by Violet Duke
Desire.
This wasnât the frustrating tension from the brief hook-ups and clumsy fumblings Iâd already experimented with. Those encounters left me feeling empty and unsatisfied, but this was something deeper, a strange awareness that seemed to flood my whole body, a magnetic pull towards him, as if my flesh and bone knew something I hadnât yet discovered for myself. And once that flame flickered to life, I couldnât damp it down again. That wanting haunted me all summer long, every time our eyes met, like a secret you have to tell.
It was inevitable. Even I knew it. You canât resist an ache like that, so I made a deal with myself, building up my walls so I wouldnât be the one to get hurt. It would be simple. Clean. One night, thatâs all Iâd have, and then heâd be gone, back to his golden, shining life, and Iâd carry on as normal. Curiosity sated. Safe again.
And my plan workedâat first. I had my perfect night with him, and the next morning, I kissed his cheek and slipped away while he was still sleeping, making the long walk back to my rundown house alone in the pale dawn light. I told myself that Iâd gotten everything I wanted. He left town that day with the rest of his family, and my life went on.
Except nothing was the same again.
Thatâs the dangerous thing about tasting something so perfect. I found out the hard way that once Iâd had a glimpse of that beauty, even for a brief moment, it broke my heart a little every day to go without. The world shone dimmer, every kiss felt like a faded Xerox, and in the dark of the night, I couldnât stop my dreams from taking me back through the years, to the one time I finally felt whole in somebodyâs arms.
âBrit!â Garrettâs yell cuts through my memories. âGet your butt out here, weâre drowning.â
I haul myself up and head on out to the bar, now busy and buzzing with the evening crowd. âNew girl not working out?â I ask, scooping up empty glasses from the bar.
âSheâs⦠still finding her feet.â Garrett hedges, but soon itâs pretty clear Jade wonât be sticking around any longer than the rest. Either the poor girl is a naturally lousy waitress, or sheâs too busy swooning over Garrett to pay attention to her tables. Iâm the one left to pick up the slack, rushing around to keep up with the crowds, refill drinks, and get food orders out from the kitchen in some state resembling what the person wanted.
âWho ordered the cheeseburger?â I call across to Jade, when the plateâs been sitting untouched on the hatch for five minutes. âBecause they better want it cold, with a side of soggy fries.â
She waves absently. âThe guy at the bar.â
âThatâs me. Behind you,â he adds helpfully
My heart leaps. Of course heâs shown up here. That man doesnât know when to quit.
I turn. Hunter is sitting at the end of the bar, one hand wrapped around a bottle of beer. I slam the plate down in front of him. He takes one look and winces. âDamn, darlinâ. I know youâre trying to chase me off, but messing with a manâs burger? Thatâs just low.â
I shrug, but my pulse is racing. Even in the dim lights of Jimmyâs, with bad rock music on the jukebox and peanut shells on the floor, Hunter looks like heâs stepped off a yachtâsix foot two of tanned, preppy gorgeous.
Donât forget âway out of your league.â
âFeel free to go someplace else,â I tell him, turning my glare all the way up. Iâve sent guys running with this stare: prize street fighters and burly dock workers all wilting under my wrath.
But Hunter doesnât flinch.
âNah, I like the service here. Itâs so⦠unpredictable.â He reaches for a fry, and I canât stop my gaze following the elegant line of his forearm: all tanned sinew, dusted with golden hair.
I stifle a sigh. He may be driving me crazy with irritation right now, but Hunterâs body is a work of art. At least, it was when he was nineteen.
And now�
âI work here,â I remind him, snapping out of my haze.
âIâm not stopping you.â He grins. âI think that couple in the corner are ready to order.â
I turn. Theyâre gesturing to me, looking annoyed. âThere goes my tip,â I grumble, going over to deal with them, but when I return, Hunter is exactly where I left himâexcept now heâs talking up a storm with Garrett.
âYour buddy here says youâve got the day off Monday,â Hunter gives me a teasing grin. âHow about that date then?â
âTraitor,â I hiss at Garrett.
âWhat?â Garrett protests, âYou do. Iâm not going to lie for you.â
âSome buddy.â
I join him behind the bar to pour some sodas, but Hunter is still watching me, too close for comfort. âCan I get you anything?â I spit, sarcastically.
âJust a date,â Hunter says with a grin, âIâll leave the rest up to you. I bet youâve got some things youâd like to doâ¦â
I fumble under his gaze and spill soda all over my shirt. âNow look what youâve made me do!â I exclaim, frustrated. I donât stick around to hear his protests of innocence; I storm away, down the hallway and into the storeroom, where I know Iâve stashed a couple of spare tanks for emergencies like this.
I strip off my damp shirt, cheeks hot with embarrassment. How am I supposed to focus on anything with him there, just⦠watching me? Every move the man makes, itâs like heâs some designer ad campaign come to life, so relaxed and easy, and meanwhile Iâm acting like the stupid klutz, yelling at people and spilling stuff everywhere because I canât stay cool knowing heâs in the building.
Damn him, and his endless confidence.
âBrit?â The door opens, and before I can grab another shirt, Hunter steps inside the small room. His eyes widen at the sight of me stripped to my skirt and bra. âOh, shit, Iâm sorry!â
My pulse kicks. My first instinct is to dive behind the shelves, but then I see the expression on his face. Heâs frozen, drinking in the sight of me, something bright and rapturous in his eyes.
Itâs the first time Iâve seen him shaken since the moment he stepped out onto that rooftop last night, and Iâm sure as hell going to make the most of it.
âHeard of knocking?â I ask calmly. I slowly stroll over to the far shelf to grab a fresh tank top, taking my sweet time to pull it from the bag and shake it out. I glance back at Hunter. Heâs still staring at me, looking like I just whacked him over the head with a two-by-four.
I hide a grin. âOr, you know, giving a girl some privacy?â I finally gesture for him to turn.
âOh. Sure. Yeah.â He snaps out of his daze, spinning quickly to face the wall.
I pull on the shirt, giving silent thanks I picked a cute bra today: black lace with a purple trim I sewed myself, delicate and daring all at the same time. Itâs a cheap shot, getting the upper hand like this, but Iâll take any advantage I can get when Hunter can slay me with a single smile.
âYou can look now,â I tell Hunter, smug, but when he turns back to me, that casual grin is back on his face. Heâs pulled himself back together, and my brief victory is nothing but a memory.
âCute bra,â he smirks. âIs that one of your designs?â
I yank my shirt down and refasten my apron. âYou a fashion expert now?â
âI know my way around a pair of panties,â Hunter winks, and despite myself, I smile. âHow about you give me a private show sometime?â
His gaze slips over me like honey, and I canât stop myself imagining what it would feel like for his hands to follow their same path. Slipping my lacy straps aside, peeling the soft silk over my body, easing the lace down my thighsâ¦
I shiver.
I ca
nât. Itâs too dangerous. As much as having the old charming, gorgeous Hunter back was a problem, this is so much worse. Because this isnât just a handsome boy here in front of me, itâs a devastatingly sexy man.
Who knows what pleasure heâd show meâor what havoc heâd wreak?
I force myself to focus on that, the bitter aftertaste any kiss would leave. âYou donât get a hint, do you?â I snap. âIâve told you a hundred times to just leave me aloneââ
âNo.â Hunter interrupts me, moving closer. Suddenly, heâs just inches away, so close I can feel the warmth radiating from his body. So close that thereâs no mistaking the dark intensity in his eyes. âYou havenât. Youâve bitched, and bantered, and turned me down. But youâve never told me to go.â
My breath catches. Hunter stares down at me, determined, the chiseled planes of his face shadowed in the dim storeroom light. âSay it,â he demands. âIf you want me to go, just tell me, and I swear Iâll never bother you again.â
I open my mouth. The words are there, so simple on my tongue, but nothing comes out. One simple lie, thatâs all it would take, and Iâd be free from him forever.
But itâs still a lie. I canât do it, not to him. Not when Hunter is the only truth Iâve ever known.
I exhale a slow sigh and press my lips shut in defeat.
Silence.
Thereâs a beat, and then victory blazes, fierce in Hunterâs eyes.
âBrit,â he whispers. I wait for him to make his move, breath catching in my throat, but instead of a rough hold, he reaches for me gently, lifting one hand to touch my face in a slow, sweet caress.
I tremble. His fingertips softly stroke the outline of my jaw, like heâs memorizing every contour, watching me so closely that I feel more naked than when I was half-dressed.
Itâs too much. I try to turn my head away, but he gently takes hold of my chin and keeps my face steady in place, so I have no choice but to meet his eyes again and lose myself in that piercing blue stare.
He sees right through me.
I canât fight it with a quip or a barbed comment. I canât break away. His eyes demand everything from me, and I have no choice but to surrender. I feel naked, stripped bare, like all my fears and dreams and insecurities are right there for him to see. The worst of me, my darkest secrets.
Still, he doesnât look away.
The moment stretches, nothing but the sound of his slow, steady breaths and my heartbeat, drumming faster in my ears as his fingertips continue their slow, agonizingly sweet discovery. My blood rises under his touch. Every movement, every whisper of sensation on my skin sends a new shiver through me, a ripple of something so fragile and tender Iâve never known before. Iâm lost in the moment, everything around us falling away until my universe is nothing but the feel of his fingertips on my cheek and the endless blue of his eyes, and the heat of his breath whispering as he slowly, slowly closes the few tortured inches of space between us.
His lips meet mine.
Oh God.
Itâs the kiss Iâve been waiting three long years to taste again, but itâs like nothing I imagined. Sweet and soft, hot and slow. My eyes drift shut with bliss as his mouth dances softly over mine. Heâs barely touching me, but the shudder of pleasure that rolls through me is enough to make my heart stop and my legs buckle. Hunter wraps an arm around my waist, holding me up, and I sway into him, lost in the darkness. Iâm drowning, overcome by the sweet torment of his lips and the feel of his body, so solid and strong against me.
Hunter pulls me closer and slips his tongue into my mouth, gently probing, teasing, tasting. I hear a sob rise in the back of my throat, a whimper of desire that sounds as if itâs from far away. My head is spinning, a dizzy sweetness rushing through my whole body, and with every new touch, it coils tighter, deep in the heart of me, aching for more.
I need him.
I arch against his body, lost in the slow stroke of his tongue on mine, but itâs not enough. Itâll never be enough.
More.
I reach up, pulling him closer, hungry to feel the broad planes of his shoulders under my hands and the hot taste of his kiss, deeper, strongerâ
Hunter steps away.
What?
I feel a shock of cold air where his body used to be. My eyes snap open and I gasp for breath, confused to find him standing just a few inches away. Heâs watching me again with that inscrutable stare, so I reach for him, but he catches my hands, keeping me back at armâs length.
âDinner, Monday.â Hunter says, and I marvel how he can seem so composed. That kiss has left me reeling, but he barely has a hair out of place. âIâll call you.â
He turns my hands over to plant a soft kiss on each palm and gives me a smile, crooked and laced with promise. Then heâs gone, leaving me to sag back against the shelves in wonder.
What the hell was that?
CHAPTER FOUR
HUNTER
I COULDNâT BELIEVE IT, seeing her again.
I should have known, coming back to Beachwood Bay, but somehow, I talked myself out of hoping sheâd still be here. A girl like that, she wouldnât stick around in a small town like this, not a moment more than she had to.
A girl like that was born to be free.
I liked to think of her sometimes, when I was stuck in class at Yale, listening to my boring professors ramble on about old, dead guys and their meaningless arguments. Iâd gaze out the window, and imagine her off, hitchhiking across the country, maybe, or working in a beach shack in California, or up in the mountains of Colorado. She could go anywhere. Do anything. But now here she is, looking as beautiful as the day I saw her last: still burning that angry fire in her dark eyes, still running away from me so fast youâd think I was the one who broke her heart, instead of the other way around.
I walk out of that storeroom still tasting her on my lips, still feeling the curves of her body, so goddamn soft and sexy against me.
Brittany Ray.
Goddamn.
I stand in the parking lot, feeling like someone just knocked me out for the count. A dozen questions whirl in my mind. Why is she still here? Has she thought of me, even once, during the last three years?
How can a single kiss do this to me?
But most of all, I realize, I want to know who the hell put that expression in her eyes: the empty, aching bitterness that she hides behind her sarcasm and smiles. All this time, Iâve been imagining her out there, happy and free. Now I know sheâs anything but.
Whoever they are, they better watch out. Because I sure as hell have some words for them. Words that start and end with the sound of my fists.
Brittany Ray.
I feel my heart pound, from shock and exhilaration and something more. The softness of her touch, the memory of her kiss.
Goddamn.
I shake my head and start walking.
BY THE TIME I make it back to the ranch itâs after eleven. The property sits, dark and still, the only light coming from the ranch handâs cottage out on the edge of the field. Jake, my new hire, is probably watching ESPN reruns and drinking beer. I think about stopping by to join him, but Iâm not in the mood. Iâm too caught up in what just happened, with that heavy load of guilt, always sitting like iron in the back of my mind.
I make the rounds, checking the horses in the stable, testing the new gates in the paddock as I go. The smell of fresh paint is still lingering everywhere, mixing with the scent of hay and dirt and horse and country air.
Smells like home.
I have to grin at that. My mom would flip if anyone dared suggest the great Camille Covingtonâs perfect Charleston mansion smelled like an old stable, but even though I grew up in that house, it was never home to me. No, home was Grandpa Earlâs ranch, out here in the country. Every summer we got
to spend here was like a gift: a whole month when we didnât have to take tennis lessons at the country club, or dress for dinner, or stand around politely at my parentsâ stuffy cocktail parties. A whole month when my brother and I werenât paraded for the guests, like a prize theyâd bagged on safari, some trophy to show off to prove their status as society elite. Jace was happy to play along, he always did anything to make them proud, but I never could stand it. I was the one sneaking out the bathroom window at the Governorâs Christmas party, or getting caught with one of the debutantes in the cloakroom closet.
Hell, sometimes I got caught with two.
Growing up in that house, life was full of rules and expectations and disappointment, but out here on the ranch, none of that mattered anymore. I learned it was all just static, a world my parents and brother may have bought into, but one that I didnât need. Let Jace be the Golden Boy, stand beside our father at board meetings, and make small talk with my motherâs DAR friends; I was happy with the land and the horses and the distant horizonâand I swore I would leave all of their bullshit behind the first chance I got.
Except it didnât turn out that way. Not even close.
My cell starts ringing as I head back to the main house. I know whoâs calling, but guilt makes me pick up, all the same.
âWell, have you come to your senses yet?â Her voice rings with disapproval, clear down the line from Charleston.
âMomâ¦â I sigh, letting myself in. I flip the lights on, illuminating the homey, rustic main room still filled with grandpaâs old furniture and wood beams overhead. The main ranch house is open-plan, with a huge open fireplace dominating the room, and windows that look out over the paddock and fields.
âI canât understand why youâd just take off like this, not even say goodbye.â Mom continues, âAfter we came all the way up for your graduation.â
âI told you not to,â I remind her. âWhatâs the use of some stupid ceremony when I already finished the credits? Itâs all just for show.â