely ghosted over the middle of her back as he stepped to the side and pulled open the door for her. âThanks for letting me pick the restaurant tonight. I donât get out to actual restaurants all that much but this is one Iâve always wanted to try. Have you eaten here before?â
âA few times.â After they made their way to the first open table and at least three workers said hello to her, she admitted quietly, âOkay, thatâs a lie. Most of the workers who answer the takeout line know me by voice.â
That earned her a low, deep chuckle from him and she felt the air in her lungs getting lost on its way to her brain. Quickly, she flicked her menu up to avoid the possibility of conversation while her brain gasped for the return of oxygen for its malfunctioning neurons.
When the waiter came and addressed her by name, she avoided making direct eye contact with the smile begging to be let loose at the corner of Brianâs mouth.
âIâm still looking,â she fibbed quietly. âYou can get his order first.â
After he requested the pollo carciofi pasta, she finally put down the menu sheâd only been pretending to read. âCould I just get a slice of Nonnaâs ricotta pie and a slice of the Tuscan spinach pie?â
When she saw Brian curiously reach for the menu again with a puzzled look, she stopped him and pointed at the chalkboard by the cash register. âThose are the dessert specials this week. I, errr, already ate dinner.â
A mild look of exasperation overtook his features.
Thank goodness, they were back to their status quo.
âYou told Skylar you werenât going to be hungry until seven.â
âIâm usually not,â she defended, picking up her water glass to take a parched sip. âBut I seem to be able to eat hotdogs at any time of the day.â
She crunched down on some ice during the awkward pause that followed.
âDo you always give responses that only make sense to you?â
She thought about that for a moment and replied in all seriousness, âMore than I intend to, probably. But I also think you bring it out of me more than most for some reason.â
His smile was back again. âFair enough. Okay, so if I ask you to answer in the form of a complete short essay so Iâll fully understand you, could you tell me whatâs with the whole eating a hotdog before meeting me for dinner thing?â
Now she was smiling along with him. He was so darn easy to like, and surprisingly patient considering how easily she seemed to bug the crap out of him.
âSometimes I hang out at the lumberyard where my dad used to work so I can watch the sunset from the top of the lumber stacks. And when I do, I always drop off a hotdog for my dadâs old boss, Frank. He doesnât know that itâs actually a low-cal, healthy mostly-veggie dog, which is why he always lights up like a kid on Halloween when I bring it over. Which is why I try and go pretty regularly. And I dunno, I just always automatically bring one for myself too. To keep the tradition alive, I guess.â
Sheâd noticed Brianâs eyes darken with sympathy when she first mentioned her dad in the past tense, and she mentally prepared herself for the question.
âSo did your sister inherit her HD gene from your dad?â
âYes. His was adult-onset obviously, but Willowâs JHD symptoms started when she was in middle school. Maybe thatâs why Iâm especially meddlesome in Skylarâs case. Sorry.â And she was, really.
Since the concession seemed to earn her some respect points from him, she opted for full disclosure. âTo be clear though, Iâm just sorry youâre upset, not sorry that Iâm answering all her questions.â
He frowned. âJust when we were starting to get along.â
They quieted as their food arrived, both leaving their plates untouched in an unspoken agreement that theyâd get this hammered out first.
The moment the waiter left, Tessa had no problem starting them off. âAbby mentioned you were thinking of doing the testing last year. Whyâd you change your mind?â
âSkylar had been showing some symptoms that we thought could be JHD then. Symptomatic genetic testing, the doctors and I were on board with. But now that sheâs been symptom-free for months, weâve decided against it.â
âExactly. She didnât decide. You all did.â
âSheâs not old enough to make this decision. Iâve read the studies; the youngest age they typically allow a minor to make this decision is fifteen, if that. Sheâs just barely thirteen, way too young, too emotionally ill-equipped.â
âBrian, Skylar has questions that need to get answered.â
âBy me, or her doctors. Not by youâno offenseâor some random websites.â
âAt least the websites I directed her to were reliable, accurate, and just as importantly, non-persuasive. Youâre fooling yourself if you think she hasnât been reading up on every single thing about HD and JHD sheâs been able to find on the internet.â
That made him pause with what looked like a flash of pained panic before he maintained, âYou still had no right to be advising her about genetic testing behind my back, Tessa.â
Okay, sheâd give him that. âYouâre right. While I think itâs important for Skylar to have someone to talk to and ask questions of beyond her current bubble, it was irresponsible of me not to have checked to be sure that you were at least aware of the situation. I know youâre going through this as much as she is.â
âNow thatâs just unfair,â he sighed, leaning back and breaking into one of the dinner rolls at the table. âIf youâre going to be logical and respectful for a shocking first, I donât know how I can keep arguing with you.â
She chuckled. âI have my moments.â Seeing the worry still hiding behind his banter, she reassured him, âI swear, Iâm just listening and answering questions. Iâm not advising her in any way. I would never steer her in a direction that would be harmful to her, and I think you know that.â
The stubborn man offered no more than an acquiescent half-nod.
âAre you going to fight me on this the entire time?â she asked, trying to hide the smile in her voice. Usually, confrontation was not her thing, but for some reason, the prospect of continuing to face off with Brian sounded fun.
âAre you going to continue to be a pain in my ass by answering her questions, regardless of what I say?â he returned, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
âYes.â
âThen yes, I hereby reserve the right to be an obnoxiously overprotective dad about all of this whenever the mood strikes me.â
âSo, just to get this recorded on the minutes, basically, weâve just agreed to keep doing things exactly as weâve been doing them?â
Breaking out into an amused grin, he conceded, âYes. Now letâs eat before my food gets cold, and yours gets warm.â
> She grinned. Smartass.
Enjoying herself more than sheâd intended to, more than it was probably advisable to, she grabbed her knife to cut each pie in half lengthwise before taking a bite of first the creamy ricotta pie, and then the spongy, almondy spinach pie.
âSo tell me more about your dad,â said Brian, between bites of his chicken and artichokes. âYou mentioned a lumberyard. Was he in construction?â
âYep. Right out of high school, all the way up until he first started showing signs of chorea spasms in his hands. Thatâs when Frank hired him as the security guard for the lumber yard. The hours were perfect since he and I used to switch off taking care of Willow. And it was a way for him to stay close to the trade.â She smiled softly. âSince Frank rents out construction equipment as wellâmostly small excavators, tractors, and thingsâsometimes, dad would get to work the equipment to check them before and after rentals, or during maintenance. I saw him at it a few times when I went to drop off food for him. I used to love just watching him. It used to make him so happy. He didnât have a whole lot left to be happy for, so I will always be eternally grateful to Frank for that.â
âHence the hotdogs,â editorialized Brian.
âThatâs right,â she grinned in surprise, âI do believe the hotdog tradition started soon after that. But the lumber stacks at sunset was actually my dadâs tradition. My dad used to take his break around sunset and go sit up on the tallest stack to just watch the view. Once, Willow and I went up there with him. Frank and the guys rigged one of the forklifts so my dad could help Willow up. I still remember how tickled she was to ride the forklift, and how much the three of us had laughed up there. The guys had to bring out the flood lamps to help us down since weâd stayed up there until well after dusk.â
Blinking herself back to the present, she felt the pain come as it always did at the memories. âNot long after she died, it was my dad who got the ride up the forklift to sit beside me.â With a silent breath, she held back the tears she never ever allowed herself to shed. âAnd now itâs just me up there. No forklift.â
HEâD NEVER BEEN on this side before.
It was a startling revelation, really.
All these years, heâd always been on the receiving end of the âIâm so sorrys.â Oh, heâd said his fair share before, meant every one. But not like this. Not for a pain right before his eyes that rivaled, if not eclipsed his own.
For the first time, he heard the âIâm sorryâ for the actual apology that it was. He wanted to apologize to her for not being able to ease her grief, apologize for not having the perfect thing to say that could make it all better again, apologize for the universe being the cruel and unyielding bastard it could be.
Brian couldnât imagine losing two loved ones that close together. By Connorâs estimation, Tessa had been just twenty years old when her sister died, and a brand new adult with a lifetime of hurt already when her father died shortly after. Honestly, if heâd lost Beth at that age, it probably wouldâve broken him. Losing a second loved one soon after wouldâve been inconceivable.
âIâm so sorry, Tessa.â
âI know,â she said softly. âMe too.â
It wasnât the standard response. Or even a logical one. In fact, it was one of those answers theyâd talked about earlier, the ones that seemed to only make sense to her.
Except this one, he actually got.
They sat in a comfortable silence for a bit, finishing their meals. By the time he was done, he saw that sheâd only managed to finish half her pies. Lightweight, he chuckled to himself. Skylar and Abby would each be on their second helpings by now if given half the chanceâsugar junkies that they were.
âWhat are you smiling at?â she asked, eyes dancing in amusement. âNo fair hoarding all the happy thoughts.â
âI was just thinking that you need to train with Skylar and Abby. A few days with the sugar twins and youâll be able to whack those two pies and then some.â
A surprised laugh tinkled out of her then. âYou think I canât finish these pies?â
Christ, he loved that laugh.
âI could give the sugar twins a run for their money, thank you very much. Especially when it comes to pies. Seriously, give me a pie over cake and ice cream any day.â Still chuckling to herself, she leaned over and slid the plates forward. âI was just saving the rest for you to try.â
He wasnât at all prepared for the warm thump he felt in his chest.
âYou are unlike anyone Iâve ever met,â he told her, shaking his head. âYouâre always surprising me.â
âLet me guess, you hate surprises,â she teased.
He picked up his fork to take a chunk of the odd, green pie and then slid the rest back to her to finish. âNot so much anymore.â
The brief moment they seemed to be having was pierced like a bubble at the sudden sound of a familiar musical medley he couldnât quite place.
âThatâs me.â Tessa grabbed her phone, with its classic Rosie the Riveter âWe Can Do It!â decal proudly displayed on its back. She furrowed her brow in non-recognition at the screen and then answered it anyway.
Her sad frown soon after, followed by a firm, âIâll be right there,â instantly had him on alert.
Why he felt so overwhelmingly protective of a woman he barely knew, he had no idea. âEverything okay?â
âIt will be. Iâm afraid I have to cut our dinner short. Normally I wouldnât ask, but do you think you can follow me back to my place and then drive me over to Cactus Creek?â
âNow?â Brian checked his watch. Damn, theyâd been talking for hours. âMost everything there will be closing by midnight.â
âI know but a friend of mine is sloshed drunk at a bar and I need to drive him home.â She headed quickly out to the parking lot. âIf you canât, itâs no big deal. I can call a cab to meet me at my apartment.â She was already pulling out her cell phone.
And that bugged him to no end.
âNo, itâs alright. Iâll take you. Skylar is at a sleepover so Iâm free. Let me help.â His eyebrows shot up when he saw her climb into an old grandpa Rambler wagonâ¦which had what sounded like a hemi engine.
Honestly, the woman just didnât have a normal bone in her body.
âThanks, Brian. Okay, just follow me.â
A frighteningly quick minute laterâspeed limits were apparently a laughable suggestion and yellow lights a dare for Tessaâshe was parked and climbing into Brianâs SUV. âDo you know the way to One-Eyed Snake?â
âThe biker bar?â Geez, never a dull moment.
âYup. My friend Isaac does this sometimes, and since I programmed my number into his cell phone under the name âIf Iâm Drunk Off My Ass,â if heâs ever too drunk to drive, I occasionally get a call from a bartender to come get him.â
âIs your friend an alcoholic?â
She shook her head sadly. âNo, nothing like that. Not even close. Heâs just a good guy in a world of pain.â
So a fellow kindred soul, then.
Brian took the highway exit towards Cactus Creek in silence. He was accustomed to the larger than life, bubbly Tessa. This quiet, sad side of her tugged at his heart. While also captivating him all the more.
âIsaac and I met in a grief group,â she revealed in the silence. âHe lost his younger brother around when I lost Willow. We became friends right off the bat. Weâre not the talk-all-the-time sort of friends like you and Abby are, but if ever I get a call from a bartender, I always go running.â
Somehow, that didnât surprise him.
They pulled into the parking lot of the rustic bar and she hopped ou
t before he even shifted into park. âI got it from here, Brian. Thanks for driving me. Iâll call you sometime this week so we can talk about the whole HD testing thing some more. Sorry we didnât get toââ She frowned and backed up when he got out of the car. âWhat are you doing? You can head home. I promise, Iâve got it from here.â
Yeah, like he was really going to let her go into a biker bar alone. The fact that she looked so damned surprised that he wasnât leaving her there shot another dart into his chest. âCome on, letâs go get your friend.â
With a resigned shrug, she turned and just headed on in. As if her serene smile, Smurfs t-shirt, and frayed denim skirt over backless sneakers werenât the most misplaced thing in the joint.
She was driving him nuts.
As she headed for the bar, the tatted-up bartender looked up, one eyebrow raised. âI take it youâre âIf Iâm Drunk Off My Ass?ââ His glance swept over her up and down, and Brian felt his hackles rise.
âDamn, you are as sweet and delicate as you sounded on the phone. I was hoping, but at the same time not. You do know that Isaac rode his Harley down here, right?â
âThe V-Rod is his usual bar-going ride of choice,â she replied matter-of-factly, scanning the room for her friend and finding him in the corner, all but passed out.
âAlright,â said the bartender, shaking his head and handing her Isaacâs phone, but holding onto his keys. âI donât normally allow this but I can lock his bike up in the back for you until tomorrow afternoon.â
She gave him a surprised smileâdamn near lighting up the whole room in the processâand scooped Isaacâs keys from his hands. âThank you but I got this. I can ride. Plus, thatâs Isaacâs brotherâs bike. I canât let it out of my sight.â
A measured pause, and then, âIs that the brother heâs been talking about all night?â
She nodded.
The bartender gave a quiet look of sympathy. âOkay then. You sure you can handle it? Thatâs a lot of bike.â