by Bankes, Liz
It makes me think of bare legs touching.
Chapter 16
Walking along the river in the morning has a way of clearing your head. I breathe in and feel the cool, fresh air bombard every part of me. There are no clouds in the bright sky; it’s gearing up to be another hot day.
I had the day after the picnic off, and Gabi came over. We sat outside in the yard talking and then in the evening watched DVDs in my room and ate our weight in cookies. Gabi’s mom told her the other day that she should have a “life plan,” so most of our conversation was taken up with trying, and failing, to think of one. Gabi’s main ambition when she grows up is to be able to “stalk celebrities easily,” but she hasn’t worked out how that could be a job yet. She’s gotten as far as trying to go on a reality show and “do stuff.” I didn’t ask what “stuff” was.
For my “life plan,” we decided I’d use my new waitress skills to open a café somewhere cool, like Paris. It’d be nice if I could skip straight to that instead of having to go back to school first. But I suppose I can at least keep learning French.
She was hugely excited to hear about the party in the pool house and the weird games and the random kissing. But even as I was talking about it, I noticed I wasn’t really mentioning Jamie.
Throughout the day Gabi tried to wrestle my phone from me to text Dan. I’m not sure what she was intending to say, but she is not to be trusted to do these things on her own. Matthew was in a good mood and brought us snacks, but that’s also because he’s a bit in love with Gabi. We let him sit on the floor and watch DVDs too. When Gabi made another attempt to text Dan, Matthew said, “Can you tell him I’ve got a list of questions for him?” and got a piece of paper out of his back pocket. I couldn’t read most of it, but I could see that the first question was, Did you take Latin? Then Gabi and my brother collaborated, and when I got up to change the DVD, Dan was sent a message that said, Hi sexy, can you name all the kings and queens of England?
Dan brought it up a lot on our late shift together last night. Sometimes work is slow. It wasn’t very busy, and the shift degenerated into a game of dares, which mostly involved eating things. I learned a valuable lesson: eating a teabag is not easy. It was all right for Dan, who just had to eat a flower.
I realize I’m walking along smiling now, remembering how ridiculous he looked. I don’t care. Anyone who’s around in the park to see me must be equally crazy to be up at this time. I feel like running. All the silly stuff about whether this is a “thing” or not doesn’t matter. I like him, and he’s making my summer job fun. I start to break into a run, not caring if I look like a grinning, sprinting lunatic.
My foot collides with something that feels like a soft branch. My main thoughts as I fly through the air and land flat on my face are:
1) This is why it is never a good idea to run.
2) What on earth is a “soft branch”?
3) OW.
I move up onto my knees and look behind me to see what I’ve tripped over.
Jamie is sitting up and staring at me. He’s looking disheveled, and his eyes are only half-open. He’s wearing suit pants and a crumpled shirt with the collar sticking up on one side.
“Do you mind?” he says, his voice sounding deeper than normal. “I was sleeping.”
“On the ground, outside?”
He widens his eyes to wake himself up. “Yes.”
I’m pleased to find him in a similar state to me when I woke up on his sofa.
“How did you end up out here?”
“I had a thing.” He staggers to his feet and looks with surprise at a wine bottle clutched in his hand. “A thing with nice wine. I wish I remembered it.”
I raise my eyebrows at him, really enjoying his pain. He shoots me a frown, but there’s a hint of a smile there.
Jamie strolls beside me as I head to the castle. He doesn’t seem to feel the need to say anything.
“You’re not a fan of small talk, then,” I say as the castle looms into view.
“I’m not.” He smiles at me and we walk on in silence.
I feel the urge to annoy him for some reason. I look over expectantly until he reacts.
“What?” He frowns.
“Try some small talk,” I say, like it’s something really daring.
He sighs. “Fine. Mia, how’s your “—he waves his hand as if he cannot possibly think of anything that my life would involve—“father?”
“Fine, I think. He lives in California. How’s yours?”
“Deeply unhappy and extremely wealthy.”
We continue through the grounds and start along the main driveway. He managed to wander quite a ways from the pool house. I wonder if he was on his own.
“Don’t they mind you having all those parties? Julia told Andreas off for blowing his nose the other day because it would disturb the guests.”
“I’m entertaining the offspring of the guests a lot of the time,” he says dryly. “And I can usually smooth things over the next morning. But it is causing an amusing rift between my parents. Father periodically threatens to throw me out.”
“What does Ju—I mean, your mom think?”
Our feet crunch on the stony path as he considers. I can tell his brain is working more slowly than usual.
“She says I’m blowing off steam before university.”
We’ve reached the front of the castle. I hear a rolling noise above us, and a few seconds later Cleo appears at a window to the right of the huge pillars. Jamie looks upward, shielding his eyes and wincing, like the daylight pains him.
“Oh, you’re alive.” She smiles sarcastically.
“I’ve got an awful headache, if you’d mind not nagging.”
She looks at him, unimpressed, and he blows a kiss at her. She slams the window shut.
Jamie takes a swig from the bottle and makes a face.
“You should have kept it chilled,” I tell him.
He ignores me.
“You should do something nice for her.”
He frowns at me, but still doesn’t say anything.
“Something romantic.”
“Don’t be disgusting, Joseph.”
“Okay, don’t, then.” I start through reception toward the restaurant, and he’s still following me.
“What sort of thing?”
“A nice gesture.”
“Buy her a horse?”
There’s a chance he’s not even kidding.
“No, something personal. Like, take her for a picnic or something.”
“Is that what your boyfriend does?”
“Yes, it is, actually.” I’m not sure why I said that. I thought I should defend Dan.
“How lovely,” he says.
Cleo comes and sits at the bar for much of the day. She’s flipping through a Cambridge prospectus, trying to pick a course. She doesn’t mention Jamie, so I don’t either. However, as it approaches three o’clock, he walks straight past both of us into the kitchen. He’s holding a big wicker basket.
Cleo looks up only briefly, but then continues reading about philosophy. I follow Jamie in.
“What’s the magic word?” Dan is saying, not looking up from the cutlery he’s polishing.
Jamie rolls his eyes. “Please could you, you know, do the thing.” He gestures at the basket.
“I’ll see what we have.” Dan catches my eye and gives me a little smile.
I’m clearing my last table when Jamie emerges, the picnic basket now much heavier.
“Come on,” he says to Cleo, nodding toward the door.
She looks at him, her eyebrows raised.
“I’m going to feed you from a basket. It’s romantic, apparently.”
I look down at the table and smile to myself.
Cleo shuts the prospectus and sighs. “I’ll come if I can bring Mia too.”
Okay, that’s a little weird.
“I can’t,” I say. “I’m busy this afternoon.”
“No, you’re not,” says Cleo. “I he
ard you say earlier you had absolutely nothing to do.”
I try inviting Dan to make things a bit less weird, but he’s going to play rugby. Jamie doesn’t seem bothered either way, and Cleo is fixing me with a look that is pretty hard to say no to.
“Okay,” I say, confused. “That will be nice and not weird at all … I’ll just change and get my stuff.”
The grounds of Radleigh Castle make for a picturesque picnic setting. We sit by a ruined archway that was part of the old outer wall. The strict squares of the back lawns, with their straight paths, colorful flower beds, and elaborate fountain at the center, give way to uneven grass. The archway is on the edge of a hill, which looks down over miles of wild countryside with the river zigzagging through. It makes me wish I were here on my own, rather than sitting in on another couple’s picnic.
Cleo has me on one side and Jamie on the other, and she conducts the conversation like an orchestra, the main part being her, with Jamie and me being brought in when she requires it. So from that point of view I don’t feel like an awkward intruder, at least. More like a person shaking a tambourine occasionally.
Cleo’s phone rings, and within about ten seconds she has called the person an “insufferable bitch” and wandered off to argue with her.
“Her mother,” says Jamie.
He throws something at me that lands on the grass in front of me. It’s the fifty-pence coin.
“What does it say?” he asks.
“Tails,” I tell him.
He looks at me, and his gaze hovers momentarily over my lips.
“Shame,” he says.
Chapter 17
The next day, Julia calls us all together for an announcement.
“In a week’s time, we are hosting a very important event.”
“Oh, a society wedding,” Melanie whispers confidently. She had a few days off “sick” after the phone incident, but came back telling everyone emphatically how great she’s feeling and that she and Simon are in a really, really good place.
“It is Desdemona’s birthday,” continues Julia.
“Right,” whispers Dan. “What milestone age do you suppose she’s reaching?”
“My daughter’s fourteenth birthday,” Julia says, “will be attended by her many friends and, of course, by their parents. I’ll need extra people for serving drinks and a couple more than usual in the kitchen. Since it is not part of your contracted hours, you will get double pay. It shall …” She raises her voice to quell the muttering that’s started up about who’s volunteering. “It shall go off without a hitch.”
I’m on the late shift already on that day, so I head back to the kitchen and avoid the rush for the schedule. Dan follows me, telling me he won’t be working the birthday. He’s off for a few days on a mountain-biking trip.
Julia catches me on our way to start our shift.
“Speaking of birthdays, Mia, there’s a family that’s just arrived with a cake. Go collect it for them.”
I go to the restaurant entrance and hear voices that I’m sure I know but can’t quite place. Then I see the woman coming toward me. She has curly black hair, tanned skin, and is holding a cake box.
“Oh, hello … Don’t I know you?” she says with a slight Spanish accent.
It’s Kieran’s mom. A cold, sickening feeling floods through me.
When Kieran comes through the door, his eyes go wide with shock, but he quickly looks down at his feet and coughs.
We’d become skilled at avoiding each other, and now we’ve been thrown together with no way out.
I wish it were socially acceptable to turn and run when you see people you don’t like.
“Is this one of your friends, Kieran? I’m sure I recognize her.”
Kieran mumbles, “Yeah,” and appears to be finding his shoes fascinating.
“What’s the holdup?” says Kieran’s dad. He turns to me, obviously not remembering me at all. “Five bottles of Moët, please. We have the crypt room reserved—Saunders, for twenty.”
The crypt is a private dining room that still has lots of the original castle stonework and arching ceilings, so people can pretend they are back in medieval times.
I can see other people arriving behind them. Then Jemima, Kieran’s twelve-year-old sister, skips past.
“Hi, Mia,” she says confidently.
“Um, I’m Mia. I’ve come to collect your cake,” I say to his mom and then take it from her, trying not to show that my hands are shaking.
“Mia will be your waitress today.” Julia suddenly appears in full-on lady-of-the-house mode with a gleaming smile. “Ask for anything you like and she will find a way.” She puts her hand on my back and quite forcefully directs me to the kitchen.
It’s a whole family affair, with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, and, worst of all, Kieran’s friends Greg and Cooper. I have to serve them, but I don’t look at them, not once, although I hear Greg snorting with laughter as I walk away. The kitchen is boiling, and I think I’m going to collapse if I don’t go get some air. I announce I’m taking my break now, and I hear Dan asking if I’m okay as I hurry out the door.
I lean against the stone wall at the side of the terrace. If I smoked, this would be a good time to have a cigarette. As I’m thinking that, pieces of ash fall from above me, landing in my hair and on my nose. I look up and there’s Jamie, leaning out a window with a cigarette hanging from his mouth.
“You look angry, Joseph.” There’s giggling from behind him.
“I’m fine.”
I hear the crunch of heels on gravel and see Cleo approaching from the front of the castle.
“Ah,” Jamie says through his cigarette, “darling.” He takes it out of his mouth and pushes someone from behind so that she’s also leaning out the window. She has curly brown hair in disarray and is wrapped in a bedsheet. “I’d like you to meet Patricia.”
“I’m Persephone.”
“As you wish.”
Cleo strides up to me, ignoring him. “I’ll need a gin and tonic,” she says, her eyes flicking upward before registering my face. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Kieran’s here,” I blurt out.
She considers this for a moment. Then she sweeps my bangs across my forehead and takes a few strands of hair out of my clip so they hang around my face. “Well, it’s a good thing you look fucking hot,” she says. Then she undoes the top button on my shirt. “I’ll take care of the rest.”
I have no idea what she means, but I go back in feeling different. Calmer. When I give Greg his dessert, I look straight at him and raise my eyebrows, daring him to laugh again. He’s at the angle where he’d be able to see the top of my boobs, and I see him look. His eyes move quickly back up to my face and I deliberately look disgusted. He turns pink and starts muttering to Cooper as I walk away. I come out of the crypt and into the main restaurant. Through the conservatory I can see Cleo and Jamie in deep conversation.
I turn back and walk straight into Kieran, who’s walking across the restaurant toward the restrooms. He goes straight past me. Cleo moves through the courtyard and past the window, aiming to head him off. I peer through the restaurant door into the corridor where the bathrooms are, trying to see what’s going on without being seen myself. Cleo is talking to him, though I can’t hear what she’s saying, and twisting a strand of hair around her fingers. Then she leans in and whispers something in his ear. Kieran’s eyebrows raise and he looks at her and grins.
I remember that look. The cold panic that’s been underlying all my thoughts since he walked in is replaced by anger. So he just carries on as usual. He isn’t paranoid. He doesn’t stop at every moment and wonder what people will think of him.
Cleo pushes open the door behind him and he goes in. I don’t know if he knows that it’s the girls’ room. Cleo lets the door close and walks back into the courtyard.
“Mia!” It’s Julia. “You’ve already had your break. The table needs clearing.”
Grudgingly, I head back into the
crypt and start loading myself up with plates. Most people left the cake in the end.
Suddenly there’s a scream. Dezzie comes running in, followed by Cleo. Dezzie has tears running down her face.
“What’s the matter?” says Julia, running over.
“It was horrible!” sobs Dezzie. “He was naked and … doing things.” She turns and buries her face in Cleo’s chest.
Then Kieran comes running through the door. He’s obviously just dressed in a hurry, because his shirt buttons don’t match up and he’s wearing only one shoe.
“Wait, wait! It’s not … I thought—”
He sees Cleo standing there with her arm around Dezzie and his mouth drops open.
“You … You said—”
Kieran’s dad, his face bright red, stands up. “What on earth is going on?” he blusters, sending a shower of spit everywhere.
Cleo speaks in a calm, clear voice. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Saunders,” she says. “I know it’s your son’s birthday, but really, self-abuse in a public place is just not appropriate. I think he might have a problem.” Suppressed giggles go around the table.
One of the grannies asks loudly, “He’s done a what?”
“Something about a goose,” another one replies.
“Kieran!” his dad thunders as his mom mutters, “Oh dear,” into her napkin.
“I WASN’T!” Kieran shrieks. His voice bounces off the stone walls.
“It’s just not something that someone as young as Dezzie should have to see,” says Cleo.
Dezzie shakes her head plaintively.
“Mia!” Julia snaps into action. “I said clear the table. I’ll deal with this.”
After some hushed conversation between Julia and Kieran’s dad outside the room, the Saunders party is ushered out. His mom looks mortified as the rest of them whisper and the grannies still talk about the goose. Kieran’s just walking along in stunned silence. He looks back at me once, the only time he’s actually met my eye, and I shrug.
But as he gets into the courtyard, I see a figure beckon him over. It’s Jamie. What does he want? I go to the door and crane my head around to see.
