by Violet Duke
My phone buzzes and with shaky hands I knock it over. I nab it quickly, and when I see itâs Brad, relief envelopes my whole body.
âGabby?â The voice doesnât belong to Brad.
âWho is this?â
âGabby, this is Bradâs brother, Matt.â No, please no.
âWhereâs Brad. Is he okay?â
âSomethingâs happened, Gabby.â
I fall to the ground, and my next words are but a whisper. âIs he alive?â
âYes, but heâs pretty badly hurt.â
âWhere is he?â
âHeâs at New York Presbyterian. Heâs in the Intensive Care Unit.â
âIâll be right there.â I hang up and drop to my knees. Itâs happening all over again. I have to get to him. Tears are streaming down my cheeks and they wonât stop. Silently, I offer up healing prayers. Please be okay, Brad. Please be okay. You have to be okay. I love you.
Pushing on Franâs shoulder, I jolt her awake. âFran, itâs Brad.â
Only tears break the silence.
*
FRAN AND I run through the hospital doors like freaking lunatics. Out of breath, I try and get the words out to one of the three people sitting behind the desk. âWhere…isâ¦the Intensive Care Unit?â
A nurse with soft hazel eyes and a sweet wrinkled face replies, âitâs on the third floor, dear.â
âThank you.â Fran leads me by the hand to the elevators. She says nothing, but continues to hold my hand.
The elevator pings open and we see the sign pointing to the Intensive Care Unit. Sprinting down the hall, we finally make it to the nurseâs station. âIâm looking for Brad Dixon.â
âHeâs unconscious, and weâre letting in very few visitors at this point. Are you family?â
Iâm about to say something, when a deep voice calls out. âThatâs his wife.â
Fran and I whip our heads around to the sound. Matt. It couldnât be more obvious. Except for darker hair and a slight variation in height, theyâre identical. Matt doesnât hesitate. He pulls me into a hug and my tears start anew.
Once Iâm calm, I look over at Fran. âMatt, this is my best friend, Fran. Fran this is Bradâs brother, Matt.â
Fran canât help herself. She does her once over before she speaks. âNice to meet you, Matt.â
Matt gives Fran a second look. Itâs hard not to. âYou, too,â he says.
Fran looks over at me with kind eyes. âIâll be in the waiting room if you need me, sweetie, okay?â
âThanks, Fran.â
Matt leads me through the glass double doors. The moment I see Brad, my legs give out. His eyes are closed and heâs laying on the bed with a bandage wrapped around his head. There are all sorts of tubes protruding from his body. His face is swollen and bruises cover his shoulders and arms. I canât move. Brad. My whole body feels cold, and an ill feeling washes over me as I look at him, helpless and bruised. Teardrops hit the floor and I feel like I can hear them.
Matt raises me off the floor and helps me to a chair. My body is shaking. âIâm so sorry to have to meet you under these circumstances, Gabby.â
Iâm gasping for a breath. âIs he going to be okay? Tell me what happened.â
âI got a call around 9 last night, your time. Apparently, after Brad closed the shop, he was jumped from behind. They took his wallet and beat him up pretty badly. He has some bleeding to his brain, which is why heâs unconscious.â
Jesus. This is all my fault. If I hadnât called him to meet me, this would never have happened. âBut heâs going to wake up, right?â I ask with a jittery voice.
âGabby, the doctors canât say for sure. He was hit pretty hard on the head several times with some sort of blunt instrument.â Matt chokes up a little at that and I canât help but feel sorry for the guy. His mom, his sister, and now his brother?
My hands are quivering uncontrollably and my head falls into my lap. Matt strokes my hair with his fingers. Heâs kind, just like his brother.
I just want to be near Brad. Moving my chair next to the bed, I grab hold of his hand. It feels heavy and limp. Laying my cheek against his arm, I silently offer up more prayers. Please, God, let him wake up. Please let him wake up. He has to wake up. Donât do this to me again. Matt comes and sits by my side, his arm draped around my shoulder. I have no words right now, and donât feel like talking, unless itâs to Brad.
After a few moments, Matt makes his way down to the cafeteria so I can have some time with Brad. I donât know if he can hear me, but I talk to him anyway. I tell him how worried I am, but mostly how much I miss hearing his laugh, seeing his smile, feeling his touch. âI love you, Brad,â I say, resting my head on his limp arm.
Matt taps me on the shoulder, as I must have dozed off. I have no concept of time. He suggests I go home and get some rest, but Iâm not going anywhere. Not without Brad. Iâve already let Robby know I need some time off. Work is the least of my concerns right now.
Iâm so thankful Mattâs here. Being near someone that Brad is close to makes me feel nearer to him. With his mom and sister gone, and his dad nonexistent, Matt is all he really has. Wait, thatâs not true anymore. Now he has me. I just need him to wake up so I can tell him. Tears are forcing their way to the surface again. Why wonât he wake up?
I run my fingers gently across Bradâs cheek. Itâs so swollen. Tears Iâd been holding in fall down my cheeks.
Matt goes over to his bag and pulls something out. âGabby, this was with Bradâs things when they brought him in. It has your name on it.â
I reach out with trembling hands and take the note. Opening the folded paper, I attempt to read the words through a blur of tears.
Dear Gabby,
From the moment I first saw you, I couldnât take my eyes off of you. You took my breath away. Your beauty captivated me, yes, but it was something more. Something about you grabbed hold of me and I didnât want to let go. When you looked up at me and your eyes met mine, it was as if they spoke to me. They told me you needed me. They told me to look inside and come find you, so I did.
As time went on, I found myself wanting to make you smile, wanting to feel your warmth, wanting to hold your hand, wanting to steal your heart. You awakened me. I was unfulfilled. I was lost. But somehow, when you walked into my shop that day, with your quiet confidence and your beautiful smile, you found me. And I found the one person who makes me feel alive. But mostly, I found the woman Iâve fallen in love with. The woman who makes me feel more emotion than I ever thought possible, so much that I sometimes feel as though my heart might float away and carry me along with it. And Iâm willing to go, as long as itâs with you.
Heâs in love with me. I lay my hand on his and stroke it gently, whispering, âI love you too, Brad. I love you. I love you.â
A nurse walks in the room. âI need to make him a bit more comfortable so Iâd like you to step out.â Iâm about to give her my best right hook when she says, âdonât worry, you can come back in soon.â She smiles and I feel okay leaving Brad with her, if only for a few minutes.
Walking out to the waiting room, I find Fran and Kyle sitting together, holding hands. Kyleâs genuine eyes reach me and he walks over and hugs me tightly. âIâm so sorry, Gabby. Bradâs strong, though, and heâs gonna be okay.â
âThanks, Kyle. I appreciate you being here, and Brad would, too.â We all find a place to sit and Fran sits next to me and rubs my back with her gentle hands while I sob quietly. Itâs so soothing. She finally pushes away and looks at my face. âSweetie, you look like absolute shit.â
I make a futile attempt at a smile.
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âWhat are the doctors saying?â She asks tenderly.
âHeâs got bleeding in his brain. We just have to wait and see. They canât make any promises. He was struck on the head pretty hard, so they wonât know anything until he wakes upâ Then I take a deep breath. âIf he wakes up.â
She pats my hand and forces a smile. âGabby. You have to keep the faith. Heâs going to wake up. He has to.â
âGod, Fran, he canât die. He just canât. Itâs like Clark all over again.â
Franâs face grows serious. âNO itâs not, Gabby. Heâs not Clark. Bradâs going to be okay.â
What would I ever do without Fran?
She looks at me, anger consuming her face. âDid they at least get the assholes who did this to him?â
I hang my head. âNo, they got away, and there were no witnesses.â
âFuck,â she says, gritting her teeth. Kyle keeps his hand in hers, steadying her.
I donât care about anything else as long as Brad wakes up. âI just want him to wake up, Fran.â
Fran looks at me with hopeful eyes. âI know, sweetie, I know.â
Taking the letter out of my bag, I hand it to Fran.
âWhatâs this?â she asks.
I canât bear to look at it again, it hurts too much. âJust read it.â
Fran takes a minute to read the note. Her eyes go wide and she puts her head on my shoulder. âJesus, Gabby, heâs so fucking poetic. And heâs head over heels in love with you.â
A tear drips slowly down my cheek. âAnd I with him.â
We sit quietly for a few minutes. Kyle pipes up. âGabby, youâre really pale. Iâm going to run down to the cafeteria to get you something to eat.â
âIâm not hungry, Kyle,â I protest.
âYou have to eat, Gabby,â he says with forceful concern.
âKyleâs right. You have to keep your strength up.â Fran puts her hand on his back.
I feel myself getting worked up, and Iâm starting to bite my nails. I never bite my nails. âFran, whereâs Matt? Maybe heâs trying to reach their dad. I havenât seen the doctors lately either. I wish someone would tell me whatâs going on.â
Fran takes my face in her hands. âGabby, you have to calm down. Youâre exhausted, you havenât eaten, and youâre sick with worry. Thatâs not a good combination.â
Kyle comes back with a cheeseburger, a latte, and a bag of Swedish Fish. I almost smile; heâs so well-trained, but I donât feel like eating any of it. âThanks, Kyle.â
He gives me a kiss on the cheek, sits down next to Fran, and laces his fingers through hers. I need Brad to hold my hand right now.
Fran leans over to me and whispers, âyou need to keep your strength up. How else are you going to be able to show your hot piece of ass how much you love him if youâre withering away?â
âI love you, Fran.â
âI know, sweetie. Oh, I almost forgot, there was a message at home from someone named Edith Hanley.â
âYeah, thatâs the program director from Parsons. I decided to enroll for next year.â
âSweetie, thatâs fantastic!â
It should be, but right now I donât feel very excited. âYeah, I guess.â
Fran and Kyle stay with me a bit longer, but I finally kick them out when the nurse says I can go back in to sit with Brad.
Fran stands up and pulls me into her arms, enveloping me in one of her bear hugs. Tears start to trickle down my cheeks. âLet me know if you need anything at all, okay, sweetie?â
Kyle hugs me and gives me another kiss on the cheek. âKeep us posted, okay?â
âI will. Thanks, Kyle.â
Fran takes my hand and kisses it. âYou need me, Iâm here. Itâs as simple as that. I love you.â
âI love you, too.â
We embrace each other one last time, and then theyâre gone. As I think about Fran, Iâm reminded of how important she is to me. Sheâs my family. The real family that loves and accepts unconditionally. She does that for me. Now I have someone else who does that for me, too. I just need the chance to tell him.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
ITâS BEEN THREE DAYS and no change. The doctors come in and speak with Matt and me about Bradâs prognosis. âWhile heâs been unconscious for a while, he hasnât gotten any worse, and thatâs actually a good sign. And heâs still breathing on his own, which is great.â When they say the word coma, though, I tune them out. Heâs not slipping away from me. I wonât let him. Not this time.
Matt hasnât left his side. His clothes are wrinkled, his face is sagging, and his eyes are lifeless, but all I see is the love he has for his brother. Matt comes over to sit next to me and holds my hand. âBradâs told me so much about you, Gabby. I feel like I already know you.â I just nod my head. âHeâs been in love with you for a long time.â God, Iâm such an idiot.
I brought a book with me today; I thought I could read some of the passages to Brad. Iâm still not sure if he can hear me, but hold out hope that, somewhere deep down, my voice is reaching him. As I read the words, Iâm silently praying he wakes up just like you see in the movies. After six chapters, he hasnât, and my brain clunks me over the head and reminds me that this is real life.
Brad has had several visitors over the past couple of days. Most of them I recognize from The Brew House. I didnât realize what a close knit group they all are, and how much they care about him. It warms my heart.
As the days trickle by, Iâm starting to lose hope that I may ever look into Bradâs eyes again. The eyes that love me. I have to stop myself, though. He just has to come back to me. Taking his hand, I keep it pressed to the slow, steady beat of my heart. Maybe he can feel my love. I hope so. I love you, Brad.
Iâm so tired and Iâve cried so much. My face is tear-stained and blotchy and my eyes only allow in tiny slivers of light. As I stare at the same grey spot on the dingy hospital wall, the one Iâve been staring at for the past three days, Iâm reminded of our kiss, and so desperately want us to go back to the kissing spot so we can do a lot more kissing. There are so many things I want to do with Brad. So much I want to say. Now I just pray I have a chance to do that.
A voice interrupts my thoughts. âGabby.â
I know that voice.
Looking over at Matt, I can see he heard it, too, as he immediately spins his head to the sound. We both move in closer and see Bradâs eyes flicker. Oh my God. Another flicker. Then I see weary brown eyes and I hear singing, but thereâs no music. It must be my heart.
I stare into those loving eyes. Iâve never been so happy in my life. He starts to speak, but I quiet him. I donât want him to speak. I just want him to listen. âI love you, I love you, I love you,â I say as I gently stroke the side of his cheek with my fingers. It comes out in the softest whisper, but I know he hears me. I see a single tear slide down his cheek. I lean forward and kiss it away.
Matt grabs his hand. âHey, bro. You have no idea how glad I am to see you.â
Brad squeezes his hand. âHey, man,â he barely whispers.
Matt runs out to get the doctors. I donât want Brad to talk yet, but he seems desperate. âI was trying to get to you,â he says in a hoarse voice. âI tried to fight back, but I couldnât. Before I blacked outâ¦the last thing I saw was you.â
Iâm crying again and I canât stop. âShhhhhâ¦babe, we can talk later. You need to rest now.â
Two doctors walk in with Matt following close behind. One of the doctors addresses us. âWeâd like you both to step out for a few minutes so we can examine
him and take him down for a scan.â
I lean down and lightly kiss Bradâs hand. âWeâll be right outside, babe.â
âOkay, baby.â
I melt at his words. Heâs alive and heâs going to be okay. My whole world smiles.
Matt and I stand in the hallway in shock for a few minutes after they wheel Brad away. He finally pulls me into a hug and completely breaks down. Itâs his turn to cry and I hold him, stroking his hair, thinking how scared he mustâve been, must still be. Eventually, he pulls away to get us some celebratory coffee while we wait.
I call and update Fran, whoâs on her way, and keep checking my watch as we wait with our nasty hospital coffee for Brad to come back. It seems to take forever. How long can a scan take? Another half hour goes by and we finally see him being rolled down the hall. I stand up and hold his hand, walking with him as the nurses wheel him back into the room.
I kiss his cheek gently. âIâll be right back, babe, I want to talk to the doctors.â
I walk back outside and join Matt.
âThe scan was clear. Thereâs no more bleeding and all of his vitals look good. Weâre going to move him up to a regular room in the morning. We just want to monitor him here overnight. Heâll probably be in the hospital for a few more days, just to be on the safe side.â Relief washes over me. Heâs really going to be okay.
Matt lets out a huge sigh of relief. I hug him and feel relieved not only for myself, but for him as well. âHeâs okay,â I whisper in his ear.
Matt goes to make some calls. I donât actually think he has to call anyone, but just wants to give Brad and me some time alone. Heâs so thoughtful.
Walking back in to the hospital room, Brad cracks a smile. âCome here, baby.â