“Yep. It’s been quite a ride. But what about you? What have you done with yourself for the past fifty years?”
“Oh, you know. A husband here, a million dollars there.”
“So which do you prefer? The men or the money?”
Ann rested her chin on her hand. “Hmm. The money’s hard to beat. I even learned enough to do a little day-trading. To keep myself in new shoes and purses, you know.”
“That probably takes a fortune.” Bree pulled her hand away from Ann’s thigh, where Ann had placed it. “What about the men?”
“Each marriage was fun while it lasted.” Ann’s expression was difficult to decipher. “But I never found anyone to take your place.”
The words landed like a body blow, and Bree took a minute to regain her breath. “Apparently you weren’t looking in the right place.” She pushed the swing into motion with her feet.
“What do you mean?” Ann appeared truly clueless.
“Haven’t you ever really seen me?” Bree couldn’t keep her bitterness from tingeing her words. “I’m a woman, in case you’ve never noticed.”
Ann stared. “But that would make me…a lesbian.” She said the word as if it were a cow patty.
Bree couldn’t believe Ann could so blindly dismiss that they’d once been lovers. At least Bree had made love to her. She’d certainly seemed to enjoy it at the time. “Yeah, and…?”
“But I’m not one.”
How could Ann deny everything Bree had given her, the beautiful moments they’d spent together? “Let’s review this situation. You’ve had five husbands and probably quite a few lovers. Correct?”
“Yes.”
“And none of them has ever satisfied you like I have. Or so you just said.”
Ann nodded.
“And I’m a woman.”
Again, Ann nodded, but more hesitantly.
“I’m not a woman?” Bree began to boil inside.
“I’ve never really thought of you as one. I know, you look like one. But somehow you don’t seem like it.”
Bree abruptly stopped the motion of the swing and jumped out of it. “What do you mean?” She faced Ann, hands on her hips. She felt like slugging someone. “No one has ever said that to me before.”
“Well, I just did. You’ve always seemed like a man to me. No, maybe a boy when we used to be together. But now you act like a man. Confident, assertive, competitive, taking what you want, like you did with me until I had to find someone to fall in love with so you’d stay away.”
Ann cringed. She appeared almost frightened.
“So that’s what happened. That’s why you kept on seeing that damn football player and informed me right before I left for college that you intended to marry him.”
“Yes. That’s the only way I could get you to leave me alone. And I did marry him, eventually.” Ann stood up too. “Look at you. You haven’t changed a bit. You think you can swoop back into town like a big shot and start up with me again.” She glanced out at the road and seemed to become calmer. “You better go now.”
“Why? Because you think I’ll carry you inside and take what I supposedly want from you right now?” Bree laughed without an ounce of humor. “Is that what you want me to do? You always did, didn’t you? You’re the one who always invited me over and teased me and—”
“No.” Ann’s mouth quivered, but then she tightened her cheek muscles. “Read my lips. I am not a lesbian.”
A big silver Cadillac drove up and stopped. Bree watched a white-haired man climb out. “No. I suppose you’re not. And I’m glad. Sorry I bothered you. Good-bye.”
Ann straightened her crumpled face into a smile and spoke as her probable suitor neared. “It was great seeing you, Bree. Come again.”
Bree jumped into her red Mustang and peeled out of the gravel driveway as if she were still a teenager. God damn Ann White. She’d hurt her for the last time.
*
Linda stopped by Sandy’s house on her way back from lunch with her older son and his family. The sound of barking dogs greeted her as she knocked and then pushed through the front door and set a foil-covered paper plate on the dining table. “Brought you a piece of pecan pie,” she called.
“Thanks. Eat a big meal with one of your kids?” Sandy called.
“Yes.” Linda petted each of the dogs that had bounded toward her, barking like they hadn’t seen her in years.
“After all those years of kitchen duty, it must be a relief for you not to have to cook every day.”
Linda walked into the living room, the dogs trying to jump up on her. “Yes, it is. Though once in a while I do miss having company at mealtimes.”
“Down, girls.” Sandy gave her a knowing look. “But it’s nice to fix whatever you want, whenever you want, isn’t it?”
“It certainly is.”
Sandy had evidently slept late, because she was still in her pajamas, reading the Sunday paper, a lit cigarette in the ashtray next to her worn Microfiber recliner. Zoe and Cowboy, her two golden retrievers, pushed against Linda affectionately as she petted them again, then finally stretched out on the floor, one on either side of Sandy.
“How many times have you tried to stop smoking?” Linda asked as she sat on the couch.
Sandy shrugged. “Too many to count. I’ve quit promising myself that I would, because apparently I like it too much.”
“Obviously that’s not what you wrote on the slip of paper you burned last night.”
“No. I gave up on that one a long time ago. I wrote that I’d start helping you find a good woman to settle down with.”
“And why do you think I want your help?” Sandy was an avid matchmaker and would try to help the pope find a mate if she could.
“I saw the way you looked at Bree last night and figured someone like her might make your life a little more exciting and enjoyable.”
Suddenly nervous, Linda jumped up, walked over to the refrigerator, and pulled out a bottle of water. “How did I look at her, and why don’t you consider my life exciting and enjoyable?”
“You seemed like you really care for her, despite that sophisticated, big-city air she uses to keep people away. Especially when she made that comment about the effect of her brother’s death on her.”
“Yeah. That’s one reason I stopped by.” Linda slowly screwed the lid off the plastic bottle. “What do you remember about that? Were you still in town when it happened?”
Sandy took a drag from her cigarette. “Yes, I was. Let’s see. I must have been about seventeen or eighteen, but I was so wrapped up in myself and my friends I didn’t pay much attention.”
“Surely you remember something.” Linda downed a third of the bottle.
“It was definitely an accident, I recall. Happened while he and his dad were out hunting deer with friends, the weekend before Thanksgiving.”
“How terrible.”
“Yes. Practically the whole town turned out for his funeral. Bree and her mother looked like they were in shock for months afterward. Not that I saw them all that often, but I did run into them in town once in a while.” Smoke curled above Sandy’s head.
“Any idea what Bree meant last night when she said it changed her life forever?”
“None. Sorry. But you know how self-absorbed most teenagers are. All I could think about back then were boys and getting out of town as soon as I graduated.”
“You certainly got what you wanted, didn’t you?” Linda grinned, then took another long drink of water and sat back down. Cowboy opened his eyes and gazed at her lazily, then closed them.
“That I did.” Sandy looked thoughtful. “And I enjoyed every minute of it. That’s one reason I want to help you find someone.”
“And why’s what?”
“I don’t think you’ve enjoyed your life enough up to now. I’ve had my heart smashed and broken more hearts than you can shake a stick at. Now I’m ready to live with Cowboy and Zoe and feed off the past. Getting old’s my reward for wringing as much as I
have out of life.”
“You don’t think I’ve had my heart broken?” Linda emptied her bottle and set it on the end table with a crunch.
“Huh. That ex-husband of yours is a caricature. Older man is afraid he’s missed out, younger woman flatters him, and he jumps for her like a fish on a worm. You should be glad to be rid of him. Now maybe you can hook up with somebody interesting, and the right gender for a change.”
Linda couldn’t help but laugh. The end of her marriage had quit bothering her sooner than she thought it would, but she just couldn’t seem to find something to take its place. And maybe Sandy was right. Bree did stir things in her that she hadn’t felt in a long time, if ever. Getting involved might be good for both of them.
“So how do you suggest I put my heart out there for Bree to crush?” she asked. “Because you know she will. A lot worse than my ex did.” Linda shook her head. “No. Discussing this is a waste of time. Bree would never be interested in me.”
Sandy didn’t say a word, just settled back into her chair and picked up her newspaper.
“In fact, last night I told Bree she should go visit Ann,” Linda said.
Sandy sat up again and rustled the newspaper she held. “Why on earth would you do that?”
“I want her to be happy. I want Ann to be happy.”
“What about you?” Sandy scowled. “I think Bree might be able to make you happy.”
“Not until she breaks whatever spell Ann has cast on her.” Linda suddenly felt like she’d fallen into a dry, dark well and could barely see the sunlight far above her. Bree would never break Ann’s spell.
*
Bree stopped by the local Dairy Queen and ordered a chili-cheese dog with fries for lunch. The familiar smell of greasy burgers had tempted her to indulge herself. After all, she’d eaten a bowl of oatmeal and fruit earlier, and that feast last night at Sandy’s and the few meals she’d had with Carolyn had been low-fat and nutritious. Her encounter with Ann had made her crave comfort food, but to salve her conscience, she ordered a Diet Coke as well.
As she took a bite of her hot dog, Linda slid into the bright-red booth across from her. “Saw your car and stopped. How are you after our wild party last night?”
“Shocked, in a good way. I never dreamed of getting involved with a coven in my hometown.” She was whispering. “I thought it’d be a typical Halloween get-together.”
Linda chuckled. “Don’t underestimate the women around here. We have all types of groups to keep ourselves busy.”
“Such as?” Bree took another bite, trying to keep the chili from dripping onto her hand.
“Church, with all its activities, such as singing in the choir, bell ringing, and Bible study.”
“Of course.” Bree shrugged. Church obviously filled the needs of a lot of people. To each her own.
“We have book clubs, a gourmet-cooking group, bridge, golf, tennis, mahjong, master gardeners, plus—”
Bree held up a hand. “That’s enough. I get the picture.”
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to bore you.”
“You didn’t. I’d simply forgotten what life in a small town is like.”
Linda took a sip of her Lemonade Chiller in its clear plastic cup. “Yes. That’s easy to do. I was so busy with my family I didn’t pay attention to the various clubs. Then one day I looked around and my children were grown.”
“Do they still live here?” Bree asked politely.
“The two boys do. But they’re long since married and have wives to take care of them.”
“Two boys? I thought you had a daughter.” She wasn’t going to mention Carolyn’s gossip.
“Just one. She’s my youngest and lives out of state. She usually visits a couple of times a year.”
“Grandchildren?” Bree held back a yawn.
“Four. Three boys and a girl. They belong to my sons, so I can spend a lot of time with them, now. After I came out to my oldest, he refused to let me see his two boys for a year or so.”
“That’s cold.” Bree shivered. After last night at Sandy’s, she’d momentarily forgotten how intolerant people in this area could be. “Is he okay with you now?”
Linda’s smile looked strained. “He’s trying.”
“Trying?”
“Yes. At least he’s speaking to me. And when I ate with him and his family today, he acted almost like he used to.”
“Ouch. That must be rough.”
Linda’s cheek muscles relaxed a fraction. “The concept of same-sex love is just so foreign to some people. Apparently it takes a while for them to realize I haven’t turned into a raging monster who tries to pick up unwary straight women in rest-area bathrooms.”
Bree laughed, and Linda’s eyes brightened. “I can’t visualize you doing that. But I’m glad he’s getting his head together.”
Linda’s domestic scene didn’t exactly fascinate Bree, but she was vaguely curious. It was odd to think of Ann’s quiet kid sister as a capable, self-assured grandmother trying to make a drastic midlife change. And it was even stranger to find her rather attractive, too, in an understated way that usually didn’t interest Bree.
“Been to see Ann yet?” Linda asked, apparently tired of discussing her own private life.
Bree finished her hot dog and wiped some chili from the corner of her mouth. “Yes. I just got back. She hasn’t changed much, has she?”
“How do you mean?”
“She’s still beautiful.”
Linda sighed. “Yes. She is that.”
“With a little help from plastic surgeons, she confessed.”
“None but the best. In Dallas, mostly.”
“Last night you mentioned suicide. What happened?” Bree focused on the red DQ emblem on Linda’s cup but couldn’t keep the concern from her voice.
“I’m sure you know what a private person Ann has always been.” Linda took another drink of lemonade, as if considering how much to reveal.
“Yes. She always seemed to share a lot more of herself than she actually did.”
“She hasn’t confided in me a lot. That’s one reason I wanted you to go see her.” She stirred the frozen lemonade with her straw. “But I suspect getting older and beginning to lose her looks was a major cause.”
Bree nodded. “Must be hard on someone who’s always relied on her appearance to help her get what she wants.”
“You mean men.”
Bree had to face facts. “Yes. From what I’ve heard, she’s had more than her share of them.”
“For sure. All types. Rugged, gentle, businessmen, ranchers.”
“Quite a variety.”
“Yes. But they all have one thing in common.”
“What’s that?”
“Money.”
Bree laughed uneasily and cleared her throat. “You’re not accusing your sister of being mercenary, are you?”
“No. I wouldn’t use that word. But she is used to the good life, and she’s spent all her energy finding the best way to have it. Most men are suckers for a pretty face.”
“Do I detect a hint of bitterness?”
“Probably. My ex left me for a younger, prettier woman several years ago.” Linda shrugged. “So yes. You’re right. But mainly I feel sorry for Ann. Do you think you can help her?”
“Me? We lost touch right after high school. Why would you think I could have any influence on her?”
“She always seemed so crazy about you.”
“Are we talking about the same person?”
Linda nodded. “She never listened to anyone the way she did to you. All we heard around the house for a year or so was Bree said this or Bree thinks that.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
Linda wouldn’t lie about something like this, would she? Bree wanted to believe her.
“Actually, I finally got tired of hearing her talk about you so much. But that summer before you went away to college, she got so upset. Things were never the same between you two after that,
were they?”
“No. Her infatuation with that football player she’d just met did us in.” Bree’s heart felt like a football that someone had battered with a sledge hammer. That terrible summer had been almost as painful as Brett’s death.
Linda’s eyes were shining. “Maybe this time you can help her find whatever she’s looking for.”
Bree took a long drink of her Diet Coke. Ann had never seemed to pay attention to anything she said. And then she’d made the choice that had almost killed Bree. “Thanks for sharing, and for asking me to help. But if I ever did have any influence over Ann, I lost it a long time ago. Sorry.”
Linda just stared at her, seeming disappointed.
“I truly am sorry.” Bree glanced at her watch. “Look. I need to go visit Sarah. Good to see you. Maybe we’ll run into each other at Silverado again.” She stood before she said anything hurtful about Ann that she might regret later. Then she shoved her trash into the bin, pushed the heavy glass door open, and walked out of the Dairy Queen.
If her mother were doing better, Bree would be on a plane to Chicago in a few hours. This town was even smaller than she remembered, and she didn’t want to have any more to do with it than she had to.
*
Linda slowly finished her lemonade slush and waved to the server as she left. Bree had seemed upset and rather defensive while they discussed Ann. Why? Had they been more than just friends?
Linda had planned to go home and read a novel by one of her favorite authors, then watch a classic movie she’d recorded. On Sunday afternoons and nights she tried to do whatever she pleased. However, today she decided to go visit Ann and see if she could find some answers.
As she turned into the circular driveway to her childhood home, she spotted Ann in her usual spot on the front porch.
“Hi, Linda,” Ann called, and waved. Then she waited as Linda parked and climbed the front steps.
Ann almost always expected visitors to come to her where she lounged in the white porch swing. Did she visualize their home as having tall white Greek columns and herself as a Southern belle?
Autumn Spring Page 6
