The girl lifted her head and flicked her tongue over Ian’s lower lip. “See you later, sexy.”
And I think I just threw up in my mouth.
The redhead’s head swung my way. She looked me up and down, snorted and rolled her hazel eyes. She recognized me. I could tell by the look on her face – the one that said I was an annoyance, but not a threat. Flipping her hair over her shoulder, she strolled out of the room in four-inch kitten heels that displayed a pair of toned thighs and shapely calves I would kill to have.
“Where’d you find that one?” I asked.
“Laundry room.”
“In that getup?”
Ian scratched his head and shrugged. “She said she was all out of clean clothes.”
“I’ll bet.” More than likely, she’d spotted him carrying his basket downstairs, threw on her slinkiest dress, and then dashed down to the basement to offer him a little “bachelor bundle.”
But why was I questioning him about his latest hookup? We had much bigger matters to discuss. I rounded on him. “What did you say to Brian Sellars?”
Ian’s eyes swung to mine, his dark brows knitting together. “Who?”
I took a threatening step forward. “Don’t act innocent with me. You know exactly who I’m talking about.”
He shook his head. “Doesn’t ring a bell.” He was lying. Well, I knew he was lying but the twitching muscles at the corners of his wide mouth confirmed it.
“Let me remind you, then.” I took another step forward until we were less than a foot away. “Sandy blond hair, blue eyes,” I lifted up on my toes and leveled my hand at the tip of his ear, “about yea high. The guy I had a date with tonight until you had a talk with him this afternoon,” I added, my voice rising in intensity. Catching his smirk, I cuffed him upside the head.
He chuckled and rubbed the side of his skull. “Oh, that Brian.”
“Yeah, that Brian.” I propped my balled fists on my hips. “What did you say to him?”
“Nothing. I just told him it would be in his best interest to be a gentleman.”
“Your. Exact. Words,” I gritted out through clenched teeth.
Ian squinted at the ceiling and scratched the whiskers on his chin. “Well, I can’t remember the exact words, but I may have mentioned it wasn’t illegal to dig a hole in the desert, and I had one all dug out for anyone who mistreated you.”
“Ian!” I shoved him in the middle of his hard chest. He stumbled back a few steps, releasing a bark of laughter. “Why would you do that?” I asked. He’d always been good at the silent intimidation, but this was the first time he’d actually progressed to a verbal threat.
“Oh, come on. The guy had douchebag written all over him. I was just making sure he treated you with the respect you deserve.”
“You were just making sure I’d never get laid!”
“Ahh!” Ian cupped his hands over his ears. “Don’t say stuff like that in front of me.”
I shook my head at his ridiculousness. We spent Tuesday and Thursday nights at our campus radio station, advising people on the topic of relationships and sex, and yet, somehow, the idea of me actually having sex really seemed to freak him out.
“Don’t say stuff like what?” I asked, moving in closer. “Don’t say…” I paused and made my voice breathy, “that I wanted Brian’s gorgeous body all over mine.” I slid my hands over my torso and lowered my eyelids, hissing a breath in between my teeth. “That I wanted to feel his hot, sweaty, rippling muscles rubbing all over my—”
Ian’s brows slanted and the corners of his mouth tipped further down. “Cut it out, Ivy.”
I closed my eyes and ran my hands through my long, dark blonde locks, really getting into my act. “To feel him sliding between my thighs,” I said, moaning a little for effect, “giving me pleasure like—”
He clamped his hand over my mouth. “Knock it off! I get it.”
I smirked against his hand and batted my lashes at him. The look of horror on his face was pure comedy. “I’m sorry, was that bothering you?” I asked, my voice muffled against his hand.
He glared down at me for a long moment before shaking his head. An affectionate smile moved over his face. “Man, you’re twisted.”
I threw off his hand. “And you’re a pain in my ass! This overprotective brother routine is getting real old.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, giving me big, round puppy dog eyes. “I just wanted to make sure you were treated the way you should be.” He blinked twice and his lower lip jutted out so far you could land a B-52 on it. “You’re my best friend. I couldn’t bear it if someone hurt you.”
While I knew part of him was just trying to get on my good side, I also knew he really was concerned about my well-being. He always had been. I sighed. “You… suck. I hate you.”
A slow, adorable grin spread over Ian’s face. “No, you don’t. You looooove me.” He splayed his arms wide and came at me for a hug, but I sidestepped his reach.
“Nuh-uh, buddy. You’re not touching me while Miss Fluff n’ Fold’s sweat is still drying on your body. Go take a shower, and then we’ll talk.”
“Oh, all right.” He nodded his head to the room behind him. “Come on in.”
I sneered. “Not a chance. It smells like cheap sex and knockoff perfume in there.” The only thing I could smell was fresh air, since his window was wide open, but I had to give him a little crap for his cavalier sex life; it’s what I did. “I’m going to go play a few rounds with Matt. Now that I don’t have a date – thank you very much – you’re giving me a ride to work tonight. And don’t think we’re done talking about this.”
He winked, giving me a devilish grin. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
*
Ian spun around the cramped radio station booth with a look of panic on his face. “Where the hell is my headset?”
I deleted Brian’s text message breaking our date from my Android and looked up, spotting Ian’s missing equipment. I sank into my cushy swivel chair, kicked my legs up on the console, and bit down a chuckle. My gaze slid to Amery Archer in the adjacent engineer’s room, where she was prescreening calls. She looked over at Ian and giggled into her hand. I winked, then ducked just in time to avoid Ian’s elbow as it swung toward my ear. The time on the computer ticked down to forty-five seconds. In light of the time crunch, I let out the husky laugh bubbling in my throat. “They’re behind your ears, brainiac.”
Ian stopped short. He raked both hands through his hair, knocking the headphones askew. “I knew that,” he said after a beat, easing into his best lazy grin. It was one he’d perfected over time, one that had the power to turn otherwise smart and capable college girls into mindless, giggling twits, ready to drop their panties at first sight.
I rolled my eyes, immune to his charms. “Sure you did.” Dropping my legs to the ground, I tossed my phone into my bag and fished around for an elastic band. Finding one amongst the lint and scone crumbs along the bottom of a pocket, I then swept my long hair up into a sloppy ponytail. I glanced at the computer before me. “Fifteen seconds.”
Ian flopped into his chair and spread his long, denim-encased legs wide. His grin widened, making the cheekbones he’d inherited from a distant Native American ancestor more pronounced. A teasing glint flickered in his eyes. “Ready to get down and dirty?” he asked, jiggling his brows at me.
I licked my lips and winked, playing along with his meaningless flirtation. “I’m always ready, baby.”
He waved his hand to the microphone. “Then by all means….”
I sprung upright and flicked the mic on, positioning my mouth near the windscreen.
Three…two…
“Welcome back, Razorbacks, to another edition of Riordan College’s most titillating talk show, The Truths about Dating and Mating, with your favorite campus sex-edutainers, Ivy Rossini and Ian Hollister.”
Ian’s head appeared beside mine. “That’s right, ladies…and gentlemen, too, I suppose,” he said with less enthusiasm. “It’s time to c
all in with all your dirty little stories. First time girl-on-girl experimentation, sweaty sleepover secrets, naughty camp stories, illicit touches in the showers—”
Oh brother. I snapped my fingers in front of his face. “Earth to Ian.”
He gave a start and snapped out of his spell. “Okay, I’m back. Anyway, I…”
I cleared my throat.
Ian gave me a cheeky grin. “We want to hear all about them. Have a question? Ain’t no problem too big or too small. Don’t be shy—we sure as hell aren’t. So give us a call at 555-KRAZ.”
“And while Ian wipes the drool from his chin,” I grinned at his scoffing noise, “we’ll take our first caller of the night. Let’s welcome Vanessa to the show,” I said, reading the name from the computer screen.
Ian tapped a button on the keyboard and canned applause filled the station. “So, Vanessa, any sleepover secrets you want to share?” he asked, playing up his on-air personality of the libidinous rogue.
“Sorry?” she asked.
He snapped his finger and feigned a heavy sigh. “Never mind.” Sliding further down in his chair, he propped his left arm behind his head. The sleeve of his black T-shirt rode up, revealing the bottom tendrils of the tattoo on his defined bicep, still a little red from the work he’d had done the previous weekend. “So, what’s up, Vanessa?”
“Okay, so I have a question about masturbation.” She tittered nervously.
Ian nodded, his eyes on the padded ceiling. “Ah, one of my favorite topics. And let me tell you, you’ve called one of the world’s leading experts.” He shot me a wink.
I chuckled into my hand and Ian drew a check mark in the air. We had a long-running competition to say the most outrageous line of the night; the more creative we were, the more cool-points we earned with each other.
“Well, I’ve never had sex,” Vanessa said, “but I’ve been masturbating since I was about thirteen—”
“Tell me, Vanessa.” Ian lowered his voice. “You wouldn’t happen to be thinking of girls when you do it, would you?”
I rolled my eyes in amused disgust. “Feel free to ignore him.”
“Sure, Ivy, ruin all my fun. Please continue, Vanessa.”
“Okay, so my roommate told me that if I keep on masturbating, it’s going to ruin my ‘adult’ sex life. Is she right?”
It never ceased to amaze me how misinformed some people were, and it flat-out annoyed me that it was the most-uninformed who tended to spread their ignorance. “Not even a little bit, Vanessa. In fact, your ‘adult’ sex life will probably be all the better for it.”
“Really?” Vanessa sounded both relieved and hopeful.
How sweet, I thought, feeling a rush of satisfaction. There weren’t many rewards to the job we did. We didn’t get paid, there was no college credit, and there wasn’t much respect, either, so feeling like I’d helped a person gain more knowledge about their sexual health was the gratification I thrived on.
“Of course, honey,” I said to her, my sisterly-instincts coming out. “Masturbation helps us discover what feels good, what doesn’t, and what really pushes us over the edge. Knowing these things can pave the way for more fulfilling sex, as long as we’re willing to communicate what we’ve learned in our self-exploration.”
“Ivy makes a great point,” Ian said, taking over. “There’s nothing more frustrating for a guy than being unable to pleasure his partner. We want to know what makes you lukewarm, hot, and downright nuclear. If you can’t, or won’t, express your preferences, your guy will have to fly blind, which can lead to frustration and disappointment between the sheets. The more help you give us, the better.”
I smirked. “And just think: at least you’ll know the quickest way to finish yourself off once your guy falls asleep.”
Ian’s head whipped to the side. “Damn!”
I giggled; knew he’d like that one. “What can I say? More often than not the guy lacks the staying-power to finish the job… or the consideration.”
“I wouldn’t know.” Ian crossed both arms behind his head with a self-assured smile. “I’ve never heard any complaints.”
Neither had I. Ian’s reputation as a very skilled, very intense lover was widespread on campus, even to the point where I was wild with curiosity. Not that I’d ever let him know. He’d been my best friend for fifteen years, and we’d never crossed that line.
I gave him a humoring nod. “I’m sure you haven’t.”
“What are you insinuating? That I’m somehow lacking in skill?”
“I would be the last person to know, now, wouldn’t I? But the fact is most guys want to hear they’re gods in the sack, and most women are too kind to tell them the truth. We save that info for our girlfriends.”
Ian scowled. “You know, you knock us for kissing and telling, but you women are twice as bad.”
I dismissed his comment with a wave of my hand. “Please, that’s totally different. Guys do it to brag about their conquests. We call in the reinforcements to help analyze every little detail and discern what it all means.”
“Like that’s so much better. And no generalizing.” Ian wagged his finger, reminding me of our long-standing rule against that kind of thing. “Not all guys brag.”
“Yeah, I know.” I conceded the point, well aware Ian fell into the latter category. He was as tight-lipped about the details of his sexual encounters as he was about anything else truly personal. Well, except with me. I knew all the nitty-gritty details of his life; the good, the bad, and the ugly, and there had been plenty of all three.
“So, Vanessa, were we able to answer your question?” Ian said.
“Yes. Thank you.”
“We’re here to serve.” He pressed the “kill” button. “And on that note, we’re going to have to take a short break. When we return, more listeners’ calls and our letter of the night. So stick around for more of The Truths about Dating and Mating. It’s ten after eleven, and we’re just getting warmed up on KRAZ.”
As soon as the ON-AIR light went out, I raised my brow. “World’s leading expert in masturbation, eh?”
A sheepish smile spread over Ian’s face. “Well, you know. Expert, practitioner… same difference.”
I pulled my hair from its tie and ran my fingers through the long strands. “Between classes and dropping your pants for every girl on campus, how do you find the time?”
Ian ran a hand over his neck, mussing up his dark hair even more. “Come on, Ivy, I don’t date that many girls.”
I scoffed. “You don’t date any of them. ‘Dating’ implies you actually spend time with the girl before taking her to bed.”
“Ahh...” Ian averted his gaze, looking just the tiniest-bit flustered. Which, for a guy who bedded as many girls as he did, was all kinds of ironic. “You know, I’m hardly the only one guilty of casual sex, here.”
“One time,” I stressed. Only three men in the wide world could answer the perennial question – natural blonde or bottle job? (Both, as a matter of fact; my dirty-blonde hair was often treated to a pick-me-up with Garnier’s Champagne Fizz). Two of my lovers had been semi-serious relationships, and yes, the third had been a sexier-than-sin Navy Seal Leap Frog. Adam something-or-other 2nd Class had been in town for one weekend only, doing a parachuting event at my old high school. We met at a club downtown, and after challenging his occupational claims – A Navy Seal? Sounded like a B.S. line to me, but he was smokin’ hot and I was feeling adventurous – I accompanied him back to his hotel room to view his... ahem, equipment.
“And I don’t regret it one bit,” I added, just because I knew how much it would irritate my overprotective friend. It was a bald-faced lie. While the sex had been enjoyable, the whole experience left me feeling hollow and… well, crappy. The guilt and shame ate at me for weeks. I eventually made peace with what I’d done, and decided to chalk it up as a learning experience; one I never wanted to repeat.
Ian reached for a C.D. from the wooden rack behind him and studied the song list. “I sti
ll can’t believe you went home with that guy,” he grumbled.
“I still can’t believe we made our escape before you could scare him off. You were off your game that night.”
“I don’t scare guys off,” Ian said indignantly. “I just give them incentive to act like gentlemen.”
I goggled at him in disbelief. “Need I remind you of what you said to Brian?”
The corners of his mouth quirked. “So?”
“Don’t ‘so’ me! That’s not incentive, it’s… interfering where you don’t belong.”
“Again, Sellers is a douche.”
I groaned, letting my head fall back. “Can we, for once, skip the ‘every guy you date is a douche, or a chode, or an… assclown’ discussion?”
Ian snickered down at the C.D. “Assclown? When have I ever called anybody an assclown?”
Way to steer the conversation off the topic. “Whatever.”
Ian held up his hands. “All I’m saying is that any guy who has to one-up everyone, just to prove how ‘knowledgeable’ he is? That’s the classic definition of a douche. A guy like that doesn’t deserve your time, let alone your attention. And, good God, don’t even get me started on the spray-on tan.”
Well, I had to give him that one. I’d been a little turned off by it myself, but willing to let it slide because of desirable qualities Brian possessed that more than made up for it – broad shoulders, a killer smile, and a genuine interest in me. “What about the girls you hook up with?”
“What about them?”
“Brainless Barbies.” I ticked the words off on my fingers.
Ian smirked and rubbed his lower abdominal muscles in a suggestive manner. “I’m not looking to discuss particle physics with ‘em.”
“Ugh, how did I ever become friends with such a pig?” I made a face of disgust, giving a halfhearted voice to my inner-feminist. My outrage would’ve been more genuine if I believed, for one second, that he was just another opportunistic playboy. Like his On-Air personality, this was just another face Ian presented to the world because the world responded favorably to it.
“A pig?” he cried in mock-affront. “I’ll show you a pig.” He captured my wrists in his large hands, yanked me side-saddle into his lap, then thrust his nose into the crook of my neck and oinked.
The Crimson Hunt Page 36
