by Meg Brenner
“Maybe life isn’t supposed to be perfect.” He stood up from the chair, swinging his backpack around one shoulder. “Maybe life’s supposed to have a few bumps along the way.” He winked at me before leaving the classroom, just seconds before the bell rang for end of the period.
I scrambled to my feet, waiting impatiently for the class to file out of the classroom. I ran out into the hallway, frantically looking around for any sign of Keiffer. Students started to flee around me, making it look like I was the center of the ring. How was it that I was surrounded by so many people but felt so alone at the same time?
“Hey, baby,” Brad wrapped his arms around my waist. I jumped at his gentle touch but relaxed when I realized that it was just him. “Why are you so tense?”
I shook my head. “Just stressed, I guess. Have you seen a guy with blonde hair…tan skin…walk that way?” I pointed towards the direction that Keiffer had gone.
Brad stared at me. “Why are you looking for another guy?”
“Don’t be jealous,” I assumed. “He’s my partner for class. It’s no big deal. Listen, I need to go to class.” I slipped out of his arms and quickly walked towards my next class.
After lunch, I sat nervously outside of Principal Nelson’s office door. Brenda sat next to me, obviously arching her back so that she appeared just a few centimeters taller than me. I laughed at how hard she was trying, and kept picking at my nail polish in order not to let the butterflies in my stomach get to me.
“Ladies, please come in,” Principal Nelson shook our hands as we took a seat in front of his grand desk. “I bet you’re both extremely excited for this day.”
“I’ve been working years for this,” I laughed.
“I’ve been working my whole life for this,” Brenda added quickly, obviously trying to one-up me again. I rolled my eyes at her desperation.
“It’s been a tough race for both of you. You both have excellent grades and excellent…everything. You ladies are very smart. Brenda, looks like you’ll be going to Princeton next year, is that correct?”
“Yes sir. Already accepted.” She fidgeted with her skirt nervously. “Majoring in Law.”
“Very nice, Miss Leswill. And what about you, Miss Horowitz? Looks like you’ll be going to Yale. Just as nice,” he smiled.
“Yes sir. That’s my goal. I turned in my application this morning.” Nervously, I tucked my hair behind my ears.
“Well, I won’t keep you two in suspense for much longer but Miss Horowitz, you will be valedictorian. Miss Leswill, you will be on stage along with Jenna to hand out diplomas.” He noted my smile. “Don’t think that this is completely permanent. We’re just giving you a heads up so you can start writing a speech. Brenda may take your spot if you don’t continue to prove that you’ve got what it takes.”
“I do have what it takes,” I answered quickly. Brenda coughed angrily next to me. “I won’t let you down, Principal Nelson.”
“I hope you won’t. Run to class now, will you?”
Brenda and I quickly went out of the office. As soon as his office door shut behind us, Brenda grabbed my arm. I stopped abruptly, letting the pain where she was grabbing my arm fill my whole body. A sense of rage ran through her and into me… just the look in her eyes gave me a sense of uneasiness.
“You may be valedictorian now, but I’m going to break you down, little by little, until I get what I want,” she snarled. I swore her eyes were turning red as she spoke to me through her clenched teeth.
“You’re just jealous that I’m better than you. I’ve always been better than you.” My words hurt, I knew it. But at the same time I didn’t care. This girl had been my enemy since I could remember. I wanted my words to hurt. I wanted her to be in pain.
“You’ll never be better than me. You better keep your boyfriend close. Because I’m going to have something of yours…” She let go of my arm as soon as the school secretary walked past us, her heels clicking gently across the tiled floor.
“Oh, keep a close eye on Brad?” I giggled as soon as the secretary was out of ear shot. “He’s not really interested in middle schoolers.” My comment hit her hard, but she shook it off with great force. Brenda was a tiny girl. She only weighed ninety pounds and wasn’t even five foot yet. She had always been made fun of by her height and weight, but she sure could rock some great outfits without any fat rolls or anything.
“Fuck you, Jenna.” She swished her ponytail behind her as she disappeared into the crowd. I wanted to do the same, but as soon as I stepped out into the crowd, they parted around me so I was alone in the middle of the hallway. No one would come within ten feet of me, which was a blessing and a curse. One girl even took a snapshot of my outfit for the day so she could copy it for tomorrow. Taking a deep breath, I headed towards my next class.
Chapter Two
By the time cheerleading came along, I was absolutely exhausted. I had the girls run a mile around the gym track, me trailing behind them so I could watch their form. The girls waved at the basketball players who were stretching on the court.
Two hours later, we finally finished practice. I changed into my stupid pink Scoops shirt and put a matching bow around my ponytail band. Luckily, I was able to wear jeans at my job, which made work attire somewhat more manageable.
“Hey,” I said breathlessly as I tied the bright blue apron behind my back. Brad was in the corner sweeping up a pile of sprinkles. “How was it?”
“Busy,” he responded, a smile a mile from his stern face. “I don’t understand why they don’t just hire a third person to work with us. I mean, we’re going to be swamped later tonight.”
“Awww, is poor Brad feeling a little stressed?” I teased, while wrapping my arms around his neck. He shrugged his shoulders. “I think I know how to unstress you.”
He shook his head. “No, you stress me out even more. Well, that stresses me out even more.” He stepped out of my embrace. “Have you thought anymore about that?”
“No,” I answered truthfully. I picked up the broom and started to busy myself.
“Jenna…”
“Brad…” I rolled my eyes dramatically. “I told you that I’m not ready.”
“We’ve been talking about this for over six months now. Aren’t you in love with me?” He asked, watching me carefully.
“Well, yes, but I just – “
“You just what?”
“I’m just not ready, that’s all. I want to be one hundred percent ready.” I turned to face him again. “And I don’t feel like talking about it, okay? In fact, I don’t ever want to talk about it until I’m ready to. Okay?”
“But –“
“No, I don’t want to talk about it. I love you, Brad, but I…”
“Don’t love me enough?” He answered.
I nodded my head slowly. “Yes, I don’t love you enough…not yet at least. I mean, I don’t even know what love is. Please, Brad, let me make the decision by myself.”
“Fine,” he answered before retreating to the freezer. I let out a deep breath and welcomed the first of the many costumers that were going to be filling our little shop for the night.
By the time I got to Lacey’s house, it was nearly nine. There was still a glow from the television from her room so I walked around the house and tapped on her screen door. She opened it for me, obviously still dressed in the pajamas that she had gone to bed in the night before. She had bags under her eyes and held a tissue in one hand.
“Oh, Lacey,” I pouted my lip at her. “You look really sick.”
“I feel really sick,” she laughed. “I’d let you in, but then you’d be sick.”
“I really can’t risk my health, especially with everything going on, but I’ll take my chances.” I slipped into her room and threw myself across her unmade bed. “Guess who is Lakeshore High’s new valedictorian for the class of 2011.”
“No way?” Lacey exclaimed. “You?”
I nodded my head excitedly. “Principal Nelson just told us today. Brenda was pissed!�
� I laughed. “You should have seen her face. Oh, man, sweet victory is always…”
“Sweet,” Lacey finished for me. She blew her nose into her Kleenex again.
“Precisely. Okay, well, you need to get better and I need to get some rest. My parents were expecting me home almost an hour ago.” I stood up from her bed. “Oh, Literature class is dreadful, Lace. Absolutely dreadful,” I rolled my eyes at the thought of class. “We’re being assigned a group project that’s worth seventy-five percent of our final grade. And the best part, I got stuck with some new kid who argued with me in front of the whole class. He’s dreadful.”
“Wonderful,” Lacey sighed. "I'll probably be stuck with someone worse than the new kid."
"No, trust me, Lace, no one is worse than Mr. Keiffer Lawrence," I cringed.
"Seriously? His name is Keiffer?" She laughed, though it ended in a coughing fit. "How…different!"
"I know. Strange, right? He's boring. Just a boring, dull, individual. I can't wait until I can humiliate him in front of the entire class." I bit my bottom lip in thought. "I didn't realize just how pleasant this stupid project might be..."
"Oh, Jenna. You're always up to no good," Lacey smiled as she opened the door for me. I stepped outside onto her own private walkway.
"No, I just know how to give others what they deserve," I headed towards the driveway. "Get better, girl!"
"Thanks for the notes," she called back.
By the time I got home it was completely dark out. I unlocked the front door and dropped my backpack on the floor by the shoe mat. Tying my hair up in a ponytail, I slipped into the kitchen to fill up a glass of water. Dad was sitting at the table reading another automotive magazine.
"What are you still doing awake?" I asked, taking a sip of my water.
"The new neighbors are here. Mom's showing them around the house. I got bored so I came down here." He flipped the page of his magazine. "They've got a son, about your age."
"Oh no," I whined. Dad looked up at me, surprised. "Does he have curly, blonde hair?"
Dad nodded his head. "You know him?"
"Unfortunately. What are the odds that he moved into the house next to ours? That house has been vacant for almost two years!" I poured the water down the sink. "Don't tell mom I'm home. I'll just sneak up to my room so he doesn’t see me." I kissed him quickly on the cheek before grabbing my backpack from the floor and running up the stairs to my room.
I tiptoed across the wooden floor until I finally reached my door. Silently opening the door, I slipped into the room. The light was already on, which meant my mom showed them my room. I flopped down at my computer, pulling my geometry book out of my backpack. This was my nightly routine. Sleep could never come before my school work.
"Nice room you got here," Keiffer said from my bed. I jumped to my feet, holding my text book as a bat. He smiled at me before picking up the picture frame of Brad that I kept next to my bed. "So this is Brad?"
"What are you doing in my room?" I squealed, snatching the picture from his hands.
"I heard you come home so I came in to wait for you." He looked around my room.
"Well, you can leave now," I announced. I opened the door for him, waiting for him to finally get up and take his exit.
"You aren't a very good host," he admitted, finally standing up from my bed.
"And you aren't a very good guest."
He chuckled in amusement. "You're kind of a jumpy individual, aren't you?" He stepped outside of my door.
"I'm not jumpy, I just don't know you."
"Well, get to know me."
"I don't want to," I admitted. He stuck his foot in the door so I couldn't shut it. "Please move your foot," I said through clenched teeth.
"Let's go out tonight," he suggested.
"What? No!" I almost yelled.
"Come'on. I know the perfect place -"
"No! Keiffer, go away!"
"-to get a burger," he finished.
I started to count to ten in my head. After I let out a deep breath, I looked up at him with slitted eyes. “I have no interest in getting to know you. All I want to do is my homework.” I paused for a second. “And what kind of a name is Keiffer anyway?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “I didn’t name myself. Blame my mom.”
“You mean your parents? Not just your mom,” I retaliated.
“No, my mom.” He pushed his hair back from off his forehead. “My dad wasn’t exactly around when I was born.”
“Oh,” I felt my cheeks start to blush. I had been so wrapped around trying to be rude to him that I forgot that he was a person also. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” he responded. The stupid smile had been drained from his face. Oddly, I felt bad that I hurt him. I scolded myself quietly for being so mean to him.
“Oh, Keiffer! Looks like you met my daughter,” Mom placed her hand on his arm. “This is Jenna.” She brushed my hair off my shoulders. “She’ll be going to Yale next year, you know?”
“Mom!” I snapped. I felt like she told my business to everyone. “It’s not even for sure yet.”
“Of course it’s for sure,” Keiffer interrupted. “She’s the smartest in the class, perhaps even the whole school”
“Thanks,” I bit my lip. I really did like the compliment that he gave me.
“But I already met her. We’re in the same Lit class,” Keiffer smiled. We locked eyes for a split second before I broke the gaze.
“Oh, well that’s wonderful. At least you’ll have one friend this year. She can introduce you to Brad. Oh, that would be wonderful. Brad is so nice. You’ll have so much in common,” Mom said excitedly. “Oh, and her friend Lacey. She’s beautiful…a bit on the chunky side, but she’s very sweet.”
“Okay, enough, mom. Please. Lacey is dating someone, and besides…I don’t think Keiffer and I would be much of a match.”
“Oh, well of course you would be. Listen, why don’t you come over this Saturday. Your mom can come over too. We’ll invite all of Jenna’s friends and you can meet everyone,” Mom continued. She was talking like I wasn’t directly in front of her. I tapped my foot impatiently.
“That sounds great, Mrs. Horowitz. I’ll be sure to tell my mom.”
“No, no need. I’ll tell Indigo right now.” And with that, my Mom bustled down the stairs to tell his mom about the newest plans for the weekend.
“Indigo?” I repeated. “Let me get this straight. Your name is Keiffer, and your mom’s name is Indigo? You’ve got to be kidding me,” I laughed sarcastically. “What kind of people are you?”
“My mom’s a hippie. Well, she hadn’t always been. Her name had been Amy for more than half her life. She changed her name almost twenty years ago to something that she thought fit her better.”
“So, do you mean to tell me that you used to have a different name too? A normal one?” My tone was getting worse and worse, but it was only because I wanted him to leave. It had been such a long day and I still had a good three hours of homework on top of it.
He shook his head. “No, my name’s Keiffer. It’s always been Keiffer.”
“But you’ll change it to something normal, right?”
He let out one of his infamous chuckles. “Nah, I don’t think so. I was going to, but I don’t think so anymore. I think my name fits me just fine.”
“And why is that?”
“I’ve got my reasons.” He took in a deep breath. “Well, neighbor, I’ve got to get going. It’s night time and there’s a whole galaxy of stars waiting for me.” He started to walk down the hallway towards the stairs. “Oh, and Jenna?”
“What?” I asked right before I shut my bedroom door.
“Don’t in any circumstance listen to the CD that I left on your night stand.” He winked at me before disappearing down the stairs.
Shutting my door quickly, I sat back down at my computer. My room suddenly felt quite empty and the silence was almost deafening. Trying to ignore it, I opened my geometry book and log
ged onto the class web page. I had fifty-two questions on the screen that was staring me straight in the face. Taking a deep breath, I started to work on the problems.
Slowly, very slowly, my eyes shifted towards my night stand. There, where Brad’s frame used to be, was a blue CD case. I ignored the urge to take a closer look and continued with my homework. Within a fifteen minute period, I found myself taking a look at the CD every few minutes. My mind began to wonder why he would make me a CD. It didn’t make any sense. He didn’t even know me.
After grabbing a snack from the kitchen cabinet, I made my way back into my room. I only had about ten more problems to do with geometry so I grabbed the CD out of pure curiosity. Popping it into the CD player on my laptop, I leaned back in my chair to get more comfortable. What I heard come from the CD wasn’t music at all. I was expecting some kind of hard metal music, or maybe something slow…instead, I heard Keiffer’s voice come through the speakers of my computer. I set my glass on the desk and listened closely to what he said.
“Hey, Jenna. It’s, um, Keiffer Lawrence. Well, my full name is Keiffer Lee Lawrence. But middle names are so pointless, don’t you think? Like, who really cares what my middle name is? It could be anything and no one would even flinch because someone’s middle name is so pointless that maybe only five percent of people you’ll ever come in contact will know it.” He paused for just a moment. “Which must make you apart of the five percent of people to know mine.
“Well, this is my final goodbye. No, not for like ever. But if there came a time that I passed away, I need you to give these CDs to my mom. Every once in a while I’ll give you a new one. They’re personal…please don’t share them with anyone else. I just…I just have a hard time speaking to people about who I am. Do you think you can handle me? I will give you just one fact about me on each CD.
“So basically, my dad committed suicide. There you go. Got it off of my chest. Now you’ll know and you won’t have to ask me anything about my family. That’s all you really need to know. Hell, maybe later on I’ll tell you more about him, but I won’t now. Just know that I’m nothing like him. I don’t have a single thing in common with him. Promise me that you’ll never compare me to him. Promise me.” His voice cut off for a good two minutes before he started speaking again.
