by Meg Brenner
Lacey and Alex were the first ones to get their pictures taken. Their parents were standing next to my mom and they all had their cameras out. It was funny how parents did treat this as though it was a pre-wedding. They were all proud of us as we stood there all done up. It was actually quite silly.
Brad was talking aimlessly next to me about God-knows-what. I began to finally tune him out after a few minutes. He did that a lot, talk about nothing. Well, it wasn’t nothing to him, but I really didn’t care. Once he got on a subject, he never stopped. Looking over at Keiffer’s house I saw a small crowd (like what we had) out in his front yard. Indigo was talking to another couple in front of the garden that she had planted. Keiffer was nowhere to be seen but I knew he was there.
“Brad,” I interrupted. “Can you hold that thought?” I caught him in mid-sentence. His mouth was still open as though he were about to say something else. Finally he nodded and I took off across our lawn and into Keiffer’s. I heard my mom call after me, but I kept walking. And I kept walking until I reached Indigo.
“Jenna, honey, you look stunning!” Indigo ran her hands over my shoulders as she stared at the dress on me. “I knew we were about the same size.”
“It’s nothing that I was expecting,” I laughed.
“Well,” she got closer to my ear. “You couldn’t expect me to give you something modest. I wasn’t exactly a saint when I was a senior in high school.”
I laughed at the way she said it. Of course she wasn’t. She had given birth to her daughter when in high school. “Well, I’m not either,” I finally admitted. She was the first one that I had ever admitted that too. Everyone else, including my parents, thought I was a virgin.
Indigo studied me closely. I thought that she was about to scold me. Any moment now she would give me the sex-talk, but instead, she wrapped me into her arms and gave me a hug. I wasn’t expecting it, but I allowed her to hug me anyway. This was one of the first honest-to-God true hugs that I had had in a while. She loved me like a daughter, exactly how I loved her like a mother.
“I know,” she finally said. She cupped her hand on my chin. “That’s why I can relate to you, Jenna. And right now, Keiffer and you are about to make a huge mistake. I know he’s difficult, but he loves you back.”
“Indigo –“
“And I love you,” she finally said. “I’m never going to leave you, Jen. I’m always going to be here for you. And so will he…even if he’s difficult, he’ll go to the ends of the world for you.”
“What do you mean by that?” I asked, my heart pumping wildly. She placed her hand on my stomach and I quickly backed away from her. My mind was spinning out of control. “How do you know?” I asked, my voice much louder than a whisper.
She shrugged her shoulders. “I assumed.”
“Well, you’re wrong!” I said quickly, crossing my arms across my chest (which gave me great cleavage!)
“No, I’m not.” Her voice was still calm and steady even though I was making a scene.
Finally, giving in, I looked up at the sky. It was bright blue with a few clouds. How the hells was my life spinning so out of control? “Does Keiffer know yet?”
She shook her head. “No, he doesn’t know. I wasn’t one hundred percent positive. Your father was talking to me earlier. And the whole sickness thing. Honey, I knew it was morning sickness from the moment that I heard you put orange juice on cereal. That was my vice too when I was pregnant with Keiffer.”
“I’m really scared. I can’t tell anyone,” my bottom lip started quivering.
“You told me,” she smiled. “And together, you and I, we’ll work it out. But I think you need to tell my son. He deserves to know.”
“How do you know he’s the dad?” I was embarrassed talking about the fact that I was pregnant with her son’s baby. She now knew that he and I had been having sex behind her back. It was all pretty mortifying.
She laughed again. “I didn’t. But you gave it away.” She kissed my forehead again before turning around as Keiffer and his date stepped out on the porch. And, much to my surprise, his date was Brenda. I felt as though I just got punched in the stomach.
He didn’t notice me at first as he helped her down the porch steps. They stood hand-in-hand in front of the garden, both of their eyes getting adjusted to the sunshine. Then, once he looked up towards Brenda’s parents, I was standing among them, our eyes never ceasing to look away.
He excused himself from the pictures, and walked towards me. With one swift moment, he grabbed me forcefully by the arm and led me into the house. However, it was difficult for me to walk so he just ended up picking me up and carrying me up the porch stairs. Once inside, he shut the door behind him and he stared at me like what Brad did earlier. Except, Keiffer’s stare was much more serious. His eyes worked their way up from my toes to my head. Of course stopping a bit longer when he got to my breasts.
“What are you doing here?” He finally snapped.
“I came over to say hi to your mom.”
“My mom and you best friends now?” He asked, crossing his arms. He looked very handsome in his tuxedo. His hair had been gelled lightly, and parted to the side. He looked extremely attractive.
“Maybe,” I said while shrugging my shoulders. “You decided to go to prom with Brenda? I would’ve thought you’d at least ask someone descent.”
“Like who?” He asked, obviously amused by my jealousy.
“I don’t know…me.” I finally said it. I wasn’t sure if I would actually admit that I wanted him to ask me to prom, but I decided that it was now or never.
“You have Brad.”
“But I want you!” I walked towards him, reaching out and grabbing his shoulders. “You keep pushing me away. I tell you that you’re the only one I want, and it’s great for a little while. But then you get some weird thought in your head and you begin to think that I want Brad! How many times do I have to keep telling you that I don’t?”
For the first time since meeting Keiffer, I actually saw the hurt in his eyes. He looked down quickly, not wanting me to see the tears. Beginning to tear up myself, I followed him up to his room, where he sat down at his window sill. He was looking out the window, not willing to look over at me. Even though I couldn’t see his face, I knew that he was crying. I knew that he was feeling exactly what I had been earlier.
I walked over to him, placing my hand on his. He finally looked up at me. He let me press my lips against his as we stood in front of the window. He moved his hand to my back, feeling the straps to my bra. He didn’t unlatch it – thank God! – but he did play with it for a bit until our lips finally unlocked.
“Why is it that every time one of us says goodbye, the other one isn’t ready to let go?” He laughed.
“Because maybe it’s just not time yet,” I answered. “You’re the only one who understands me. But you’re also the only one who doesn’t want me in their life…”
“I want you in my life…but this just wasn’t apart of the plan.”
I touched his cheek. “Maybe there is no plan. Maybe this is it.”
“Jenna,” he smiled slightly. “How can you say that? You always have a plan for everything. It’s just apart of your charm.”
I shrugged my shoulders. “I met someone who changed that for me. We could’ve had it all. You and me. We could have had the world. And you kept throwing it away.” I paused, almost telling him about the baby. “But now I have a date outside waiting for me, and you have…Brenda…”
“Outside waiting for me,” he finished. He held my hand as we walked towards the front door. With one swift movement, I kissed him hard again. I’d wanted to kiss him for years it seemed. And now, as we stood so close, I knew that this wouldn’t last. He would get scared, like normal, and push me away. But I tried not to think about it.
“Bye, Keiffer,” I whispered into his ear. I opened up the front door and made my way back to my house.
I didn’t get far before Brenda stopped me. She stood in
front of me, her hands on her hips. Her face had no trace of a smile, though I really wasn’t expecting one. She was trying to act all scary and tough, but really she just looked as though she were constipated. I stood awkwardly in front of her, not sure what her next plan of action was going to be.
“You keep away from him!” She sneered.
“From Keiffer?” I let out a laugh. “I had him way before you did.”
“Oh, thanks for that, you little slut.” Brenda looked at me with such hatred that I actually felt myself start to grow nervous. I wasn’t quite sure, and maybe it was the sun, but I was starting to sweat.
“Slut?” Now she was just being mean. “Why is it that you always come in for my sloppy seconds?”
Now it was her turn to feel the heat. She opened her mouth to say something, but then quickly shut it again. Obviously, she had nothing. “Sloppy seconds, huh? There was nothing sloppy about Brad when I fucked him.”
“Brad?” I squeaked out. Brenda and him had only dated for like a month. He had dated me for four years and we never even had sex. Yet, he had sex with Brenda. I knew I wasn’t much to talk because I had slept with Keiffer, but no one but Indigo knew about it.
“Oh, he didn’t tell you?” She seemed quite amused. “Well, in that case, ask him to do that thing with his tongue –“
I let out a scream before grabbing her hair. I wasn’t one to fight, but the second she started to get personal, I let the animal rage inside me fly. I grabbed her hair and she let out a scream, thrashing her newly manicured nails around until she found my own flesh. I yelled in pain when she cut my arm with her nails but I kept a tight grip on her hair, throwing her onto the ground. We wrestled on the ground a little, me slapping her, her slicing me. I knew that I needed to keep my dress nice so I mostly worked from my knees.
Suddenly, I was lifted off the ground by a strong grip. Keiffer had wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me up from Brenda. She was laying on her back, her red hair messed up so badly that it looked un-repairable. Keiffer held me close as Brenda scrambled to her feet. Her parents, my parents, Lacey and Alex, Brad, and Indigo were all staring at us. I adjusted my dress accordingly as they stared.
“Dude, I’ll take it from here,” Brad said as he jerked me out of Keiffer’s arms. “Are you okay, Jenna?”
“Jenna?”Mrs. Leswill exclaimed. “She nearly killed my daughter!”
“Don’t be so dramatic,” Indigo snapped. My second mother had come in to save the day. “Obviously it was just a case of two girls being catty.”
“Is this the Jenna you were talking about?” Mr. Leswill asked his daughter. Brenda nodded her head. “So you’re the valedictorian?”
“So?” I answered. Keiffer glared at me and I quickly adjusted my attitude. “Yes, sir.”
“Well, looks like Principal Nelson did a terrible job at finding the right person for the job. I’m anything but impressed. In fact, I should call him up. With all the little stunts I’ve heard about you this semester, I’m surprised that you still have the privilege.”
“Daddy,” Brenda started. “Let Jenna keep her little title. She’s having a hard semester. With Keiffer breaking up with her and her parents getting a divorce –“The way she said it was like she were making fun of me.
“That’s enough!” Keiffer shouted at Brenda. “This is all you do! Complain, complain, complain! Jenna is a damn good person and you’re just jealous that you’re not able to live up to her.”
“Oh…” she smoothed down his hair. “That’s not what you were saying last night when you were screaming my name…”
“Brenda!” Mrs. Leswill exclaimed. She turned to face her mother, obviously still getting a kick out of her snotty remarks. However, Keiffer and I shared a conversation that only required our eyes. He had sex with Brenda. The love of my life had had sex with my only enemy. I thought he loved me…
“Well, mother, you couldn’t expect me to stay a virgin forever,” Brenda laughed.
“I think it’s time I take Jenna and the rest of the gang back over to our house,” my mom said quickly. “It was nice –“ She didn’t finish her sentence before walking about over to the house. I looked behind me as I walked hand-in-hand with Brad back over to my own side. Keiffer was still looking at me, obviously knowing that he got caught.
Chapter Fourteen
The ride to prom was awkward. Lacey and Alex sat in the backseat, obviously so in love that they were in their own little world. I stared out my window, not willing to even glance at Brad. My mind was set on what Brenda had said. Did Brad lose his virginity to Brenda? And did Keiffer sleep with her? She was a monster. A true monster.
This year the prom was held at The Castle. The Castle was an ancient castle that was located on a road called Five Mile Hill that over looked Lake Michigan. It usually held many upscale weddings and our school’s prom every year. However, this time as we walked into the place, my heart didn’t feel as light as I was expecting. Instead, as I stepped into the ballroom, regret filled me. I just wanted to crawl into a hole and never come back out.
As I walked through the ballroom, every person who noticed me stopped talking and turned to look. I had suddenly become the center of attention. Obviously, Brad didn’t want people to think that there was any drama between us, so he pulled me close and gave me a kiss. Several sighs came from the audience and I suddenly felt like the princess that I had once been. Was this truly the life that I wanted though? This was a fairy tale. Something that would never last.
Prom was fun though. Soon I began to loosen up and for just one song, Brad danced with Lacey and I danced with Alex. I didn’t really know Alex that well, but if Lacey loved him then I knew that I’d need to get used to having him around. He turned out to be really cool. But the more I got to know him, the more I realized that he was pretty much trying to become popular. He was a year younger than us, and of course, he knew about Lacey being my best friend. I couldn’t blame him. Since dating Lacey, he went much higher on the status quo.
“Do you want a drink?” Brad finally asked after several hours of being there.
“Sure,” I agreed. “I’m just going to go outside real quick. I need some fresh air.” He kissed me before we both went our separate ways.
Behind a sheer curtain, I saw a slider glass door. I opened it, stepping out onto the balcony. It was dark, the only light I could see in the distance was the moon, which playfully danced across the rippling Lake Michigan waves. I took in a breath of fresh air. It filled my lungs and I suddenly felt at peace. Well, until I heard a familiar cough come from beside me. Of course, it was Keiffer.
“What are you doing out here?” He asked.
“I could ask you the same thing.” I didn’t look over at him, but instead kept my gaze out towards the water. I didn’t need to look at him. I could feel his presence.
“Well, I’ve always been a fan of stars,” he laughed. “I wanted to see how good this view was.”
“Better than home, huh?” I asked. I thought back to the time when we both laid out on his roof, looking up at the stars. That had been the first time that I noticed he was more than just an arguer. He had more potential than that.
He nodded his head. “Much better than home.” Now he moved closer to me. I looked quickly, noticing his silly grin on his face. I laughed also, but only because I missed how dorky he could be.
“Brenda said you guys had…” I almost couldn’t get the word out. It was much too painful to say. He took a deep breath, obviously waiting for me to finish my sentence. “Sex,” I finally said.
He nodded his head slowly. “She did say that.”
I waited for him to continue. “Do you have anything to say about it?” I hated how he sometimes acted like this. I just wanted the truth.
“No, I don’t.” He brushed back some of the curls that had flown in front of my eyes. I jerked my head away so he couldn’t touch me.
“Please, Keiffer, just tell me the truth. I…I just want to know the truth. Did you,
or didn’t you have sex with Brenda?” I heard my voice quiver. I felt hurt, betrayed…just sickened by the thought of him having sex with her when he had told me that he didn’t ever want to have sex. I thought I was special to him.
“This is Brenda we’re talking about. She lies, manipulates…I would truly think that you’d know me better than that. When I love someone, I go all out. I don’t love Brenda. She means nothing to me.”
“Stop trying to not answer my question. I’m not satisfied. Did you, or didn’t you?”
“I didn’t,” he finally responded.
“I don’t believe you,” I snapped. How could he stand in front of me and just lie? Brenda had said it in front of me. Why couldn’t he?
“Then don’t ask me! I just told you the truth, Jenna!” He grabbed onto my hand and drew me in, placing his hands on my hips. Our lips were just inches apart. “I’ve never done anything with Brenda. I only asked her to be my date because I saw how jealous you were when she was with Brad. I made a mistake by letting you go, and I just needed to know how you really felt about me.”
“What do you mean? Do I not make it clear enough to you, Keiffer? I’ve been declaring my love for you every time you say goodbye to me. I don’t think it’s me that has the problem. You do. I’m tired of these games. How are we supposed to be parents if you continue with these pointless mind games?”
“Parents?” Keiffer stuttered. “Why did you say that?”
From the corner of my eye, I noticed Brad walking towards the balcony with two drinks in his hands. I pushed Keiffer’s hands off of my hips, trying to decide if this was the right moment to tell him. He was sensitive, yet, he had to find out sooner or later.
Just before Brad opened up the door, I blurted it out. “I’m pregnant, and you’re the dad.” Brad finally slid the door open and I stepped back into the ballroom. Shock and adrenaline was pumping through my veins. I took the sparkling grape juice from Brad’s hand and we made a toast to our future. Little did Brad know, my future had been left out on the balcony.
