by L. Ann Marie
"I did this. I made you feel worthless and I can't tell you how sorry I am. I'll take whatever time you're willing to give me. I fucked us up. I'm going to work on earning your trust and respect back Kate. There won't be other women or whores while I'm doing it. I promise you. You do what you need to while I'm working on me and us. I won't make you regret giving me a shot Kate. I don't want to lose you, I'll make sure I do it right." I let her hand go. "Can I call you and take you out, not on dates but just spending time with you until you're ready for a date with me?" My fuckin brain is chanting please say yes.
She hesitates. "I guess I can't say no to that. I agreed to give you a shot. I want to be clear, no sex, just friendship until I'm ready to make a decision. I can't go there with you. It clouds my judgment."
"Fair enough and thank you. I won't fuck it up." I'm hoping she can trust me enough to believe me.
She nods. "Can we get breakfast now? I'm starving."
For the first fuckin time since yesterday I breathe easy. I smile and squeeze her hand, "Yeah, me too." I call the waitress over. She looks put out. I smile at her. "I fucked up and had to renegotiate our relationship. Sorry it took so long but I fucked up big. Thanks for being patient."
She smiles at Kate, "Good for you, it's always the GQ looking guys that screw it up. Make him work for it honey." She's not fuckin helping. I just didn't want her to spit in our food because we made her wait. Kate laughs and tells her what she'll have. I give her my order and she gives me a look. Fuck. Kate laughs again.
"I just didn't want her pissed with our food back there. Now I'm not so sure she won't spit in my food, I think yours is safe." I'm watching the woman put our order in. Kate cracks up.
Chapter Seven
I pull up to Tiny’s and hit the horn. He lumbers out with a funky fishing hat on. I can’t help but laugh. His piercings and tats just don’t go with the grandpa hat he’s wearing.
He climbs in and jumps right to the run yesterday. “Heard what happened Brother. I was surprised you were on the run.” VP must have told him we were challenged by another club. Fuckin shoot out at the shipyard was not my idea but I hit tires and sent one percenters hitting the road.
“Bob had court or I wouldn’t have been. Kind of glad I was though he’s young to be getting shot at.” That was a cluster fuck.
“Bob’s fuckin good at his job, wouldn’t have ended any different with him there. VP says he’s level headed and a fuckin good shot. He don’t give compliments. Where did you learn to shoot?”
“Prospecting. My sponsor was fuckin awesome. He taught me to shoot then took me on rides in the reservation where he put up targets. I had to hit them while riding. I thought he was a GOD.” I chuckle.
“Name was Axe. Another fuckin Brother died in a drug war.” He says.
“Yeah.” I make the ride for the boys lost in thought. I wonder why VP didn’t say anything about me hitting every fuckin biker yesterday. Fuck if I’ll ask for Security, I’m thinking he just doesn’t want me near him. No matter what I do they don’t want me for some reason. I can’t get it out of my head and I’m so fuckin unsure of my standing in the Club. When did Brotherhood get so fuckin hard? We get the boys and unload our gear.
These kids are so fuckin good, I love taken them out. Tiny cracks us up trying to cast. Jessie shows him how it's done. "Uncle Tiny you gotta hold the line like this." He demonstrates. Little Ben watches and nods making me smile. He's just like his father; he doesn't say much but watches everything. Him and Jessie seem to know what the other is thinking with just a look. Jessie moves back over to Little Ben's side and they watch their lines.
"Fuckin kid knows more about fishin than I ever will." Tiny says to me.
"Why'd you want to come fishing then?" I ask him perplexed, he called and asked to come along.
"Heard you came up for breath and wanted to see for myself. VP seems concerned. I like him better relaxed. Figured I could put his mind at ease telling him you're back." He says looking at the water.
Fuckin Brothers. I take a deep breath and blow it out. "If everyone was so fuckin concerned about me, why the fuck didn't someone put out a fuckin hand." I try to keep my voice low so the boys don't hear me.
"Wasn't you they were concerned about. What you’re doing to Kate is the concern, along with other Brothers interest in her. We try to avoid drama like that. With you both bein VP's family, it causes concern."
It would have been nice if at any time one of my fuckin Brothers was concerned about me. “What the fuck? Other Brothers not just Jared?" Fuckin hell! There's a fuckin line of Brothers waiting?
"She's a fuckin knockout Brother, you thinkin no one notices tells the whole fuckin story. Brothers are waiting for her to be shot of you, now she's dating; they're just waiting for their chance at her." He looks at me as if I'm slow.
"She's giving me a shot. Fuckin Brothers can wait a little longer.” I want to ask for names so I can beat the fuck out of them.
"Kate's taking dates while you're reforming. I know she's been out with Jared twice. Don't think that's your choice anymore. It's not cool for you to make no secret with the whores and try to stake a claim to VPs family when you treat her like an option Brother. Plenty of Brothers are willing to treat her like a lady."
Fuck, every fuckin day I'm getting lectured by one brother or another. Fuckin Jared, taking her out twice. I need to get my shit together a hell of a lot faster than I'm moving. "How is she VPs family? She's Jess's friend." Everyone keeps throwing that at me.
"Where the fuck is your head? He claimed her as family a couple fuckin years ago. Closest she's got to blood is Jess. That girl needs anything he's there along with Ben, Casper and me. If your head wasn't in pussy, I bet you'd be there too." He's not hiding our conversation from the boys. Shit.
"Look, it took her dating to wake me the fuck up. It would have been nice if a fuckin Brother would have put his fuckin hand out for me, but I don’t get that at my position. I haven't been to the club since I moved back to my house. I promised Kate I wouldn't make her regret giving me another shot. I don't know what the fuck to do with everyone wanting a shot at her. I'm going to get her back and do right by her. While I'm doing it, I'll work at proving to every fuckin Brother I'm worth it, just so I don’t have to listen to one more fuckin lecture. I'm here to fish with the boys. I'm not talking about this shit another fuckin minute." I'm pissed looking at him.
He fuckin smiles, "I'll tell VP he can relax." He goes to the boys and has Jessie show him how to cast again. Fuckin Brothers.
Chapter Eight
One month…
Work is crazy; I think something is in the water. Why the hell do men feel it’s ok to beat women? As I’m driving home I try to put it all aside. Our Chairman is making it hard though. He’s too damn busy to deal with the day to day operation of the Center so everyone and their brother call me. Tonight I’m off. I have another date with Jacob. Our last date was to the Water Fire in Providence. It was nice. That pretty much sums up all my dates. It was nice. Danny spends time with me a couple times a week and calls me every other night. We have fun doing the most mundane things. I really like how he’s working to earn respect back. He’s making it hard for me to see anyone else but I’m determined to make sure I’m not in love with an idea. So, back to Jacob, I need to be changed and ready in thirty minutes and I’m not even home yet. I wish he would have listened when I told him I would be cutting it close. At least he said to dress casual. Pulling in I jump out of my car and run around like a chicken with my head cut off pulling on jeans and a blouse. I just get my hair brushed when he knocks.
Opening the door I'm surprised to see Danny, my smile matches his. “Hi Danny, I’m on my way out. Did you need something?”
“I told Little Ben I’d pick up his sweatshirt from here on my way over. We’re on a worm mission so we can go fishing tomorrow.” He says smiling as if catching worms is a fun activity.
I reach behind the door to the coat hooks. “Bet they’re going to
love that.” I shiver thinking of the worms.
He laughs, “I wouldn’t think of asking if you want to go.”
I look over him seeing Jacob pull in front of my house. He looks behind him then back at me. “I’m not sure I would like the worm thing but I have plans.”
He nods with a sad look in his eyes. “Have fun.” He walks away.
Wow, I really feel bad as I watch his truck turn the corner. Jacob is standing in front of me. “Let me get my coat.” He nods looking at the corner. I grab my coat and purse and meet him on the front steps.
“Who was that?” He asks.
“Hi Jacob, it’s good to see you too. That was my best friend’s brother. He came to get her son’s sweatshirt so they can collect bait tonight.”
He gives me a hard look. The hair on the back of my neck stands up. “He looks like he was more than just someone’s brother.”
“We dated for more than a year, we’re good friends.” I’m thinking this isn’t feeling right. I went on one date with the guy.
“You don’t need friends like that. He wants to be more than your friend. Not while I’m around.” He says harshly.
“I guess it’s settled then. It was nice meeting you Jacob.” I turn around to go back in.
“What are you doing? We need to get going or we’ll miss the start.” He grabs my arm.
“Jacob let me go and look at the light post on the corner. There is a camera there that watches my house. The MC surrounded my house with video surveillance. Step away. We had one date, you start telling me who I can be friends with sends up red flags. I am a domestic abuse counselor and domestic violence security expert. I’m good friends with the MC, the Baxters and the Police chiefs in this county. I think you should move along and forget my number.”
He lets me go. “You’re not worth it. I wasted enough money on you.” He turns and walks to his car still mumbling. The guy is something else. Water Fire is free. He bought two drinks for me.
Tiny rides by waving at me. I smile and wave back. Jacob didn’t miss it. I wonder if they really were watching. I smile and go inside pulling some bills from my wallet and stashing my purse. I decide I need an ice-cream and head to the cone.
I have no idea why I’m smiling, I laugh at myself as I’m pulling in front of the cone. I order my favorite, a twist, and sit at one of the tables. It’s a nice night and I enjoy watching the kids play at the playground. I always wanted a house full of kids. At this point in my life I’d settle for one. I’m startled by little arms tightening around my back. I laugh.
“Te Kate. Uncle Danny said you were busy.” Jessie says.
“Well I was but my plans fell through. Since I was alone, I thought I’d get a cone to cheer me up.” I smile at the two boys.
“You always smile when you’re with us.” Little Ben says.
I hear Danny chuckling. I smile at them. “I do smile when I’m with you. You are my favorite little men. Did you come for cones?”
“Nope just to get containers for our worms.” Danny says from behind me. I watch him walk to the cone.
“We had dessert already.” Jessie tells me. “Do you want to get worms with us? You don’t have to pick them up.”
“You can just hang with us so you’re not alone.” Little Ben says. These freakin kids.
“I guess I can, but only because you’re my favorites. I wouldn’t go worm catching with just anyone you know.” I smile at them.
“You’ll have your own family Te Kate. When you do we’ll come worm catching with them so you can take a break.” Little Ben says. I hug him to hide the tears in my eyes. Jessie hugs me too.
Danny comes back with the containers. “Te Kate is coming too Uncle Danny. We’re going to make her happy tonight. We don’t want her to be alone.”
Danny smiles at me. “Sounds perfect.” He doesn’t say anymore and I'm grateful I don't have to offer an explanation.
I follow and watch them dig and pick up the ugliest worms I have ever seen. They gross me out, but we have the best time. I thank them for letting me tag along and drive home to take a long soak in burning hot water so I get the worm heebie jeebies off.
Danny
I’m so fuckin glad Kate’s date fell through. I know she’s been out on dates but I try not to think about it. Seeing a guy there made it hit home a lot harder than I expected. I know exactly how she felt when she heard about the whores and I don’t even know if she’s slept with anyone. Fuck I was a selfish dick; I feel it most when I realize how much I stand to lose. I’m finally seeing approval in my Brothers eyes; I’m not fuckin this up again. Walking away from her house was hard but I’m getting her back. I know she had fun tonight even if it was with worms. I have to do something special for my two little wing men for keeping her with us.
I drive home thinking about my Kate. I have every intention of being with her so I need to start taking steps to making my house one she’ll want to live in. Walking in the door I look around critically. This is definitely a man’s house. Me and Rich were happy with it but Rich has his own place now. I decide on changing the rooms and redoing the kitchen. I need to get rid of this bachelor pad furniture. I think I’ll add on to the side and extend the master bath putting a balcony on the second floor. Since my head is swimming in plans I grab a roll of paper and start drawing them out. Two hours later I have a rough drawing of what I want. I need to get it built and figure out a way to get Kate to help me decorate it. I smile to myself. I’m getting her back. My beautiful K.
Chapter Nine
Three weeks…
I know she's home so I call her earlier than usual. “Kate, are you busy tomorrow?” I’m hoping she isn’t on call.
“I am. I have a class up in Boston. It will be a half day but the ride will make it a whole day.” She doesn’t sound happy about that.
“That works out perfect, what time is your class?” I smile, this will work.
“I’m not teaching it, it’s a security class I’m taking, part of ongoing training. It starts at ten and is out at two.”
“Would you like a ride? I need to go into Maine then back to Boston. I could drop you on my way up and pick you up before I head home.” My brain is chanting, ‘please say yes’.
“That would be perfect, thank you. What are you doing in Maine?”
“I’ll be looking at some bathroom fixtures and checking the color on a special order tub I have them building. It won’t take more than an hour.” I smile. I can’t wait for her to see it.
“Are you checking on orders in Boston too? I don’t want you to have to hang around waiting for me.” She says with that shy voice.
She makes me smile, if she only knew what I’d be willing to do for her. “I’m looking for furniture in Boston. I’m sure I can keep myself busy while I’m up there. Do you want to help me pick furniture? I hate fucking shopping. We could have dinner while we’re there.”
“Yes! I love shopping, even if it’s for furniture. Who are you shopping for?” She’s excited now. I hear the smile in her voice.
“Me. It’s time to update my house. Rich is gone and I’m sick of the black leather modern look.”
“Oh. I’ve never seen the inside of your house. I’m surprised you picked that look. I would have thought you would run more toward traditional and antique. Like your old house.” She says like it’s a question.
“I do. Rich picked out this stuff; he was looking for a change. I didn’t have the heart to shoot him down so I just went with it. I’m actually bringing all this shit to his apartment.” I tell her. I know what she likes, I’ve seen every room in her house; we are cut from the same cloth there.
“Well I’d love to shop with you. What time do you want to leave?” She asks, I’m wondering if she’s trying to get off the phone. I'm going to drive myself crazy with jealousy if I don't cut the shit and get her back soon.
“I’ll pick you up at seven-thirty just in case of crazy traffic.” I smile. I plan on spending as much time as possible with her. She’
s not getting home until late tomorrow.
“Ok, I’ll see you then. I’m excited to shop with you, thanks for asking.” She sounds happy.
“See you tomorrow.” I hang up before I screw up, but I do it with a smile.
I look around the house. It’s coming along; the guys are finishing the kitchen tomorrow. Once the tin ceiling is painted they can get the counters in and the wood floors sanded and buffed. I’m almost as excited as Kate is.
I get back to the plans I need to finish for the guy in Marshfield so I can be done with this job. I need the time to focus on Kate.
Chapter Ten
Two weeks....
Saturday breakfast is at Jess house this week, Jess invited me over. Eight brothers show up today. It’s a light day because of Memorial Day weekend. I'm helping in the kitchen. "You've been out with Danny three times this week." I hear the question she doesn't ask.
"Yeah. We're working on being friends Jess; don't read more into it right now. I have a date with Len from work tonight." Her eyes whip to mine. "He asked and I said yes. How can I make a decision without information? You know I've been dating right along. Len is a hunk and he makes me laugh."
Her whole body slumps. "I know you're right. I thought since you've been with him so much this week you made the decision. I wish he didn't turn into such a dick."
"He's changing Jess. I'm giving him time to do that. We've been spending a lot of time together. We've done everything from walking the beach to checking out his jobs. I even went with him and the boys to collect worms. It’s all been good. This week we went to get things for his house. Even with the new furniture he says it didn't feel like a home. Just friend stuff."
