He lay back down and folded his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling. He was going to lose her. Deep in his gut he knew it, and he was bone-deep scared.
One second the room was silent. The next, a tornado of energy came whirling in. Rose’s pajama-clad behind plopped down on his stomach, and her hands landed flat against his bare chest. He gave a “woof” as the air in his diaphragm was pushed out by the weight of her. She rubbed her nose against his and said, “Good morning, Stony.”
Her visits had become a morning ritual. After the first nearly embarrassing episode several months ago, he had stopped sleeping naked. It was a small enough sacrifice to enjoy the light she brought with her each morning.
“Hi there, little bit,” he said. “What’s up?”
“Is it spring yet?” she asked, glancing out the window.
Snow from an early March storm was melting from the tin roof, dripping off the eaves. “Almost,” he said.
“You promised to let me ride a pony when spring comes.”
“So I did.” He rubbed his morning beard. There was no putting it off. “I have to leave for a while, Rose. I have to go chase the bad men again.”
She frowned, a ferocious glare worthy of the vilest villain in a penny dreadful. “I don’t want you to go.”
A sudden lump formed in his throat. He didn’t want to go, either. How had Rose become so dear to him when he harbored such resentment against her for the place in her mother’s heart she stole from him? It was hard not to be enchanted by Rose, who gave love freely and demanded nothing in return.
She bounced up and down on his stomach. “Don’t go. Don’t go. Don’t go,” she chanted.
He grabbed her hips to save his solar plexus. “I won’t be gone long. And when I come back, it will be spring.”
“Promise? And I can ride a pony?”
“I promise. And you can ride a pony.”
“Yippee!” The bouncing started again, as though she were already on the horse, a wild bucking bronc.
“Whoa, there, cowgirl! Wait until you have the horse under you.” He slid Rose onto the bed between them, tickling her once he had her down. She giggled delightedly. It was all part of the game between them.
Rose turned to Tess, who by now was always awake and leaning on her elbow with a grin on her face, watching their antics.
“I’m hungry, Mama,” Rose said.
“Breakfast will be ready as soon as you put on the clothes I left at the foot of your bed last night,” Tess said.
Rose hugged her mother and got a kiss on both cheeks and the tip of her nose before she disappeared into her own bedroom to dress.
Stony proceeded with the next part of the ritual, which involved him and Tess and a few drugging early-morning kisses that occasionally turned into hard, fast and unbelievably satisfying sex. But not this morning.
Tess leaned back and searched his face, looking for something.
“What is it?” he asked.
“Remind me what it is, precisely, that you don’t like about kids,” she said.
His eyes shuttered immediately. This was forbidden territory, and she knew it.
“Don’t shut me out, Stony. Talk to me.”
“What is it you want me to say?”
“Explain why you profess not to like kids when I can see with my own eyes how good you are with Rose.”
He sat up against the headboard and shoved an irritated hand through his hair. He couldn’t tell her about the lie. Maybe he could tell her about this. “It’s not something I’m proud of,” he admitted, hoping that would be enough to placate her.
“Can you tell me what it is? Will you?” she persisted.
It came out in a rush, before he could stop himself. “My mom died when I was little, and it was just my dad and me. He must have missed my mom a lot, because after she was gone, he lost himself in his work. He never had any time to spend with me. So I spent my time alone.
“When I was thirteen, my dad remarried and started a second family. He changed his priorities. My half brother, Todd, suddenly got all the attention I’d been yearning for ever since my mother’s death.” He shrugged. “That’s it.”
He was amazed at her perception when she said, “I see. Oh, I see. Why you profess you don’t like children, I mean. You resented sharing your father’s love with a baby.”
“I don’t want to share you,” he said, the words torn from him almost against his will.
“Oh, Stony.” Tess slipped her arms around Stony’s waist and laid her head against his chest, where she could hear his heart madly thumping.
“Don’t you know love is boundless?” she said quietly. “It doesn’t have limits. I can love Rose and still have more than enough left over for you.”
It was an admission of love, of sorts. Even that was more than Tess had intended to say. Yet, she knew Stony had needed to hear her say it.
“Leftovers,” he grumbled, pulling her tightly, possessively, against him.
She hesitated only a second before plunging even farther into dangerous waters. “No. Not leftovers. I love you differently than Rose. She’s my own flesh and blood. I feel responsibility and delight and devotion when I look at her.
“But you, Stony. You’re the other half of me. I’ve been looking for you all my life. I love you with every particle of my being.”
His arms tightened until she thought her ribs would crack. She waited to hear the words from him, needed to hear them. She silently begged the wary wolf to take the few steps necessary to reach the hand she had held out to him.
“God, I love you, Tess.”
She felt her nose burn and tears sting her eyes. She clutched at him, a sob of joy clogging her throat. “Oh, Stony. I love you so much.”
“What about me?” Rose demanded. She stood beside the bed fully dressed, her shirt on inside out, tugging at the sheet that covered them.
Tess looked at Stony, and they grinned at each other. He reached down and scooped Rose up in one arm and pulled her close to include her in their hug.
“I love you, too, Rose,” he said, his dark eyes focused on Tess.
Tess knew what it meant for him to make such an admission. Knew it was only the beginning for them all. There would be no need for her and Rose to leave now. The future loomed before them, bright and shining.
“Are you going to be my daddy?” Rose said.
Tess looked to Stony for his answer, her heart in her eyes. Say yes, she willed him. We come together as a package. It won’t mean leftovers. I have plenty of love for both of you.
He cleared his throat before he spoke, prolonging the moment, a wary wolf until the very end. Then he surprised her, because she had really thought he was going to say yes.
He said maybe.
“We’ll see, Rose,” Stony said. “We’ll have to see.”
Tess was startled—almost alarmed—at how quickly Stony extricated himself from their cozy cuddle. “What’s the hurry?” she asked.
“I’ve got to get going,” he said. “I have to be in Jackson by noon.”
Since it was early morning and Jackson Hole only an hour’s drive away, his excuse didn’t make much sense. Maybe everything was moving too fast. Maybe he didn’t trust her not to give him leftover love. Or maybe he was being forced into a commitment he didn’t really want to make. Whatever it was, she felt the lone wolf retreating from her.
“Why don’t you go into the kitchen and get out the orange juice,” she said to Rose. “Then wait for me, and I’ll help you pour it into the glasses.”
“Okay, Mama,” Rose said.
Tess heard her trotting down the hall. “Can you drop me off in town before you leave?” she asked Stony. “I have some errands to run. I can get a ride back from Harry.”
“Why is Harry so willing to give you all these rides?” he said, stepping out of bed and yanking on a pair of jeans.
“Because he’s my friend,” she said. “Why else?” She got out of bed herself, because that was no place to a
rgue with a man.
“I don’t know,” he said, plainly irritated as he buttoned up his fly. “Why don’t you tell me?”
“Are you trying to start an argument?” she asked, fisted hands perched on her hips. “Because if you are, I’ll be more than happy to give you one.”
“Am I about to see that famous redheaded temper of yours?” he snarled. “I’ve been waiting four months for it to erupt. I knew it was only a matter of time.”
He was purposely provoking her, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself. “I suppose you don’t have any foibles.”
“My foibles never bothered anybody when I lived alone.”
“That can easily be arranged again!” She shot the words back. She was heartsick, listening to herself. She didn’t want to leave him. She loved him. But he must want her to leave. Otherwise, he would never have started this argument. Unless there was something else.
“What’s wrong, Stony? What is it you aren’t telling me?”
Tell her now! Dammit, tell her.
He couldn’t. He was too scared. Happiness of a kind he had never imagined was in his grasp. He couldn’t take the chance of losing it.
“Dammit, what do you want from me?” he raged.
“I want an answer!” she retorted, easily as infuriated as he was.
He grabbed her arms and pulled her to him, capturing her mouth with his, his tongue thrusting possessively between her teeth. His palms cupped her buttocks, and he dragged her up the front of him until his hard length was pressed against her. She wasn’t nearly close enough. He jerked her panties down, tore open the buttons of his jeans and shoved down his underwear until he was free.
He lifted her legs around his hips and thrust inside her, deep and tight. He gripped her buttocks as he drove into her, hard and fast, reaching a climax only seconds later.
He felt the weight of her as his senses returned. She was trembling in his arms. Her breathing was as ragged as his, and he could see the rapid pulse pounding in her throat.
He eased her legs away from his sides and disengaged them, because his knees were threatening to buckle.
It was only then he realized he hadn’t used a condom.
He always used a condom. Because he didn’t want kids, didn’t like kids. Only, Tess had made him realize that was another lie. One he had told himself for years.
“Tess, I...”
“Don’t say anything.”
“I’m sorry,” he said anyway.
Her eyes slid closed, and she clung to him. It took him a moment to realize her knees were threatening to buckle, too.
“Sit down before you fall down,” he said, urging her onto the bed. He rearranged his clothing and picked up her silky underwear from the floor where it had fallen and handed it to her. When she didn’t take it, he dropped it on the bed beside her.
She sat unmoving. Silent.
He didn’t know what had come over him to make him take her like that, without warning. Her continued silence scared him even worse than her anger. “Tess, we’ll talk about this when I get back, all right?”
She didn’t answer him.
He gripped her chin and forced her to look at him. “You’ll be here when I get back.” It was an order. One he was afraid she would defy.
She remained mute.
He let go of her chin, and paced before her like an animal in a cage. “Look, I couldn’t stand the thought of Harry DuBois pawing you like your boss.”
She looked up at him, her brow deeply furrowed. “Harry is nothing like Bud. He’s my friend. That’s all we are to each other.”
“Then you’ll come back here and wait for me after you’ve finished your errands in town?” he asked anxiously.
“You’ll have to give me a ride into town first,” she said with the beginning of a smile.
“About...about what happened,” he said, his hand plowing its way through his hair. “I...I don’t know what came over me.”
She glanced up at him coyly. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were jealous of Harry DuBois.”
He grabbed at the excuse she had given him for his behavior and managed a sheepish grin. Maybe he had been a little jealous. “You belong to me,” he said. “Be here, Tess.”
“I’ll be here when you get back,” she promised.
* * *
TESS HAD fully intended to keep her promise to Stony when she made it. She hadn’t counted on finding out the dreadful secret he had kept from her for more than four months.
Stony had killed Charlie.
She had gone to Harry’s office to ask for a ride home, and he had seen the love bruise on her throat that Stony had put there during their tempestuous lovemaking that morning.
“Why do you stay with him, Tess?” Harry demanded. “I’ve told you time and again the man’s dangerous.”
“Not to me,” she replied with a smug smile. “Come on, Harry,” she said, slipping her arm through his. “Have a piece of pie with me at the Buttermilk Café before I pick up Rose from Mrs. Feeny. Then you can drive us home.”
“All right, Tess. Against my better judgment, I’ll give you a ride back up to his place.”
They were settled in a booth with a slice of the buttermilk pie for which the café was famous in front of them when Harry said, “How soon do you think you’ll be coming back to town? There’s an apartment coming available in the complex over by the hospital next week.”
“I don’t think I’ll be coming back to town,” Tess said.
“You’ll have to, once you get a job.”
“I don’t think I’ll be looking for a job in Pinedale.”
“What are you talking about?” Harry asked. “What’s going on, Tess?”
“I think I’ll be staying at Stony’s cabin. With him.”
“You’d actually consider living with him indefinitely? When you won’t even consider a marriage proposal from me. Explain that to me, Tess.”
Tess flushed. “He loves me, Harry. And I love him.”
“You know nothing about the man!” Harry snarled, keeping his voice down to avoid being overheard by the growing lunch crowd in the café.
“I know everything that’s important to know about him.”
“Like the fact he killed your husband?” Harry snapped.
Tess’s heart actually stopped beating for an instant. “That’s...” She started to say impossible, but she had known for months that Stony hunted rustlers for a living. She settled instead for, “Unbelievable.”
“Believe it,” Harry said. “I don’t understand why he never told you himself. I didn’t think he had, or you wouldn’t be in love with the man.”
“He...he was only doing his job.” She hated herself for defending Stony, when what she wanted to do was rage at him. She closed her eyes and gritted her teeth to try to stop her chin from trembling.
Why hadn’t Stony told her? He couldn’t care for her feelings very much, or he would have confessed his part in Charlie’s death long ago. He had said he loved her. Had he stretched the truth about that, too? More likely, he just liked sleeping with her, making love to her.
“Stay in town with me, Tess. Don’t go back to him. I’ll take care of you. You won’t have to worry about anything. You can stay at my place and keep house for me.”
“Rose doesn’t like you, Harry.”
Harry snorted. “Rose is stingy with her favors, Tess. Tell me, does she like Stony?”
She hadn’t, at first. She loved him now. The thought of how disappointed, how utterly heartbroken her daughter would be if she never saw Stony again, made Tess’s throat constrict. It was painful to swallow the bite of pie in her mouth, but somehow she managed it. A tear scalded her cheek as it slid free. She brushed it angrily away. She wasn’t about to cry over any man who could so callously lie to her.
She had been a fool again and given her trust to yet another untrustworthy man. Only this time it was infinitely worse. This time the man who had betrayed her held more than her heart. He possessed t
he other half of her soul.
“Tess, let me comfort you,” Harry urged. “Let me take care of you.”
“No!” she snarled across the table at him. “The last thing I’d ever do is put my life in another man’s keeping. Take me back to Stony’s cabin, Harry.”
“What for?”
“I want to pack mine and Rose’s things.”
“Then what?”
“I have a little money saved—my salary for the past four months,” she said with a cynical twist of her mouth. “I plan to use it to buy us tickets on the first bus that passes through town.”
“Where will you go, Tess?”
“Anywhere that takes me away from here.”
Chapter Six
HARRY WAS INCENSED at the way things were turning out. Not only had he lost his chance of getting Tess Lowell into his bed, but it was likely Stony Carlton was going to show up in the wrong place at the wrong time and spoil a real sweet thing. Damn Charlie Lowell for getting himself killed. The replacement Harry had been forced to hire to run his rustling operation wasn’t nearly as reliable or as accessible. Every time he had to make contact with the man it increased the danger of getting caught himself.
It had been damn handy over the past four months having a spy in the enemy camp. Not that Tess had known the role she played. But every time she called on him for a ride into town he had known for sure that Stony was out in the field. He had promptly gotten his band of rustlers out of harm’s way.
Only, this time, Stony had left home the very day Harry had scheduled a tractor trailer pickup of stolen beef. Harry wasn’t sure he could get in touch with his henchman in time to warn him. He had tried phoning his contact in Jackson, but there hadn’t been an answer, and he refused to leave an incriminating message on an answering machine.
Harry had no choice except to drive to the rendezvous point himself and warn his man off before it was too late. He didn’t want things spoiled too soon. A few more good runs, and he would have all the money he needed to buy himself a ranch someplace nice and warm, like Arizona.
When Harry arrived at the rendezvous, he saw the trailer was already there being loaded. He watched for a long time from seclusion, making sure there was no sign of the range detective before he drove down into the valley.
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